Funny Pun about Brad and Lorraine and ClaraLee

Birds do it.
Birds do it. | Source

Funny Pun about Brad and Lorraine and ClaraLee

Love Triangle

Brad lived with Lorraine

In a condo – tenth floor.

For two years they were lovers

But Brad wanted more.


Lorraine was pretty,

Witty, nice, and curvy.

But Brad’s heart was cold,

No longer topsy-turvy.


True, they made love,

But it was sporadic.

The problem you see,

Brad was nomadic.

He often fantasized

Being with other gals.

He believed that Lorraine

And he were no more than pals.


Now the plot thickens,

You knew that it would.

Brad’s poor heart quickens,

He feels misunderstood.


That’s often a reason

Both tried and true.

Why men commit treason

Against the love they knew.

The cause of his ardor,

A lass named ClaraLee.

Made his heart beat harder

So beautiful was she.


But she had scruples,

Many more than Brad.

She would not date him

While another girl he had.


She told him she liked him

Much more than a brother.

But she could not love him

While he was with another.

Brad really did try

To break up with Lorraine.

Once on an airplane

And twice on a train.


Yes, Brad had a roving eye

But inside – still a nice guy.


He would take Lorraine out

For one final date.

Break the news to her

They weren’t destined to mate.


As they strolled by the river

Brad began confessing.

He was in love with ClaraLee

And sought Lorraine’s blessing.

"I Can See Clearly Now, the Rain Has Gone." Johnny Nash 1972

It was a chilly, rainy night

Lorraine began to shiver.

Turned away too quickly

And fell into the dark river.


The current was swift

And the light very dim

Lorraine soon drowned,

She never learned to swim.


Brad was devastated

But not for very long.

He started to smile

And began singing this song:

"I can see ClaraLee now, Lorraine has gone."

Bonus: world's worst short pun: Do you need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2011. Rev. 2014. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"

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Comments 66 comments

tnvrstar profile image

tnvrstar 5 years ago from doha, qatar

Lovely and sweet! Voted Up


mary615 profile image

mary615 5 years ago from Florida

How in the world do you think of these things??? The last line just cracked me up! You must have an extremely high IQ, cause only a genius would think like this! I mean that as a highest compliment. See you..


MPG Narratives profile image

MPG Narratives 5 years ago from Sydney, Australia

Even though I've heard both jokes I still laughed. How clever are you to create a poem around a pun, well done drbj.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

You really should be taken out and shot for that one. It was really funny though. I will be laughing till I go to bed. It even scans the same as the song. Simply genius.


Poetic Fool 5 years ago

I needed this laugh more than you know! Great job and thanks!


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Oh this one had me singing. I just love your poetic build ups.

Found this in my mail this morning so thought I would return the laugh.

Husband: "What are you doing?"

Wife: "Nothing."

Husband: "Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."

Wife: "I was looking for the expiration date."


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, tnvrstar, for the lovely and sweet. So are you. And the up. :)


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

And I will take that as the highest compliment, mary. Thank you. I'm kinda fond of that last line myself, too.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, MPG. Creating a poem round a pun is fun, fun fun. So far, that is. Delighted I gave you a laugh.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

What a nice compliment, christopher. Not the ought to be shot but the 'simply genius.' Love it, love it.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Nice to meet you, Poetic Fool. Funny, that's what some people have called me, too. Happy to give you a laugh. No thanks necessary.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

I think I heard you singing to this one from here, Rosemary. Loved the expiration date joke. Thank you. I'm sure I'll think of a way to use it at some point.


femmeflashpoint 5 years ago

Clara won't last long either.

I've heard her sister, Sarah, has eyes for Brad as well.

If Brad asks Clara for a walk along the river, she'd better run the other way. She simply can't compete, cause nobody does it like Sara Lee. ;)


CMHypno profile image

CMHypno 5 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

drbj that really made me laugh on this grey and windy morning! Poor old Lorraine! The lesson must be never try to swim and sing at the same time!


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

Up awesome and oh so funny. I love this!!!!


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 5 years ago from North America

Up, Awesome and Interesting - very cute with the pictures too. Thanks for giving me a smile.


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 5 years ago

LOL - great way with rhyming you have drbj and I got it this time!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa

Shame, poor Lorraine. I knew a woman who got herself accidentally killed in a car crash after her husband had asked her for a divorce in order for him to marry a woman he had fallen in love with. That was such a tragedy! Drbj, I don't think Brad will ever be happy with Clara Lee, because he is deep inside a good guy with a guilt complex... Or what do you say?

What a story! Voted up and tragic.

And BTW, the Law is going to drive him nuts. He will have to prove that he did not push Lorraine in the river....


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 5 years ago from Atlanta, GA

What a clever ending and what a surpise! I honestly thought somehow Sara Lee was going to enter the scene. But that's not even punny.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

Dr. BJ! Another outstanding pun poem! Those of us that think we are funny can learn lots from you! Voted up, up and away!


Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 5 years ago from Upstate New York

I had to read that last line, the kicker, twice before I got it! I think I'm getting slow in the head in my old age. Or maybe I can't see clearly until the rain has gone.

Hah! LOL!


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 5 years ago from India

Oh, you are priceless, drbj!! :)


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

I agree with Feline, you are worth more than gold. Funny pun with a catchy ending. LOL..


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Oh, I do like that, femmeflashpoint. "nobody does it like Sara Lee," you say. Could be another funny pun in there somewhere. You think Clara Lee's days are numbered, eh? Mebbe so. Thanks for stopping by with your incisive wit, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Delighted to see you here, CM, and so happy I made you laugh on a gray, windy morning. You are spot on, m'luv, one should never try to swim and sing at the same time. Those are mutually exclusive events if one does not want to sink. Thanks for the warning!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, bp, for the 'Up awesome and oh so funny.' You are my type of commenter. What a coincidence: you love this and I love you.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Patty. Delighted to have given you a smile. You gave me a big one, too, with your gracious comments and up vote. Thank you, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, psychicdog. Thank you for enjoying my rhyming and delighted you got it. I knew it was just a matter of time. Heh, heh. You are way ahead of the game. Sometimes folks never 'get it.'


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

What a terribly sad story, Martie, about the woman who was killed after learning her hubby wanted a divorce. Maybe it wasn't entirely an accident. Because she was so distraught. Who knows?

You have a point, my dear, about Brad. He may just be a guy who loves 'em and leaves 'em. But I like to think that if that's the case, one day he will be on the receiving end. Whatcha think? Thanks for the visit, that tragic story, and the up.

As far as the Law is concerned, if no one saw Lorraine fall into the river, he could be convicted on circumstantial evidence, but the case would be difficult to prove. Just sayin'.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Hilary, I love it when the punch line of a pun is a surpise. You are the second person who mentioned Sara Lee. There's got to be another story there. Maybe not punny, but it could be funny. No?


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Dex, for your visit and very gracious comments. It takes one to know one, you know. And thanks for the up vote - warms the cockles of my heart. There has to be a pun in there somewhere.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Dear Paradise, don't feel badly. Many puns require a reread before they make sense. And you could be right with your insightful, clever comment: You can't see clearly until the rain is gone. Very good, m'dear. You are far, far from being old with that repartee.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Feline. You are priceless, too. But I do have a price. It's just that no one has ever been able to raise that much money. Heh, heh.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Ah, Ruby, you are getting close to my price with that comment about gold. Would you like to try diamonds, m'dear?

Delighted you enjoyed this funny pun with the catchy ending. Me, too. (No humility gene here.)


carcro profile image

carcro 5 years ago from Winnipeg

That's great, never saw it coming, hahaha! Voted up and Awesome...


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you for not seeing it coming, carcro. That's my greatest reward next to coin of the realm, that is. The up and Awesome is much appreciated, too.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Wow Drbj - this sounded a lot like my life with Dave until the whole falling in the river thing:) he didn't get that lucky! Haha! I didn't expect that ending either:) hilarious!


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Too slow this morning. Had to to sing the song before I caught on ! LOL


John MacNab profile image

John MacNab 5 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence

Groooaaannn! I love it, drbj. It took me a few seconds, just like 'just ask susan,' but that made my slap to the forehead even harder.

Did you hear the Glasgow Herald funny:-

'I saw this cute young thing in the pub the other night' said the pub loudmouth. 'So I went up and asked her what her name was.'

'Chantelle,' she said.

So I told her, 'Come on, you can tell me.'


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon

Well, now you did it - I will never be able to hear that song and not put your words to the tune!

Chuckling away in Central Oregon - I got it first time around and not sure why it was not crystal clear to everyone immediately - even got the tune! Of course that comes with being a smartass perhaps in all things.

Gotta love Chantelle - that is definitely a groan~


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

You never know, Kelly, since I always change the names to protect the guilty. Think about this. Dave has 4 letters. Brad has 4 letter. Coincidence?

Happy I could surprise you with the ending - one of my favorite things to do you know. Thanks for the 'hilarious,' m'luv.


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

Hi drbj, what a cleverly constructed poem with a fantastic ending, I'm still smiling thinking about it. There's nowt wrong with corny, if it makes you laugh and brightens your day. Ten out of ten for this brilliantly sides splittingly hilarious and funny hub. Cheers


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

I had to hit every button on this. Very intriguing and fun but I am feeling sad for Lorraine.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Don't give it another thought, Susan. You were not too slow. The punchline was too fast. And look at the positive. It gave you an opportunity to start the day with a song. Heh, heh.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Please be careful, John, with those slaps to the forehead. I would not want you to knock yourself out. Devoted followers are too hard to find. Thanks for the additional groan, too.

And thanks for your Glasgow 'Chantelle' funny. I know I can find a place to use it one day.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I love it! Next time use our real names! Haha!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Hope I did't ruin that pretty song for you, Audrey. I have the same problem. Putting the words in my pun to the tune every time I hear it.

And of course you got it first time around. That is definitely due to your superior intellect and not the fact that you and I may be familiar with the original tune - from the Dark Ages. Well, not really the Dark Ages for you, m'dear, just for me. More like the Dim Ages before they got completely Dark for you.

Loved Chantelle, eh? Anyone who loves a 'groaner' is a buddy of mine. :)


Derdriu 5 years ago

drbj: What an amusing, diverting, entertaining, hilarious poetic bit of dramatic, philosophical, punning fun! The triangular saga of Brad, Clara and Lorraine stands on its own, but the world's worse pun keeps the party going.

Each funny pun sounds like more!

Thank you for sharing your humorous creativity, voted up, etc.,

Derdriu


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you so much, Keith, for your gracious comments. Still smiling? That's the greatest compliment of all. I fervently believe what you wrote: "There's nowt wrong with corny, if it makes you laugh and brightens your day." Amen!

And a ten out ten score? Who could ask for anything more?

You added to my Aussie education with 'nowt.' I like it - saves time. Unless I forget and spell it 'newt.'


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Linda - thanks for pushing all those buttons. And the lovely comments. You have a very kind heart but I have the information from a very trusted source (Zeus in my next Interview) that Lorraine is in a far, far better place. Trust me.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Dang, Kelly, I thought those WERE your real names!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

What a treat, Derdriu. to pull you away from your fantastic, fascinating, fulsome fish tales long enough for a visit here. You are indeed a champion of laudatory loquacity. And welcome ... any time!

Delighted you found this funny pun amusing, et al. I will keep on until I run out of punny material which may be happening as I write.

Regardless, it has been my pleasure to share and I do appreciate your approbation and the up and etc.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago

Now that the dark clouds have drifted away...I loved the clever, dark Humor, of this "Funny Pun" Darbj...A real Fun Read!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Anyone who loves clever, dark humor is a pal of mine, b. Thanks for loving this 'fun read.'


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 5 years ago from London, UK

Thank you for a good laugh which I could do with. You are a great writer. Really I am serious.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

And you are a fantastic and amazing commenter. I'm serious, too. Thank you for the 'great writer' comment - that wins bunches of Brownie points from me. Delighted I gave you a good laugh. Funny Pun #8 coming soon.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

I have no comment. Seriously, I have no comment. I am LOL'ing though. Thought you should know.

Oh okay, just one link:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/nut


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

I have no comment either, Sharyn. Oh, wait a minute, Yes, I do. Thank you for LOLing and the nut definitions. I like 'original' and 'zany' is okay but I'm not too fond of the other meanings. But I do appreciate the link . . . I think. :)


sligobay profile image

sligobay 4 years ago from east of the equator

I love this song and I noah guy.... nicely done.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

And I love you for your comments. Happy, Healthy, Prosperous New Year to you and yours.


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

I can see Clara Lee now...groan...funny punny drbj. You tell such a nice long poetic tale to get us to the river, and then you really deliver. Happy New Year! sl


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, sl - I see you are making the rounds of the punny funs, I mean, funny puns. More power to you, m'dear. Delighted you enjoyed this one. Loved your line: '... poetic tale to get us to the river, and then you really deliver.' I'll find a way to use it, y'know. A very Happy New Year to you, too.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

I had to come back to read this line, " I can see Clara Lee now, Lorraine has gone " Hee


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Clara Lee, Brad and I thank you, too, for coming back, Ruby. No word though from Lorraine ... yet!

Oh, and thanks for the hee!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago

AH HA! Shades of Johnny Nash, was it?

I loved your clever and pithy poem. Nice PUNch line. Enjoyed very much. Thank you!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Yes, James, that was Johnny Nash singing what may have been his biggest hit. Thank you for loving my clever and pithy poem. Ith not eathy theth dayth to get pith. And you liked the PUNch line, you clever fellow, you. Thank you for that, too.

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