Founder of Carbons Creek-Pioneer fictional Short Short Stories

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Our town of Carbon’s Creek was started by a pioneer cattleman name of Mendel Linwood who came to buy horses and cattle. Sarah, the young woman thet puts out our weekly paper, knowed quite a bit ‘bout our town even ‘fore she moved here. That’s cause she’ herited ‘et from her uncle Jake, who was murdered. Anyways she, Sarah that is, wanted ta know ‘bout way back ‘fore the war. That be the civil War. So’s I tell her ‘bout how Mendel Linwood come here when they wasn’t anything ‘round but a few Indians and some trappers.

He come from the east somewheres and had saved a bit of money. He thought he’d come and buy some horses. He’d also larned ‘bout them longhorn cattle which had got driven up here from Texas to fatten up ‘fore gonin’ on to Chicago town. He did buy a few of both but he decided to stay around, bought him some land and started breedin’ cattle and horses. He hired a few of the Indians that had escaped President Jackson’s removal plan. They turned out to be pretty good cowboys.

‘Twasn’t long ‘fore he got into some other stuff like millin’. With flour to sell and trading with both the Indians and the whites he started a tradin’ post. He set it up by the mill, which was on the creek, which he started callin, Carson Creek cause of his admiration for Kit Carson. The U.S Guvment come along an’ made him Postmaster ‘cause he had the tradin’ post. Than he put in to have the town named Carson Creek but the post office assigned the name Carbons Creek. Ain’t thet jus’ like the guvment?

Wahl old Mendel was doin’ pretty good fer hisself with the town and mill. His horse herd was doin’ good an’ so was the Longhorns. Sometime along than I drifted into town lookin’ fer work and he hires me as a wrangler.

Trouble

Maybe things was goin’ too good. I heard rumbin’s in town and elsewhere’s of a powerful lot ‘a jealousy amongst some folks. There’s them aroun’ thet like to see a rich man take a fall. Them’s the kind that won’t stand up for what’s right when the chips is down. There was the other kind too. Them’s the ones that don’t got anythin’ personal against a man but just want to take what he’s got.

Pretty soon cattle and horses went missin’. Me an’ the other hands started ridin’ extra shifts. The thievery was bad enough but then vandalism started in. The barn caught fire. Was it set? Bet odds it was. We saved the horses but it took a week to repair the damage and we was getting’ shorthanded. Lots of cowboy’s moved on. Didn’ want no part of whatever was buildin’ up’

Next thing happen was a herd run off. Much more an’ the boss man might have trouble holdin’ it together.

Ambush

I had been gittin’ pretty friendly with the Indians and was friends with Chief Red Eagle who is about my age an’ still my friend. We both knew that Mr. Linwood’s business had been good for the local Indians. He always helped the Indians when there was scarce hunting and trading by givin’ them credit. He knew they would be shamed by given’ handouts so he had ways they could pay for what they got.. He gave jobs to many in the tribe and occasional cow to take for food when needed. Now the tribe was ready to help him.

Some young bucks went out around the area to spot sign of the rustlers and some who knew English overheard the plans being made for a large raid. The rustlers planned to set fire to the main house as a distraction to keep the hands busy, then gather up and scatter the horses and then steal the cattle.

We posted some hands by the house who would stop the fire before it got a good start. We decided to let the rustlers get a start on the rest of their plan. We could round up he horses later. But when they got a mile or so running the herd they were in for a surprise. It might have been the only Indian attack near Carbons Creek in a decade or two, but them rustlers were sure surprised to see Warriors with war bonnets and paint on their faces and bodies. Well-placed arrows stopped a few that tried to fight the Indians.

We really didn’t have a local sheriff yet so the prisoner’s had to stay with the Indians until a proper lawman arrived to take custody.

So’s thet’s how a unlikely pioneer came to buy horses and cattle and founded the town of Carbons Creek.

© 2011 Don A. Hoglund

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Comments 40 comments

prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 5 years ago from malang-indonesia

Brilliant hub, very well written and I really enjoy your short story. Thanks for share with us. Well done, brother. Rated up as always. Cheers...

Blessing and hugs, prasetio


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

Thank you very much for the praise and rating.Some readers wanted me to continue writing in the dialect of the narrator so I am trying to accommodate.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 5 years ago from Sunny Florida

Interesting story. I liked the way you used the vernacular of the day while telling the story. Rated up and awesome.


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

Thanks for the comment and the rating. What started out as one story turned into a series. It is stretching my imagination a bit.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

Thank you dahoglund, for a great story, thank you for sharing it. Godspeed. creativeone59


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

Thank you for reading it and commenting.Take care.


Sophia Angelique 5 years ago

Hi Daho. I can definitely see the storytelling voice over here. It's also a good story. What I find distracting is the bad grammar. I know you used it intentionally because that's not the way you write in your serious hubs.

I think it needs to be toned down only to what people are actually saying to each other. For instance, "He come from the east somewheres" would read better as "He came from somewhere in the east." Also, is there any reason to spell government 'guvment?"

This is my personal opinion, of course. Others might find it adds to the charm of the story.


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

Thank you for you observations. I created this character as the narrator several stories ago. I had not really intended to continue with it but some readers seemed to like it.Since he is the narrator telling the story, I am telling it through his voice and not through dialogue.

The comment above by KoffeKlatch Gals is typical of the kind of comments I've gotten. Actually I find it a challenge to stay "in character."

I am glad for your opinion and appreciate the advice but I am a bit committed to this old cowboy.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

Hi Dahoglund! I actually like the way the narration flows. I am reading/seeing things from the perspective of the narrator. It is great. I felt like I was in Carbons Creek. Voted up, up and away!!


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

Hi Dexter. Thanks for the input. Different people react differently. I grandson who got out of high school about a year ago told me he doesn't like Mark Twain because Twain writes in bad English.


Becky 5 years ago

I love this series. Something that might help us who are looking for them is to write a hub with links to them. It would make them easier to find.


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

Thanks for the comment. I am glad you like the series. I will work on the problem of linking them. I did put some links on this page. I will have to get better organized on these things.


Sophia Angelique 5 years ago

Daho, the story works anyway, Daho. The voice of the writer is strong and the character is charming. I suppose I was also thinking of editorial policy in publishing houses. I worked for a number of years as a freelance editor for two publishing houses in London. However, conventions might be changing. They always do. :)


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

Sophia, I admit that I am feeling my way on these stories.Some folks are still upset with Mark Twain and his first person use in Huck Finn.And Twain had a much better ear for dialect than I do. Hubpages may be penalizing me for the grammar and spelling, judging from my hub score.However, as long as some fans want the stories I try to accommodate them.

I truly appreciate your advice and concern. After twenty years of working and writing and editing for the government it is lucky I am not writing in government style.


Sophia Angelique 5 years ago

Daho, HP's score is 100% commercial and has nothing whatsoever to do with whether your writing is any good or not. I'm pretty sure their score is based on a combination of factors with first place going to the commercial value of the keywords.

Short stories do not do well on the web commercially. However, ebooks are doing well, and free ebooks are doing even better. I just bunched together a bunch of my short stories written through the years and I'm happily surprised that I've got more downloads for them in a few days that I've had for my short stories at HP and elsewhere.

Why don't you do the same? Bundle them and put them in book form. If you need any help, I'd be happy to answer your questions. I think I'm also about to write a hub on how to make a hub cover for free.

The responses to your stories in terms of an ebook will be a more accurate reflection than anything you publish on website.

Here's a link to mine.

http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/MiladyTess


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

Thanks, Sophia. I am not sure that I have enough stories right now to fill a book. The idea is interesting. I'll have to learn more about ebooks.The only ones I have run across have been from people promting some sort of scheme for getting rich.

I'm sure I will seek your help. thanks again.


Ginn Navarre profile image

Ginn Navarre 5 years ago

Loved it! The best part is that you used the dialog and grammer of the era and this is what so many writers and editors of today fail at.

I grew up on a ranch in Arizona and this was and still is how many folks talked.

Remember the publishing world has changed--audio books are IN and paper books are sitting on the shelfs. You can record and be the narrator and make all your wonderful stories come to a new LIFE.


Sophia Angelique 5 years ago

Daho. I published 10 stories. Other people just publish one story at a time. With ebooks, they can be any length. You're a bit behind on your ebook knowledge. At this point, some main stream authors are dumping their publishers and beginning to self-publish their ebooks. This appeared on bbc.com today.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-13853...


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

Ginn

If the dialog and grammer are convincing, I'll feel I accomplished something. I have not spent much time in the west (although in that day the mid-west probaly was the west. I am a city bred boy. I have worked with people from across the country though.

I am being given a lot of ideas as to how to publish.

I appreciate your input.Take care.


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

Sophia, I know little about ebooks except that they eist and are electronic. I know I have a lot of catching up to do. I am not much around other writers or even readers.

Anyhow, I will have to learn more.

Thanks again for your interest and support.


Sa`ge profile image

Sa`ge 5 years ago from Barefoot Island

Loved the short and the dialect was tingly to the mind. you got me dancing on my toes hopping on some clouds. Thank you :) hugs :)


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

Since it all started as an experiment in storytelling I am glad for the comments.Thank you for reading it.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

That's as true a tale as I ever heard and a right good one too! I love the way you bind all this together and keep expanding that world, DA. WB


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

I think Carbons Creek has a mind of its own. I wonder what happens next.

I appreciate your comments.


Becky 5 years ago

I agree with Sophia Angelique about your stories. Grab the ones you have of this series, put them in chronological order and get them into an ebook. I would get it to re-read. I have gotten stories on Amazon by Mercedes Lackey, who is a well-known sci-fi author. Some of them are just 20-25 pages long. Short stories can go on their own but the short-short stories like yours would do well with several together.


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

I am looking into the ebook publishing and will do it as soon as I learn a bit more about it. Thanks for your interest.


Reynold Jay profile image

Reynold Jay 5 years ago from Saginaw, Michigan

You may have read my HUB "The Carrot and the KINDLE" and plan to use it as a resource when you decide to sell the stories in an ebook. Never a rush of course to publish as it will take time to accumulate a satisfactory amount of material--probably 40,000 words or more would do it. It is said it you use proper grammer as a fiction writer, you'll never get anyone to read it! Destroying the English language is at the top of the list for getting read. Well done.


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

I will look up your hub. I am trying to get a handle on the publishers requirements.Thanks for commenting.


Reynold Jay profile image

Reynold Jay 5 years ago from Saginaw, Michigan

Write me if you have any questions..Step one is to place everything on ONE page! Yep --the entire books goes on one page.


Carolyn Moe profile image

Carolyn Moe 5 years ago

Fun to have an expanding tale... leaving little blurbs at the beginning to keep readers abreast... seems to be what I'm doing... thanks for following, Carolyn.


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

Reynold Jay,

Thanks I probably will.

Carolyn Moe

Thanks for commenting and following me.Although the stories are interrelated I am trying to make stories that will stand on their own whether on has read the others or not.


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

It is skillful to use the language used back then and adds to the tale. What goes around comes around is the obvious moral and you have created another short story with not one wasted word. In fact the only two wasted words, if you had chosen to use them would have been, the end. Cheers.


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

I appreciate your comment.I guess that the short-short story has the advantage of making the writer tell the story without much in the way of frills.


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

No room for frills and you applied that discipline well. Cheers


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

Thank you.


Ghost32 5 years ago

Huh! Got a friend named Red Eagle. Don't believe he's any kind of Chief, but he is a Vietnam vet and a mighty fine tattoo artist.

The bit on how Carbons Creek got its name is right on target. Kind of like the legends about how the name of Enid, Oklahoma, came to be. One version is that a "DINE" sign over a local cafe got hung upside down--whether deliberately or whether alcohol was involved, nobody said--and of course wound up spelling "ENID".


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

I hope you or your friend are not offended.I already got grieve from a reader about using a deaf character.

I wrote some non-fiction hubs about towns and names. Quite a few have arbitrary names and often the Post Office was in charge of assigning names. My favorite is St. Paul, Minnesota that was previously named after an early settler with the nickname of Pigs Eye.

Thanks for your comments.


Becky 5 years ago

I just noticed you said you don't know anything about ebooks. Go to amazon.com, download their free Kindle app for computer, go to Kindle books. Search for free Kindle books,find one and download it to your Kindle app. It is really easy to do and has good directions. Then you will have an idea about what you can do with them. They also have a tutorial on publishing. Maybe this will help you find out what you need to know. Pre-1932 books have the copyright out of date and you can get a lot of classics.


handymanbill profile image

handymanbill 24 months ago from western pennsylvania

Great short story. I will have to read some more of them.


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 24 months ago from Wisconsin Rapids Author

Thanks Bill. I appreciate your comment and hope you do read more of them and enjoy them

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