Funny Stories And Comedy: A Funny Story About A Restroom

Funny Story About a Bathroom

When I was a child, it's hard to believe but I was much like I am today....enthusiastic, energetic, always looking for new things to learn, and most importantly, easily distracted because I was always thinking of 5 things at the same time.

When I'm done with this......I'm going to do that. So is it any surprise that I would have a funny childhood story about a bathroom?

Highly unlikely and very probable. Come with me and I'll tell you how it all happened on a bright Saturday afternoon in San Diego.


HOW THE FUNNY STORY ABOUT A RESTROOM HAPPENED


I've mentioned in stories previously about going with my mom while she went on her music teaching gigs. Mostly on Saturdays, she would take me with her to give my grandmother a respite. Sometimes, very occasionally she took both my sister and I, but mainly it was just me.

It was a nice break for me, too. I could read my books and think my thoughts and I got some peace and quiet too. It was a respite for me from being in trouble every minute....not a bad deal.

Public domain image
Public domain image

My mother as I've mentioned before had rules about going to the bathroom. You were not allowed under ANY circumstances to ask to use the restroom at a music student's home. It was just not kosher. I'm not sure why but I was instructed that I needed to go before the lesson and then I could darned well 'hold it' until after the lessons that were planned. No asking to use the facilities. Okay....I got it!

My mother also had another funny thing about restrooms. There was no appropriate restroom that we could stop at except a Standard gas station. I'm not sure what that was about and I really did not and do not want to know to this day. All I know is that by the time we breezed into an 'appropriate' service station, I was usually tap dancing and I was not a dancer.

On one particular Saturday, she had had a new student so we were in unfamiliar territory so to speak when it came to Standard gas stations. She finished the lesson, we were underway at last, and she finally pulled into a station. I sprang out of the car like a jack-in-the-box. I ran to the door and popped inside, ducked into the stall and did my thing.

When I came out, though, I found myself in awe! Wow....maybe because this was a different kind of Standard station, as in really special!!

Look what they had! They had all these little sinks and they came up from the floor. Really though, they were kinda long sinks but how clever! I was probably 7 or 8 at the time but I was just flabbergasted.

And look what else? There were several of them!! Of course I put my hands under the top part to see where the fawcet heads were but I couldn't find any place for the water to come out. There wasn't a handle to turn it on, either....and I was feeling all along the top for one! And I was putting my head under and looking up as in 'where is it hiding?'

I crouched down and tried to figure out where the water could be coming from. Could it shoot up from the floor? That would be kinda stupid though wouldn't it because people who were little like me would get all wet! I just was amazed though that they would make such kid-sized sinks. Even the littlest person wouldn't have to reach up!

After what seemed like forever searching, all I could find was some handle thing on the right hand side of the sink. Hmmmm....I wondered what that was for. So I touched it, pushed it, pulled it and finally pulled it down....and it flushed! Imagine that!

It did spray out some water but I couldn't figure out where the soap was to wash my hands. Again, I looked up underneath, all along the sides, and down on the bottom. I looked down again at the bottom and was thinking that didn't look like any sink I'd ever seen before. The more I thought about it, what would you have to do? Lay on the floor to wash your hands? This just totally didn't make any sense at all.

I finally spied a sink over on another wall and relieved, just went there and finally was able to wash my hands, dry them and then with a shrug as if it were just too deep a mystery, went out the bathroom door.

I found my mother sprawled on the hood of her car grabbing her sides and laughing hysterically. She manages to squeeze out "Oh this is priceless....Didn't you realize that you went into the men's room?

I could hear you in there fussing and trotting around in your saddle shoes....." more hysterical laughter......"and flushing and turning things on.......but you didn't have a clue that you weren't in the ladies' room?"

Oh gee....thanks so much, Mom for coming to my rescue. I guess that might explain it!!

"Oh my GOD" I thought though......what if a real MAN had come in??? Oh I would have been so embarrassed!!!

Whew.....narrow escape there (I think that was why she was laying on the car to be honest.... guarding me from some guy coming in to discover the special ed kid investigating the men's room, peering up underneath to find out how you got the water to come out of the 'special' sinks).

We were underway again en route to the next student's house and I suddenly piped up with the burning question....."So mother, what were all those little sinks on the floor for?"

Hmmmm....she didn't say anything and I distinctly remember her kind of gagging and choking on laughter. "I'm not sure but maybe you'll figure it out one of these days". Hmmmmm....not the answer I was looking for.

Epilogue to the Funny Story About a Bathroom

Well, I did eventually learn that those 'little sinks' were urinals. It was probably some time in my 20's....not really! I was more upset when I figured it out though that I'd been in there peering around and touching them! Ugggh....

Fast forward though to a year ago. I'm not the little special ed kid that I was back then but unfortunately I am still the same fireball that I've always been. Always have something on my mind and going 100 miles an hour.

Bob and I were in Bend on our weekly shopping expedition which involves store hopping followed by a much needed quick lunch or early dinner by the time we're done. As usual though, I was thinking ahead to what needed to be done afterward when I got home. It wasn't like I could excuse what happened either by the fact that I was in an unfamiliar restaurant. This was a lovely rather high-end steak restaurant where we usually went to catch their happy hour menus or a late lunch and we'd been there loads of times. Too bad!

As usual, I exited the car and ate up the sidewalk with my gait. For a person who isn't very tall, I manage to move pretty fast and usually always accidentally leave Bob behind. I usually circle back and pick him up but my mind was elsewhere. I burst through the restaurant doors on a mission - to go wash my hands and get a table for us and was just not really thinking evidently.

I waved to the hostess and strode down the hallway I'd been in dozens of times before, went straight ahead and pushed through the door with a powerful stride.....only to see a young man against the opposite wall who was very surprised to see me!

In the name of all that's holy, what had I DONE? Well, pretty much obvious here Einstein - you've entered the Twilight Zone - better known as the men's room at Gregg's Grill!! Thumbs up girl!! The poor fellow was very kind....he laughed and waved (with his other hand I'm assuming) and all that kept me from knowing him on a more intimate level was a wall thank heavens that was between his private parts and my line of vision!

I shrieked like I'd seen a mouse (no offense guy) and began to hyperventilate, backing out of the bathroom as quickly as I'd come in. By this time, good old Bob had caught up with me and was behind me, laughing so hysterically that I'm not sure how he managed to get to the bathroom door! I flew out of the men's room like I was shot out of a cannon and ducked into the ladies' room where I was still shrieking.

I could hear through the walls though clearly enough - much laughter - and my white knight Bob telling the fellow "Gosh, I'm so sorry - my wife will do ANYTHING for a little excitement"....more laughter.

Seriously, I thought about staying in the bathroom and just waiting for Bob to finish eating. When I'd let about 15 minutes go by and no one had come to get me, I decided to venture out. I kept my head down and refused to look at anyone in the restaurant. Several people were snickering along with our waitress so I'm pretty sure SOMEONE told them what had happened. At least I didn't recognize the young fellow from the bathroom!

And we all know that if Bob had been a little bit faster, it never would have happened, right? I know...total long shot but one of the perks of being married is blaming your spouse for things that make absolutely no sense occasionally.

When we go anywhere together now, Bob very patiently takes me by the hand and leads me to the door and explains as if he's talking to his special ed daughter...."Now Audrey, this is the women's bathroom, just so you don't get mixed up....and this is the men's."

It probably isn't that bad an idea to tell you the truth!

Restroom Signs - It IS a Problem!

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Comments 35 comments

akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Nate - never thought about it like that - definitely true!


NateSean profile image

NateSean 5 years ago from Salem, MA

Oddly enough, my first time in a boy's room in school was at elementary school. And yeah, even a boy can get puzzled by the urinals when it's his first time out and about.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Thanks so much for the delightful comment epigramman...and to you and yours as well, happiest of new years ahead!!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

Happy New Year and best wishes for a happy safe and healthy beginning and of course health and happiness - I always enjoy your writing - obviously you were born to do it and your food and lifestyle hubs are always tasty and rewarding too!


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Yes, Micky - some of us more than others!


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 5 years ago

We do need to be careful! Good one akirchner!


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Thanks mysterylady - always appreciate your kind words. And your story is hilarious! I would have probably exploded rather than be able to go!

WEK - Will do and thanks for stopping by!!


WhatEllenKnows profile image

WhatEllenKnows 5 years ago

Love bathroom stories! Check out mine sometime!!


mysterylady 89 profile image

mysterylady 89 5 years ago from Florida

This was hilarious! I love your funny hubs.

In Brussels, Belgium, at a very fancy restaurant, I asked where the restroom was. I had to go down a long flight of stairs. When I opened the door, I saw a line of urinals (complete with men!) I ran back upstairs only to be told that was the only one - this in French. I had to go back down, enter, walk past the men, and then use a stall without a door! At least there was a wall partition between me and the men.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Nell - you vamp, you! Now see, I wish I could do that with total aplomb and just not get so wickedly embarrassed!

After being in there and fidgeting and fooling around....I'm thinking I would not like to clean one of those - like ever!

Wish I'd been a fly on the wall though for your 'performance' - thanks for adding your usual wit and humor to the hub!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

Hi, I knew what was coming! ha ha but it was really funny! I didn't have a clue what they were when I first saw a mans restroom! don't worry, I am not a peeping tomette, I used to clean a pub! ha ha I do have one story though, I was in a nightclub and dying for a pee, when I got fed up of waiting for the ladies! there was a queue a mile long, and I'd paid good money to get into the nightclub, so I wasn't going to wait all night and waste it, so, head held high, I got our of the queue and headed for the mens! I was slightly drunk you know!, anyway, I went sailing into the bathroom and there was a man at the urinals, he went white and tried to cover himself, I just sailed past and said, 'hiya, sorry gotta go!' and went into the cubicle! when I came out, all the girls started laughing, then to my amusement, followed me in there! ha ha cheers nell


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon Author

I never thought of THAT scenario Wayne. he was sure a wavin'....Bob also got the best kick out of the whole blasted episode - but doesn't he always? He was chortling all the way home. Ah well, at least I bring life and merriment to the table always....at my own expense unfortunately! Thanks for the read!


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

You are a "Lucille Ball" for sure Audrey and you have gotten there the hard way...you've earned it! LOL! The guy in the restroom probably peed all over himself so he had to sneak out and go home. That happens to me when my wife goes on one of her surprise screaming episodes! Good Write! WB


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon Author

JAS - Glad to bring you a chuckle!

Hanna - Oh my poor friend - I'm sorry....remember what I said about the pillow...and it goes on your stitches, not over your mouth!


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 5 years ago from London, UK

Thanks for the agony bursting my stitches.


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Thanks so much for this story made my morning!


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Thanks James - The cleanliness must have been it then!! My mom is a total nut about bathrooms and she usually disappears for so long we begin to think something has happened to her but we think she's using Lysol in there! Thanks for enjoying my romp.

Om - Now that's better!! Maybe he didn't see any Tampax dispensers in his groggy state. I would feel better if I'd meet a fellow (especially the one from Gregg's Grill though I can't for the life of me remember that he looks like) in the ladies room!! Thanks so much for stopping by.


Om Paramapoonya profile image

Om Paramapoonya 5 years ago

Hehehe poor little Audrey! Thanks for sharing your restroom faux pas. I actually have a similar experience. At my old job, I was washing my hands in the ladies room one morning and suddenly a sleepy-looking male coworker came out from one of the stalls. He walked over to the sink next to me and started to wash his hands. We looked at each other for a few seconds, then he just said "oh shit" and ran away! It was just very weird that it took him so long to realize he was in the wrong place! He must have been extremely sleepy that day.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 5 years ago from Chicago

Both stories are very funny. Your setups are great, and you know how to deliver the punchline. Well done!

I think Standard stations advertised that they had the cleanest restrooms in the country. I enjoyed your Hub very much. :D


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Ken - OMG - I would have probably fainted had I seen a man walk out of the stall - or wondered if you were 'transgender'...and I'd probably ask!!

Laurel - Yes, that's me - a regular peeping Thomasina....


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 5 years ago from Bishop, Ca

How truly funny, Audrey!! But I'm wondering if you've a thing for men's rooms. Hmm. Perhaps you've a little 'Peeping Thomasina' in you??

Funny stuff!


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

Don't feel so bad your not alone in going into the wrong bathroom. I went into a woman's because the mens toilets were plugged up. I went inside a cubicle sat down and did my business and listened to a woman passing gas in the next stall.

We both finished at the same time and I never saw a woman so freaked out and red-faced as this lady was, I winked, washed my hands and left smiling. What can I say, I had to go somewhere and I was not about to do it in the bush. he he he


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon Author

You know how much I love to tell my stories, Katie but stories are no fun unless someone laughs along with you! Thanks for always being there!!


katiem2 profile image

katiem2 5 years ago from I'm outta here

Oh how funny, I love to laugh, it feels great and I'm so happy to read your very funny stories. You made me think of some funny bathroom restroom stories myself. Love and Peace :)


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Thanks KKG - My life is one goofy thing after the other and as you can see, I started early in life!


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 5 years ago from Sunny Florida

akircher, I just love your stories. I can't stop laughing. But seriously, sometimes it's hard to tell the Men's from the Women's with the way they label them(or dont'). Voted up and funny.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon Author

I know BJ - but I'll never tell!

Firemanak - I'm not so sure it would be worth a free drink but I do know some folks that it might work for! Thanks for the read.

Gus - Now THAT would be embarrassing!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA

Hi Audrey - It is a good thing that you were not tagging along with my wife and me at a crazy place we used to go for some R and R. Every time a gal would leave her table and head for the rest room, they'd put a spotlight on her and play "Charge" on the trumpet.

Gus :-)))


firemanak 5 years ago

Love your stories, I will admit I went into the ladies bathroom once, but the bartender pointed at it. I did get a free drink for having a sense of humor


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Right!!! That's what they all say! :)


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Paula K - I imagine as a kid that would have damaged me for life! ha ha - doubt it but I would have died of embarrassment - bad enough when you're an adult.

BJ - I was a bumpkin, there is no doubt about it. Having never been around men growing up I guess that's my 'excuse' but how are little girls supposed to know about such 'sinks?'. I just can't believe I was examining them and TOUCHING them----ewwwwww. I'm not a prude (oh really?) by any means but I almost got down on the floor to see if the water was going to come out. Now THAT would have made a pleasant sight if someone had walked in!!!

I know what you mean though on fast retreats. I'm surprised I'm still not in the women's restroom at the Grill. I was worried about going back for weeks. And the folks who own it and work there still laugh at me when I come in - what's THAT about? I can only wish (NOT) you'd had the same experience and met some nice fellow in the washroom. Good lord - I am STILL embarrassed about that and I didn't see anything....I swear!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

OK, Audrea, you will have to admit this is true friendship. I knew all along what those funny long sinks were but I read all the way to the end of your hub regardless. Because it was so hilariously funny.

And also because I once - just once - did the same thing. I entered the men's bathroom instead of the ladies' in a theater even though I had been in the correct loo many times. I realized what I had done the minute after I entered and luckily, the room was empty. I broke the speed record for restroom escapes by several seconds. I was so embarrassed I could not look anyone in the face even though my party were already queued up at the concession stand. I feel your pain, babe. :)


PaulaK profile image

PaulaK 5 years ago from Austin. Texas

I have ended up in the Men's room too. I was coming out of the stall and a man was entering the restroom. I don't know who was more embarrassed, me or him. My face turned brilliant red!


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon Author

Pamela - The most amazing thing is that they keep happening....Bob says I am a comedy magnet. They say laughter is good for the soul so I just keep laughing. Thanks so much for laughing along with me!


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 5 years ago from United States

Audry, You are really a character. You have more funny stories than anyone I know and I love reading your hubs.

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