National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Twenty

To each his own

National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Twenty

I promised at the beginning of this month which is National Humor Month – really, it is – to publish a funny short joke every day if possible. I wrote twenty and will conclude the series with this one. Temporarily!

Hope you have enjoyed the ride as I have, remembering and rewriting these jokes – even producing some in poetic format.

Funny Riddle: There is a seven-letter word in the English language that contains ten different words without rearranging any of its letters. What is the word? See the answer at the end of the joke.

Funny Joke Number Twenty

Billy Bob Buffett is a successful, wealthy American businessman who flies to Japan to meet with investors. When he lands in Tokyo, he pays a visit to the American Embassy. The Ambassador warns him that terrorist threats have been escalating, and it would be wise to hire a personal bodyguard.

“Where can I find the best security service?” he asks. That would be Bates Bodyguards he is told, and he is given directions to its location nearby. Billy Bob takes a taxi to that address and is greeted by a slender elderly gentleman dressed in traditional robes, with long white hair and a long white, wispy beard.

“’Ogenki desuka’ – how are you?” he says, “I am Master Bates, the founder of Bates Bodyguards. The Ambassador phoned me and I can show you three superior bodyguards. You choose one you like most.”

He then claps his hands twice and calls out, “’Ichi’ – Number One.” A six-foot Samurai swordsman strides in and is introduced as Bruce Li. The old man opens a large glass jar and frees a small, common housefly. Immediately, the swordsman slashes through the air with his weapon as fast as lightning, and neatly slices the fly in half.

“Wow, that is very impressive,” says Billy Bob, “I can’t go wrong with Bruce Li.”

“’Iie’ – No, wait a moment, please,” replies the Master. “Now I show you ‘ni’ – Number Two.”

Number Two enters. He is as big as a Sumo wrestler and is introduced as Jackie Chin. The old man releases a second fly. In an instant, with two very precise moves, the fly is cut into four tiny pieces.

“That is unbelievable,” says Billy Bob, “I’ll take Jackie Chin.”

“’Iie’ – No, you should not choose until you see ‘san’ – Number Three.”

Number Three walks in and looks nothing like his two imposing, muscular compatriots. He is rather scrawny and height-challenged and looks like he could use a good meal. His name is Kerry Oki. Billy Bob is disappointed.

Now the old man releases a third fly, and whoosh goes Kerry Oki’s sword. But, wait, what is this? The tiny fly is still moving!

“So what is so special about Number Three?” says Billy Bob. “The fly is still alive.”

“Oh, ‘hai’ – Yes,” replies the inscrutable Master Bates. “Fly is still alive. But he never ever make love again!”

Funny Quote

“A lot of people ask me when I do a stunt, 'Jackie, are you scared?' Of course I'm scared. I'm not Superman.” – Jackie Chan

Answer to Riddle

The word is “therein.” The ten words are the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, herein and therein.

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2012. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"

Young Jackie Chan

Jackie Chan films

More by this Author


Comments for National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Twenty 81 comments

mollymeadows profile image

mollymeadows 4 years ago from The Shire

DRBJ, I love Jackie Chan, but I had no idea he wasn't using a stunt double for these. Ow-ee!! Cute joke and awesome Chan footage. Thanks for sharing!


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 4 years ago from United States

Still laughing. The Jackie Chan video was great. Thanks for an awesome joke day.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 4 years ago from Arlington, TX

Happy Funny April 30th. You did it!

The Frog


amillar profile image

amillar 4 years ago from Scotland, UK

Thank you for a month of hilarity drbj. While we're on the subject of flies, here's one from me.

Question: How do you make an elephant fly?

Answer: Firstly, get a zip about a yard long...


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

Wow! That number three was good, and Jackie Chan is amazing. Thank's for the laugh, another gooden'


anndavis25 profile image

anndavis25 4 years ago from Clearwater, Fl.

Loved the jokes. The kind that cheers me up.

Question: drbj...is that Dr. Betty Jones, Dr. Bobby Jones? Which gender?

Aren't you glad the challenge is over? But it was fun for us.

Chan is missing an oar.

Up, funny, awesome.


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

Love the riddle on the word therein. Also, Jackie Chan is one of my favorite marshall arts actors. He is so funny but produces entertaining movies. I see that he is now making commercials, good choices for him as an older actor, but it means he's heading towards retirement. Thanks for the posted humor.


Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 4 years ago from Upstate New York

Love the joke, and that Jackie Chan--crazy-brave. You couldn't pay me enough to try anything like that. It all looked like it hurt!


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Another funny, awesome hub. I blew it on the word. The joke was great. The video is awesome.


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 4 years ago from India

Thanks for all the wonderful jokes, drbj! Must you fly now?


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

I love the riddle, drbj! This is another one to tell my students. The Jackie Chan video is impressive, too. Thank you very much for this month of jokes - they've been so enjoyable!


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

Ouch!!! I felt that joke in a place where I am more used to feelings of a different nature.

The riddle was very good, but too much for my pre-breakfast brain to work out.

Thanks for this brilliant series. UNESCO should make your HubPages a Site of International Importance.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, molly. Me, too. Jackie is one of my favorites and one of the most acrobatic, daring athletes I have ever watched. True, he does - or did - all his own stunts and broke numerous bones. Perhaps he also has a death wish?

Thanks, m'dear, for enjoying the joke and the film video.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Delighted you are stll laughing, Pamela, and that I provided an awesome joke day - one of my favorite things to do. Jackie has long been one of my favorites not just because of his awesome stunts but his comic timing as well.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Yes, Frog, I said I would do it and I did it! Thanks for the recognition. And Happy May 1st to you. Did you get any May Day baskets on your doorstep?


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 4 years ago from Atlanta, GA

That was a good one doc! Love that Jackie too :)


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

You have no idea how much I look forward to your jokes and your riddles. Up and funny.


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 4 years ago from USA

Good Doctor bj - High scores here! (as usual)

and to think that Kerri Oki did his emasculation without even unzipping the fly's genes. That now soprano-buzzing fly went out into the world diminished save for his new and very macho cowboy name, "Ol' Blue Genes."

(drbj - the above is known as "payback.")

Gus :-)))


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, amillar, you are most welcome for this month of hilarity. Entirely my pleasure. Delighted this encouraged you to share your 'elephant fly' joke with me. Very funny! You know I'll find a way to use it. Thank you, my friend.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

'Hai', Ruby, Kerry Oki was pretty sharp (that's a joke, sis), wasn't he? So happy you had a laugh with this, and that you are a fellow fan of one of my idols, Jackie Chan.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

What a treat for me, Ann, to write the kind of jokes that cheer you up. My pleasure, m'dear. Yes, it was a challenge but I'm usually up for them. Within reason. Thanks for the Up, funny and awesome.

To answer your 'gender' question, read my "Comments and Traffic" hub - it provides the answer.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, teaches. Thanks for loving the riddle and enjoying the humor. I always admired Jackie for his effortless but often death-defying stunts, and his flair for comedy. I have seen him in TV commercials, too, which are certainly a safer venue for him these days.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Paradise, that Jackie Chan has always been a wild and crazy guy when it came to stunts. I'm with you. No amount of money could influence me to risk my life like that. He broke a number of very important bones! Thanks for loving the joke.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Happy you enjoyed this funny joke and the awesome video, Becky. Don't worry about the riddle; I won';t tell anyone. Promise.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

My pleasure, Feline, to provide the 'wonderful' jokes. Thanks for your continuous presence. And I'll try not to 'fly' too far away, Your Cleverness.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

By all means, Alicia, share this riddle with your students. Depending on their age, you may have to give them a clue first. Like saying, the word begins with 'th'.

Happy you enjoyed Jackie's video and the month of jokes. My pleasure, my dear.


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

I knew I would never do the riddle, and I didn't! I loved the joke, hope I can remember it to tell my friends. Great Hub. Now I wonder what will you do with your spare time now that the jokes are over. (or are they?)


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Strange, isn't it, christopher, how that joke seems to affect guys in a particular way. :) Don't worry about not solving the riddle. It's difficult even on a full stomach.

What a lovely, gracious comment about UNESCO citing my Hubs as a 'Site of International Importance. You make my day, m'dear!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Hilary, for loving my 'fly' joke AND Jackie Chan. They are two of my favorites!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

You have no idea, Patti, how much I enjoy learning that you have looked forward to my jokes and riddles. Thank you, m'luv, and for the Up and funny, too.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

I knew I should have collaborated with you first, Gus, before attempting to write this joke. Your lines are so much funnier than mine. Your humorous "payback." is welcome, my friend - any time!


sheila b. profile image

sheila b. 4 years ago

Great riddle! Liked the joke, too - especially the names.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Your friends will love the joke, mary. If you forget a line, just give me a ring. Don't sweat not getting the riddle - it IS a difficult one, m'dear.

What will I do next? Wish I knew. Waiting for inspiration y'know. And I will publish a joke from time to time. Trust me.


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 4 years ago from East Coast, United States

Hi, drbj - do you really make these jokes up? You are so clever! And you always make me laugh and give a lift to my day. (Love Jackie Chan movies)


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

How nice to have you visit, Dolores. To answer your question: some of the jokes I create, some of the old ones I revise (drastically), and some of them I turn into verse. Delighted to give you a laugh and a lift. I love Jackie, too.


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

Ha ha drbj- you saved the best for last! But you'll be back for many encores we hope. Speaking of Bruce and Jackie, when we would show the late show kung-fu features if the film broke and melted on screen our boisterous patrons would howl and scream for blood like they were in the Roman Coliseum. We never locked the projection room doors though, their bark was much worse than their bite.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK

drbj, I've always loved Jackie Chan's stunts and his brand of innocent almost childlike humour. As for Bruce Li, Jackie Chin and Kerry Oki... I am trying not to laugh but you're killing me!


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Still laughing at the joke, That Kerry Oki is some guy Lol. The word 'therein' I missed one. The jackie Chan's stunts are amazing.

Thank you again for another great laugh


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia

Wow - that's quite a swordsman! Thanks for the chuck!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago

Hilarious joke! Great riddle too. Thanks for the laugh and the fun. It is always a pleasure to read one of your Hubs. The quality is consistently outstanding. :-)


Derdriu 4 years ago

DrBJ, What a belly-laughing amusing, entertaining, funny, hilarious, humorous funny short joke which is both funny and short! The answer to the riddle and the Kerry Oki (what a name!) reaction are completely unexpected. Additionally, I really enjoyed the countdown of Jackie Chan stunts.

Respectfully, and with many thanks for your sense of humor oh HubPages Resident Most Excellent Venerable Sage, Derdriu


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 4 years ago

Ha! This was hilarious! :)


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Alastar - delighted you believe this joke is the 'best for last.' It's one of my favorites, too. Yes, I'll pop one out every once in a while - just for laughs.

Thanks for sharing that anecdote about the wild, crazy fans at the Bruce and Jackie films. Since you didn't lock the projection room door when film 'melted,' you placed yourself in jeopardy. They could have torn you to pieces.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

You nailed it, Docmo, that's what you and I and his fans love most about Jackie Chan. Not only his incredible athletic ability/stunts but his 'innocent almost childlike humour.' Well said.

Delighted you enjoyed the names of my protagonists but don't laugh too hard - I wouldn't want to hurt you!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Rosemary, delighted you enjoyed a great laugh with this joke. Yep, Kerry Oki is my kind of hero. And Jackie Chan has always been beyond amazing with his awe-inducing stunts.

Don't feel badly about the riddle, m'dear, it IS difficult. Tell it to someone else and when they can't solve it either, you'll feel much better. Trust me.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

My pleasure, Holle, to provide the chuckle. Delighted you enjoyed this. Kerry Oki, by the way, got his early training chopping onions at Benihana.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Been missing you, James. Happy to provide the laugh and the fun of the joke and the riddle. Thanks for your most gracious remarks. 'Consistently outsanding' has to be one of my all-time favorite comments.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Salutations and benedictions to you, Derdriu, from the H.P.R.M.E.V.S. - I love that title! So happy you enjoyed this genuine funny short joke and found it amusing, entertaining, funny, hilarious, and humorous. You can pen PR for me any time.

Surprising you with the punchline and the answer to the riddle makes my day. Jackie and Kerry both send their regards. Bruce is too busy slicing flies.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Qudsia, thanks for finding this hilarious, oh 'virtuous' one.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Drbj - I get a joke and a lesson? Well I should be paying you more for the entertainment!

Happy Day today!! Not sure if you are a Mother? I am in many, many ways:) hahahaha


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Kelly. Payment is not necessary, m'dear. Simple adulation is recompense enough. Delighted I could provide the entertainment.

Happy belated Mothers Day backatcha from another, shall we say, multi-faceted 'mother.' Hope your day was splendidiferous.


John MacNab profile image

John MacNab 4 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence

And therein lies Funny Short Joke number 20. Nice one drbj.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, John. So glad you stopped by and enjoyed this one. Sayonara.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 4 years ago from Nashville Tn.

I certainly know where my "happy place" is. Right here!

You consistently give us all the gift of laughter. Both my face and my tummy needed some exercise before bed. Your outragiously funny jokes do it every time.

I'll be back for more and I thank you for your quick wit!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida Author

As soon as I gather some additional outrageous funny jokes, dear Audrey, I will send them along. Thank you for your appreciation, it's my pleasure.


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 3 years ago from sunny Florida

Happy Saturday evening, drbj..

I needed a chuckle tonite..this has been an especailly stress-filled week..I actually try to run from stress but sometimes it overtakes me...so laughter being the best medicine, I am here reading. Thanks, thanks, and thanks. The cartoon at the beginning set the tone...I knew I was going to be smiling.

That third possible bodyguard was gooooooood...I hope he got the job.

Happy evening to you Sending you more Angels :) ps


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

So happy, Patricia, I could assist you in providing some humor to overcome your stress-filled week. And you are so right, laughter can be the BEST medicine. If you need another laugh soon, there are 19 more Funny Short Joke hubs and 12 Funny Puns hubs. As well as 30 plus Interviews with Dead Celebrities. Enjoy, m'dear!


John MacNab profile image

John MacNab 3 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence

Mmm? Just re-reading again, drbj. I needed a laugh...but I got to thinking....how did they know the fly was male? The bodyguard must have had the eyes of a hawk. Thank you again for my attack of the giggles.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

No thanks necessary, John, for your giggles attack. It is completely my pleasure. Especially that you found your way back here again.

Yes, the swordsman bodyguard, Kerry Oki, had unbelievable eyesight. His middle name was 'Hawkeye.'


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 3 years ago from Sunny Florida

Love the joke and Jackie Chan - it's perfect. Amazing, funny, and up, way up there.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, KKGals, thanks for loving the joke and Jackie. Thanks also for the lovely adjectives and the 'way up there' - that has to be one of my favorite comments!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

As soon as I noticed that this very funny short joke was circulating again I had to enjoy a second read. Just wonderful! Just as entertaining as the first time I dived into this. You've made my day a happy one, once again. Hugs.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 3 years ago

Oh my, hilarious! Loved the joke, the riddle and the video. Thanks for the laughs, would do my health no harm at all :)


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

What a thrill, Audrey, that you returned once more to enjoy Kerry Oki and his bodyguard colleagues. You made him and me very happy with your return visit. Delighted you were entertained by this again and it is my supreme pleasure, y'know, to make your day happy. Hugs backatcha, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Shil - Wow, you loved the joke ... and the riddle ... and the video. You are my kind of Hubbuddy, y'know. Providing the laughs are my pleasure, m'dear. Laughter IS good for your health - among other things, it does give your immune system a jump-start. Trust me.


TurtleDog profile image

TurtleDog 3 years ago

Great jokes! Caught this on your twitter feed. The cartoon at the top of the post is great too. Nice work


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, TurtleDog, nice to meet you. Thanks for liking this joke and the cartoon. There are 20 more for you to enjoy and some puns, too. Be my guest!


brakel2 profile image

brakel2 3 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Your puns and jokes are hilarious. When I need a good laugh, I know where to go. Love the fly ending by the excellent swordsman. I never knew there was such humor on this site. Voted up and shared.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

You've given a "triple play" - great joke, a clever riddle and entertaining video. My sides ache from laughing! Thank you and will be checking out the other 20. Whew!


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

What a pleasure to meet (and follow you), brakel. This pun happens to be one of my all-time favorite puns. Delighted you found it hilarious. Thanks for the Up and the sharing.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

You may have established the new record, Audrey, for returning to the scene of the crime - I mean, my punny hub. So happy I provided you with laughter - hope your sides are recovering. Love ya, m'dear.


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 3 years ago from sunny Florida

I do not know how I missed this one...it is too funny. Today is a great day for a laugh...you know how some days are just like that!!!???

Thanks for the chuckle...Angels are on the way ps


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

I know too well exactly what you mean, Patricia. So I am happy you read this in time. You are welcome, m'dear, 'tis my pleasure. BTW, of the 20 jokes I wrote, this one with Kerry Oki is my favorite.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

I'm b-a-c-k! For the 4th time...had to come back again. This time it was for the "kerry oki." This had me laughing out loud again and again.

Do they make 'em any better than you? Nah!

You're absolutely the best!


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 3 years ago from Dallas, Texas

Funny all the way around. Wow, that was a really young Jackie Chan and what made it even funnier were the dubbed in sound effects and translation. Really, he has some interesting moves. That joke was great. Just what I needed to start my day.


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 3 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

Here's a joke I heard at a Bluegrass festival:

A man walks into an old west saloon and starts bragging about what a good shot he is with a six-gun.

Another guy bets hi ten dollars that he can't shoot he hat off of the piano player. Well he lines up his gun and shoots off the players hat.

"Well I bet you twenty that you can't shoot off his cuff links. So he shoots two quick shots and off go the cuff links and the piano player keeps right on playing.

When he went to reload the cylinder got jammed. The bartender told him to take the gun in the back room and put it in the lard barrel and wipe the grease all around it.

Will, that fix the cylinder?" he asked.

"Then why should I do that?"

"Well," the bartender said. " I just know what Mr. Wyatt Earp is going to do with that gun just as soon as he finishes playing the piano."


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 3 years ago from East Coast, United States

Always good to read one of your humor hubs! (I remember watching Jackie Chan movies with the kids - so much fun. He must be in his early 60's now. I guess he's not going to be hopping around using a ladder as a weapon anymore)


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

What a thrill to see you again, Audrey. Since you had the courage to visit this joke not once, not twice, not thrice (?), but four times, you win the Perpetual Follower Award for the year. The handsome gold statuette which resembles the Oscar having birth pains will be shipped to you via Fed UP (the company that resulted from Fed Ex merging with UPS).


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Peg, good to see you here. I must have seen every film Jackie made including those in the beginning made in Hong Kong with really amateurish English dubbing. He is really clever with his unbelievably athletic moves and his charming manner. Thanks for the visit, m'dear, and enjoying the joke.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Don, for that great Wyatt Earp joke - it is truly a classic and I appreciate your sharing it. Now I can't wait to spring it on someone myself.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida Author

So you are a Jackie Chan fan, too, Dolores? Some of his moves and stunts in his films were breathtaking. And I know that he broke a number of bones doing them because he never used a stunt double. Thanks for the visit, m'luv.

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