Limericks - From Funny Famous Ditties To Rude Little Witty's!

Limericks can be traced as far back in History as the fourteenth Century, starting in England. They were mainly used as nursery rhymes for children, but of course because they were short and to the point, they spread to the inn's and taverns and ended up being bawdy and rather rude! So, as I was in a particularly funny mood, I thought that I would add a few of my favourites here. There were so many to choose from, and I thought that I had better only choose the ones that weren't, well, too bad, if you know what I mean! as I didn't want to shock the more delicate sensibilities of some of the more refined readers! Which of course is all of you! As you are so well behaved and such genteel ladees and gentlemen, I suggest that you read them with one eye closed, and that way it won't be as shocking to your delicate systems! Ah Ha

The word Limerick comes from the town in Ireland called, well, Limerick! Which is situated in the southern part of the country. Where songs were sung, and the bawdiness of the drunken man and the strumpet inn keeper's daughter brought a new type of poetry mixed with hilarity and this is what made the chorus change and of course brought us the famous Limerick .All because people had had too much to drink!. So there you have it, mixing the English drunkards with the poetic Irish, we ended up with the mixture of Limerick that we know so well today! Anyway, off we go, and if anybody has got any good ones, please feel free to add them at the bottom. I of course, know that you will be very sensible and just add sweet little poems! Uh Uumm! Hick! Sooo Shorry, too much tooo drinkkkkkk...............!

Merry Meet My Friends here's to the Ale and the Bawdiness!

 

There was an old man from Sprocket,

Who went up to Space in a Rocket,

The Rocket went bang,

His gonads went clang,

And his bum ended up in his pocket.

 

 There was a young woman called Sally,

Who loved an occasional dally

She sat on the lap

Of a well endowed chap

And said 'You're right up my alley.

 A wonderful bird is the pelican

His bill can hold more than his belican

He can take in his beak

Food enough for a week

But I'm damned if I see how the helican.

by Dixon Merritt.

 

 There was a young man from Savannah

Who met his end in a curious manner

He whittled a hole

In a telephone pole

And electrified his banana

 There was a young girl from Madras

Who had a most beautiful ass

Not rounded and pink

As you probably think

But Grey with long ears, and ate grass

Anonymous

A young engineer name of Paul

Was equipped with an octagonal ball

The square of his weight

Times his pecker, plus eight

Is his phone number, give him a call!

 

 

There once was an artist named Saint

Who swallowed some samples of paint

All Shades of the spectrum

Flowed out of his rectum

With a colourful lack of restraint!

 

There once was a man from Bonaire

Who was doing his wife on the stair

When the banister broke

He doubled his stroke

And finished her of in midair!

 

 

Limericks By Edward Lear

Just to prove that I do have a bit of culture in me, I thought I would add a few famous limericks by the poet Edward Lear!

There was a young lady whose chin

Resembled the point of a pin

So she had it made sharp

And purchased a harp

And played several tunes with her chin!

-

There was an old person of Dover

Who rushed through a field of blue Clover

But some very large bees

Stung his nose and his knees

So he very soon went back to Dover.

-

There was an old lady of Chertsey

Who made a remarkable Curtsy

She twirled round and round

Til she sunk underground

Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.

-

There was an old man who supposed

That the street door was partially closed

But some very large rats

Ate his coat and his hats

While that futile old gentleman dozed.

-

There was an old man in a tree

Whose whiskers were lovely to see

But the birds of the air

Plucked them perfectly bare

To make themselves nests in the tree

-

There was an old person of Ware

Who rode on the back of a bear

When they asked, 'Does it trot?'

He said 'Certainly not!'

He's a Moppsikon Floppsikon Bear!

Thanks to The www.jokespalace.com for a couple of the Rude Limericks. The rest are taken from a number of other share sites, so thanks to them. Oh, and a couple from me!

 If you like mysteries, psychic phenomena, true stories or just a good laugh, please feel free to click on my Profile page, the link is below, it would be great to see you.

More by this Author


Comments 135 comments

Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 6 years ago from India

Hi Nell - they're such fun, aren't they? There was a limerick thread in the forum that went on for a long time - there are some great ones there!

http://hubpages.com/forum/topic/17512


mythbuster profile image

mythbuster 6 years ago from Utopia, Oz, You Decide

These are awesome, Nell! I'm glad you published this hub. Anytime I need a laugh, I can return here. You are BOOKMARKED! Great fun.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

What fun, Nell. One of the great things about limericks is that the final "punchline" rhyme can almost always be guessed when the narrator and the listener share a similar background. Do you know the NPR (National Public Radio in the US) show, "Wait Wait -- Don't Tell Me!" A segment of the show allows participants to complete a limerick to win a prize. There's a great article on the process of writing those limericks (Zen and the Art of Limerick Writing) by the show's limerick writer.

http://www.npr.org/programs/waitwait/features/2001...

I do think one should be under the influence to write them proper-like.

Great Hub, voted up and funny.


Georgiakevin profile image

Georgiakevin 6 years ago from Central Georgia

I haven't read a limerick in years. These are delightful!


SilverGenes 6 years ago

I was laughing out loud reading these! Thank you for the fun!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Shalini, I will go and check it out, thanks for reading it, I was just in a funny mood! lol cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, mythbuster, glad you liked it and thanks for bookmarking it, I had such fun trying to find some good ones, there were some really rude ones there that had me in hysterics! but I thought that I had better not put them here! lol cheers nell


ahostagesituation profile image

ahostagesituation 6 years ago

Cheeky! I love it!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Sally, thanks for reading it, I will have to go and take a look at the radio limerick link, it sounds great fun, it was funny because when I was writing this, I couldn't help but keep reading all the limericks out to my son, he was in hysterics! I actually think the modern ones are so much more entertaining than the original ones by Edward Lear, but I think that was because our humour has changed somewhat! lol thanks again nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Georgiakevin, thanks again, I am glad you liked it, I have no idea why this got started, I just went into one of my funny modes! lol cheers nell

Hi, SilverGenes, I am glad it made you laugh, i couldn't stop giggling! lol cheers nell

Hi, ahostage, thanks for reading it, I think we all need a laugh a day! cheers nell


valeriebelew profile image

valeriebelew 6 years ago from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA

Humerous, Nell Rose. Delightful entertainment. (:v


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 6 years ago

Fun and funny, my son will enjoy this. :)


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

I have never heard of anything like this before. Thank you for sharing and a good laugh.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon

Oh my - I love the gonads and they landed in his pocket - my problem is I can never REMEMBER these. I must start doing the Sarah Palin thing and writing them on my hand (and arm and maybe a leg or two) and then I shall be able to whip them out at a party! TOO hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!


Merlin Fraser profile image

Merlin Fraser 6 years ago from Cotswold Hills

There was a young maid from Madras

Who had a magnificent ass;

Not rounded and pink,

As you probably think---

It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 6 years ago from Atlanta, GA

I've always loved Limericks and I do agree the modern ones are a lot more fun than the oldies. I never heard any of those you mentioned so thanks for the laugh!!

What's with Lear's habit of using the same word as a rhyme at the end? Pretty lame even for a classic limerick!

I have to check out that HP forum thread. Hope it's still going (and hope it's "safe":) Cheers!

OK here's one just as naughty/silly with a slightly different rhythm:

Cowboy Billy had a ten foot willie

So he showed it to the girl next door.

She thought it was a snake, so she hit it with a rake

And now it's only ten foot four.


World-Traveler profile image

World-Traveler 6 years ago from USA

Humor is so very important to our daily lives. I smiled at the content in this Hub and that was a nice way to start the day :-) Thanks!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, valerie, thanks for reading it, I am glad you liked it, cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Ingenira, I hope he likes them! lol thanks again nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Hello Hello, some of the limericks are hilarious that I read and they always make me smile, thanks for liking it, cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Audrey, I am glad it made you laugh, you will have to carry a piece of paper around with you, and sneak it out ever so often and just quote one of the limericks! I was in a funny mood, so i couldn't resist it! lol cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Merlin, I take it you liked that one? ha ha thanks for reading it, cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Green Lotus, I have heard the Cowboy Willy! ha ha it's brilliant! thanks for reading this, i was in a funny mood! I will go and check out the link too, I hope it is still going on, that will be funny! thanks again nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, World-Traveler, I am glad I made you laugh! it's nice to have a good giggle occasionally, thanks again as always nell


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

another great hub from you Nell. But this is so funny. I enjoy to read this hub, until I found funny lyrics from you. Thank you very much. You have funny imagination. Little rude, but I really enjoy with that. Vote this Up.

prasetio


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, prasetio, thanks for reading it, it is one of our British traditions to write these sort of limericks! they have been around for a long time, but it is only recently that they have got rude! ha ha thanks for the vote, I really appreciate it, cheers nell


Sa`ge profile image

Sa`ge 6 years ago from Barefoot Island

I tried to climb that tree

on the way up I skinned my knee

at the top got stung by a bee

where, don't ask me!

I need to pee!


sa`ge 6 years ago

not a good one I should have ended with

I needed to pee up in that tree. LOL have a great day!


marcofratelli profile image

marcofratelli 6 years ago from Australia

Oh I like those!


M. T. Dremer profile image

M. T. Dremer 6 years ago from United States

I love limericks. In fact, it's the only kind of poetry I consistently like to write and read. I had a lot of fun with them in one of my creative writing classes and I'll share one with you I wrote about writer's block:

I can feel the block in my mind,

so pressured and unkind.

No words can escape,

no visions take shape,

screw it, I'll leave it behind.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 6 years ago from Sunny Florida

Thank you for the laugh. I haven't read a limmerick since I don't know when. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

I thoroughly enjoyed this very funny limericks. I cannot recall any offhand. I suppose I could add: On top of old Smokey, all covered with cheese; I laid my first meatball, between my knees.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Sa'ge, ha ha brilliant, I wish I could make up a few more but my mind went blank! I actually wrote a couple of them because I had heard them years before, but I was in a funny mood! lol so I thought we needed a bit of light humour! thanks as always nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, marco thanks for stopping by, and I am glad you liked them, cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, M. T. That sounds so familiar! lol thanks for stopping by, cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Koffee, thank you again, and I am glad it made you laugh, cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, James, i remember that one! lol thanks for reading it, I could have written so many more but they were either too rude or too boring! ha ha thanks again nell


Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

Hehehe... I can't stop laughing. Hehehehe...

by the way: 100! oh yeah! congrat, Nell!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Freya, Hee Hee now you are making me laugh! I am glad you liked it, and thanks for noticing my 100! yeah! I got there at last! cheers nell


Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

Take a pic on the number, Nell, before it drop! Ah, I am not sure I will be get there.


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 6 years ago from Atlanta, GA

Here's one rated "G" - actually one of my faves :)

There once was a man who was small

Who went to a masquerade ball.

He thought he would risk it, and go as a biscuit,

But a dog ate him up in the hall!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Freya, I was going too and then it dropped! ha ha but thanks anyway! thanks again nell

Hi, Green Lotus, brilliant! lol I sometimes think the not so rude ones are just as funny, thanks again nell


dutchman1951 profile image

dutchman1951 6 years ago from Tennessee, USA

A Young Witch named Alice McFay

Would ride upon her Beasom each day

She would loop and then zoom

Around every room

Until the Celing Fan got in her way!

I enjoyed your Limericks, there great

Jon in Nashville


kingkhan78 profile image

kingkhan78 6 years ago

Your information is very informative about hub page community thanks for sharing


Joy56 profile image

Joy56 6 years ago

it is a long time since i recited limericks, it was a lovely flash back to the past thankyou


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, dutchman Jon! lol thanks for the limerick, I am trying to remember them all, I will have to write that one down! thanks nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, kingkhan, Ummmm, you lost me there I'm afraid, but thanks anyway! cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Joy, It's nice to do something that we haven't done in a while, I was just in a funny mood! ha ha thanks so much nell


Japemwellows profile image

Japemwellows 6 years ago from 5ifth Dimensi0n

Haha, the last time I remember hearing limericks like these, I was in the military. Brings back some fond memories, nice hub I needed a laugh!! =)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi,Japemwellows, I was going to go ruder but I thought I had better not! lol glad you liked them, thanks nell


culturespain 6 years ago

Truly excellent, very funny and a splendid idea for a Hub. To my shame, I never connected limericks with Limerick (despite being a Brit.!).


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, culturespain, Thanks for commenting, I know what you mean, it took me a while to figure out the connection! lol glad you liked it, thanks nell


ACSutliff profile image

ACSutliff 6 years ago

Nell,

This is understandably a very popular hub. Your limericks are humorous and smart and just the right amount of naughty. :-) They are so fun to read, but also fun to write. I wrote one recently that has gone missing, and I wish I could find it. I really enjoyed the one about Sally!

~AC


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, ACSutliff, thanks for liking it, I was going to make it a bit ruder then I thought, no don't push my luck! lol yeah I like the sally one too, just about right, but I think Edward Lear needed to take a few more poetry lessons!! ha ha thanks again nell


Ivorwen profile image

Ivorwen 6 years ago from Hither and Yonder

These are so funny! I am going to forward this to my brother-in-law, 'cause I know he will get a kick out of it! And I had never heard a one of these before.

My favorite ones have always been about the little boy Willy:

Willy saw some dynamite,

Didn't understand it quite.

Curiosity seldom pays.

It rained Willy seven days.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Ivorwen, ha ha that's great, I love limericks we have always made up some at home, and I was in a funny mood! so I am glad you liked them and I hope your brother in law does too, thanks for stopping by, cheers nell


pmccray profile image

pmccray 6 years ago from Utah

LOL LOL hahahaha... these limericks are priceless. Thanks so much for the yucks!!!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, pmc, lol glad you like them, I did have a few more, but they were, well a bit more rude! ha ha thanks again nell


angel 6 years ago

This is my first time to hear about limericks. They are funny, but they can be a good lullabye.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

HI, angel thanks for stopping by, yes they do certainly have a soothing rhythm to them, glad you liked them, cheers nell


raisingme profile image

raisingme 6 years ago from Fraser Valley, British Columbia

What fun, I haven't read or written a limerick in years. And I do mean years because, while I recognized some, others I wasn't 'exposed' to in school nor were my children. Great treat to read them. Thank You.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, raisingme, I was going to get ruder then I thought better of it! lol glad you liked it, I was just in a funny mood! ha ha cheers nell


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

I had to hit all your buttons because they are "all that". These are so funny. Thank you for a beautiful and funny hub! Great stuff!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Micky, ha ha I am glad you liked it, I was going to be ruder but thought I had better not! lol thanks nell


sligobay profile image

sligobay 6 years ago from east of the equator

Hi Nell- What a wonderful diversion for an old rugger like me. All of are parties were bawdy and limericks were a fixture that induced competition and mixed well with the mud, the blood and the beer. Cheers.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Sligo, thanks for reading it, I thought you might appreciate this one! lol glad you liked it, cheers nell


kathryn1000 profile image

kathryn1000 5 years ago from London

Really good.Must read them again if the winter blues strike/


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, kathryn, glad you enjoyed them, and thanks nell


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

Limericks are always good, racy fun. Quite a few of these were new to me. Thanks for the post.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, Doug, thanks for reading it, I love Limericks too, I was going to add a lot more, but couldn't find any innocent ones! lol thanks so much nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, saleheen, I am so glad you found it amusing, it is good when you can have a laugh, especially if you are feeling down, thanks so much nell


Docmo profile image

Docmo 5 years ago from UK

Thanks for the laughs. I am rather fond of these bawdy little ditties( careful!) and its great to hear some new ones.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, Docmo, ha ha glad you liked it, and thanks nell


Non-Linear Lines profile image

Non-Linear Lines 5 years ago from Alberta, Canada

Thanks for the giggle! These were so fun!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, NLL, glad you liked it! and thanks, nell


jamiecoins profile image

jamiecoins 5 years ago from ireland

cool limericks :)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, jamiecoins, thanks for the comment, glad you liked it, cheers nell


vietnamvet68 profile image

vietnamvet68 5 years ago from New York State

now these are really cute, I'm surprised I never found them before.

God Bless


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, vietnamvet, thanks so much, glad you liked them, cheers nell


Thatguypk profile image

Thatguypk 5 years ago

A hubber of note is Nell Rose,

As her number of followers shows.

Full of wisdom and wit.

(Yes, I've read her a bit!)

So I'll follow her too, I suppose!

Very entertaininh hub! Thanks for the fun. PK


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, Thatguypk, lol brilliant! your a poet but I bet you didn't know it! thanks so much, nell


suzettenaples profile image

suzettenaples 5 years ago from Taos, NM

These are great! What an entertaining hub you wrote. I like your choice, ribald or not, it's just something to have fun with. Keep writing!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, suzette, thanks! I love limericks I think they are the best sort of poems out there! ha ha


Dustin_Ashe 5 years ago

I found this extremely entertaining, thanks for the laughs.

made me smile bunches. :)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, Dustin, appreciate it! glad it made you laugh, thanks!


lambservant profile image

lambservant 5 years ago from Pacific Northwest

Oh my, I'm blushing and LMAO!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, lambservant, lol! I am glad you liked it! and you can stop blushing now! ha ha thanks so much for making me laugh! cheers nell


rjsadowski profile image

rjsadowski 5 years ago

There once was a Hubber named Nell Rose.

Who resided in England not Melrose.

She wrote day and night.

To her reader's delight.

And never got out of her bedclothes.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, rj, lol brilliant! how did you know? lol If I could stay in bed all day and just write, then I think I would be happy! as long as the coffee is on the go all the time that is!


Shaisty-Chase-Tea profile image

Shaisty-Chase-Tea 5 years ago from The Outskirts

"limericks can be traced back in history"

why they prompt a good eye is a mystery

I write them on Kane,

Maddie taught me the game,

but noting for me, cause i'd piss a streak

I'm brilliant but crude as i go

as in 'limericks'... not so naughty, i know

i play kinda wrough

pitty poets that bluff

my might and arms are night sticks, they glow

"if i could stay in bed all day"

only my pillow would get a good lay

i'd write all the time

a few limericks that ryhmed

maybe then my hubpages will pay


Shaisty-Chase-Tea profile image

Shaisty-Chase-Tea 5 years ago from The Outskirts

this is a prompt by green lotus upon her comment above: I like to be promtped in limericks, as a game to play

"Cowboy Billy had a ten foot willie"

but all the ladies thought he was just silly

so his heart wiped it out

ladies screamed "sour krout"

Said "No more women!!"... and took the motto of Philli


funmontrealgirl profile image

funmontrealgirl 5 years ago from Montreal

Fantastic. I have no abilities like this, but I am so happy to read your work. Voted up. Thanks for that Nell.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, Shaisty, lol Brilliant! sorry it took so long to answer, I seem to be running around like a mad woman these last few days! but I love the little ditty! ha ha thanks nell

Hi, funmontreagirl, thanks most of its from history, but I did add a few! could do more, but a bit risque'! ha ha


Cresentmoon2007 profile image

Cresentmoon2007 4 years ago from Caledonia, MI

Funny hilarious and enjoyable


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks Cresentmoon!


zack 4 years ago

There once was a man from kanass

Who's nuts were made out of brass

in stormy weather

he'd clack them together

and lightning shot out of his ass


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

LOL!


Bella DonnaDonna profile image

Bella DonnaDonna 4 years ago from New Orleans, LA

;-) ;-) ;-)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Bella, thanks again, nell


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

Hi Nell, one of my hubber friends, kallini2010, just sent me a link to this hub of yours.... Oh, and how I needed all the smiles you’ve given me in here. These (above the belt) mixture of limericks of English drunkards with the (sober? – ha-ha) poetic Irish, is truly hilarious. I feel like writing a few myself. Just need some Irish beer.

Voted UP and awesome!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

Nell, do you have any idea who painted that lady with the feathered hat?


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Martie, I love limericks, I can't even remember why I started this hub, must have been in a joking mood! lol! I have looked everywhere for the photo, but this was before we were told to add links, and I wish I had now, I think, If I remember right, that I put in google search something like tavern wench, but I am not sure, sorry, I will take another look because its driving me mad now! lol! thanks for the read, cheers nell


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

I love limericks, I have so often downloaded podcast about limericks produced by the BBC. However, I did not know about its root.

This is funny and amusing, I enjoyed your work very much.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks Vinaya, they are the one thing that always makes people smile when they hear them! glad you liked them, cheers nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks Lee, really funny! lol! but sorry I will have to take it off because its a bit naughty! haha!


Larry Fields profile image

Larry Fields 4 years ago from Northern California

Voted up, funny, and shared. Here's a Limerick that I heard in college from a music major.

There once was a man named Bela Bartok,

Who tied mandolin strings about his c***

With each erection he made,

A selection he played,

From Johann Sebastian Bach!

Even though I'm not a poetry buff, I did feel obligated to contribute to the genre, because of all the great Limericks out there. I actually put this one on my answering machine many years ago.

There once was a man named Larry,

Whose schedule was quite contrary.

If you want him to phone,

Leave your number at the tone,

And please, not in binary!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi Larry, haha! brilliant! loved the first one best! lol! thanks again, nell


Suelynn profile image

Suelynn 4 years ago from Manitoba, Canada

Hi Nell, LOVE this hub! Interestingly enough, I find the first batch of limericks a lot more entertaining than Lear's... may I open my eye now?? Larry Fields... great response! Voted up and across and thanks for the entertainment. :)))) (fab. grafix!)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi Sue, lol! yes Larry is quite the poet don't you think? I am glad you liked it, we are always making up Limericks in my house! thanks!


Larry Fields profile image

Larry Fields 4 years ago from Northern California

I should have expressed myself more clearly. AFAIK, the Bartok limerick is the handiwork of Jim Wildman, whom I haven't seen in ages.

Nobody has ever accused me of being a poet before. Maybe a bar-room poet. Oh wait a minute; I just remembered that I don't frequent pubs. *sighs* Not even a bar-room poet.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi Larry, lol! if you are not a conventional poet then maybe you write limericks instead! lol! thanks for coming back, nell


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

how am i doing (limericks)?


tonymead60 profile image

tonymead60 4 years ago from Yorkshire

Hi Nell,

what a popular hub you have created, so many people joining in and enjoying your effort. I love a good limerick and in particular those of Lear which I think were very clever. Did you know Lear was also a brilliant artist?

I really enjoyed your hub, thank you for sharing. Voted up and the buttons too.

regards

Tony


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi tony, glad you liked it! they are funny aren't they? I didn't know that Lear was an artist too, a man of many talents! thanks so much for reading, cheers nell


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

LOL! Thanks for the laughs!!!


rcrumple profile image

rcrumple 4 years ago from Kentucky

A limerick I shall endeavor

A gift to one very clever

Your skills are strong

Your hubs not long

Given that you look good in leather

Another great hub, my dear! We don't hear from you often enough. Fly across the Internet seas and join us whenever possible! Luv Ya!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Thanks Linda! lol!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi rcrumple, yes I do look good in leather! haha! well, I wish! thanks for reading, I am having trouble with my pc at the moment and have also been busy with my brother, I just can't get on here enough these days, but thats gonna change! lol!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK

So many chuckles in these witty little ditties, Nell Rose. Thanks for the laughs.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi Mohan, thanks for reading them, my witty little ditties! lol!


owner 3 years ago

Add more, they're grand

From where I stand,

seated at my PC.

Now I'm done, and all forlorn

there's no more fun to see.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Lol! bravo!

Thanks owner, glad you liked it, and I love your little limerick!


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 3 years ago

Funny and very entertaining. You certainly know how to put the words together to make witty tales! Thanks for the laugh in my day.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 3 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Nell my friend.. I love this.. made me laugh I really enjoyed. this..

good to see you 'Debbie


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England Author

Hi teaches, lol! thanks for reading, nell

Hi Deborah, good to see you too, and thanks as always, nell


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 2 years ago from California

I just guffawed!!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

LOL! thanks Audrey! glad it made you laugh! Happy St. Patrick's Day!


Crystal Tatum profile image

Crystal Tatum 2 years ago from Georgia

These are a lot of fun! Wherever did you find them all?


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Crystal, lol! It took a lot of searching all over the place, but I love them, don't you? Funny stuff! thanks so much for reading, nell


Vellur profile image

Vellur 2 years ago from Dubai

Enjoyed reading, great limericks! They are tough to write and I never can! Great hub.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Vellur, lol! yes limericks are hard to write, but fun though! thanks for reading, nell


Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 11 months ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

For all of the raving reviews,

For all this limerick news.

It's safe to retort

This limerick sport

Will keep me from having a snooze.

(Others elsewhere.) and see Mhatter99 too.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 11 months ago from England Author

lol! well when you put it like that Perspycacious! thanks for reading, and I love the limerick!


Jodah profile image

Jodah 9 months ago from Queensland Australia

Hi Nell, I know I am five years late, but i just came across this hub and I love limericks. These are great and very saucy. In my limerick hubs I always had some problem getting them past the HP censors and had to change a few. I think the editors are more prudish than they used to be.

I'll try to add one here but it is quite rude so I will edit out one of the words. There are two versions.

There was a young lady named Hunt

Who performed the unusual stunt

Of screwing long distance

At her lover's insistence

For she had a detachable ****

or

There was a young lady named Hunt

Who performed the unusual stunt

Of screwing by mail

With her lover in jail

For she had a detachable ****

Please delete comment if too rude for your hub.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 9 months ago from England Author

LOL! Jodah, nothing is ever to rude for me! these are funny! and you did cover up those words! lol! I love limericks, I am always making them up, nell

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working