Frost-Bite Would Show

Flash Tales 8



He fought hard,

but he would almost fold,

his hands were cold,

his fingers aching,

he flexed them fitfully,

his body was shaking,

he felt the wind bend,

then he thought about the end,

he listened, watched, turned,

he listened again,

as the cold burned,

but it was the same,

no one came,

his legs twitched convulsively

beneath the snow,

then frost bite would show,

life would slow, and the oxygen low,

he turned slightly to shake off the worries,

but death whispered at him,

he began gasping, and grasping,

as death screamed, shattered all dreams,

and hope rushed away like streams,

it was deafening, furious,

loud and yet curious,

like the exaggerated barking

of a terrorized dog,

and finally life sailed in a cold fog.

Source

© 2015 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 47 comments

dghbrh profile image

dghbrh 23 months ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

Wonderfully tragic but you always paint a very gloomy picture that is so vivid through your words. It was as if I could feel the deadly chilling wind across my own face in those first lines. Almost was holding my breath till your last sentence and yeah....what an end there it is!!!! You are wonderful as always, Frank. Thank you for this share. Voted up interesting and shared as well.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 23 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you for stopping by dghbrh :) bless you


Jodah profile image

Jodah 23 months ago from Queensland Australia

I'm shivering as I read of this icy death Frank...very vivid imagery in this poem.


FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 23 months ago from USA

Well written and it reminded me of a tragic case up in Maine of snowmobilers who fell through the icy lake they were riding on. They weren't buried until Spring. Ground was too frozen and so were they.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 23 months ago from Southern Illinois

Frank, you my friend are a master at describing death scenes. I'm sitting in my warm computer room , but I felt the cold and his pain. voted up and shared.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 23 months ago from Olympia, WA

Here's a two-word description for you, Frank....bleakly beautiful! :)


Phyllis Doyle profile image

Phyllis Doyle 23 months ago from High desert of Nevada.

Such a cold and lonely death. You describe it so well that the reader is right there in the snow with him. Well done, Frank. Up and shared.


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 23 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

I was just warming up on this winter morning, now I am so cold I will go back to bed and start all over again -- brrrr


ArtDiva profile image

ArtDiva 23 months ago from Yountville, CA

You certainly know how to deliver the dark side... and drawn to it as I was first reading Edgar Allen Poe. Think I'll go back and spend an afternoon reading your other offerings.


annart profile image

annart 23 months ago from SW England

I found myself associating this not only to a person but to a tree, especially as I read a few days ago about trees exploding in extreme cold!

This is bleak, chilling and inevitable. Hope has gone, death creeps up.

Your writing at its best.

Ann


clivewilliams profile image

clivewilliams 23 months ago from Nibiru

hey franco, the cold is not for me....the fire burns deep. Nice, my kinda stuff


Smilealot 23 months ago

A great description of a desperate and losing, fight for life....Chilling stuff (sorry) Frank..voted up and awesome:-))


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 23 months ago from New York

Geeze, here I am trying to get warm and you chill my bones! Well done as always my friend. Just the thought of freezing to death sends shivers up my spine.

Voted up, awesome, and interesting.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 23 months ago from The Caribbean

I sensed his fight to resist death, but it seems that when he shows up, even if anyone else is there, he wins. Sorry about his plight!


lovedoctor926 23 months ago

I can visualize this perfectly. Good description. The image goes with the poem.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 23 months ago from England

What a chilling poem, in more ways than one! freezing to death must be awful, but you always write it so well! voted up and shared, nell


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 23 months ago from The Beautiful South

This could be my story... so really tragic. Here it is winter and I am waiting on surgery on my neck before it gets dangerous and each time I have to go out in the cold (have to care for my chickens) I tell my husband to pay attention in case I am not back in a little while and he just doesn't even hear me! ( I mean what if I fall and can't get up?) I picture myself in this very position while he has got his nose in his computer and the volume so loud no amount of shouting could cut through! I do laugh about it while knowing full well this could be my story!


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 23 months ago from southern USA

Wow, dramatic poetry here, dear Frank! Love it, and felt frantic while reading it due to the manner in which it was written. Well done! Brrr ... frost bite is no joke.

Up +++ tweeting, pinning and sharing

Stay warm ... with lots of hugs : )


Anna Haven profile image

Anna Haven 23 months ago from Scotland

You spin tales of demise so beautifully. Nicely done. :)


tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 23 months ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

Spine chillingly good, not a nice way to go but so well sone!!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 23 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much Jodah and Flourishanyways for reading my frost bite


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 23 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you Billybuc, Phylliss and always exploring for reading my poem


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 23 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you Eric, Artdiva and annart for stopping by bless you


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 23 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much Clive, smilealot, glad you liked it.. and Tilsontitan and MsDora always good to see you guys bless you all


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 23 months ago from Shelton Author

Nell, Jackie and the lovedoctor.. happy new year guys and good to see you Marlene..thanks for reading my frost...:)


PurvisBobbi44 profile image

PurvisBobbi44 23 months ago from Florida

Hi,

An awesome poem of death, and then the spirit life begins. Our time on earth is short, but our spirit world is forever. What do you believe?

Bobbi Purvis


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 23 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much Anna, My dear Faith and to business for reading my Frost


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 23 months ago from Shelton Author

I believe in the ficion of it Purvis thanks for stopping by :)


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 23 months ago from California

Happy New Year Frank! As always, a treat to read your work!


jhamann profile image

jhamann 23 months ago from Reno NV

What an intense read, this poem takes you to the last breath in the cold. Well done. I hope you have a wonderful New Year. Jamie


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 23 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you Audrey and jhamann.. happy new years to you guys too


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 23 months ago from The Beautiful South

Now I gave you that whole story in a comment and did not even get a hit on it! p


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 23 months ago from Shelton Author

of course i read it and i chuckled because it was amusing.. of course ur husband would not leave you out there to freeze...


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 23 months ago from The Beautiful South

not on purpose...no....lol


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 23 months ago from Shelton Author

ur comment actually made me laugh.. but so many people to say thanks for stopping by.. I plumbed forgot.. but it was the best comment I had in a long time.. thanks Jackie


CrisSp profile image

CrisSp 23 months ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

Shivering!

Tragic but beautifully expressed and penned.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 23 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you CrisSp...:)


Genna East profile image

Genna East 23 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

As I feel the New England cold, this imagery seems all too real. Superb write, Frank! Stunning.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 23 months ago from Shelton Author

thanks for visiting my frost bite Genna bless you


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 22 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

This had a well paced tempo. Both bold and cold.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 22 months ago from Shelton Author

thanks mckbirdbks :)


The Examiner-1 profile image

The Examiner-1 22 months ago

That sure broke the ice in my books Frank. I thought that it was impressive. I voted up, shared and pinned it.

Kevin


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 22 months ago from Shelton Author

thanks kevin good to see you happy new year


LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 22 months ago from Somewhere in the West

Hi hi good day to you Frank :)

lovely poem

Thank U for sharing with us

~``Have a wonderful day ``~


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 22 months ago from Shelton Author

u too lady :)


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 21 months ago from Houston, Texas

It must be terrible to die of such a death when caught out in the bitter cold like that. You not only paint the picture with broad strokes but also with the finer details with your words. Excellent job!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 21 months ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much Peggy W.. bless you

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