Funny Pun - Number Nine

Funny Pun – Number Nine

Slinging Bull and his Family

Long ago when America was young

Many Indians lived on the prairie.

A famous Chief named Slinging Bull

Had three young wives he did marry.


Note: Indians didn’t live ON the prairie,

That just would not make sense.

Of buffalo patties they were wary,

So they lived in teepees and tents.


Wife Number One was so fair,

He called her his woman of the night.

She gave Slinging Bull his first heir –

A strapping son with eyes so bright.

I know what you are thinking

But it was just a joke, you know.

His beautiful young wife

Came from the tribe of Nava-ho.


The chief was so proud of his son,

He built a new teepee for his squaw.

Fashioned from the soft hide of a deer,

His braves were jealous and in awe.


Then Wife Number Two,

Gave him another son.

He built her a brand new teepee

Of hide from a moose killed with his gun.

Slinging Bull was virile and active,

Soon Wife Number Three was with child.

She also gave birth but in secret.

The Chief built her teepee in the wild.


From Africa he imported a fancy hide,

It was a strong hippopotamus skin.

The teepee stood in the forest,

No one knew the sex of the baby within.


The chief challenged his tribe

To guess the sex of the new baby.

Finally one young brave said,

“I think I have the answer, maybe.”

“Your Wife Number Three

Had not one but two twin sons.”

The Chief said,You are correct, I confess,

But tell me, how did you guess?”


:Elementary,” said the young brave,

“The squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to

The sons of the squaws of the other two hides.”

Pythagoreas may be rolling over in his grave.

Note: If you have forgotten the Pythagorean theorem which you encountered long ago in school: "the square of the hypotenuse (of a right triangle) is equal to the sum of the squares of the two (adjacent) sides."

Δ-Δ-Δ-Δ-Δ-Δ-Δ-Δ-Δ-Δ-Δ-Δ

World’s worst ‘teepee’ joke:

Patient: ‘Doc, I don't know what to do. I can't get to sleep at night. I keep having these recurring dreams. First I dream I am a teepee, then I dream I am a wigwam – all night long. What’s wrong with me?’

Psychiatrist: ‘Relax. Stop worrying. You are just two tents.’

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2012. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"

"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else." -- Will Rogers

More by this Author


Comments 48 comments

toys-everywhere profile image

toys-everywhere 4 years ago from That little rambunctious spot in the back of your mind :)

Wow, you managed to be funny, entertaining, and poetically adept all at once! Voted up and awesome. :)

Thanks for a great read.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 4 years ago from Central Oregon

Deep groan but hilarious as usual~ Gotta love 'you are 2 tents' - my diagnosis exactly~~

Happy New Year, BJ~!!


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

That was really funny. It reminded me of school, and the hated maths lessons. Still the teacher must have being doing something right, as I can still remember Pythagorus's theorem.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 4 years ago from Arlington, TX

Great funny work friend. Have a great 2012 iffin ya can.

The Frog


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

Funny, funny, funny! Happy New year. Awesome and funny....


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

You made the Indians proud..HaHa..Funny..Loved it..


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States

Happy New Year! I am really looking forward to more fun and puns this year, Dr. BJ! Voted up, up and away!


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

I will be passing this onto my granddaughter, I'm sure it will help jog her memory when she needs to remember the Pythagorus's theorem. Lol

Loved this little story

Thank you for the New year smiles.

All the very best.


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

It's been a long time since I thought of the Pyhagorus's theorem! You're a funny girl, you know??? I love your Puns!


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 4 years ago from Atlanta, GA

Brilliantly conceived doc! Not only was it funny, you managed to get in several key Hub links into the poetry. Now that's talent.


Field-Of-Flowers profile image

Field-Of-Flowers 4 years ago from Midwest, USA

**Deep groan** and a lot of laughter here! This is classic. 'The squaw of the hippopotamus... thanks for the laugh!

:-)


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

Drbj your PhD intellect really came to the fore in this pun. Alastar was scratching his head over the Pythagorean clue. Yes, Alastar was getting 2 tents over it. But all's well that puns well. Hey Doc, did you hear about the chief who drank 50 gals. of tea over-night? In the morning they found him dead in his tee-pee.:)


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, toys-everywhere. How nice to meet you here. With comments like 'funny, entertaining, poetically adept (that's a new one) amd awesome,' you are more than welcome any time. And thanks for the up.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Audrey. You are forgiven the deep groan, m'dear, since you also found this hilarious and enjoyed my '2 tents.' You, too? A very Happy New Year backatcha, m'luv.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, christopher. Delighted I could remind you of school and still be funny. Pythagoras made an impression on me, too, long ago. I remember laughing at the word, hypotenuse. The chap musta had a wild sense of humor.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Frog. Happy you found this funny. I promise to follow your advice and have a great 2012. You, too, my man.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Three "funny and an awesome and funny," Patti? You do know the right things to say. Thank you, and Happy New Year to you, too.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for loving this and the 'funny,' Ruby. It's always a delight to have you visit.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks, Dex, a very Happy Healthy New Year to you, too. There will definitely be more fun and puns until I run out of them. Thanks, too, for the up - the only way to go.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Rosemary. Give your granddaughter my regards. Happy to do my part by jogging little minds with Pythagorean theorems.

Thank you for loving this story, and may this coming year be your very best. I have spoken!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Mary. So it's been a long time since you thought of the Pythagorean theorem? Probably not as long as for me, m'dear. I knew the old goat personally.

He thought I was a 'funny girl,' too. Thanks for loving my Puns.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

So you noticed, Hilary, how cleverly I inserted those links. You are perspicacious beyond measure, m'luv. Thanks for your most gracious comments. It's always my treat to have you visit.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Nice to meet you here, Field-of-Flowers. Thanks for finding this pun, the deep groan and your laughter. No thanks necessary. It's entirely my pleasure.

Speaking of hippopotamus, you might enjoy my "Interview with Hippopotamus," another 'classic.'


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Regret you were getting 2 tents, Alastar, over this pun. Hope you are all better now. So, 'all's well that puns well?' That's so good I'll probably use it.

Ny sympathies to the chief - what a horrible way to go. But funny!


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

Your funny pun hubs are so clever and creative, drbj! They're all funny, but this is my favorite one so far. Until now, I've never thought that the Pythagorean theorem could be amusing!


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 4 years ago from India

Haha...wonderful start to the new year! :)


CMHypno profile image

CMHypno 4 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

You've cracked me up as usual drbj! I hope that you are going to keeping them coming in 2012, so that we can keep on laughing


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 4 years ago from London, UK

Oh, DRNJ, you are getting as bad as epigramman. Thank you for a good laugh it done me a world of good. Happy New Year.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Alicia. Delighted that this is your favorite funny pun - so far. Who would have thought this theorem could be funny? Surely not Pythagoras. Thanks for stopping by, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Feline, happy to have provided you with a wonderful start for the New Year. May you continue to enjoy laughter throughout the year.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, CM - I hope that the crack I am responsible for, unlike our friend, Humpty, is repairable. (Is that a word?)

Will do my best to keep the puns and Interviews coming in 2012, so that you and I can keep on laughing. It's the ONLY way to go!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

I'm getting as bad as Epigramman, Hanna? What a lovely thing to say. I take that as a superior compliment. Laugh away, my dear, I want you to be happy and healthy for the entire New Year.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago

Happy New Year Drbj, and a Wonderful Hub to start it off as well. Always Fun to come to see you!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

And a very happy, healthy New Year to you, too, b.M. It's always fun for me to see you here. Thanks for the 'wonderful.'


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 4 years ago from Nashville Tn.

Now my New Year is Happy! I knew something was missing and sure enough it was. Your remarkable gift for making me (and many many others) laugh. It is priceless and I treasure you for that. So, Happiest of New Years and a Merry Thankyou.

vocalcoach~


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Groaning big time, I wonder what you do for inspiration? I suppose that anything goes? Cannot wait to see what's next. Thank you drbj! Regards, snakeslane


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Awwww, Audrey, what a lovely thing to say. Now your New Year is happy. Funny, I was going to say the same thing. After reading your lovable comments, now my New Year is happy, too. May this year, m'dear, bring you nothing but the best in life. Accompanied by laughter, of course.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, sl. You asked what do I do for inspiration? Answer: damned if I know. These weird ideas just float around in my subconscious. Wait a sec. They seem to happen more when I skip my meds. Could that be ... naw, no way.

I can't wait to see what I come up with next either!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Well well well...what have we here! lol I had to go prospecting - I haven't been getting my notifications daily! And glad I didn't miss this!

You see I was feeling a little tents before I read it - but I am fine now! hahaha!

Thank you so much!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Well, I guess feeling a little tents, Kelly, is better than feeling a wee teepee ... or any pee for that matter.

You are so welcome, sweet one.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

I was wondering Dr. What fun things you do with your "other" spare time. You are just one silly . . .


Rebecca E. profile image

Rebecca E. 4 years ago from Canada

well you have done an awesome job you know that? well put, and had me in stiches-- err wrapping-- I don't know what!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Since you asked, Sharyn, with my other spare time I perform lobotomies (blindfolded) and take cruises to exotic ports like Devil's Island and the Bermuda Triangle.

Just kidding, of course, but what I do when given the opportunity and the appropriate compendium, is conduct motivational seminars with a bit of 'stand-up' cleverly concealed.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you for the 'awesome,' Becca, it means a lot coming from an accomplished writer like yourself. Had you in stitches, eh? One of my favorite things to do, you know.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

I loved this one just the tonic we all need on these bleak days.

Take care and enjoy your day my friend.

Eddy.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Providing you a tonic is my favorite thing to do, Eddy. Thanks for loving this one and you take care, too, m'dear.


charlie 3 years ago

My Name is charlie..I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster when I contact this man called Greatgumblaspellhome@gmail.com Execute some business..He is really powerful..My wife divorce me with no reason for almost 4 years and I tried all I could to have her back because I really love her so much but all my effort did not work out.. we met at our early age at the college and we both have feelings for each other and we got married happily for 5 years with no kid and she woke up one morning and she told me she’s going on a divorce..i thought it was a joke and when she came back from work she tender to me a divorce letter and she packed all her loads from my house..i ran mad and I tried all I could to have her back but all did not work out..i was lonely for almost 4 years…So when I told the spell caster what happened he said he will help me and he asked for her full name and her picture..i gave him that..At first I was skeptical but I gave it a try because have tried so many spell casters and there is no solution…so when he finished with the readings, he got back to me that she’s with a man and that man is the reason why she left me…The spell caster said he will help me with a spell that will surely bring her back.but I never believe all this…he told me I will see a positive result within 3 days..3 days later, she called me herself and came to me apologizing and she told me she will come back to me..I cant believe this, it was like a dream because I never believe this will work out after trying many spell casters and there is no solution..The spell caster is so powerful and after that he helped me with a pregnancy spell and my wife got pregnant a month later..we are now happy been together again and with lovely kid..This spell caster has really changed my life and I will forever thankful to him..he has helped many friends too with similar problem too and they are happy and thankful to him..This man is indeed the most powerful spell caster have ever experienced in life..Am Posting this to the Forum in case there is anyone who has similar problem and still looking for a way out..you can reach him here: Greatgumblaspellhome@gmail.com


drbj profile image

drbj 11 months ago from south Florida Author

Sorry, charlie, it took me so long to respond. I couldn't stop laughing.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working