Funny Custer Stuff
I've gathered some pictures, products and anecdotes about General George Armstrong Custer, infamous Civil War general and Indian fighter. I don't care much for the man but pimpin tees ain't easy. Enjoy.
Who better to slap on a t-shirt than a man who commissioned more photographs than Fabio? Custer was so vain he had photos of himself inside photos of himself.
WWCD? Could use less text. Still a funny idea though.
Custer died for your sins. Funny t-shirt until I found out it reads "Vine DeLoria Jr 1936-2005" Turns out it's the name of the author of a book with the same name.
We'll take a moment here for a brief history lesson. The video below is exactly how it went down before the Battle of Little Bighorn.
Okay, we've learned enough. Let's have some fun. Here are some great Custer toys for children. I call this first one "It's not delivery. It's DiGiorno"...
..."Just a little off the top"...
..."Wounded heart at Wounded Knee"...
...and finally "Lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground."
This McDonalds toy captures General Custer's serious side.
Let's get some text up in this house. On a time:worth-reading-scale, I give it a 5 out of 10.
A Custer biographer commissioned a world-renowned artist to paint a life-size mural of Custer's famous Last Stand. When asked to portray what went through Custer's mind at his final moments of death, the painter agreed, but only under strict orders that it not be seen until it was completely finished. The painter proceeded to study every Custer photograph and painting, visited every inch of Custer's battlefields, devoured every book on Custer ever written. Years later the painting was finally revealed to the biographer. The curtain was pulled and he stood aghast at a thousand life-size Indians having sex. A gigantic orgy. Having wasted his life savings on this, the biographer was enraged and demanded an explanation. Admiring his work, the artist responded "I was told to portray Custer's final thoughts and I did. General Custer's final thoughts were 'Look at all those f---ing Indians!'"
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