Fun With Telemarketers
The Dreaded Call
We are all familiar with the scenario, just when you begin to eat your supper, the phone rings. Maybe you have just settled into your favorite recliner, ready to relax and watch a little television when the ringing begins. You mumble and grumble, somehow you just know it is the dreaded telemarketer calling. Yet it need not be an irritation. With the proper attitude, talking to telemarketers can be a positive and enjoyable experience.
The next time you find yourself on the phone with a telemarketer, try talking to them. Show them how polite and friendly you are, tell them all the news from your busy day. I am certain they will want to hear all about Aunt Sally's hip operation. Did the beans you had for dinner give you gas? Perhaps they would be interested in that as well.
The point to remember is that telemarketers are people like you and I. They enjoy laughing and smiling and like to make new friends as much as you do. The following are some suggestions on how to spice up the conversation and have a little fun at the same time.
Ask Irrelevant Questions
Listen intently to their sales pitch and when they ask if you have any questions, ask them if they think it will rain this weekend. Say that you are planning a picnic and inquire as to whether they prefer barbeque chicken or sandwiches. Each time they attempt to change the subject, go right back to your picnic questions.
Tell Them You Do Not Live There!
Tell them that you are only there to fix the plumbing, but you would love to hear their sales pitch. Better yet, tell them you are only working the neighborhood in search of some jewelry and electronics. If they are selling home security systems, tell them to call back later because the homeowner could really use one.
Let Them Know How Lonely You Are!
When they begin their sales pitch, let them know that you do not have many friends and have been feeling a bit lonely. Let them know how happy you are to have somebody to talk to and ask them if they will be your friend. If they answer yes, start talking about the party you have planned for next weekend.
Ask If You Can Buy On Credit
Say that you have no cash because you just had a judgement against you for the last item you purchased. Let them know all your credit cards are in collections, but you would be certain to pay for their product because you would never take advantage of a new found friend.
Ask If They Would Be Interested In Dating You
This works best when the caller is a member of the opposite gender. Then again, maybe not. Either way, the question will surely catch them off guard. Be persistent, tell them that you feel a real emotional connection with them. This will likely cut the sales pitch short.
Inquire As To Whether They Know Someone Who Can Perform An Exorcism
Tell them you keep hearing voices coming from your mouth, but the voices are not yours. Say that it is a deep voice and that it is really scaring you. Then, in a really deep voice, shout "leave this body". Then just breathe heavy until they hang up.
Talking To Telemarketers Can Be Fun!
When that telephone rings and the person on the other end is trying to sell you something, it does not need to be a bad thing. Make it a game and have some fun, if you do it well enough they might even remove your name from the call list. The next time a telemarketer calls, give it a try and use one of these suggestions. It will make you smile!
© 2012 Christopher J Wood
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