National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Four

National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Four

I don’t want you to think that my jokes will only make fun of senior citizens, older lovers, and guys on vacation - like funny jokes Number One, Two and Three. Oh, no! This is an equal opportunity series and no one is exempt. Everyone will get the opportunity to be ridiculed and reviled. That’s only fair. The next subject is a beautiful young woman whose ‘porch light is not lit.’

Funny Joke Number Four

A lovely young lady whose principal attribute is her beauty goes to an interview for an entry- level office position. The interviewer, who knows very little about the illegal personal questions one should not ask, begins like this:

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss. Would you tell me your age, please?"

After counting carefully on her fingers for about a minute, the young woman replies, “Uh, I’m twenty-one.”

The interviewer is surprised by her hesitation but continues with his questioning. “This position requires, among other things, that the applicant is able to reach the highest file cabinets. Would you please tell me how tall you are?”

“I’m not certain. Do you have a measuring tape by any chance?” she asks.

“Yes, I have this small advertising specialty measuring tape I keep in my desk drawer. Will that do?”

“Perfect. Thank you.” She takes off her shoes, places one end of the tape under one foot and extends the other end to reach the top of her head. “I am five foot three.”

At this point, the interview has been less than productive so the interviewer decides to ask her a simple question - one that she will not have to count or measure in order to answer. “Just to confirm the accuracy of our records, would you please tell me your name?”

For about twenty seconds, the young woman sits quietly mumbling something under her breath to herself. At the same time she is bobbing her head as if listening to music. She then replies, “Penelope. My name is Penelope.”

Completely perplexed by her behavior, the interviewer asks, "Could you tell me, what were you doing when I asked you your name?"

"No problem," she replies. “I was just remembering the words to that song: 'Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear . . . “

Funny Quote

“She was what we used to call a suicide blond - dyed by her own hand.” – Saul Bellow

Disclaimer: The name, Penelope, does not pertain, apply to nor represent any sentient human being, living or deceased or in a cryogenic state. Promise.

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2012. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So."

'If I Only Had a Brain' from The Wizard of Oz

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Comments 44 comments

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Hey I was actually impressed 'she' could read a tape measure! lol That is a new one - now I will have a trick to help MY kids remember their names! hahaha!

christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

I've known people like that girl. I've even been people like her on occasion, but only when I have had a little too much to drink. Thanks for a nice morning giggling fit. These jokes are a tonic.

Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Haha At least I can remember my name even though I try to forget how old I am.

What would we do without you to perk us all up :)

LailaK profile image

LailaK 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

To be honest with you, this had happened to me a couple of times where I had forgotten my name. Voted up!

Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 4 years ago from United States

I have know some blondes like that. LOL! Funny joke again today - nice to start the day with a laugh.

always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

HaHa, Did she get the job? Hee..Funny and i loved it..

breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

I am wondering the same thing as always...Did she get the job? Up and funny.

Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK

Dyed by her own hand- ha, ha. The old ones are the good ones, drbj. Love the happy birthday to you ...riff.

tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 4 years ago from California

LOL the next time I forget my name will try the Happy Birthday song...:)

WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

An elderly woman calls her doctor's office, crying.

"You told me I needed to take my new medication for the rest of my life," she sobs to her doctor.

"Yes. What about it?"

"It says 'no refills'", she wails.

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

I would have been impressed, too, Kelly, if she could have read that tape measure correctly. But actually, she saw '63' on the tape and said, "Funny, I didn't know I was so tall - 6 foot 3?" I didn't add that cause I thought it was too much over the top. Literally!

Yes, by all means, share that Happy Birthday trick for remembering names.

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, christopher, me, too. I've met people with similar traits. The clinical term is 'ding-a-ling.' Don't feel badly if you forget your name after too much to drink. As long as you don't forget your address.

Happy to provide a nice morning giggling fit and jokes tonic. Thank you for the kind words.

teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

Funny! Diversity makes for equal enjoyment in humor. Thanks for the laughter in my day.

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Rosemary. I try to forget my age, too, but I'm here to tell you it does get easier as you get older, m'dear. You forget what it was you didn't remember.

Delighted I could perk you up ... now what was I talking about?

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Laila - you are much too young to suffer from this malady. But now you have the cure - just hum the Happy Birthday song. Thank you for the visit and the Up.

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

We must know some of the same blondes, Pamela. It's a pleasure to help you start the day with a laugh, m'dear. The only way to go.

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Of course she got the job, Ruby. Her porch light may not have been lit but her double D, if you know what I mean, made a strong impression on the interviewer. Heh, heh. Thanks for the funny and loving it.

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Yes, she got the job, bp. Thank you for your concern. See the reason why in my response to Ruby above. Thanks for the Up and funny, m'dear.

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Docmo - If you are laughing at the 'dyed by her own hand' quote, then we may share the same skewed sense of humor. You are so right - the old ones are the good ones - whatever! Delighted you love the 'happy birthday to you' trick. Comes in handy, y'know.

mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

This silly little poem reminds me of the one where the dumb blonde uses "white-out" to erase her mistakes on her computer screen. Funny as usual.

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Good idea, tireesstraveler, the happy birthday song does work. At least that's what I've been told! Heh, heh.

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

I love this joke, Will, one of the very few I have not heard before. Thanks for the treat. Tell you what. Can you take a sabbatical and we'll go on the road doing a standup comedy act. Whatcha think?

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

What a profound comment, teaches, and very true: 'Diversity makes for equal enjoyment in humor.' That's why everyone and everything is my target. Delighted to provide laughter in your day.

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Oh, no, oh, no, mary. Woe is me! You mean using white-out on my computer screen will not remove mistakes in my copy. Now you tell me! That was funny, too, m'luv.

Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Yes, but drbj, did she get the job? This is hilarious and timely. I am at a loss as to what is takes to get a job today in STL. I'm presentable (on interviews anyway), speak well, display enthusiasm even when the job entails taking the boss lady's dogs to the groomer, picking up dry cleaning and prescriptions along with receptionist duties for $22,000/year. Yet, "I wasn't a perfect match". Although the smart interviewers won't hint at the fact I am now long-term unemployed and no spring chicken, knowing it is not my resume or experience level, I can only ascertain my conclusions from what I know. But, I cannot change my age or the cause of my layoff, which leaves me feeling like I'm up shit creek without a paddle. I have no choice but to keep trying. Hmmmm, maybe it's the blonde in me?

profile image

Vincent Moore 4 years ago

I thought I just left that dummy in the car I crashed into in front of my on the four lane highway of Hell back in joke number three. Thank goodness is was Madonna and not this twit, or was it? maybe that's Maddonas middle name Penelope. A scary thought indeed, btw I've interviewed a few air heads like her in my time, I had to burst their balloon and send them to my competitors to be hired and they did. ha ha ha.

Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 4 years ago from India

Giggle! :D

Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

Oh yes another' Up up and away' for this one.

I share your jokes with Dai when he comes home so I am sure that many of his passengers throughout the day will be hearing them too.

He's a Taxi Driver by the way.

Take care and enjoy your Easter weekend.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Yes, Amy, she did get the job. Why? Because it was a work of fiction, not the real world. I understand what you are saying because I spent a great deal of time coaching folks who were older when they were outplaced.

Interviewers will still try to hire younger people and those with unbroken work records. Have you considered taking temp positions? Very often, even in today's world, a competent temp worker who may be older but is extremely capable and appears enthusiastic and energetic, will be hired by a company when a full-time position opens up. I know you have those qualities - now you just have to display them. Good luck, my dear.

MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

Happy Birthday dear President?

I have no sympathy with blonds being scapegoats; how dare they look so sexy and keep all eyes on them? They must suffer :)))

Voted up and very funny :))

drbj, you are the Queen of Puns :)

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Speaking of dummies driving cars, Vincent, are drivers on cell phones a problem in your area? In south Florida as I drive on the expressways - there are many - if I look at the drivers on either side of me as we pass each other, 90% of them are on the phone. BIG problem.

Delighted you bumped into (literally) Madonna. She reminds me of the Energizer bunny. Long may she keep going and going.

What a clever idea - sending misfits to your competitors. I interviewed so many people in my lifetime, I gathered enough stories to fill a book. Some of the really funny answers I heard are in my hub, "How to Interview (Un) Successfully." I think you could relate to it. Thanks for stopping by, amigo.

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Feline, Thanks for the Giggle and the big laugh. Always a pleasure to hear you giggle - even from so far away.

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

What a great idea, Eddy, to share these jokes with Dai. Now he can keep his passengers in 'stitches' without hitting other vehicles. Just kidding, of course. I'm certain he is a marvelous taxi driver. It's all those other drivers who are careless. :)

Thank you for the Up up and away, m'luv, have a marvelous weekend yourself.

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Martie, I guess this silly joke reminded you of someone who sang that song to JFK - right? She played the part to perfection. But I always remember, she WAS an actress.

I know that blondes are often seen as less than capable, beautiful or not, but I did take pains not to use that appellation in my story so as not to further the stereotype. Although the cartoon does feature a blonde.

Thank you for finding this funny, m'luv, and the Up vote. Hope all is well in your part of the world and a very Happy Easter to you.

Queen of Puns? I love it!

Karanda profile image

Karanda 4 years ago from Australia

Well done on finding a 'blonde joke' not often heard, at least I hadn't heard it before. Thanks for the laughs, yet again.

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Karanda, it is my pleasure to post a blonde joke you have not heard before. And the laughs are on me. Promise.

KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 4 years ago from Sunny Florida

I'm still laughing. I wonder, did she get the job? They could always use her as a door stop. :)

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Some of my favorite jokes are about blondes.....of course, because they don't offend me!! Also, I have blonde friends, and they crack me up, even when they're not telling jokes!!........Great funny hub!

pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 4 years ago from sunny Florida

O, dear. Every time I hear one of these blonde jokes I cackle. And to think..I was a blond till I was about thirty. All that time people were laughing at me. And to that I say, if they are laughing at ME they are giving someone else a rest.

Thanks for the laffs...Sending Angels your way :) ps

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Very funny, KKGals, 'she could get a job as a door stop!' But stop laughing. She did get the job. Remember I wrote that her principal attribute was her beauty? And the interviewer, you will recall, was male. Nuff said.

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

So, Paula, some of your favorite jokes are blonde jokes. Me, too, even though - now don't bruit this around - I am a blonde. You mentioned that you have blonde friends that crack you up. Do hope, m'dear, that I am one of them.

Thanks for finding this as funny as I do.

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Oh, my, I do believe I heard you cackle at this one from here, dear ps. And never mind if people once laughed at blonde you. I don't. I figure it's better than having them throw heavy objects at me.

You are most welcome for the laughs; thank you for the Angels.

Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

I shall move to a new country. Where they have multiple wives and marry Penelope. My wife will love her.

drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Of course your wife will love Penelope, Eric. Just be prepared for a fifteen minute hiatus when the pastor asks her her name. Thanks for dropping by.

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