Funny Pun about Gorilla

Funny Pun about Gorilla

A fellow from the Czech Republic

Came to New York to visit a friend.

He was on a two-week vacation

And had plenty of money to spend.


His friend took some time off from work,

And they visited every site.

Museums and art shows during the day,

Stage plays and cafes every night.


The two of them made the rounds

Of all the night clubs on their list.

They picked up women in town,

Not one attraction did they miss.


On his last day in New York,

When asked, ‘Whatcha want to do?’

The Czech specifically said,

‘I would like to visit the zoo.’


Wild animals were his passion,

All monkeys held fascination.

Especially chimps and gorillas,

Ranked high in his admiration.


‘We could visit Central Park Zoo,’

Said his host. ‘It’s small but very pretty.

And it is much more convenient

Since it is located in the city.’


‘Or we could take the subway,

And visit the old Bronx Zoo.

It’s a world-class facility.

Which one would you like to view?’


‘Why, the Bronx Zoo, of course,’

Said the Czech with no hesitation.

‘I have read about that famous zoo,

And its renowned reputation.’


So the two spent the entire day,

Ending up at the gorilla park.

It was surrounded by a moat

And now beginning to get dark.


The Czech got way too close,

And although light was getting dim,

One of the two huge gorillas

Snatched and quickly swallowed him.


‘Oh, my God,’ yelled his friend,

As he screamed for assistance.

Fortunately, the zoo keeper

Was within shouting distance.


Running over with his axe, he asked,

‘Was it the male or the female?’

‘How the heck should I know,

It was too dark to see that detail!’


‘Think, man, think,’ said the Zoo Keeper,

‘If you want your friend to survive.

Quickly, was it male or female?

So your friend, I can revive!’


‘It was the female,’ said the shocked guy.

The keeper split her bottom to neck.

‘There’s nothing there,’ the keeper said,

‘And definitely, no Czech.’


The New Yorker shrugged and said,

‘Well, it is the same old tale.

You win some and you lose some.

Guess the Czech … is in the male!’

Gotcha!
Gotcha!

Did I just hear a collective, monumental groan? If so, here is a joke to make you laugh and not moan.

Gorilla Joke

A guy walked into the pro-shop at the golf course with a gorilla. "Is anyone interested in a little wager? I've got $200 here that says my gorilla can hit the ball longer and straighter than anybody here at this club."

Everyone in the pro-shop started laughing. The newest pro at the club spoke up, "I'll take you up on that wager. Meet you on the first tee."

When they reached the 585-yard par-5 first tee, the owner led his gorilla to the tee and put a driver in his hands. The gorilla smashed his drive right down the middle of the fairway and out of sight. The ball finally stopped on the green, six inches from the cup.

The pro was astonished. "That's incredible! There's no need for me to even tee off. Here's your money."

As the pro walked off the green, still shaking his head, he turned back to the owner of the gorilla and said, "By the way, how does he putt?"

The owner responded, "Just like he drives: 500 yards, right down the middle, every time."

Note to my faithful followers and Hub-buddies: I will not be available to respond to your gracious and welcome comments, nor comment on your excellent hubs for the next two weeks. When I return, I will make up for lost time. Promise! Hugs to you all.

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2013. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So." Learn to write a dynamic resume and cover letter, network effectively, interview confidently, and negotiate salary.

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Comments for Funny Pun about Gorilla 100 comments

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Thanks for the gorilla giggle!


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 3 years ago from Ontario, Canada

LOL

Whenever I need a good laugh

I always know where to come

Sorry drbj

I now have to run :)


John MacNab profile image

John MacNab 3 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence

Yes, you heard a collective, monumental groan - but then it changed into a laugh. I don't know how you do it drbj, but please, please keep on doing it. See you in 2 weeks, take care.


Alphadogg16 profile image

Alphadogg16 3 years ago from Texas

Very nice and funny hub......thumbs up!


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 3 years ago from Texas

Wow Doc....You blind-sided me with that one and I had a good laugh. Lots of fun in that poem! ~WB


vertualit profile image

vertualit 3 years ago from Bangladesh

LOL, very funny hub. Thanks for sharing...


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa

Only drbj will leave us with a funny poem and joke to ponder. Lol! You'll be missed, but fortunately 2 weeks will be over in no time. I hope you are going on a holiday and not to one of those zoos where people are tortured until they entertain others with funny puns?

Take care, my dear drbj! I look forward to your return :)


billybuc profile image

billybuc 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

Do you make these up? I swear you are hilarious? I'd heard the golfing joke, but the pun is a classic. Very well done my friend. I needed a laugh today and you came through in flying colors.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 3 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

What a super Hub! Up and very punny!


Rolly A Chabot profile image

Rolly A Chabot 3 years ago from Alberta Canada

Hi drbj... I would put my money on the Gorilla any day... especially after a number of years in the business... a little secret... please don't put your money on me... lol... well done and thanks for the laugh...

Hugs and Blessings from Alberta


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 3 years ago from sunny Florida

Laughing laughing laughing....love this. Thanks for the chuckles this evening....I love your wit....Angels are on the way :) ps


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 3 years ago from sunny Florida

Laughing laughing laughing....love this. Thanks for the chuckles this evening....I love your wit....Angels are on the way :) ps


agapsikap profile image

agapsikap 3 years ago from Philippines

This is hilarious.. lol.


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 3 years ago from San Francisco

Thank you for the laughs. Enjoy your time off.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

LOL funny! Have a great time. Are you going to rhe zoo?


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

Love it and thank you so much for sharing.

Eddy.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 3 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

Great pun. I really laughed out loud at that one and it takes a lot to make me laugh. Cheers!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 3 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Groan!


precy anza profile image

precy anza 3 years ago from San Diego

Enjoyed every bits of it ^-^' That's hilarious. We'll see in two weeks! :)


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

Thanks for another funny article, drbj. Your pun hubs are so amusing!


Crystal Tatum profile image

Crystal Tatum 3 years ago from Georgia

Love it - what more can I say?


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

LOL, you should do stand-up! We will miss you, and look forward to your return! Thanks for the laughs always.

Reminds me of when my children we small and I would tell them funny stories I would just make up, and they would laugh to no end! So, I told them that I wanted to go on the road and do stand-up, well, really, I wanted to do sit-down, as that standing up all the time would get old. (moan) ha

Blessings, Faith Reaper


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 3 years ago from India

Haha...that's what they call a Czech mate?!!


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

drbj,

Oh my lanta this has to be about the funniest thing I've ever read... Ha the Czech is in the male! I'll be laughing all day, thanks! I think I'll try repeating this to anyone who will listen! Too funny!

Cat


mary615 profile image

mary615 3 years ago from Florida

You know me and how long it takes me to "catch on" to a joke! Once I get it I have a good laugh, though. My kids will tell me a joke and wait for me to laugh: finally I get it! Well, finally I got it! I had a good laugh.

See you when you get back from wherever it is you are going!

Voted UP, and shared.


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 3 years ago from New York

Hysterical! You have THE most creative and entertaining mind. I hope your time away is a vacation and you come back revved up and ready to write more puns and hubs or should that be hubs and puns? Either way enjoy and thanks for the smile I'll be wearing all day.

Voted up, funny, and awesome. Oh, I pinned this one and shared it on FB.


Kathryn Stratford profile image

Kathryn Stratford 3 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

Both of these jokes are funny, as well as clever! Voted up. I hope you have a great 2 weeks away.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 3 years ago

You never disappoint! Enjoy your time off and you will be missed. Voted up and funny.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Thanks for the laughs!......"the Czech is in the mail."....Ohhhhhhhhhhhwaaaaaa. That's a HUGE groaner! LOL! UP & FUNNY!


Vickiw 3 years ago

Always love your ability to incorporate wonderful humour into your Hubs and comments!


SilentReed profile image

SilentReed 3 years ago from Philippines

As long as there is sufficient funds and not a bouncing Czech, the Gorilla will be fine. :)


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

You are most welcome, Kelly. It is my pleasure and privilege to provide that gorilla giggle. :)


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Now that you have the address, Susan, come back any time.

To leave your so sweet comments and to make them rhyme.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

As long as that collective, monumental groan changed into a laugh, John, then I have accomplished my mirthful mission. I will do my best to 'keep on doing it.' You take care, too.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Alphadogg - thanks for the visit and the thumbs up. If you are a pun-lover, take a look at the other 20 or so. Guaranteed to be groan-provoking!


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks, Wayne, for having a good laugh with this one. Providing a bit of humor is the least I could do to thank you for all your serious and right-on-topic writings. Don't stop!


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Nice to meet you, vertualit, especially since you found this hub very funny. No thanks necessary - the pleasure was mine!


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Martie - I'm baaaaack! Thank you for pondering my funny pun and joke while I was away. The two weeks seemed like a century. Love your zoo comment and thanks for looking forward to my return.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

To answer your question, Billy, Yes, some of these puns I make up, some I find in esoteric places, and all of them, I turn into verse. Happy I provided a laugh when you needed it. Any time, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

What a super comment, Will, and thank you for the Up.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

You are so right, Rolly, never mess with a Gorilla. Now I'm curious. What 'business' were you in? Providing the laugh was my pleasure. Thanks for the Hugs and Blessings.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Providing the chuckles is my pleasure, Patricia. Thank you for loving this and repeatedly laughing.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Nice to meet you, agapsikap. Thanks for the 'hilarious.'


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Martin. You are most welcome. I HAD to take that time off but I did not, unfortunately, much enjoy it. But thanks for the good wishes.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

Haha! really funny stuff! thanks for the laugh, nell


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

Hello my dear friend and welcome back to your Hub home for I have missed you very much. Thank you too for your thoughtfulness and sending me a beautiful birthday card - that really made my day.

And yes as I can see and read here - you and I are very much kindred spirits in the humor department aren't we. lol

Sending you 3 big Canadian hugs from Colin, Tiffy and Gabriel at lake erie time canada 10:53pm with full moon over the lake


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 3 years ago from California

Great laugh to end my day.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa

Thought I just check in to see if you are really baaaackkk :) Welcome, welcome, welcome! Flowers will now pop-up in every corner and balloons will fall from the ceiling :)


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

No, it wasn't the zoo, dear Ruby, but there were a lot of really funny medical people there.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

And I love you, Eddy, for loving it. Sharing is my pleasure, too, y'know.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

I think I may have heard you laugh out loud all the way over here on the other side of the pond, Chris. Thanks for the visit and cheers backatcha.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Now that, Lela, was what I call a GROAN!!! Music to my ears, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for enjoying every hilarious bit, precy. I'm baaack!


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for finding my pun hubs amusing, Alicia, just as I find your medical hubs amazing.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Nice to meet you, Crystal. Happy you loved this punny hub. What more can I say?


btrbell profile image

btrbell 3 years ago from Mesa, AZ

So funny! You made my night!Thank you! Up++


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for missing me, Faith. I do perform stand-up in a way. 90% of my 'motivational' speeches are delivered with the anticipation of eliciting laughter. Which - so far - happens most of the time.

Those funny stories you made up for your children would make wonderful reading. I anticipate reading about them one day. Love your 'sit-down' comment. The older I get, the more appealing that is! :)


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Very funny, Feline, m'luv. Czech mate? Wish I had thought of that.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Cat - what a pleasure to see you here. Thanks for the genuine laughing and repetition of this pun to anyone you find. Be my guest, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Waiting a while to get the joke, mary, is the ultimate compliment, you know. It tells me you are thinking about the narration and mulling over the consequences. Delighted you had a good laugh, m'luv, and thanks for the Up and sharing.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Hysterical, eh? I can see your mind runs in the same direction as mine, Mary. Pore dear! Delighted you wore that smile all day. Thanks for the sublime adjectives, the pinning and Facebooking, too.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Kathryn, for finding the pun and the joke funny and clever. The Up vote is appreciated, too, m'dear. It's my pleasure to have you visit.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

So happy I was missed and that I never disappoint, bp. What a lovely thing to say. Thanks for the Up and funny, too, m'luv.

Can you believe all the WH scandals that occurred during the time I was away? Unbe-freakin'-lievable.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

So the 'Czech in the male' was a huge groaner, Paula? You ain't seen nuthin' yet, my dear. Thanks for the visit, the laugh, the Up and the funny.

You are much appreciated.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

What a sweet (and absolutely true, of course) comment, Vicki. Thank you, thank you!

Aha! So you noticed the comments, too? You ARE a BFF.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Happy you found this to be really funny stuff, Nell. Thanks for your fine-tuned sense of humor and the laugh. :)


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you for the sweet welcome back, Colin. So happy the birthday card meant something to you. Yes, I do agree. You and I are very much kindred spirits if you mean we tend to see the world and the people in it sometimes in a slightly skewed - but always humorous - way.

Hugs backatcha and the pussy cats.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

So happy I could provide a great laugh to end your day, tireless. Now I'll have to see what I can do to help you start the day in that fashion. My laughter begins when upon arising I look into my bathroom mirror! :)


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Awwwww, you are so lovable, Martie. Thanks for the welcome-back but I am now, thanks to you, knee-deep in balloons and flowers. A lovely place to be.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Randi. What a lovely feeling to know that my funny pun made your night. Hmmmmm! We've got to get you out more, m'dear!

And thanks for the Up with pluses.


btrbell profile image

btrbell 3 years ago from Mesa, AZ

lol! I think you may be right about getting out more, but I will still love your puns!


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

And you know I was just joshin'. Love you for loving my puns.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 3 years ago

I'm Back, and I SO missed your Humor DRBJ. I used to visit "The Bronx Zoo" after my first Son was born and we were living near by..It was always a treat to see. Anyway, Thanks for a GOOD LAUGH!


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 3 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

I've heard that puns are the lowest form of humor. Whoever said that did not explain. I tend to think it means basic, that upon which the rest is built. Or it could mean lowbrow. Either way keep it up. Like on facebook, tweeting.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

A most hearty welcome back, Barbara. I was away, too, for a couple of weeks. Happy I could bring back some deja vu with this gorilla of the Bronx Zoo tale. As for the good laugh, you are more than welcome, m'dear. Quid pro quo, you know.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Don. I think that the saying: 'puns - lowest form of humor' probably came from genuine poets who were jealous of the puns' popularity. Thanks for enjoying this - will keep it up as long as imagination provides the fuel.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 3 years ago from Central Oregon

BJ--too hilarious as usual and gotta love that I didn't even see it coming. The gorilla golfer sounds vaguely familiar and I believe why I gave up golf pretty much. Hope your 2 weeks off are for fun and see ya on the next tee~


Thelma Alberts profile image

Thelma Alberts 3 years ago from Germany

Hilarious!!!! Thanks for the laugh. I enjoyed it very much;-)


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 3 years ago from East Coast, United States

Hi bj - I hope you are doing well. Since you didn't have any fun during your absence from HP, maybe it's time you did. You deserve a great time after you've given us all so much to laugh about.


Scribenet profile image

Scribenet 3 years ago from Ontario, Canada

I did the collective groan after the poem...and I will have to share the golfing gorilla joke with some golf enthusiasts! Enjoy your time off!


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida

Hahahaha the check is in the mail. I love it thanks for the laugh.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for finding this hilarious as usual - what a thrill that I gotcha with the ending. How can you say you don't golf, Audrey. You often 'drive,' use an 'iron' when absolutely necessary, and 'putter' around in your kitchen when preparing 'tee.' Right?

Unfortunately, my 2 weeks off were not for fun but all is well again.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for the 'Hilarious!!!!' Thelma. I enjoyed your enjoying it very much.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Awww, thank you, Dolores, for your sweet wishes. Delighted I have given you so much to laugh about. Will do my best to continue providing legendary laughter. Well, at the very least - chuckles.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for loving this, KKGals. Your check for laughing is now in the mail. :)


akirchner profile image

akirchner 3 years ago from Central Oregon

Bummer...wishing you all the hugs and best wishes in the world--and many more where those came from.

As to golfing, I gave it up pretty much when I realized that my friends and family were enjoying it at my expense far more than I was~ I was the "hit" of the golf course between my lack of skills and my temper...I once picked up my golf ball and threw it as far as I could only to have it hit a telephone pole and come back at me~ I still prefer playing with my legally blind son...less pressure and we just have fun!


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 3 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

It's always fun monkeying around with you, drbj.

Glad you are back and hoping you will have a peaceful week to come.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 3 years ago from UK

Dear drbj, your ape- pun was a groan worthy delight and its always good to see how you build your elaborate pun-poem up for the final denouement ( spelling?)

Here's one you may already know:

What's the difference between Tarzan's foster parent and Price Charles?

One's a hairy parent and the other is a heir apparent. Da-dum.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Audrey, dear for the delightful good wishes which are much appreciated. Based on your expertise (?) on the golf course, you are well advised to take up a different sport - perhaps bowling. Oh, wait a minute, what if you begin bowling and the bowling ball decides to perform as your returning golf ball did. Much too gruesome to even contenplate.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 3 years ago from Central Oregon

Indeed, BJ--I'm banned for bowling as well since I have a propensity to fall down. I think it's a conspiracy to be honest..I think they wax the lanes when they know I'm coming just to give my friends and family something (else) to laugh at me for~ My hubby always says...if nothing else, Audrey--you are entertainment~


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

And it's great fun for me, Maria, to have you to 'monkey' around with. Thanks for the visit, the sweet wishes and just being you, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, dear Mohan, for appreciating my groan-worthy pun all the way to the final denouement. (You get an A+ for correctly spelling that one.)

Love your example of hairy parent and heir apparent. Now I'll just have to find a way to use it. Including the correct attribution of course.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Oops, forgot for a moment, Audrey, your propensity to lose your footing during stressful sporting moments. (Like swimming and fishing.) Forget the bowling idea, m'dear. How about a rousing game of checkers?

Hubby is right, y'know, entertainment R U!


akirchner profile image

akirchner 3 years ago from Central Oregon

Yes--I have several friends who have suggested I give up comedic sports and stick to card games and less "dangerous" sports...my family doesn't like this idea much as they seem to find all these antics very entertaining and have said "but what would we laugh about?" I guess find some funny YouTube videos guys...if only I'd thought of putting myself "out there" years ago--lost revenue~


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 3 years ago

Groan...up and funny! You get my vote any day.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Please don't give up comedic sports too soon, Audrey. Your recounting of your humorous exploits always tickles my funny-bone as well as other assorted parts. Really!


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

So nice to meet you, MizB. Look forward to seeing more of you on your hubs as well. 'Specially since you not only groaned buy also voted an Up and funny. Welcome your vote, y'know.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 3 years ago from Central Oregon

Then my mission is accomplished~ Take care my sweet and see you next time....


Derdriu 3 years ago

drbj, This has got to be one of the very few instances in which it's disappointing to learn that "The check is in the mail!" It just shows to go you that checkmate is always serious business, particularly when the mate being checked is a Czechmate.

Respectfully, and with many thanks and all the laughs, Derdriu


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

What a pleasure to see you here, Derdriu. Hope all is well with you, m'dear. Your statement is most profound but I am not surprised. Profundity is one of your middle names. Thanks for laughing.

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