George Washingmissileton

George Washingmissileton
George Washingmissileton | Source

Say hello to The Father of Our Country’s Fireworks, George Washingmissileton.

As I’m sure you must have heard in your grade-school American History class, Good Ol’ George was “first in war, first in peace, and first in the incendiary festivals of his countrymen”. It is no wonder that we honor his image and memory with Fourth of July pyrotechnics.

George’s lifelong honesty and integrity are well-recorded. As a child, he ‘could not tell a lie’, and admitted blasting apart one of his father’s cherry trees. Raised as an affluent gentleman farmer and plantation owner in rural Virginia, George followed his stints as county surveyor and land speculator with duty as a colonel in the French and Indian War of the latter 1750s. Thereafter a well-known and a widely-respected military figure, George of course truly made his name during our nation’s war of independence, in his role as The Continental Army’s Exploder in Chief.

And so we honor Gen. George Washingmissileton, the ‘Big Bang’ that marked the origin of our nation.

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