Funny Short Hamster Joke - Number Seven

More than just a pretty face

National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Seven

Up to now, I have not included any ‘guy in a bar’ jokes so I will remedy that with an appetizer and then the main course. Here's the appetizer:

Three guys in a bar are discussing a female co-worker who is trying without success to have a child. The first guy says, “I believe she is impregnable.” The second says, ‘I think she is inconceivable.” The third disagrees. “You are both wrong. Obviously, she is unbearable.”

Funny Joke Number Seven

A fellow who looks like he’s seen better days walks into a bar and orders a drink of Scotch. The bartender says, “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, buddy, but you need to put your money on the bar first.”

The customer – his name is Joe – says, “I understand, and you’re right. I am temporarily without funds. But if I am able to show you something you will not believe, will you give me a drink?”

Okay,” says the bartender, “but only if it ain’t something improper.”

It’s a deal,” Joe replies, as he reaches into his roomy coat pocket and pulls out a small live hamster. He whispers instructions into the animal’s tiny ear. The hamster looks around, spies a small toy piano on the back bar and jumps over to it. He puts his tiny paws on the keyboard and plays Chopin’s ‘Minute Waltz’ perfectly in less than 55 seconds. And then jumps back into Joe’s pocket.

The bartender’s mouth drops open. “You’re right! I don’t believe what I just saw and heard. I have never seen anything like that before. That hamster is a genius.” And he serves Joe his Scotch.

Joe finishes his drink and asks for another. The bartender says, “I ain’t made of money. You’ll have to show me another miracle or no drink.”

So Joe reaches into his other roomy coat pocket and pulls out a small live frog. He puts the frog on the bar and tells it to sing the song, “My Way.” The frog starts to sing the song with perfect pitch and a voice like Frank Sinatra.

The bartender cannot believe what he is seeing and hearing. Neither can another customer who entered the bar while the frog was performing. This customer quickly offers Joe $500 cash for the amazing singing frog. Joe agrees and hands the fellow the frog and pockets the money. The customer leaves quickly before Joe can change his mind.

The bartender yells at Joe, “What are you, some kind of an idiot? You just sold a one-of-kind, astounding singing frog to that guy for only $500 – that’s peanuts! You could make millions with that performing frog. First You Tube, then television, then movies . . . millions!”

No, not really,” says Joe. “It was the hamster who was singing. He is also a ventriloquist.”

Funny Quote

“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, … floor.” – George Carlin

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2012. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"

Frank Sinatra 'My Way' 1969 with a special bonus - Spanish lyrics included

More by this Author


Comments for National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Seven 63 comments

Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Hahahaha. Good joke and quote.


Lilleyth profile image

Lilleyth 4 years ago from Mid-Atlantic

Thumbs up!


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

I am laughing so hard on this one! I love it. I am sharing this one. Thanks for the laughter in my day.


denisemai profile image

denisemai 4 years ago from Idaho

Thanks for the giggle. I was needing one. I voted you up!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 4 years ago from Nashville Tn.

Oh...this is too funny! Rolling on the floor with laughter. A great way to end my day. Up and of course funny - and thank you.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

That one gave me the best laugh. I thought the guy would be the ventriloquist, not the hamster. The ending caught me by surprise. I just laughed out loud. The neighbours must think me mad, roaring with laughter at seven o clock in the morning, and on a Monday as well.


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Haha I am laughing at this one, I will be thinking of this next time we go to the pub Lol.

I wonder if those reading it on that other site will be laughing at this too to morrow.


CMHypno profile image

CMHypno 4 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

Very funny drbj! I used to have a hamster that looked just like your picture, but she couldn't play the piano. But then I never put one in her cage - did I miss an opportunity?


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia

I didn't see that coming. Too funny! Thanks for the chucks.


xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

Good way to start a Monday! I am going to train the squirel in my back yard and see if it works.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

Love this one. Now if only I can remember it! Up and funny!!!!


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

HaHaHaHa, I love it!!!!! I'm with breakfastpop. I tried to tell the joke about the Captian with the hook for a hand and messed it up BAD..I'm listening to Frank. I love that song and Ole Blue Eyes..


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Based on your comment, Becky, you are obviously a woman of discernment and refinement.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Lilleyth, for stopping by and the Thumbs up - a renowned mark of distinction.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, teaches, for loving and appreciating this anecdote. Having you share it would be an added bonus. Delighted to provide laughter for your day. Hope your evening is funny, too. Heh, heh.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States

I always know that I can find good laughter from one of your hubs of humor, Dr. BJ! Voted up, up and away!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Delighted to meet you, Denisemai, happy to provide you with a giggle - especially since you needed one. Do visit the other jokes in this series and have a few more giggles on me. And thank you for the Up.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Do hope there is carpet on the floor on which you are rolling with laughter, Audrey. Would hate to have you despoil your clothing or injure your lovely self. My thanks to you, m'luv, for the visit, the funny and the Up. Made my day!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

I do believe I heard you laugh out loud from here, christopher. Delighted the ending caught you by surprise. I think that's a hallmark of the funniest jokes - when you are not quite ready for the punchline.

Do hope the neighbours do not castigate you for loud laughter that may have awakened them. Just tell them it's my fault.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Now don't keep laughing too hard when you are in the pub, Rosemary, it could interfere with your drinking! Perish forbid.

The readers on that despicable site may be laughing, too, they have stolen almost every one of my hubs. If Hubpages doesn't take steps to stop this blatant plagiarism of copyright material, I will consider unpublishing my work here.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

That was definitely a missed opportunity, CM, you could have raked in the money with your piano-playing hamster - even if she was not a ventriloquist. But who knew?


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Delighted to provide the chuckles, Holle. Did I 'gotcha' with the punchline?


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

My pleasure to help you start your Monday in a good way, xstatic. Just be careful while training that squirrel in your back yard - it may not know its Chopin from a hole in the ground.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Sometimes that's my problem, too, bp - I may remember the joke but forget the punchline. You could write it on an index card. Just don't forget to keep the card with you. Thank you, m'luv, for the Up and funny.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Same advice, Riby, write the joke on an index card and keep it with you. Works for me. Thanks for loving this joke. Delighted you also enjoy Ole Blue Eyes - he was/is something else when it comes to romantic ballads.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Dex, for the visit and the gracious words. And for the up, up and away! You and your comments are always appreciated. Promise.


amillar profile image

amillar 4 years ago from Scotland, UK

Arf-arf, cough, splutter ouch - ya' got me again drbj.

I thought you were going to do the one where the bartender says, "You ought to get that frog or-castrated." And it jumped off the bar never to be seen again.


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

hi there drbj! You are such a funny girl! I can always count on you to make me laugh. I love this one. Keep them coming and keep me laughing, OK?


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 4 years ago from United States

That is hysterical. I love your jokes and can't imagine how you remember so many good ones. It is great to look forward to a good laugh each day!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Muy divertido, drbj. Usted es una mujer que hace a su manera!


Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 4 years ago from Upstate New York

LMAO!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

Lol! ROFL! I have no words. Really. LMAO!

And I can certify this quote as the holy truth: “One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, … floor.” – George Carlin...


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 4 years ago from Arlington, TX

drbj - You're on a funny tear so keep it coming.

TFP


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 4 years ago from Atlanta, GA

Thank you! "bar guy" jokes are amongst my favorites and unfortunately I never hear any good jokes when I'm at a bar. Cheers!


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

Thanks for some more fun, drbj! I'm looking forward to the next hub in the series. Reading your daily joke is a great way to start or end the day.


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 4 years ago from India

Your short jokes are just irresistible! :)


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

It's such a pleasure, amillar, to tell folks jokes they may not have heard before. In this Internet Age, that is not easy to do. Love the 'Arf-arf, cough, splutter ouch' - now you got me laughin'.

An 'or-castrated' frog? I know that some people enjoy eating frogs' legs, but . . .


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, mary, delighted I can make you laugh. Thanks for loving this one and I'll do my best to keep them coming this month. Promise.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Pamela, for loving my jokes. It's a pleasure to know that you look forward to reading them each day. And laughing? My cup runneth over. Just be careful with the hysteria. Folks have been institutionalized for less.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Gracias, a mi amiga. Siempre es un placer contar con usted visita. Mi casa es su casa pero usted tendrá que hacer la comida.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Paradise, Keep LYAO and you will NEVER need to diet. Trust me.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

So you, Martie, are ROFl LYAO, too? Must be a lot of that going around. I will take your word for the 'three tequila, floor' since I have never managed to get past that first drink. Amaretto on the rocks is more my style.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hey, Frog Prince, your wish is my command, oh, royal frogness. Just B O L O!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Hilary, I'm pleased that 'bar guy' jokes are among your favorites. I've got more but not all of them are sanitized, if you know what I mean.

Never hear any good jokes when you're in a bar? Then I'll have to do some personal research for you, m'luv.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

You are so welcome, Alicia. It's my pleasure to have you visit. Delighted you are reading these jokes each day. Providing laughter is one of my favorite things to do.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

And so are you, Feline! Also enchanting, bewitching, fascinating, delightful and charming.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I was a little annoyed he sold the Frog for such a cheap price:) LOL


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Not to worry, Kelly, Joe knows where to get hundreds more! You ARE funny, m'luv.


nemanjaboskov profile image

nemanjaboskov 4 years ago from Serbia

Great joke, drbj! I know a lot of similar jokes, so I guessed the ending, but it made me laugh regardless of that :)


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

If you laughed, neman, or is it nemanja? ... even though you guessed the ending, then you are my kind of Hubbuddy. Thanks for the great joke comment.


nemanjaboskov profile image

nemanjaboskov 4 years ago from Serbia

It actually is Nemanja - thanks for noticing, drbj :)


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 4 years ago

LOL!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Oh, oh, Qudsia, your comments are getting shorter. You must be getting tired, m'luv. Thanks for the LOL.


Seafarer Mama profile image

Seafarer Mama 3 years ago from New England

Quite adorable! :0)


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

And so are you, Seafarer Mama, for saying so. Love your profile name, y'know.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD

Hahaha... that is a pretty good joke. I love hamsters, so I like how the hamster ended up looking like a genius at the end. :-)


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

I knew you would like this joke, Jeannie. I love hamsters, too, even when they are not as talented as this one. Thanks for visiting.


precy anza profile image

precy anza 3 years ago from San Diego

I knew it! I should have gotten a hamster too ^-^' And maybe teach the same stuff so I could get free bubble teas! ^-^'


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

It's not too late, precy. Go to the nearest pet store and buy the most talented hamster in the place. Then it should be a cinch to train it to be an entertainer! :)


precy anza profile image

precy anza 3 years ago from San Diego

Ha!ha!ha! Been thinking. But I'm also imagining on how things are going to be for me.... I'm gonna be awakened at night if hamster decided to go for a wheel exercise :) But if it's going to be as talented as this hamster on your hub, I definitely will! :D


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

With you as its personal trainer, precy, how can it fail? Trust me! :)


John MacNab profile image

John MacNab 3 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence

It was probably the hamster that was making Joe speak as well. These piano playing, singing, ventriloquist hamsters are devious creatures. Nice one drbj.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

You got that right, John. The hamster was the ventriloquist - all the way! I heard through the grapevine he became Lady Gaga's Svengali. Would not be surprised since he was so immensely talented. :)

Thanks for the kind words, m'dear.

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