My Funny Story About Riding A Horse

Favorite Funny Stories - Horseback Riding

From early childhood, I have had a love affair with horses. I cannot say why or how it all started but at the ripe old age of 6 or 7, I went into the field behind the duplexes where we were living in California, untied a full-grown horse who was about a million times my size, and very proudly took it by the lead and clomped, clomped, clomped it through the duplexes and 'parked' him or her at my front door.

I then had the audacity to go inside and leave the poor thing outside. I announced to my mom 'Guess what followed me home?' She was not pleased! She was also not amused. Now she is - it is yet another of the Audrey stories that circulate in our family from time to time.


Vicki circa 1971
Vicki circa 1971
Audrey circus 1971
Audrey circus 1971
Where we met - Band Freddies united
Where we met - Band Freddies united

My point being, this love affair I had with horses I acquired out of the blue. No one in my family loved horses. To finish the above story, I of course marched that horse back to its pasture and retied it up as best I could. I then went to tell the owner what I had done to make sure that the horse had not been missed and I would not be prosecuted for 'borrowing' the horse! But I never forgot that moment of feeling that huge animal walking behind me and nuzzling my shoulder. I already had a name for it!

Years later and a lifetime of crazy experiences behind me, I arrived at age 13 and entered high school. To say that I was a bit of a 'drama queen' would be putting it mildly. In my defense, all of it was not my fault. I do not mean to digress, but my life was a bit of trauma and drama so when I emerged as a young woman entering high school, I was a bit of a mess to put it mildly. I honestly didn't know if I was coming or going.

All this is said not to bemoan my childhood. It is what made me who I am and that is a great thing! It is, however, to illustrate the magnitude of horses and horseback riding in my life and how I viewed this 'release'. I of course did not own a horse. I didn't even know anyone who did own a horse. When I think back on it now, that should have been my M.O. - I should have found a friend with horses and I would have been set for life!

I did have a substitute though - somewhere along the way in high school, I learned to make good money cleaning people's houses. I was great at it because I am by nature a neat freak and an organizer. My talents were not wasted as I made really good money doing it.

By the time I was several years into high school, I was in need of outlets for my stress - big time. Somehow or other, I remembered horses and that became my first love. I would work to buy clothes but I'd always set some aside most of my money for my one addiction - horseback riding. Once I was able to drive, it was even better. I would go into the hills outside La Mesa, California and head for the stables.

The Ride of a Lifetime

I would stride into the stables and without pausing for a moment in my excitement announce that I wanted the wildest, friskiest, biggest, fastest horse in the place. This was of course in the late 1960s when no one thought to put a helmet on someone riding a horse for recreation - nor did they seem particularly enamored of finding out if I actually knew how to ride! In fact, I learned 'on the job' - by saddling up one of the meanest, toughest, friskiest horses and just riding.

In retrospect, I think I had somewhat of a death wish - or at the very least, I needed to escape and feel free. I don't think I've ever felt that free in my life - before or since. I would no more than get up on the horse than I was kicking him or her in the ribs and galloping out of the yard. The only stipulation for my $20 was that I not bring back the horse lathered up. No one went with me - no one demonstrated what to do - and no one seemed to believe that I might not know what I was doing.

Those rides across the fields and hills of San Diego were some of the best days of my life. I would leave everything behind and gallop full tilt for all I was worth for roughly 45 minutes - followed by 15 minutes of letting the horse cool down and not getting into trouble for over-tiring the horse. Some of the time I would just lean out over the horse and grab hold of the neck and feel like I was flying. I was cautious enough to never jump anything other than a very low log - I might have been a little 'carefree and wild' but I wasn't insane!

At any rate, I would go alone on my wild rides and come back refreshed. I got to thinking that the only thing better than riding alone was perhaps riding with friends! I talked a group of 3 other girls into going with me one day - only that didn't go so well. Before we even got out of the yard, one of the girls reined in both reins on the horse which led to the horse spinning in circles and she fell off and broke her arm. Not cool! After that, I could talk until I was blue in the face and not one of those girls was going back!

Ah, now she gets to the point of the tale! Vicki - my dear friend Vicki Coy now Coy-Alpaugh. She was my forever friend at a time in my life when I truly needed good people around me. We are remarkably still friends! Even at the ripe old age of 56 or 57, she totally gets me - and this is a supreme gift. At any rate, we met in band - marching band to be specific. I had wanted to be in the hand corps but I was informed by my mother and stepfather that only 'sluts' were in the hand corps (I don't think my friends in the hand corps knew this).

I did not want to be in band - but if I had to be in band, I wanted to play the flute. Tough titties - I was not allowed to play the flute. I luckily did not have to play the piano as we strode down the street - too cumbersome and I could reserve that talent for private. Luckily, they also did not need an accordion player in the marching band - another whew!!! What would be the most non-sexy instrument for me to play - ah - the clarinet! Well, it could have truly been a lot worse now that I think back on it. I did well enough to pass muster and got into the band; in my final years, I actually was very good in spite of my dislike of the instrument - but I digress.

We were called Band Freddies - nice label and I do think in retrospect it was after a wonderful musician Fred Kidder who was several years ahead of us. However, Band Freddies was not a term of endearment - it was rather a kind of sneer about us being dorks. Oh well - we dorks hung together through thick and thin. It really was quite a wonderful part of my life and how I met many of my long ago friends and some of my friends through the decades, many of whom remain in contact and who I love dearly.

All this said, not many people were willing to go with Psycho Audrey on her little jaunts into the hills to run like the hounds of hell were chasing her. Can you blame them? They already knew what kind of 'accidents' befell those who had the nerve to 'saddle up and ride' with me! But Vicki, dear sweet, quiet, shy Vicki - she couldn't stand for me to be stressed out. She knew how my moods fluctuated like the barometer and she only wanted me to be happy. That can be the ONLY possible way that I talked this dear sweet girl into accompanying me!

Off we went on a Friday afternoon. I remember driving and I remember Vicki asking me several times if it was safe. 'Of course,' I assured her - you see me coming back every time don't you? 'Vick - you are going to LOVE it I tell you - the freedom - the running - the sound of the hooves galloping - it's like music!' When I looked over, she was a bit wide-eyed but she was still in the car after all so how bad could it be?

We arrived, went into the barn and I proceeded to step right up to the fellow saddling up the horses. 'Yeah - we know - fastest horse, wildest thing we got, the one who loves to run and needs to burn off some steam. Same for your friend here?' 'Ah - actually no - Vick - you tell them what you want and how big a horse you feel comfortable with'.

The look was priceless - I know she was going to say 'But, Audrey - I don't feel comfortable at ALL - is there like a horse with a cart - can I ride in the cart? At the very outside, can I drive the cart?' But not willing to hurt my feelings, she said very quietly 'One that I won't get hurt on please'. I think that might have been a clue that we needed a little help - but as I say - things were different then. Pay your money, saddle up - and get outta the stable. Ride, baby, ride!

After looking over the large looming horse who was much taller than Vicki (and me for that matter), Vicki saw me sitting atop my horse just primed to be off. She sighed a very long suffering sigh and then proceeded to try to get up on the very large though very gentle horse. Finally as I recall, someone got the idea that Vick might need a little help so they dutifully helped her get up on the horse and handed her the reins.

I think we gave her all of about a 2 second lesson - 'do this, whatever you do, don't do this, and when you want to stop, let me know'. I was literally chomping at the bit to get off and run and true to form, Ms. Considerate led Vicki out of the stable to the stable yard, and proceeded to do what I did - kicked my horse into high gear and off I went galloping like a loon.

Did I stop and think for 1 second that my poor, devoted, loyal friend Vicki had never been on a horse? Of course not! That is the stupidity of youth and I fully take responsibility for my insensitivity. Of course her horse followed mine - albeit at a slower pace because she did not have a horse named 'Wicked'. I did, however, look back - and was satisfied that I must have told her something right because she was still on the horse, and she was galloping along. I, however, did not take into account that her eyes were now as big as platters and she was bouncing up and down on the horse like a ball, and that she was flailing her arms all over the place in an effort to stay on and keep up with me (all of which were not her choice unfortunately).

We were out in the meadows and I decided to take one of the beautiful curving paths - I was convinced now she would fall in love with horseback riding just like I had - when she saw the beautiful fall-time meadows and rode like the wind, she would be in horse heaven so to speak and we would be here all the time! I was so jazzed - I looked back to wave my arms as if to embrace all the beauty around us but when I looked back, I didn't see someone who looked all that enthralled. In fact, I didn't see Vicki in the saddle at all.

Actually, Vicki was in the saddle after all - but the problem seemed to be that the saddle was sliding sideways on the horse. In retrospect, it seemed that the horse had bloated up while they were cinching his saddle on and upon exhaling while we were galloping - bad news for Vicki! At first, she was almost on top of the horse, but then as I watched in absolute horror, she was now riding sidesaddle - or on a saddle that was sideways on the horse.

She opened her mouth to scream or yell - or most probably say something very well deserved on my part as to the stupidity of this exercise when she just kept on going. The saddle kept slipping and pretty soon, unable to hold on any longer, my wonderful friend Vicki disappeared as she dropped off in a lump into the tumbleweeds and the horse ran on - with the saddle now down on his underside. He galloped off into the sunset - mission accomplished!

I was afraid to turn back - I was afraid not to! What if my poor friend was mangled and in a million pieces in the bushes? What if she'd broken something? What if she hated me and never wanted anything to do with me again? Of course, I did the honorable thing and spurred my horse to the place where I'd seen her pitch into the weeds, and just as I did so, up she popped. She was walking bless her heart - her glasses were on totally crooked and she had huge pieces of tumbleweed stuck to her hair, stuck to her clothes - everywhere!

She was muttering - I had to get closer to hear - she was saying something about what kind of stupid idiotic person goes horseback riding? What kind of stupid idiotic person believes this is a fun thing to do when they could have just been home reading or watching TV? What kind of a stupid idiotic person wants to do this? Thankfully, she wasn't asking what kind of a stupid idiotic person wants to have a friend who happens to be crazy?

I offered to boost Vicki up onto my horse and get her safely back to the stable but surprisingly, she did not want to have anything to do with another horse. She told me very politely that she'd just limp on back to the stable and wait for me there - could I possibly go and retrieve the horse for her though? Huge sigh - of course I could.

So I rode off into the sunset and found her horse, tethered it to my horse, and for once quietly rode back to the stable, where I found Vicki sitting on the bench just patiently waiting for me. She very politely told me that riding just didn't appear to be her 'thing' and would I mind terribly riding without her? I actually didn't have the heart to continue but she insisted that since I'd paid, I should go ahead and ride. The stable was very nice and refunded her money since I think she was on the horse all of 5 minutes!

I remember galloping about - after asking Vicki over and over if I should continue - and reflecting on how riding a horse could be a wonderful release, but that more importantly, having such a good friend was a far greater thing to have in my life. When I returned, Vicki was fully recuperated from her 'adventure' and we laughed and chatted all the way home. Lucky for me, it did not hurt our friendship and although she never went with me again, she laughed about it and took a good deal of teasing about it in her typical gentle way.

Most importantly, we remained friends. Even though we lost touch for several decades as I never went back for reunions, we connected again and it was like we'd always been friends. This hub is dedicated to my terrific friend, Vicki and all the many good times we've shared - then and now! Even if we live far apart, we still enjoy each other's friendship - although Vicki says now that she doesn't remember her wild horse ride! Who can blame her? I'm just so grateful she wasn't hurt!

Later in Life

I never forgot my love of horses after high school. It was a while before I was able to go riding again but one summer, I visited an old grade school chum. She just happened to have a horse across the street that was untamed and of course, who volunteered to ride bareback? You guessed it.

I spent the better part of a week riding this horse, being scraped off on the barn, being scraped off on the corral, and finally being thrown head over mane to the ground when the horse stopped. I was bucked off more than I was on - and I had a raw behind by the time I went home a week later. But I have to say - it was one of the best weeks of my life. I had a blast! My poor friend Jeanne probably did not see the upside of this, however. We did a lot together and spent a lot of time at the beach, etc. but she knew my heart was always with the horse.

A few months later, I entered a barrel racing contest with some friends - and almost won it. I seemed to get the knack of it quite easily - and my horse was fantastic. We had the best time running - although this was a charity event and we had to do it with a whole uncooked egg in our mouth! Just as I galloped over the finish line with my winning time intact, my horse stomped down and gulp went the egg. But it was a kick!

Further down the road a bit, I met Bob - the love of my life. We were dating and in an effort to please me, he agreed to go horseback riding. He did not want to go horseback riding and he made this quite clear. He had been in Vietnam twice, but he frankly was not enamored of horses because they were huge and they had hooves - they could kick a guy when he was not looking as he put it - or throw him from here to kingdom come in a flash. Ah, but so like the people who have loved me, he did it for me.

Off we went to the same stables I had always gone to in high school. And again, in marched Ms. Audrey Horsewoman and asked for the meanest, fastest, wildest horse they had. This time not to burn off anxiety or feel free, but just for the sheer love of horses. By this time, I just loved to ride and to ride at a full out gallop. Poor Bob - he did much as Vick had done - asked for the slowest nag they had and proceeded to sigh all the way through getting up into the saddle. He looked at me endearingly as if to say 'Are you sure we have to do this? I love you but COME ON!'

Well, off we went. If anything, I had learned from my experience with Vicki not to spur my horse into a gallop and expect Bob to follow me. I spent some time walking patiently with him, showing him what to do and how to turn the horse, etc. However, he wasn't really paying that much attention to me and he was getting frustrated with my 'instructions'. Finally he said none to cheerfully 'Go on - go ride - I can do this! What do I look like, an idiot?' Well, okay - if that's how you want to be about it, it didn't take me long to go into 'wild gear' and go galloping off across the meadows.

After I'd been riding a while and needing to cool down the horse before I headed back to the stable, I started to scan the horizon looking for kemo sabe (that made me Tonto of course). I looked and looked where I thought he should be but no Bob. Then I started to scan upwards towards the hills although I couldn't really imagine him galloping up into the hills since he didn't seem like he was that enthralled! Up next to a very large water tank up on stilts, high on a gentle hill, I discovered the love of my life. He was still on horseback but he was trying desperately to kick his horse and get it to move - as in quickly! (Now he decides he wants quick)

I quickly galloped within range of him so I could shout out to him 'Are you okay?' I got the look that would kill - even from that distance I could see the scowl - I could almost hear the swearing that he was undoubtedly doing - at least in his head. He was having a devil of a time getting this horse to even move - it was quite fixated with something on the ground it seemed! It wasn't after the grass and wasn't trying to graze or anything - it just simply did not want to leave.

Finally, after many minutes, and many kicks I might add to the poor horse, here he came - trotting very unnaturally in the saddle down the little rise to join me. He was furious! I couldn't believe it - what the heck could I have possibly done (other than suggest this marvelous outing) to warrant such behavior? Well, I found out pretty fast!

'I really hope you are totally happy - I have never been so GD!@ embarrassed in my entire freaking life!' I was really astounded - 'Because you were riding a horse? Good grief, Bob - people ride horses all the time - what's the big deal?'

'Well, if you want to know Little Ms. Annie Oakley - I guess not EVERYONE rides up on a couple doing it in the grass! Are you satisfied now?? I couldn't even get the damn horse to LEAVE - it was like it wanted to stay and watch the show!'

I maintain to this day - none of it was my fault - and it certainly was NOT my fault that a certain Navy man could not even get his horse in hand so to speak to get him to move out of the area. It was also not my fault that that couple had the great idea of making out and having sex under the water tower! And if a certain person had listened to my very detailed instructions on how to handle a horse....well, we can only surmise how it would have turned out.

After he calmed down and as we walked our horses back to the stable I said very casually (knowing he was past his mad) 'So...what did you say by the way when you galloped up on these poor people?' It really would have been tricky to think of something. He shrugged, embarrassed all over again and said 'Oh - you know - something like so how's it going?' I was laughing myself sick of course by now and was wondering if that killed the moment for them to be honest! What do you say to a naked couple when you happen to ride upon them on horseback? I guess 'Have you seen Tonto go by here?' would have been really lame!


Summing It Up

I haven't been on a horse in years - I dream about galloping across a field many times - my malamutes running full speed beside me.  Of course, it is in a fenced meadow! No trusting malamutes! 

I did go riding one more time with Bob - he did not go because of me but rather because of some friends who had the brilliantly wonderful idea of going to a horse ranch as a day trip.  We rode the hills and had a fantastic dinner afterward.  It could only have been better if we had stayed overnight in the cabins and ridden for several days.  Lucky for Bob, we had not come prepared to stay.

At any rate, we saddled up (I saw Bob shaking his head) and off we went.  Only nowadays, you are only allowed 'designated' gallops so there was no free spirited galloping across the meadows for me.  Still, it was very beautiful climbing the trails and looking out over canyons and rivers - beautiful scenery - and feeling the horse beneath me, smelling leather and horse.  Bob was riding in front of me and I became obsessed with laughing at his riding 'technique'.  This is why God got me back - because I had the nerve to laugh at my darling husband and his butt waddling side to side in the saddle.

He turned around and gave me the glare - and said very pointedly 'Quit laughing at me!'  I of course tried to sober up and be good - this is a lost cause I'm afraid.  About this time, my girlfriend pointed out to me that my cinch had come undone.  Remembering Vicki's fateful ride because of a cinch problem, I immediately was seized with panic and bent over to check the saddle myself - all the while continuing to ride. 

Too bad my friend didn't happen to mention that there was a tree approaching - nor did my charming husband who was still ticked at me about the giggling.  Of course, in retrospect, he didn't really know what I was doing so he was off the hook.  At any rate, about the time that I sat up straight in the saddle, a very large, pointed branch came into my very immediate view, and proceeded to jab me in 2 perfect fang-marks - right in the forehead! 

The phrase 'You'll shoot your eye out' immediately came to mind - I shrieked out a very colorful swear word which echoed all over the canyon - and definitely got my husband's attention as he whirled around so fast in his saddle that he almost fell out.  'Are you out of your mind swearing like that?' he bellowed.  My retort of course was totally refined 'Look at my bleeding forehead you moron - does this justify a little swearing - it was only ONE word!' 

Of course, the entire string of horses had to stop then - and the guide had to get a bandage for my forehead - just call me Flicka with my new big star!  They were all torn between being concerned and laughing like loons at my new 'look' - most especially my so called best friend!

So there you have it - tales of the horse.  I would not have changed a moment of it all though to tell the truth.  This one's for you, Vick! Sure you don't want to come here to redneck country and saddle up?  I might not be as spry as I once was, but I bet I could still get up to a gallop - though I might wear a helmet nowadays!

We Could Try This, Vick!

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Comments 45 comments

akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Thanks supercibor for the read - I love horses but I think maybe I had a bit of a craziness about me that didn't realize how powerful they really were!


supercibor profile image

supercibor 5 years ago from Dominican Republic

I will never forget riding a horse that kept runnin and running and could stop her.

The horse just went to the stable stopped there and let me unmount. I think he knew he was giving me the ride of my life and she was the real boss.

Great hub !


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

I totally agree, Dolores - I have such passion for many things and it seems that I end up on the Lucille Ball end of them MOST of the time but then in some cases, I have been spared permanent bodily injury and somehow managed to skate free with my passion intact....not so my poor friends!

I have many more stories to tell - and some of them about the water - I always felt pretty confident in water but then it seemed that water was NOT my best friend! At least I didn't drag anyone else along the path to destruction with me!

Thanks so much for stopping by and for your great comment. I truly do approach most things and give myself over to them wholeheartedly!


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 6 years ago from East Coast, United States

Audrey - great story! I think that when we love something, as you loved horse back riding, we want to share our joy with the people we love.

A few years ago, I tired to teach a friend of mine to body surf. He was not paying attention to the rules, then said that I made body surfing sound like religion. He wound up hurting himself. But my point is that when we experience that intense joy (so often tangled up with nature, like horses or the ocean) it becomes almost a spiritual thing.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Thanks, SG! Coming from you that is very high praise. Poor Bob - I'm always leading him down the path of something...ah well, it keeps us young at heart. And yes, my good friend Vicki (aka Sagebrush Annie) is a dear to have put up with all my antics!


SilverGenes 6 years ago

This was just great and when you got to the part about poor Bob and the couple at the water tower, well I just lost it! I'm still laughing!!! And Vicki has to be the best friend ever - sagebrush in her hair? You have a spirit of adventure that shows in your writing, too! Fantastic! Funny! Brilliant!


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Thanks despereaux - I truly do love animals and no matter what happens, I always will! Thanks so much for dropping in to comment.


despereaux profile image

despereaux 6 years ago from Madison, WI

Thank you, I really enjoyed it. I often contemplate the bond between humans and horses and especially, humans and dogs. Where would we be were it not for them? Still living in caves I suspect.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Thanks, Katie for commenting - yes, I do have a bit of a spirit for sure! I am a 'dive in and do it kinda' person although back then, I was a wild thing who was just so mixed up I think I needed to free my spirit! I am truly very lucky nothing serious ever happened to me though.


katiem2 profile image

katiem2 6 years ago from I'm outta here

I now know a lot more about your spirit. I'm a lot like that Oh what the hea go for it and learn as you go... You are lucky you didn't get hurt really badly, you must have had the poor dear in a fright. Plus, you def have a special angel watching over you. Great story. :)


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Thank you Prasetio - it is very easy to write as my life has been a bit of a circus at times! I do love remembering the funnier times in my life and this was definitely an example of a couple of them -but love my dear friend Vicki for putting up with me!


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

I love this hub very much. Another great hub from you. I really enjoy your story from word by word, very well written. Good job, my friend. I vote this Up.

Prasetio


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

I hope my a** isn't all over the world, but I know what ya mean! You, too Charlie.....glad your hubs are back as you were worrying me there for a spell and a lot of folks were asking where you were! Virtual hugs and kisses coming your way! I'd say from Bob too, but he doesn't play for the other team!


ralwus 6 years ago

bless your sweet a** all over the world dear Audrey. x Bob too.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Thanks calicoaster - I'm not sure why I love them so much (or the malamutes/dogs in general) but it is a wonderful 'gift' - to me! Thanks for commenting.


calicoaster profile image

calicoaster 6 years ago

Gosh!! This story is really cool. You are lucky to have so good friends! And, it is so amazing the way you gel so well with the horses. Looks like some kind of God gift to you. Blessing!!


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

That is the coolest thing anyone has ever said about me and horses! I do love them - much as I love dogs of all kinds as well but especially mals. I seem to have a sense about them so maybe that is true with the horses! Thanks so much for stopping by and for the wonderful comment.


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4mystickitty 6 years ago

Horses are one of the most mystic animals, right next to dolphins. Horses can sense all aspects of human knowledge and emotions, much more than dogs or cats. That's why close contact with horses are so magical, intimate, and affectionate experience. They know how you feel and they want you to explore what they feel in their heart. So we can have great relationships with them. As I read your article, I felt a great emotion that you have this ability to sense the horses in this way, and that's why they are so attached to you, Akirchner.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Thanks, Pamela - I think that is one of the only things I regret about my life (thus far - you never know). I wish I had had a horse or two of my very, very own. But then I've been so blessed with so many wonderful dogs and my loving husband who let me rescue them all, I can't complain. Thanks for reading!


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

Audry, This was a really good story. I love horses but was never around them until I was an adult. We bought a horse and some ponies for the boys. It was great fun but I never became a great horse woman. I guess some have a natural gift. I enjoyed your story very much.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Nell - Now I should have tried to get up on that first horse and presented it that way! Why didn't I think of it? I would have loved lessons - I probably would be a horsewoman now if I'd had a few! Thanks so much for commenting.

Crewman6 - Glad to help out. I love to tell my funniest stories because it brings back lots of happy memories - laughing! It does just seem like it all happened yesterday. Thanks so much for reading.


Crewman6 profile image

Crewman6 6 years ago

As always - you tickle my funny bone... and touched me with the tale of good friends through the years. Great job!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England

Hi, Audrey, poor Bob gets it every time! lol I always wanted to ride a horse, and the only time I came close to getting lessons was when my friend had one. I remember the day when we walked to my house and I knocked on the front door so my mum would let me in, she peered through the window to see who it was, and all she could see was this horse staring at her! lol she nearly had a heart attack on the spot! very funny, cheers nell


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Thanks for stopping by, Faye - I'm not sure I'm a horse person per se but I sure love them! I think I'm an animal nut though in general - or maybe that's just a nut!


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 6 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

Thank you for a very exciting story , I'm not a horse person, but it does look like it's fun.Thank you for sharing. Godspeed. creativeone59


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Thanks for stopping by, jjexon and for commenting.


jjexon profile image

jjexon 6 years ago

Nice Story


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Good grief - that sounds a little TOO exciting even for me! I will try and remember that!!! Although in my case, most things just kinda sorta 'happen' to me whether I want them to or not.


raisingme profile image

raisingme 6 years ago from Fraser Valley, British Columbia

Just don't go riding one in the bush. They get a fallen branch or a stick between their legs and it throws them of gait such that you will think you are sitting atop an eggbeater!


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

What a great idea! I wonder if they have them here in Central Oregon. Will have to check it out. Thanks so much for stopping by and for commenting!


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raisingme 6 years ago from Fraser Valley, British Columbia

I grew up with horses and was fortunate enough that they were a short distance from the mud room door to the stable door and therefore close at hand for loads of adventures. If you are considering saddling up again all these years later, try a Tennessee Walking Horse - smoothest ride ever without losing an ounce of freedom n' you won't even feel like your bones are old! Enjoyed the stories of your adventures and your friendship.


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akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Micky - That's coming dangerously close to sounding like something that would only happen to me! Thanks for reading!


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Micky Dee 6 years ago

Good for you! My last ride on a horse was with one jackass of a horse that took me into his low ceiling barn and worked me over in there. Then it went out of the door bucking and I hit my head on on the jamb going out. So the jackass of a horse drug me with one foot in the stirrup until it got tired!


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akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Sally's Trove - thanks so much for reading - and yes, you are most probably right! Between the horse galloping and then my other 'antics' like urban mushing, soccer for old ladies, etc. I certainly do a lot of crazy things!


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Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

I am Vicki, and I wouldn't get near that "krossbow", not to save my life. Girl, you are lucky to be alive. Yeah, and your friends, too. Super read!


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akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

HH - You are more than welcome - my friend Vick says it is her 15 minutes of fame....bless her heart, I could have killed her! I am fortunate - then and now to have such good, good friends and someone to read my ramblings. Thanks for stopping by! Go Spain!!


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Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

Oh, this was a good read. Subject to my heart. I love horses but never had a chance to ride one. The very smell of them gets my blood going. Thank you for a wonderful joy and laugh.


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akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

GL Strout - Thanks so much for stopping by and I am not sure I grew up on horses but I certainly grew up in many ways. I surely loved them and still do. Glad to bring back fond memories.

Holle - I know you love horses, too - I was just a wild thing on horseback - kinda like in life I guess then too. I do miss riding like that though to tell the truth although I sometimes shudder to think what could have happened to me!

De Greek - There are LESSONS? OMG!! Where have I been? I know - I am lucky in many ways that I made it to the ripe old age of 56+ relatively unscathed. I just had a draw to horses and I handled it in my usual Audrey fashion - don't think about it- just do it! Kinda sorta like the roller blading with an 90-some pound malamute. Who knew you could go from 0-60 in 5 seconds? Thanks so much for your witty banter as always! Too bad I didn't have a knowledgeable horsie friend!


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habee 6 years ago from Georgia

Buckie, I loved this! I'm tellin ya, we be twins! I was horse crazy for years!


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De Greek 6 years ago from UK

All I can say, Tonto, is that you are the luckiest rider alive. Tightening the cinch AGAIN, but AFTER you get on the horse is the first thing a rider learns, as the horse will exhale after you get on EVERY TIME, you insane person!!! :-)))). You did not bother to learn the basics and you are really lucky not to have been killed. Like you, I was born with a love of horses which I cannot explain and after A LOT OF LESSONS I bought my own a horse, so I know a little about riding :-)))

And I still nearly got killed and if you want to, you can see how here

http://hubpages.com/literature/Second-Life-Alergie


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G L Strout 6 years ago from Ohio, USA

What a warm fuzzy! I too grew up on horses and this article brought back many great memories. Thank you for sharing.


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akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Charlie - you are a darlin' - and yes, indeed, it is most fun being me. It is the only person I know how to be, good, bad and the ugly! I do tend to have a wonderful romp through life no matter what comes my way and for that I am most grateful!

Rkhyclak - I hear you - it possibly could be 10-15 years since my last 'incident'. We now live in horse country and I sigh every time I see one and think of myself riding like a crazy person across meadows and up hills. I truly do miss it! Thanks so much for stopping in.

Cousin Fudd - too hilarious on the name! Love it. Thanks for stopping in!


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Cousin Fudd 6 years ago from From the Blue Ridge Mountains of Western North Carolina

Great hub


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rkhyclak 6 years ago from Ohio

Lovely hub! I love horses as well, but do not get to ride nearly as often as I should like. I had a friend growing up who had a horse farm and we rode often back then...but that was nearly 20 years ago. I don't remember when I rode last. I did, however, have my daughter on a horse when she was just 5 months old...figured I'd start her early :) rated up-it brought back memories for me too


ralwus 6 years ago

I do love how you spin a yarn. There were other things I wanted to say, but by the time I got finished, phffft gone in the wind. It must be a lot of fun being you.

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