Funny Pun - Number Six
Funny Pun - Number Six
Saga of Dick and Jane
Dick and Jane Hill were newly weds
Who lived in Pennsylvania.
On their honeymoon they chose
To drive through Transylvania.
The road was deserted
With very little light.
The moon was hidden,
Not a soul was in sight.
Soon a heavy fog rolled in
Now Dick could hardly see.
He lost control of the car
And smashed hard into a tree.
For a moment, all goes black,
Dick’s hurt, there’s no denying.
He looks over at Jane.
She looks like she is dying.
He must get help at once
But his cellphone doesn’t work.
He calls himself a dunce,
He didn’t upgrade; what a jerk!
There’s a path beside the road
He hopes it leads to a house.
He carefully lifts Jane.
There is blood on her blouse.
Suddenly he sees a dim light
And yells “Help” with all his might.
A small bent man appears
Like a ghost in the night.
“There’s been a bad accident,
I’m Dick Hill – Jane is my wife.
We need to phone a doctor
To save my dear wife’s life.”
“Come with me to the castle
It is just around the bend.
My master is a doctor.
He will help your wife to mend.”
Dick gently carries Jane
Through the castle portal.
The doctor meets them there,
He looks somewhat immortal.
“The hospital is miles away,
And much too far a distance.
You both are in a bad way,
May I offer you assistance?”
Dick has now completely collapsed.
The doctor prescribes a transfusion.
Igor, his aide, takes them to the lab
To lie on tables in seclusion.
Both patients are now critical
And take their final breath.
The doctor and his aide, Igor,
Are shocked by their sudden death.
Doctor Frankenstein is upset,
He really needs to relax.
So he goes upstairs to his den
To play his tenor sax.
Beautiful music fills the air,
The sounds relieve his sadness.
Music ‘soothes the savage breast’
And protects us all from madness.
'Clair de Lune' by Debussy
The doctor plays his favorite,
A passage from ‘Clair de Lune.’
It permeates the castle
This haunting, melodic tune.
Meanwhile Igor is still in the lab,
For some unknown reason he lingers.
Wait a minute! Did Dick twitch a toe?
Did Jane start moving her fingers?
Suddenly, Dick opens his eyes
Then so does Jane, his wife.
They are not dead; they did not die.
They both are full of life.
Igor yells at the top of his voice,
“Master, master, we can rejoice.
They are not dead, they survive.
The Hills are alive . . .
. . . with the sound of music!”
A good pun is its own reword.
Julie Andrews in 'The Sound of Music' won Best Picture Academy Award 1965
© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2011. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"
- Funny Pun - Number One
Are puns the lowest form of humor? Who cares? I love them. Read about 'Stanley the Snail.' Didja know he was a hermaphrodite?
- Funny Pun – Number Two
Did you know that Leo the Lion was involved in the study of immortality? So were seagulls.
- Funny Pun - Number Three
John's son survived ... there was just one little problem ...
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