Funny Short Joke about Horny Pigs

I love to 'party'

National Humor Month Funny Short Joke about Horny Pigs

Let’s start this short funny joke about pigs with a riddle:

There are twenty-four pigs in a field and six goats as well. Lightning strikes four goats and one pig. How many animals are left in the field? See the answer at the end of the joke. :)

Funny Joke about Horny Pigs

Listen my friends, come gather around,

I’ll tell you the story of Farmer Brown.

He bought twelve pigs at a livestock sale.

All twelve pigs were strong, healthy and hale.


Brown did not notice during the auction occasion

ALL the pigs he bought were of the female persuasion.

Then he thought of his buddy, Farmer Gray

Who owned a farm just a few miles away.


He might be the answer, Farmer Brown swore,

‘Cause you can’t raise more pigs without a boar.

Asking for help made Farmer Brown nervous,

But Farmer Gray’s hogs could be of service.


So he gave him a call with a proposition,

On any new piglets he’d pay a commission.

A profitable deal the two of them struck:

Farmer Brown would bring his pigs over in his truck.


The next day Brown loaded his pigs inside

And drove his truck for the three mile ride.

When he got to Gray’s farm he unloaded his pigs.

They were giddy and happy – excited as kids.


Do you think they knew they were going to mate?

They were all very anxious – it was a first date.

What a day they had, randy as dogs,

As they mated with Farmer Gray’s hogs


Farmer Brown had never raised pigs before to mate,

“How will I know,” he asked, “if they’re in a pregnant state?

What should I look for? How long should I wait?”


“That is very simple,” said Farmer Gray,

“Look for unusual behavior each day.”

So the next morning Brown examines the pigs in his pen

But all seems normal – the females are docile again.


He loads them in his truck for a second loving session.

The pigs spend the day mating with no exception.

On the third day Brown is so tired he can’t get out of bed,

So he turned to his sweet wife and this is what he said:


“Be a dear, look out the window and please tell me what you see.”

“Eleven pigs,” she says, “in the back of your truck singing with glee.”

"And the twelfth pig,” Farmer Brown asks, “where the devil is she?”

“In the front seat, behind the wheel . . . trying to turn the key!”


Answer to Riddle: Did you say twenty-five? Nope! There are thirty animals in the field. Even though five animals were struck by lightning, they are all still in the field.

Let's get this show on the road!

Funny Quote: “You should never try and teach a pig to read for two reasons. First, it’s impossible, and secondly, it annoys the hell out of the pig!” – Will Rogers

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2012. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"

"Babe" 1995

More by this Author


Comments for National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Nineteen 58 comments

Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

This was so cute and such fun to read

I'm now happy as hell and all filled with glee :)


anndavis25 profile image

anndavis25 4 years ago from Clearwater, Fl.

We not only got a joke, we got a poem! Extra special, I'd say. Ha x 10.

Have a great weekend! Voted funny. Ann


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

So funny! Who but you, Dr. BJ, would (and could) give us a hub with a pig riddle, a hilarious story about pigs and roll it up into a poem, as a bonus? Voted UP and FUNNY. (Very funny!)


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

I GOT THE RIDDLE!! I am so delighted. Funny joke and loved the quote. Beautiful hub, making me chuckle.


Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 4 years ago from Upstate New York

That really was cute! And, of course I said "Twenty-five", and was wrong on the riddle! Shame on me, not to see that one coming!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

(snicker!)


Derdriu 4 years ago

DrBJ, Belly-laugh belly-laugh chortle chortle chuckle chuckle giggle giggle guffaw guffaw. It's all done in double to show appreciation for an amusing, entertaining humorous riddle which is followed by an equally challenging, charming, compelling poem whose last couple sentences are unexpected (as to be expected from the HubPages Resident Most Excellent Venerable Sage).

Voted up + all categories.

Respectfully, and with many thanks for sharing, Derdriu


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 4 years ago from United States

Another cute story and I got the right answer on the riddle! hehe


idratherbe 4 years ago

With hardship being a part of so many lives, it's refreshing to read a hub that brings a smile to ones face! Voted up!


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

Another funny joke in poetic style. Bravo! Happy pigs HaHa Loved it...


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

Cute jokes. I especially love the riddle - what a wise person you are! The Geiko pig commercial is one of my favorites. Thanks for the laughter today.


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

Being an old farm gal, I could appreciate this joke. I enjoyed the videos, too. Baby is one of my favorites.


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 4 years ago from India

Haha...you make my mornings with your jokes! Please don't stop after the month is over! :)


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

I'm happy as a pig in s**t after reading that hilarious joke and laughing fit to burst.

Thank you. I will return to watch the videos later on when my equilibrium is restored.

Good riddle as well. It took me a couple of minutes to figure it out.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 4 years ago from Arlington, TX

You've been quite tenacious as Humor month comes to an end. Excellent work.

TFP


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Oh, Susan, I'm just as proud as I can be

That my little poem filled you with so much glee.

Number Twenty is on the way you will soon see,

Now I can regain some of my lost sanity.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Wow, Ann - a Ha times 10 for the poetic joke? That's a rare commendation. Thanks for the visit, the funny and the 'extra special.'

So are you, m'luv.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Jaye, for appreciating my poetic, porcine joke and riddle. It took a bit of effort but the pigs seem pleased, or should I say satiated? And thank you for the UP and very FUNNY.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Delighted you got the riddle, Becky, and that you loved the funny joke and quote. Making you chuckle makes my day.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Don't beat yourself up about the riddle, Paradise. You simply fell into my trap. Heh, heh. But all is well since you said the joke was 'cute.'


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

A snicker from Will Star is tantamount to a star from a Snicker - if a candy bar could read, that is.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Derdriu, thank you for your double or nothing approval, belly-laughs, chortles, chuckles, giggles and guffaws. Delighted you appreciated this joking poetic effort and humorous riddle. My pleasure, m'luv. Happy I could provide an unexpected ending. What lovely adjectives you used - I will probably borrow them when I comment on your erudite endeavors.

And thanks for the Up and the button-pushing. Have I mentioned that I adore the title you gave me. Do you think I should get a large ring for folks to kiss?


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Pamela, congrats on getting the correct answer to the riddle. Not everyone does. Happy you found this story cute.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, idratherbe. How nice to bring a smile to your face in these uncertain times - all over the globe. Thank you for the visit and the Up.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Ruby. Thanks for loving my happy pigs and appreciating my funny joke in poetic style. The Bravo is nice, too.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, teaches. Delighted you liked the cute jokes and the riddle. What a nice compliment to be called 'wise.' Providing the laughter was my pleasure.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Mary. Happy I could bring back some old farm memories and thanks for appreciating this joke. The videos are two of my favorites, too. Did you ever see the second 'Babe' film? I think it was called, "Babe in the City." Funny but not as clever as the first I thought.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Feline. So happy I've been making your mornings with my jokes. I will stop at 20 for now but will throw in a joke hub every once in awhile to keep the laughter going.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

That happy, christopher? That's the epitome of happiness. Delighted you found this joke hilarious but be careful. I don't want anything to burst or break.

Congrats on solving the riddle. Do watch the videos when you are again on solid ground, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, royal Frog, for the gracious comment. Yup, tenacious has been my middle name - at least this month!


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

Well, I am happy to report that I got the riddle and I loved the story! Up funny and awesome.


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

This sure was a Pig in the Poke joke Drbj. With breakfastpop there, got the riddle and loved the story! Enjoyed the Babe clip, too, will have to watch the movie sometime.


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 4 years ago from USA

Good Doctor bj - Anticipation is everything. Well, a wee bit of procreation is somewhere in there, too. That terrific poem would have fallen flat had the ignition key been turnable. This goes to show that pigs are not yet ready for real-time TV, even those with in-depth training like your piggies.

As to your little riddle, being as arithmetically-stupid as I am, how much do 24 and 6 add up to, not considering the depletion of some critter hair by lightning bolts?

Gus :-)))


J. Rocco 4 years ago

You got me to on the joke. Love the pictures and the Cartoon clips as well. Great job again. I would not expect anything but greatness from you. Thank you for sharing.


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 4 years ago

Hahahah Seriously! I didn't see it coming. :P


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Good for you, Patti, that riddle is seldom solved ... by adults. Thanks for loving the story. And the 12 pigs thank you for the Up, funny and awesome. :)


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

A Pig in the Poke joke, Alastar? Very clever, my friend. So was getting the answer to the riddle. Thanks for loving the story and the Babe video. You will enjoy the movie, too. Promise.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

You know, Gus, I was going to write 'honking the horn.' But I couldn't find a satisfactory word to rhyme. Then I thought, wait a minute, many cars/trucks today are started with simply pushing the ignition. But that didn't rhyme well either. So I settled for 'turning the key' which is what I have done for most of my life ... so far.

Yes, you are spot on, anticipation and procreation are just about everything in life. Don't worry about the riddle. All 12 piggies send their love and good wishes.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

So I got you on the joke, JR? My lips are sealed. Delighted you enjoyed the pictures and the cartoon clips, too. What gracious comments. Thank you, thank you!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Qudsia. Well, if you didn't see it coming, then I must have done my job. But only three Ha's? Just kiddin'.


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Had to come and read one I'd missed before I hit the sack. Way to go piggies. haha

Enjoyed the videos, I remember seeing 'Babe' such a lovely movie.

Thank you the smiles


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Delighted to provide the haha's and the smiles, Rosemary, thank you for the visit. Yes, 'Babe' was an enchanting movie and I'm not surprised that you enjoyed it, too.

This piggie joke is one of my all-time favorites, BTW.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

You got me! I really tried to figure out the trick too - I knew 25 was going to be wrong! Very clever!

I love Pigs - and I collect them! lol


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Delighted to have you stop by, Kelly. So I gotcha with the riddle and the joke? We do have a lot in common, m'dear - more than you knew. Because I love pigs, too, and . . . I collect them also! Is that pig-culiar or what?


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 4 years ago from Los Angeles

my very dear drbj,

with your wit and wild humor you make all animals look cute. Who would have thought that the pig can be so adorable? I knew they were smart, but the little one in the video is too much.... You not stopping this treat after the month is over, right? I hope not!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Please forgive my delay in responding to your sweet comments, dear Petra. I agree, the adorable pig in the video should be given a lifetime movie contract. If I can recall other short funny jokes I will add to this collection. Promise.


Caleb DRC profile image

Caleb DRC 4 years ago

First hub of yours I've read, but still laughing as I type, esp. the Will Rogers quote--very funny! I'll be checking out more of you great humor.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Nice to meet you, Caleb. Delighted you are still laughing and that you enjoyed that 'pig' quote by Will Rogers. He was a funny man. Please, be my guest and check out some more of my hubs. You will find a lot to laugh about in my 'Interviews.' Trust me.


toknowinfo profile image

toknowinfo 4 years ago

Love your sense of humor and loved this hub! Thanks for adding so much to our writing community.


Thelma Alberts profile image

Thelma Alberts 4 years ago from Germany

Funny! I was not thinking of the answer to the riddle. I was caught in the middle of this joke. You got me. Thanks for the great fun. As always, BRILLIANT!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

What a lovely comment, toknowinfo. Thank you for loving my sense of humor, loving this hub and your sublime statement.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Thelma. Thanks for the visit, m'dear, and for having great fun with the joke. You are my kind of visitor. Thanks for the brilliant!, too.


Rolly A Chabot profile image

Rolly A Chabot 3 years ago from Alberta Canada

Hi drbj... love this and just what I needed to read today...

Love you lots from Canada


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

So happy you love this and that I could provide what you needed today. Love you, too, Rolly.


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 3 years ago from sunny Florida

As usual, drbj, I am not disappointed. Chuckling of course....and the Babe movie...I have watched it way too many times and love it more each time. thanks for sharing

Sending Angels your way this evening, my Friend.

:) ps


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

I somehow knew, Patricia, that we shared a love of that remarkable 'Babe' movie. And since I am a collector of pigs (inanimate) from all over the world, that lovable protagonist stole my heart. Delighted you were not disappointed with this joke and the chuckles, m'dear, are on me.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida

I love the joke. You got me on the riddle. But the joke was so funny. I'm still picturing those pigs in that truck.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks, Sue, for finding these funny pigs. Happy you love the joke. True, that mental picture is a difficult one to forget. Don't feel badly about the riddle. No demerits, I promise.

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