Funny Pun about the Head

The Head

John was so happy

At everyone he smiled.

His wife was delivering

Their very first child.


His joy was short lived

He soon had to mourn.

His wife had expired

When his son was born.


But the boy survived

Just one problem, y’know.

He had no legs . . .

No arms . . . no torso.


There was just a head,

Handsome, it’s true,

But no other parts

Which ever grew.

John loved his son

And kept him alive

Because of his love

The Head did thrive.


John taught his son

In his home school.

He kept him at home,

Kids can be so cruel.


He fashioned a box

With a one-way screen.

The Head could see out

But no one could see in.


John took his son with him

To all sporting events

Football, baseball, tennis,

He spared no expense.


The Head loved movies

He knew all the stars.

He enjoyed the races,

Whether horses or cars.

Before very long

The Head was twenty-one.

John was so proud

Of his only son.


Let us celebrate,

You are a man, I see.

We will go to a bar

Your first drink is on me.


John ordered a whiskey

The patrons and bartender were in awe

Watching a Head drinking

Was the strangest thing they ever saw.


The Head made a face

At the whiskey’s taste

But drank it down

Without a smile or frown.

The weirdest thing happened

They all gave a big shout

Do you know what it was?

The Head’s torso popped out.


They all were in shock,

How could this be?

John begged his son

Drink another for me.


The customers all chanted

Drink, drink, drink!

So John’s son had one more.

And what do you think?


Two arms popped out.

The people went wild.

The son drank one more

No longer a child.

You know what came next

Two legs popped out.

Everyone in the bar

Gave a tremendous shout.


The bar was in chaos

Some patrons were praying

John’s son was now tipsy,

His body was swaying.


He stumbled through the door

Trying out his new legs

He almost fell on the floor

It was like walking on eggs.


He lurched and he staggered

And fell into the street.

Where a two-ton truck hit him

And made him mincemeat.

The Head ... R.I.P.
The Head ... R.I.P.

Everyone in the bar

Was shocked beyond belief

John fell to the ground

Devastated by his grief.


The bartender sighed

And this is what he said:

“That boy should have quit . . .

. . . While he was a Head!”


I am an incorrigible punster. Maybe you should not ‘incorrige’ me.

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2011. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So" Amazon.com

More by this Author


Comments about Funny Pun about the Head 59 comments

snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 5 years ago from Canada

OMG! drbj! your humour is way over my head! Regards, snakeslane


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Way over your HEAD, eh? You are my kind of commenter, snakeslane. Thank you for being the first.


Wrath Warbone profile image

Wrath Warbone 5 years ago from Cleveland, Ohio

Shocking! What is the world coming to when a good head can't have a drink without being punished for it?


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Oh my, my head is spinning over your punny poems.


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

haha yes I do like this one.

He should have kept his head instead of getting legless and gaining his legs.

I'm not sure if I'm making sense anywhere today.


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 5 years ago from India

Ouch!!! That was cruel, drbj...and yet I head for every hub that you write! :D


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

It is shocking, Wrath. Things aren't bad enough economically without this added punishment. Loved your line: "What is the world coming to when a good head can't have a drink without being punished for it?" Thanks for the visit and the 'bon mot.'


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

So your head is spinning over my punny poems, Becky. That's even more than I could hope for, my dear. Thank you.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Cruel, eh, Feline, And yet you 'head' for every hub that I write! Ah, that was a good one, m'luv. Touche!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Do not worry about making sense on one of my 'punny' hubs, Rosemary. Why should you? I don't! Thank you for your comments and liking this one. I like you, too.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

After this - they need to have a wild! Button!

That was super entertaining and my eyes were glued to word after fascinating choice of word....all the way to the fascinating end!

My step dad was the kind of guy who - if you'd lost a leg - he'd say be happy you got another one.....look at the people who have none....now here's a case of someone who would be hard ta beet! LOL.


habee profile image

habee 5 years ago from Georgia

LOL!! I'm beginning to worry about your mental health, my friend. Voted up and funny.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

HP needs a 'wild' button, Kelly? That's one of the nicest things you ever said to me. Thanks for visiting, your choice of the adjective, 'fascinating,' and including that touching remark of your stepdad.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Do not worry, Holle, the state of my mental health is indisputable. If it weren't for those strange voices, I would have nothing to write. Heh, heh. Thank you, m'luv, for the up and funny. So are you.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Yes I'm contacting hub team immediately to request a wild button!


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 5 years ago from Atlanta, GA

This is one of the most moving stories every told. It's not every piece of poetry that evokes both tears of laughter as well as tears of sorrow. And 10 points for avoiding any mention of the song, "I ain't got nobody". I'm also a sucker for rhyming poetry (a lost art these days) so bravo Doc. I think you have a keen head on your shoulders.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon

Voted up and hilarious - and why didn't I see that one coming?

Great job, BJ~!


RedElf profile image

RedElf 5 years ago from Canada

The doctor was definitely in the house today! You have a head start on the rest of us, but I fear we are all heading in the same direction - your poetry reminds me of a favorite hymn "Over my head, I hear music in the air..."

Cheers!


anglnwu profile image

anglnwu 5 years ago

Funny and tragic--good thing --it's just a poem. You've do have a knack for inventing these hilarious poems--love it and love it.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa

Wow! Brilliant! I'm in awe. Probably because I knew a head like that. Only he was a boy who had developed into a head, then he changed into a boy again because he drank too much. So the community hit him and made mincemeat of him. Your head in here was born a head. Now that makes this pun a tragedy. Bravo drbj! This is but only my interpretation of this excellent pun of yours. Perhaps I've seen only the ear of this hippo-of-a-pun?


mary615 profile image

mary615 5 years ago from Florida

I could just see this story unfold in my head as it went along. It's different, but very witty!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago

Didn't see that Ending Coming...So glad I stopped by to read #3...I now feel like I'm a HEAD for a while!


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

OMG, This is soo funny.

I do wish the head had only drank wine

With his new found organ

The Girls 'wooda' stood in line.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

It is a sad story really. Gave me a headache. What a way to go!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

Hi Dr. BJ! Well, I thought I would get a head-start on bed tonight but this will keep me up and laughing for awhile!!


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 5 years ago from malang-indonesia

My friend, you make me smile again. I love the way you share between funny and tragic at the same time. Again, you have done a great job. Rated up and have a nice weekend!

Prasetio


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Yes, by all means, Kelly, do request a 'wild' button. But perhaps you shouldn't mention my name. They already think I am!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

I knew that you, Hilary, would appreciate the bathos and pathos represented by this remarkable tale. Thanks for reminding me of that great song I neglected to include. Probably because I didn't want to exacerbate poor John's grief. I will accept the 10 points though.

Thank you bunches for your visit and your outstanding approbation. A keen Head, eh. Takes one to know one, m'luv.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Audrey, for the up and hilarious. I feel the same way about you. May even dedicate a future pun to your Mals. Delighted you didn't see this one coming - makes it all the more fun. ;)


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Love your clever comment, Elle, you are miles ahead of the rest of us jumping headfirst and headlong into the fray. Have to stop now, I'm getting a headache.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, anginwu, for appreciating my combination of comedy and tragedy and loving my 'hilarious' poems. It's either a knack or a kneurosis.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

A hippo-of-a-pun, Martie? Oh, my dear girl, you may have gone over the edge. Welcome to my world. I will make sure you get the room next to mine with the extra padding on the walls. Thank you for the brilliant and the bravo - you are soooo perceptive.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Gee, mary, if you saw this story unfolding in your head, you are as witty and different as me. Welcome to the cell next to Martie and me. And thanks for stopping by.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, b. Yup, the ending does kinda sneak up on you. I'm glad you stopped by, too. Like I always say, it's so much better to be aHead than to be Behind. Right?


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Oh, Ruby, your comment was so risque,

I just do not know what I should say.

Oh, yes, I do.

Thank you! thank you!

Because you are so very clever,

I am now in your debt forever. :)


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

I'm so sorry this sad short story of the Head's sudden demise gave you a headache, christopher, my dear. I'll try to cheer you up anon with funny pun #4.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Dex.

Do regret that I delayed your head-start on sleepy-time. Do hope that you slept well despite this gruesome rhyme.

Thanks for the laughter.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Dear pras - it is always my extreme pleasure to make you smile. Just as it is my pleasure to have you visit me. Thank you. And you have a glorious weekend, too.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

(groan)

These are the worst (and funniest) puns I have ever had the misfortune to read!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

You are my hero, Will. You did and said everything an avid punster could hope for: a groan ... and a comment: "worst and funniest ..." Thank you!


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

OMG that funny!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Susan. for your short but sweet, succinct 'funny' comment.


Derdriu 5 years ago

drbj: Ouch!

Thank you, voted up, etc.,

Derdriu


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

I like 'Ouch!', Derdriu, almost as much as I appreciate groans. Thank you for the visit and the up, m'dear.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Hi Dr,

I've been reading a lot of hubs today and finally, FINALLY, I truly laughed out loud. Has anyone told you that you are a nut? A fun nut that is!

Sharyn


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Finally laughed out loud, Sharon? What a fabulous compliment. Do peruse the other five funny puns for more chuckles, m'dear.

Haven't been called a genuine nut ... yet. But a nutcase? Too many times to mention.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK

I tried not to, but I laughed anyway. You are a twisted punster.voted up!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

A 'twisted punster,' Docmo? That's the nicest thing you ever said to me. Thank you for laughing and the up!


Springboard profile image

Springboard 4 years ago from Wisconsin

I should have seen that coming. Hook line and sinker. lol. Very nice.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Did I really 'gotcha,' Jim. That made MY day. Thanks for the visit and the appreciation.


Springboard profile image

Springboard 4 years ago from Wisconsin

Yes. You did. :)


sligobay profile image

sligobay 4 years ago from east of the equator

Better to be a nice head than 4-limbed and dead. Don't cross the street in the middle of the block!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Now you tell him, Gerry. Where were you when the Head needed you? Thanks for the visit. Your comments are always appreciated.


ytsenoh profile image

ytsenoh 4 years ago from Louisiana, Idaho, Kauai, Nebraska, South Dakota, Missouri

This is a delight. Well written and humorous and effective language for visual representation. Thanks!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

What a lovely literate commenht, ytsenoh. Thank you for your visit and approbation. They are both equally appreciated. It's my pleasure


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

Wow, this was a captivating story, and it provoked various emotions from happiness to sadness... And what a moral! I laughed in the middle, cried at the end, but now I am stunned because it so damn true - We seldom use our heads while we have it... or do we really have heads?

We live/drink life/wine until Fate turns us into mincemeat, and then we realize we were in fact @ssholes....

I could see this like a movie - the popping out of the body, arms and legs... Hilarious!

Voted up and funny, but also thought-provoking :)


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

You are correct, Martie, this was one of my more philosophical punny creations fashioned to provoke both happiness and grief in the reader. Thank you for understanding its preternatural profundity.

Your comments have inspired me to ponder on the possibility of creating an animated film - something in the nature of 'Pinnochio' to emphasize the mundane morality to say nothing of mortality inherent in this play on words.

But all these long words are making my head hurt, so I will end for now and just say that you, my dear, are thought-provoking. Oh, and thanks for the funny and the Up. You ARE a dear.


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 3 years ago from sunny Florida

O my....do you have a book(s)? These 'punnies' (sorry) need to be assembled into a collection.....thanks for sharing.

Have a lovely rest of the weekend

Angels are on the way :) ps


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

I have thought of creating two or three new ebooks, Patricia - one for my funny puns and one or perhaps two for my supernatural interviews. Thanks for prodding me with your sweet suggestion. May you have a lovely rest-of-the-weekend, too.

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