National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Sixteen

I'm not getting enough beauty sleep.

National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Sixteen

Let’s start with a riddle. A woman goes to a carnival and walks by a booth where a barker calls out to her, “If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper, then you have to give me $20. But if I cannot, I will pay you $20. I do not have a scale."

The woman thinks to herself, without a scale this is a no-brainer. Whatever he writes, I’ll just say I weigh less. So she agreed and ended up paying the man $20. How did he win the bet?

Read and enjoy joke number sixteen and then see the answer to the riddle below.

Joke Number Sixteen

Malcolm survives a shipwreck together with Fido, his pet bulldog. After several days in a lifeboat, they reach a beautiful deserted island.

As they explore the island, they soon find a grassy valley filled with wild sheep. Malcolm is a rather shy man who has never been attracted to animals before. But he is so lonely and frightened that he finds himself staring affectionately at one of the female sheep. However, as soon as he approaches her, Fido starts barking loudly and she runs away.

The next morning, consumed by thoughts of the sheep, Malcolm gets up early and hurries back toward the valley. He soon finds the sheep but once again, Fido comes running and barking and scares her away.

A few days later Malcolm and Fido are walking along the beach one morning when they find a beautiful young woman lying on the sand. She is unconscious so Malcolm immediately gives her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. She awakens and asks, “What happened? Where am I?

“You must have survived a shipwreck,” he replies. “You were unconscious but fortunately, I found you in time.”

“You saved my life! I don’t know how to thank you,” she says. She gives him an affectionate hug and a long, tender kiss. Then she looks in his eyes and says, “Please, let me express my appreciation. “I’ll do anything you want. Just tell me.”

“Well,” says Malcolm, “actually there is something. Would you mind . . . just for a couple of hours . . . looking after Fido?”

Funny Quote

"If you can look at a dog and not feel vicarious excitement and affection, you must be a cat." ~ Unknown

Answer to Riddle: Did you get the answer? The carnival barker did exactly what he said he would do. He wrote on the paper, “your exact weight.”



Tom Hanks in "Cast Away" (2000)

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Comments for National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Sixteen 36 comments

John MacNab profile image

John MacNab 4 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence

I can't even say Baaaa! to this joke, drbj. A Vet friend has already explained to me that some shepherds become ever so romantically attached to their charges - hence all the shepherds' children with sheepish looks.

Nice one.


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

unnnghhh


Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 4 years ago from Upstate New York

That one was a bit indigestable for me. I don't think I'll ever see the attraction of sheep. (Though they say in Texas men are men and sheep are nervous. I'm not sure I get that one, either, no offense intended, Texans.)


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

HaHaHa, I wonder if he wore high top boots? This is sooo funny. I am still laughing. John MacNab's comment blew me away LOL


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

I thought he was going to ask her to help catch a sheep but your version was funnier.


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

This is a funny joke, as always, drbj! This is the first time that I actually guessed the answer to your riddle before I went to the end of your hub, probably because it reminded me of a trick that my friends and I loved to play on other people when I was a child. “Constantinople is a very hard word. Spell it.” This joke amused us so much as our victims struggled to spell “Constantinople” instead of “it”!


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

Oh, drbj, your riddle is too funny. I should have seen that one coming! Thanks for the laughter.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 4 years ago from United States

Again, I laughed at your joke and I figured out the riddle. Thanks!


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 4 years ago from India

* Sheepish grin *


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Fine thing, John, your comments are funnier than my joke. But I forgive you because I love it - don't stop. The 'sheepish looks' is a great joke - you know I'll find a way some how to use it. Thank you for the visit and finding this a 'Nice one.'


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Well you know what they say, Becky, one 'unnnghhh' is better than none. And much better than an 'aarrgghhh'!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Paradise, do regret the indigestion. Your Texas one-liner is very funny though to everyone but a Texan, that is.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

It's just like I commented earlier, Ruby, the comments are getting funnier than the jokes. High top boots? You naughty girl! Heh, heh. Thanks for laughing at both John's lines and mine.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for finding my version funnier but your suggestion IS clever, my friend. If I ever get caught short with jokes, I'll use your line as an alternate version. OK?


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

I didn't get the riddle: no surprise there. The joke: oh well, it was pretty sheepish. Goodnight, my funny friend.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for finding this joke funny as always, Alicia. Congrats on solving the riddle. The Constantinople riddle is a new one to me but it does provide a baseline. Thanks for sharing it. Get it? Sharing IT?


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Dear teaches - providing the laughter is my earnest desire and pleasure. You are so welcome. Didn't see the riddle coming, eh? Don't feel badly - most folks don't.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Delighted you laughed at the joke and figured out the riddle. You are my kind of wit, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

'Sheepish grin?' Feline. You are too much. Told ya. The comments are beginning to be funnier than my jokes. Thanks for the visit.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Don't worry your pretty little head, mary, there are so many more important things to worry about . . . like falling interest rates, rising gasoline prices, the cost of living, etc. So keep laughing. Thanks for finding the joke 'sheepish.'


xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

And sheep everyehere are more nervous than usual.I did not send the riddle either.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Oh, what an opening you provided, xstatic. I could have responded: "And how do you know?" But I won't take advantage because you are a nice fellow - I can tell from your avatar. And don't lose any sleep over the riddle cause you get points for honesty.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

If I say I got the riddle I'd be lying. Oh, what the heck, I got the riddle! Up and funny.


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 4 years ago from Atlanta, GA

Yay I got the riddle! i also got the joke :) Cheers


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 4 years ago

Driveby LOL, thanks drbj!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

You are very funny, bp, and I will take your word for it. Thanks, m'dear, for the Up and funny.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hooray, Hilary, you are on a winning streak. Don't forget to play the lottery this week to take advantage. Cheers to you, too, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

You are so welcome, psychicdog. I understand the LOL but the 'driveby' puzzles me.


amillar profile image

amillar 4 years ago from Scotland, UK

Hi drbj - What part of Wales was he from?


sheila b. profile image

sheila b. 4 years ago

I feel stupid because I didn't figure it out.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Actually, Amillar, he emigrated from lower Slobbovia.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Please, sheila, do not feel stupid. Often it is those with superior intelligence who may have difficulty since they are prone to analysis. So there!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 4 years ago from USA

Good Doctor bj - First the riddle. The way I heard the solution was that the barker actually had to pay the lady his 20 bucks. He spelled it "your exact wait." And as to the joke, it would have been even funnier if the dog had been a German Shepherd instead of a bulldog. I want your next one to be, not just funny like this one, but totally out of sight. OK?

Gus:-)))


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Yes, Gus, an illiterate barker could have spoiled the whole guess-your-weight set-up. I thought of making the dog a German Shepherd but then I realized he would be so into his work that Malcolm would never have a monent alone with his ovine love. Right?

Anticipate that Jokes 17 through 20 will meet with your out of sight expectations.


Barbsbitsnpieces profile image

Barbsbitsnpieces 3 years ago from Napoleon, Henry County, Ohio, USA

@drbj...They're all out of sight! Where did you study humorology??


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

All my jokes are out of sight, Barb? That's the nicest thing you ever said to me. And thank you, m'dear, for the marvelous opening. I studied at "Fokk University," of course. Take a look for yourself!

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