Funny Pun – Number Eight

Funny Pun – Number Eight

Hing and Ming and the Chickens

This story takes place in China

On a farm out in the sticks.

Olaf Olson, the old farmer

Had a problem he could not fix.


I know what you are thinking,

Olson is not a Chinese name.

This old gentleman farmer

To America once came.


He stood in line at Ellis Island,

Olaf Olson was just ahead.

When Sam was asked his name,

“Sam Ting,” is what he said.


The customs guy told Sam, "Okay."

Sam became Olaf that same day.

With the backstory we’re done,

Now back to the main pun.


Olaf owned a large chicken farm

But customers weren’t buying.

His chickens lost their feathers

And then they began dying.


Money was no problem,

But what should Olaf do?

He soon surfed the Internet

To find experts who knew.

He found a scientist named Hing

Who studied almost everything.

And a sorcerer called Ming

Who had once advised a king.


Remember our hero is rich

So he paid whatever it took.

To bring both of these wise men

To visit and take a look.


They examined the chickens

Both on the inside and out.

Hing said it wasn’t leprosy,

Ming said it wasn’t the gout.

They agreed in consultation

With mutual admiration,

It was not dehydration

Nor even constipation.


Hing was a scientist

And also a professor.

Unlike Ming who wore a robe,

He was a snappy dresser.


He taught poultry science courses

At famous old Fokk U.

Regarding chicken disease,

Hing knew just what to do.

You gather gum tree leaves

And make from them a brew.

Feed the gum tea to the chickens

And they will be as good as new.


Ming, you recall, was a wizard

So he studied pig entrails.

He meditated and cogitated

And cast a number of spells.


He then brewed some pekoe tea

And in the leaves what did he see?

The very same answer as Hing –

It’s the leaves of the gum tree.

Together their concentration

Led to a demonstration.


“Infusions of gum tree leaves,”

Hing explained. “all studies show

Will stop the chickens from dying

And cause their feathers to grow.”


Ming in his wizard’s robe agreed,

“As gum sticks to tables and chairs,

So shall the gum tree leaves

Grow feathers where chickens are bare.”


Olaf Olson nee Ting is pleased.

Due to their collaboration,

He is delighted to follow

Their mutual recommendation.

Source

Was Hing and Ming’s solution

To the problem, a resolution?

NOT!


Everyone already knows

Whether poetry or prose:

"All of Hing's courses and all of Ming's ken

Couldn't get gum tea to feather a hen."

Was this a 'Gotcha'? Or merely a 'Groaner'?

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2011. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So." Includes most-needed, valuable information for older workers.

More by this Author


Comments 70 comments

Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

GROAN! But clever as usual :)


mary615 profile image

mary615 5 years ago from Florida

Gotcha!!! You are the most clever writer in Hubland! Where in the world do you get these ideas???? They are just "play on words", but one has to have a good brain (and some talent) to put it altogether. Another great pun!


John MacNab profile image

John MacNab 5 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence

It was definitely a 'gotcha'and not a groan. I hadn't a clue where this one was going. Nice one drbj.


femmeflashpoint 5 years ago

(Grin!)

I'm with John MacNab - I was waiting for it, waiting for it and them BAM!

You got me, lol! I loved it!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

"Don't look!", I told myself, but who listens to me?

(groan!)


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Definitely a 'gotcha'

My mind was for some reason heading towards something to do with cold turkey weird aye


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

I think it might be safe to say it was a "Gotcha Groaner".


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

It was a got'cha - because I never can predict what you will write next:) lol. Up and hilarious!


GClark profile image

GClark 5 years ago from United States

Voted Up for a definite "Gotcha Groaner." GClark


lmmartin profile image

lmmartin 5 years ago from Alberta and Florida

Clever, well-written, tongue-in-cheek humor, a beat you can dance to, but still a groaner. Lynda


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon

Definitely a gotcha AND a groaner~~~You have me well trained though BJ - I'm constantly trying to figure out the line before I get to the end.

Too hilarious as always and thanks for the chuckles. Can't get enough of those!


Derdriu 5 years ago

drbj: Double gotcha, double groaner, quadruple O-U-C-H!

Thank you for sharing, etc.,

Derdriu


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 5 years ago from Atlanta, GA

You have taken the art of thinking backwards to its pinnacle, but I still had to groan.


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 5 years ago from Deep South, USA

I, too, LOVE puns! Wish I had the memory to recall all of them I've ever heard--especially the longer stories.

Speaking of which, do you know the pun based on the advertising slogan "The Beer that Made Milwaukee Famous?" If so, PLEASE post it on Hubpages! I've been trying to recall it for ages. Thanks....JAYE


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Susan, for being the first to GROAN and for throwing in a 'clever' as well.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, mary, for your gracious comments, all absolutely true, of course. Delighted I gave you a Gotcha!

Where do I get these ideas you asked? If I tell you I'll have to kill you. Heh, heh.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, John, for the 'nice one' comment and the 'Gotcha.' Didn't have a clue, ey? That makes my day!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Femme. So you're with John? Waiting for it? And then BAM! That's music to my ears. Thank you for loving it and the Grin.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Gave you a groan, did I, Will? Well, you gave me a big smile with your remark: "'Don't look,' I told myself, but who listens to me?" Perfection, my man.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

Gotcha, I loved it! I'm amazed at your wit and ability to rhyme. Clever how you slid FOKK U in. Ha, When i think i've heard the last chicken joke, I realize you will always come up with a better one. Thank's for the laughs.....


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Rosemary, a gotcha for you, too? Wow! Double wow! You were thinking about 'cold turkey'? I'll have to ponder that one awhile. Seems like it could have possibilities. :)


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

A "Gotcha Groaner", christopher? That IS a new pinnacle for me. Thank you for the impetus ... I think.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Absolutely delirious with joy that I Gotcha, Kelly. Funny that you mention you can never predict wht I will write next. Neither can I! Thanks, m'luv, for the up and hilarious. One of my very favorite adjectives.


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

Very funny, and clever too, drbj! The ending was a big surprise.


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 5 years ago from India

Hahahaha...love the poetic license! :)


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

A Gotcha, a Groaner AND an Up, GClark? What more could I ask? Thank you.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

I don't mind the groaner comment, Lynda, when it is accompanied by such lovely verbiage as "Clever, well-written, tongue-in-cheek humor, a beat you can dance to." How gracious you are. And I don't think my efforts have ever been compared to dance music. This IS a first, m'dear. Thank you.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

'Et tu,' Aidrey? Ah, well, it is better to be labeled a gotcha and a groaner than never to be labeled at all. So happy I kept you enthralled to the end. Thank you for the hilarious and delighted to provide the chuckles. Any time m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

So happy I could pull you away from the fishing grounds, Derdriu. Even though you labeled this a double gotcha, groaner and a quadruple OUCH.

It's my pleasure to share this so thanks are not necessary. Donations, yes. Thanks, no.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

You are forgiven the groan, Hilary, since you balanced it with the pinnacle comment. I am still ruminating though over the 'thinking backwards' statement. That IS a compliment, right?


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

If you LOVE puns, too, Jaye, then you are a buddy of mine. I think I remember that old pun re Milwaukee and beer. I'll try to ressurect it and dedicate it to you. If you remember any other ancient puns, let me know so we can have fun with them. Thanks, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Delighted to supply a Gotcha, Ruby. Thank you for your incomparable comments - you are so perceptive, m'dear. And you picked up on Fokk U - I knew you would. Happy to provide some laughs. It's my pleasure.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

So happy you got a big surprise from the ending, Alicia. Makes my day you know. The 'very funny and clever, too' also helps, m'luv. Thank you.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

What do you think, Feline? If I lose my driver's license, can I replace it with my poetic license? Just wonderin'.


femmeflashpoint 5 years ago

"Groaner" ... but a good one! (Grin!)

They shoulda just fed the chickens peyote. Then they'd eat everything in sight and not care that they were nakie.

And, that little idea doesn't come from personal experience. I didn't grow up on the Res, and if I'd been caught smoking peyote, or anything with a similar effect, I'd have ended up in a worse stew than the chickens.


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA

Good Doctor bj - Nothing quite like epic fun with a pun !

Gus :-)))


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 5 years ago from Atlanta, GA

Doc - Thinking backwards is how many great authors, inventors and other creators work miracles! I have an old Hub on it, but basically it's about starting or living into the result before you actually make it happen! Cheers.


J Rocco 5 years ago

Gotcha!!! Wow! You did it again BJ. I read a lot of stuff on here but nothing comes to close to the wit and fun that make me laugh like your puns. You have a terrific imagination and such a clever mind. Thank you for sharing with us all. Happy Holiday's and may God Bless!!


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

Definitely a "gotcha" Drbj. Number eight is great! And I had to check the link on Fokk U too. Once knew a feller named Hung Lo, who when he told folks his name, they lowered their eyes and said " Oh,is that so?" Groan!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 5 years ago from UK

Ah, drbj! just the dose of gotchas and groans I needed. You are a reliable, resounding, raucous punner. I will now have to go through all this pun-demonium (;-) This one's ending did feel a bit strained but you had me cackling at Sam-Ting!bravo.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago

Ah, it was a little of both, "Gotcha & Groaner" ....but also I will add "I Loved it"...even though I did see it coming... You are Always so Clever, and Fun, and my Smile for the Day read Drbj!


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 4 years ago from malang-indonesia

This was amazing poem. I believe that HubPages is more interesting by your presence. I can't say anything, but I give all my votes to you. God bless you!

Love and peace, Prasetio


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, femme - I always say a good 'groaner' is better than no groaner at all. What a novel suggestion - feed the chickens peyote? Then we just stand back and watch the entertainment. Right?

But I know you're too smart to experiment with that stuff. I've met folks who ingested it and they still have NOT come down!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for the visit, Gus. Hope you enjoyed epic fun with this pun. It's always my pleasure to have you stop by, my friend.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

You know, Hilary, thinking backward is probably one of the things I like the most. At least with puns. I start with the pun and then work back to a situation that would provoke that punny ending. Cheers backatcha.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Wow, what a compliment, J. You can be my press agent any old time. It is definitely my supreme pleasure to make you laugh. Keep laughing - it's the only way to go. Thank you for your more than gracious comments and God bless you, too. May the New Year bring you all that you desire - including the Lamborghini. Is that an accurate guess?


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Alastar. So it was a gotcha for you. You made my day. And thanks for checking out Fokk U. If you are interested in matriculation (doesn't that sound erotic?), that esteemed fount of knowledge is always seeking erudite students like yourself.

I think I once met the father of that guy in the groaner. His name was Wan Hung Lo - he was not as deprived. :)


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

How lovely to have you back on Hubpages, Docmo. Love your awesome, alliterating adjectives - you are welcome any time. Delighted to supply the pundemonium. And cackling is several degrees above mere chuckling. Thank you. Sam Ting thanks you, too.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

A gotcha and a groaner, b? That's the best kind of pun - especially if it made you smile. Thank you for all your gracious comments. I appreciate your visits.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Dear pras, you always know the nicest things to say and your comments, my friend, touch my heart. Thank you for your beautiful words and your votes. God bless you, too.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Dr.,

Thank you for the "nutty gotcha." Sounds like a really good dessert, doesn't it. You are so much fun and I have loved your puns. Very clever! I would think that puns are very difficult to write and you have mastered them!

Sharyn


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

You are entirely welcome, Sharyn, for the nutty gotcha. Thanks for loving my puns. As Hilary pointed out in a comment above, I start with a pun that I think is a groaner and then work backward to develop a somewhat reasonable explanation for the pounny punchline.

Signed, Macadamia


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

Of course it was a 'Gotcha'! You are such a funny punner, clever and witty and a brilliant entertainer. I hope you are enjoying this holiday season.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Martie, delighted it was a Gotcha for you. Thank you for all those mahvelous adjectives - you make my day. Particularly during this busy season when time is always much too short. Still it is a lovely time of year and I hope you are enjoying this season as well.


Sturocco 4 years ago

Very nice I read it twice. Love the hub. Def a gotcha here.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Sturocco. You may be a poet and don't know it with that line. Thanks for loving this hub and delighted I gotcha. Now you only have to read the seven puns that preceded this one to catch up!


sligobay profile image

sligobay 4 years ago from east of the equator

I never groan at a clever construct such as yours. So much time and effort is invested at turning a phrase and then building a story to arrive at that desired outcome. Bravo for the effort and outcome. It was a gotcha for me. Best wishes for a Happy New Year.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

What a pleasure to read such laudatory comments from an insightful writer like yourself. Thank you for your clever observations. And the Bravo. So it was a Gotcha? Makes my day, you know.


sligobay profile image

sligobay 4 years ago from east of the equator

I won't stop until I've read all of your punny funs.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Gerry. You do have a strong constitution!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

...are you in touch with a lady here at the Hub from Wales - EIDDWEN - she would love this - and of course you know I always do with yet another posting of your hub greatness to my Facebook page with a direct link back here and here I sit on this sunday evening wishing you a happy new year with continued health, happiness and prosperity at lake erie time ontario canada 9:08pm


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Colin. I believe I have seen the name, Eiddwen, on your exceptional hubs. Because you mentioned her, I will check her out and give her your regards.

Thank you for your constant appreciative remarks and friendship. May this new year be your happiest, healthiest and most prosperous, too.


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Dear drbj, you 'got' me at hing ming. Regards, snakeslane grroawwnnn....


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Ah, sl, getting a gotcha at hing ming is my favorite thing. Thank you for that mesmerizing groan. Regards backatcha.


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 3 years ago from sunny Florida

Thanks for the chuckle. I just don't know how you do it. Amazing use of the language, my dear.

Sending Angels your way :) ps


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Confidentially, Patricia, you know what? I don't know how either!!! I just wait for the spark to ignite. Delighted this gave you a chuckle, m'dear.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida

Clever. I had no idea where it was going. I started laughing at the Sam Ting name mixup and still am. You are always so funny. Love it.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

What a nice thrill to find you at so many of my funny hubs, KKGals. Don't stop! So happy you enjoyed the Sam Ting name mix-up. Thanks for finding this as funny as I do and loving it. You are the best.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

I know I'm slow getting around to reading this drbj, but better nate than lever.......Gotcha! for me, you are sooooo funny. Voted up.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Jodah, for the visit and the sooooo funny. You are sooooo perceptive. :)

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