Final Night


When they spoke of her,

he held on tightly to the rail,

she was much thinner

then he remembered,

and very pale,

with a moist gleam

about her face that suggested fever,

her past was history,

so it would seem,

her future a mystery,

that only God could solve,

and she never fulfilled a single dream,

her skin was dry and thin,

as he fought back the cries,

and looked into her sick,

tortured eyes,

all of his focus just tips,

as the right words

evaporated from his lips,

her situation bleak,

and it was too painful

for her speak,

she moved, but she was very weak,

her voice was mild,

she was his mother,

and he was her child,

her ghost was heard,

and death was imminent,

as he hungered after her every word,

although she was losing the fight,

her memories were keen,

holding his hand close and tight,

reluctant to say this was her final night.

© 2011 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 26 comments

Senoritaa profile image

Senoritaa 4 years ago

Touching! Could feel every word speak about the selfless bond between mother and son.


Sky9106 profile image

Sky9106 4 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

Ok Ok I don't know how to imitate a shiver on here . But I felt a shiver. Something tells me that you are back and taking off even further that where you left off.

Great work Frank!

Bless.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks for the wonderful comment senoritaa.. and Sky good to see you again, my friend :)


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 4 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

Frank, tears are on my cheeks because this describes my Father and I the night before he passed away. It is beautiful testament to love.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Im so sorry H.. bless you


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 4 years ago from California

Losing someone is never beautiful but the way your words collided was very beautiful Frank!

smiles :)

bella


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much Bella :) frank


writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

wonderful sad poem, voted up and beautiful.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much writer20 :) happy new year to you


phdast7 profile image

phdast7 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

I know you know this, but you write extremely well. What can I add that others haven't said? I didn't feel there was a single word out of place, not one too many and not one missing.

Usually, when I read poetry, sometimes prose as well, I often find myself silently inserting or deleting a word here or there. I didn't do that with your poem, but then you probably knew what I meant.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Oh Frank her final night.. so sad.. I take it she is going to die... this touched me so.. this is so perfect.. Mr.Frank you are a master at this.

I voted up and awesome

Debbie


Harpers Grace profile image

Harpers Grace 4 years ago

This is beautiful...just beautiful.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much for reading Ph.. and you too Our Ms Brooks and Harpers Grace..thanks you all :)


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

Beautifully done Frank!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Audrey


Molly Lance profile image

Molly Lance 4 years ago

The feelings you speek of i know so well, the loss is so strange and unreal.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Thanks for the comment Molly Lance


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

A brilliant read and I must vote up up and away for this gem.

Here's to so many more to share right now and in the brand New Year to come.

Take care my friend,and enjoy your day.

Eddy.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Thanks Eiddwen


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Frank

Beautiful and heartwrenching. This one touched my heart.

Voted up and away


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Sue thank you soo much :)


sofs profile image

sofs 4 years ago

Touching! Frank you are so good with this.. you speak the language of poetry. Thank you for sharing this poem. Have a great weekend. God Bless!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks sofs..:) you too


phdast7 profile image

phdast7 3 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Beautifully and emotionally well done Frank. Really, really like this.


wayne barrett profile image

wayne barrett 3 years ago from Clearwater Florida

This was hard to read, not because of your writing but because of recent events in my family. Great piece Frank.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you Phdast7 and thank you wayne barret bless you both :)

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