Funny jokes About in Laws

Mother-in-law VS daughter in-law

Ooops

A man returned home from the night shift and went straight up to the bedroom. He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the horny husband crawled under the sheet and proceeded to make love to her. Afterward, as he hurried downstairs for something to eat, he was startled to find breakfast on the table and his wife pouring coffee.

"How'd you get down her so fast?" he asked.  "We were just making love!" 

"Oh my God," his wife gasped, "That's my mother up there!  She came over early and had complained of having a headache.  I told her to lie down for awhile."

Rushing upstairs, the wife ran to the bedroom.  "Mother, I can't believe this happened.  Why didn't you say something?" 

The mother-in-law huffed, "I haven't spoken to that jerk for fifteen years, and I wasn't about to start now!"

Why Mother In Laws Should Knock

Bury Me At Sea

Herb: Promise me that when I die, I'll be buried way out at sea, with nothing around for miles.

Blanche: Why would you want that?

Herb: Because your mother vowed to dance on my grave.


Son In-Law in the family biz

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations."

The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise."

"I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations."

"I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day."

"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?"

"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."

And the clock on the wall says. . .

Wife: Dear, this afternoon the big clock fell off the wall. Had it fallen a moment sooner, my mother would have been hit on the head and badly hurt.

Husband : Oh, my God! That clock has always been slow.

My mother-in-law is an angel

Fred and Rick were in a pub. Fred says to his mate, 'My mother-in-law is an angel.'
Rick replies, 'You're lucky. Mine is still alive.'

What is the difference between outlaws and in-laws? Outlaws are Wanted. 

Adam and Eve were the happiest, and the luckiest, couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.

My In-Laws Made an Outlaw Out of Me

Use Old Before New

A constantly nagged and harried husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year Christmas came again and this year he didn't buy her any gift.

Mother-in-law was upset and asked the son-in-law why was she forgotten this time.

The angry son-in-law responded, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

JEFF BATES MY INLAWS ARE OUTLAWS

Death on Vacation

During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalam, George's mother-in-law died.

With death certificates in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the states for proper burial.

The Consul, after hearing of the death of the
mother-in-law told George that the sending of a body back to the states for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000.00.

The Consul continues, in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here. This would only cost $150.00.

George thinks for some time and answers, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back; that's what I want to do."

The Consul, after hearing this, says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much consdering the difference in price."

"No, it's not that," says George. "You see, I know of a case years ago of a person that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day he arose from the dead !

I just can't take that chance.

I Am Single Because

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Comments 34 comments

Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America Author

Welcome equealla,

Thanks for the very nice comments. I am 100% sure your crowd at home will love it too. Please come again and visit my other hubs too. Good night


equealla profile image

equealla 6 years ago from Pretoria, South Africa

I must not laugh too loud, cause the fate of being a mom in law is still awaiting me. Uggggh. This is a title I have to dodge, so must think of something else they must call me. Will discuss it with my crowd @ home. lol

This was funny. I needed the laugh!


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America Author

Welcome gangu786,

Thanks for your thoughtful comments. Please come back & visit my other hubs too. Enjoy rest of your day.


gangu786 6 years ago

funny cracks keep it up


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America Author

Welcome lovekv,

Thanks for reading & commenting. Please come again & visit my other hubs too. Enjoy rest of your day.


lovekv profile image

lovekv 6 years ago

SUPER BODY KEEP IT UP


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America Author

Hi Baileybear,

Thanks I appreciate for your nice comments. Please come again. Have a wonderful day.


Baileybear 6 years ago

great punchline!


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America Author

Hi sameerk,

Thanks for the visit, reading and commenting on this hub. Please come again. Have a wonderful weekend.


sameerk profile image

sameerk 6 years ago from India

hillarious


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America Author

Welcome MaryRenee,

Thanks for reading & leaving your wonderful thoughts. I really appreciate, please come again. Good night


MaryRenee 6 years ago

Mr Nice: Lol, what a great hub! Thanks for sharing! :)


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America Author

Hi Dr. Cherie,

How are you? Thanks for reading and commenting. Hope to see you soon again. Enjoy your weekend.


Dr. Cherie profile image

Dr. Cherie 6 years ago from Hamburg, NY

Hey, Mr. Nice,

Checkin' in and got many chuckles. When I need another, I'll be back. Great hub, nice change, and I'll be waiting for more. Thanks!


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America Author

Welcome Minnetonka Twin,

Thanks for the nice comments. Please come again. Enjoy rest of your day.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 6 years ago from Minnesota

That was a blast! thanks for the great hub!


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America Author

Welcome again KoffeeKlatch Gals,

Thanks for reading another hub & commenting. Please come again. enjoy rest of your day.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 6 years ago from Sunny Florida

Mr Nice your jokes are very funny. I especially like Use Old Before New. Also you have great cips. I enjoyed this hub very much.


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America Author

Kako si Tatjana,

Thanks I really appreciate for your thoughtful comments. I also know you really deserve more traffic because you are working harder than me & you have more hubs than me. Well, I just work smarter & only when I feel like to work.:D

When I am in good mood I produce excellent stuff to make you happy.

Your Island house sounds like a dreamland, when it's ready, do you think I can put my mattress somewhere too.....hahaha.

Well your traffic is good too but I think it's more from hubpages because you spent lots of time networking on hubpages. Good night

Always love, peace & happiness and a big hug. ....


Tatjana-Mihaela profile image

Tatjana-Mihaela 6 years ago from Zadar, CROATIA

Congratulations on 200.000, Tony. As Prettydarkhorse said - you really deserve it because you all make us laugh, what is so great. Thank you.

I often cannot reply on messages, because I am usually 4 days at week on the island (Iz is just behind island Ugljan, which is near Zadar), and there we still do not have Internet connection ( we have to start with building soon, so before we do not finish at least first part of house,( for what I hope it will go reasonably quickly), there is no point to bring PC there.

We also have olive trees there - 40-50 old ones and some new ones (just bought 5 today), so it will be a lot of olive oil in the future...and lot of digging as well, LOL.

I enjoy it...it is much more interesting and relaxing then listening about diseases, hehe....

BTW, I will have to learn from you how you use right tags for hubs, your traffic is excellent. I also hit 200000, but...I think I deserve more, LOL.

Love and peace and many hugs.


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America Author

Welcome Maita,

Blog is really pain in the butt, I didn't like the blog. I made one blog at blogspot but I never posted any updates. It is definitely not for me.

What is your experience about the Twitter? Thanks I really appreciate for your thoughtful comments. I just find out from the hubpages help section how accolades work.

The next level after 100,000 views is 1000,000 views and that is the time accolades will update.

Therefore looking at accolades you can't get the real stats about the hubber. I am thinking to make a hub about this.

Linking with other hubs will give you more traffic from hubpages but it is not useful because hubbers don't click on your links. Therefore Google organic traffic is the best. I always prefer Google organic traffic. Good night

Tony


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

yuu are hilariously crazy hehe, in a good sense cos you made my day very good now, I kept on laughing, I hibernated for at least a week, I learned a lot from the 60 day challenge, days are good at times, I am just happy that I learned something, and I am the type who would like to learn and push myself that I can do it, but always challenging myself, I learned to make a blog, but i don't have time for it, I just post my hubs there for the thirty days in making hubs as part if th challenge.

I am good, how about you?

Congratulations, you deserve to have 200 hundred thousand and more views, you make people happier with your hubs...more more more, that's a great achievement considering you don't backlink, but you are a genius at words hehe

Take care Tony, Maita


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America Author

Welcome rls8994,

Thanks for reading & commenting. Please come again. Have a wonderful weekend.


rls8994 profile image

rls8994 6 years ago from Mississippi

These were hilarious!! I so enjoyed reading them! Thanks for the laughs!


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America Author

Welcome dinkan53,

Thanks for reading & commenting. I do have many more funny hubs. You can visit them whenever you can. Have a wonderful weekend.


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America Author

Welcome back Tatjana,

How are you stranger? Looooong time no chat. Well you are busy making money. I really appreciate for your visit & for the thoughtful comments. I made several funny hubs during your absence. You can can visit them if you have time. Have a wonderful weekend.

Always love, peace & happiness for you......


dinkan53 profile image

dinkan53 6 years ago from India

funny, thanks for sharing. Waiting for more.......


Tatjana-Mihaela profile image

Tatjana-Mihaela 6 years ago from Zadar, CROATIA

Excellent, hilarious, I love your funny Hubs, Tony.

Peace and hugs.


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America Author

welcome samboiam,

Thanks for reading & commenting. Please come again. Have a wonderful weekend.


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America Author

welcome theindianblues,

Thanks & I appreciate for your comments. Please come again. Have a wonderful weekend.


samboiam profile image

samboiam 6 years ago from Texas

That was absolutely hilarious. I needed the laugh.


theindianblues profile image

theindianblues 6 years ago from Somewhere on the Globe

Nice jokes Mr Nice! Good sense of humor!!


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America Author

Hi drbj,

Thanks for the visit & for your thoughtful comments. I try my best to select the funniest & best stuff. Please come again & have wonderful day.


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

Hi, Mr. Nice, nice hub. Your jokes are funny and some of them were even new to me. Not an easy task because I collect really funny jokes and stories. Thanks for the funny videos, too. Good job.

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