Hi, I am Tony the freelance writer, I was given this name because of my passion for freelance writing. I seem to live and breath writing. Having spent many hours on the internet putting my name on every freelance writing site that I could find, I then started to leave my email address on all the sites that I could find on specialist writing projects for freelance writers. The most interesting one I found was a site that asked for people who could interview someone at the drop of a hat. The site was called, Interviews with the Weird and Wonderful.com. And the only requirement was that anyone who joined the site should have an open mind. Because there would soon be some very unusual people to interview.
The only problem was I couldn't stop telling everyone that I met what I was up to. It now seems that I have bored everyone to death with my antics, they just weren't that interested in me and my writing. So when my nickname changed from a derogatory remark behind my back to an up front remark to my face. I just knew I wasn't given that nickname out of admiration for my writing skills. It was when I started to introduce myself to everyone I met, even strangers as, Tony the freelance writer, that clinched the deal. So it sort of went from there's that twat who calls himself, Tony the freelance writer, to just, Tony the freelance writer, Lucky me, eh! The power of the local pub is quite amazing really.
One night I was sitting at my computer trawling for new writing sites. When I heard the sound of an email notification, ding, ding, you have mail, it was from Interviews with the Weird and Wonderful.com. Well I put down my coffee, even though it had my favourite tot of whisky in it. I opened my email and read it, and it just said, you are invited to an interview with a Vampire. I just had to laugh to myself, the thought of interviewing a Vampire through the internet. I sent a reply straight away asking where and when? There was no immediate reply so I finished off my coffee and logged off the computer. Tomorrow will be soon enough, I thought as I lay in bed. After that, all I could think was, isn't freelance writing great, as I drifted off to sleep.
The first thing I did when I woke up was to head for my computer to check my emails. Tell a lie, I made myself a nice cup of coffee, no whisky this time. Meet me at St Moragons church yard by the fallen angel was the reply to the email I had sent last night. It was very specific and time bound. Tonight at 11.55pm on the dot at St Moragons church yard.... come on your own, it signed
It was 11.30pm and I was due to meet the "Vampire" at 11.55pm, plenty of time to sort myself out. I picked up my weapon of choice, my trusty pen, placing it in my lead pen holder, I put it into the inside pocket of my coat and was ready to go.
Shutting the door behind me I made my way towards the church. It was only five minutes away from my house, how convenient was that? Lifting the rusty latch on the gate I made my way into the church yard. I find it most disturbing entering churches or church yards; the proverbial hairs on the back of my neck seem to always stand on end. And tonight was no exception.
While I had time to waste I carried out my normal health and safety checks. You never know when or if you may need to make a hasty exit. When I was happy about my potential escape route I decided to find the fallen angel. It didn't take long before I found the fallen angel. It was a very large good looking piece with its bone white marble plinth and black marble angel. It looked to me like someone had vandalised it rather than falling over by its self.
There was a nice low level gravestone just by the angel, just the right height to sit on. Sorry Joe White who died young aged twelve from typhoid, but my needs are greater than yours..... Suddenly there was a noise directly behind me. Instantly my heart rate doubled and adrenaline pumped through my veins. As I stood up panicking to get my pen out, I knew it was too late. But when I turned around all that was there were two yellow eyes starring at me, acid yellow slits hovering above the next gravestone. Relief..... As my eyes adjusted to the darker patch behind me the true outline became clear, it was just a black cat. It sniffed the cool night air, looked down its nose at me then ran away.
That was a close call; I made a mental note to be more aware of my surroundings in the future. One day I will get myself beaten up or worse, if I let my defences down like that too often.
Still in a panic about the cat I checked the time on my watch. It was 11.55pm on the dot.....
Again I heard a noise behind me, I thought the cat was back. But this time the eyes that were there in the pitch black were hovering over six foot high, not a cat. As my eyes grew accustomed to the dark patch again a shape slowly started to form. It seemed to get bigger the more it came into focus. Finally I could make out exactly what was there. I took a sharp intake of breath, as I realised it was the biggest black man I had ever seen. Not that being black was a problem; no it was just the size of the man.
I forced out a very weak hello that came out a little too high pitched for my liking. He just starred at me not saying a thing, so I just starred back at him.
Finally he growled rather than spoke,
"I've been waiting, let's get on with it! Where do you want me to start?"
I chuckled silently in my head, was this man for real, I asked myself?
"Tell me your story from when you were turned into a vampire," I said to him.
This is the story as it was told to me by a vampire.
He said that it all happened a couple of years ago when he was in the prime of his life.....
I had done well for myself by the time I was twenty five. Having a reputation for being an hard man made making money very easy. My skills as a fighter and criminal were always in demand. I would do anything from setting fire to listed buildings to breaking arms and legs. People paid me to drink in their bars or dine in their restaurants to give their business protection. No one would cause trouble while I was in the house. But I was getting too predictable, I was beginning to get sloppy. The police were getting far too close for comfort. So I had to get out of the area or it would be the slammer for me.
As luck would have it an old acquaintance rang me up out of the blue. His proposition was far too good an offer to let it pass by. He lived on a notorious estate called the, Calm Meadows estate, notorious for its lawlessness. He reckoned that there was only one obstacle in the way. That was, Tony the Greek, a big lumbering man who held several black belts in all sorts of martial arts. My mate said he would be no match for the "crusher". As I trusted his expert opinion I decided to take him up on his invitation.
The next day I met my mate in the Bell pub, the headquarters of, Tony the Greek. All his gang were already in there when I arrived. We just got ourselves a drink and sat down like we were just two old mates out for a pint.
Dead on the dot he walked through the door and sat down in his favourite chair. His gang leaders moved in next to him to give him his daily update. He liked to keep a tight ship, he knew where every penny came from and where it was going to be spent.
The plan was to let him get well into his business update so that his attention was diverted from me. I must admit he was far larger than expected. Still one of my several versions of the "crusher" would do the job. He barely had time to look up as my elbow smashed into the top of his head.
"My name is Mortigan," I shouted as my elbow crushed into his skull.
To my amazement he stood up to face me off. But "crusher two" stopped him dead in his tracks. A quick rising elbow under the chin knocked all the fight out of him. He fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes. The loyal gang just backed off and watched as I broke each of his limbs one by one with a grab and stamp technique, one of my signature moves. Well that ended "Tony the Greeks" rule. I was the king pin now. The gang just jumped sides and carried on as usual, only now they worked for me.
Two years of the high life I enjoyed before "He" came along....
Mortigan paused there, then growled,
"Why aren't you taking notes?"
"I have a photographic memory I will write it up later, carry on with your story please." He grunted then carried on with the story.
Well "HE" came along and changed my life forever, I really do mean forever.
I was having a nice quiet drink in the Bell pub when my phone rang. It was "Spineless" (name given due to the way he could shimmy through small openings) very useful for burgling houses and shops on the estate. The upshot of the call was that they had the ideal target in their sights. The only problem was that he was far too big for any of them to take on, no one would volunteer to attack first. That happened every so often, it was just routine to call me to sort it out for them. I didn't mind as I hadn't had a fight since "Tony the Greek". In fact it would be good for my reputation if he was anywhere as tasty as they thought he was.
The gang was only in the walkway behind the pub, I was there in seconds. Everyone was in position, the target was just emerging from the poorly lit section of the walkway. A nice handy mound of earth obscured me from his view, I had the advantage. He looked odd to me rather than tough. I mean how hard could someone dressed as a Goth in a long cape be?
But he did have lots of gold on his neck and wrists, too mich of it to let it pass.
As he walked into the light I came from behind the mound and stepped right in front of him.
"Well what have we here?" I asked him, but he just smiled at me.
That made me mad so I decided to give him my very best "crusher". I can still visualise it now. It was like something out of the Matrix film. It all seemed to happen in slow motion even down to the effect of the turning camera angles. He caught my descending elbow with his left hand. I remember thinking if his left hand was so strong what was his right hand like? There was no reason to worry about his strength as it soon became apparent that he was not from around here.
He grabbed my descending elbow and his right hand snaked round my waist and pulled me close to him. It felt as if his cape had come to life as it wrapped its self around me, as I said it all happened in slow motion. All went black, then it happened. I could feel his teeth sink into my neck, I had the strangest feeling of loosing something but gaining more. Through a gap in his cape I could see that we were at least thirty feet up in the air. We spun around and around in the cool dark sky. I could see my gang running in all directions trying to escape. The bunch of idiots never gave me a second thought. Finally everything went black as my life force was sucked out of me.
I woke up on top of one of the many derelict high rise flats that still remained from the old estate. He was standing over me.
"Welcome to my world, you’re training starts today," he said.
He made it clear to me over the next few hours. That I had been converted for one reason only. And that was to train to be the best killing machine ever to be released into the world.
I was a very quick learner, vampire I might be but I was still, Mortigan. I was bigger, better and even more ambitious than I was before. I knew that if I succeeded in the mission I was created for, I would get the chance to challenge him for the top job. I reckoned that if he needed me to do his dirty work. He must believe I am one hell of a tough cookie.
Which now brings me right up to date, my mission.... To kill you!
"Now wait a minute I am only here to interview you, not to be scarred out of my socks by you," I said with a chill rushing through my bones.
"I don't know what you have done to him but he wants you dead, and I am the man for the job." He growled.
All I could think to do was to some how distract his attention because he was clearly mad, probably mad enough to hurt me.
So I gave it my best shot,
"Go on then prove it to me, show me some sort of vampire trick," I asked him.
"Tell me who the hell are you?" he demanded in an exasperated voice.
I slowly took the lead pen holder from out of my pocket. Then I took out my pen and said,
"Can I just write all this down, I don't want to leave anything out." That really got him mad.
His eyes started to turn milky white just before he transformed into a vampire. It would take just two seconds for him to change, all the time I would need. With a quick flick of the wrist the wooden pen extended into an eighteen inch wooden stake. I rammed it though his heart with all the strength I could muster. His eyes turned back to human as he slowly dissolved into the ether. Not so hard now are you, I thought to myself.
As the last wisps of the dissolving vampire floated away on the cool night breeze I answered his last question,
“I am Tony Van Helsing.” I am just carrying on with my family business, if you really need to know.
Now that my job was done I headed back home. I decided that I like this freelance writing stuff. It gets me out and about and I do meet the most unusual people. I can’t wait to get my next email from Weird and Wonderful.com.
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