Going to Poona - Part Three: Returning to Dehu Road after Dark

Chai and Pakhora Wallah

When I woke up, the train was just pulling into Dehu Road Cantonment Station, and I thought for a minute we were still at the railway station in Poona. The Chai Wallahs and the Pani Wallahs were still around the train, and I could hear them calling out “Pani, Memsahib” and “Chai! Chai, Sahib” but they were different Chai Wallahs and Pani Wallahs, and there weren’t as many as in Poona.


We got out of the train, and some porters came and asked Daddy if he had any luggage to carry, but he ignored them.

Then I saw him; Krishna was standing right outside the window of out carriage. I don’t think he had been there all day, because he said he was going home when he had come to the station that morning. Daddy had some packages that he gave to Krishna to carry and Krishna said, “Salaam Sahib. Salaam Memsahib!” and “Salaam Chota Sahib,” and then he said “Good evening, Memsahib” and Mummy smiled at him, and said. “Good evening Bearer”. Mummy and Daddy never called him, “Krishna"; they always called him "Bearer".


He put his hands together when he said, “Salaam” and I did the same, with my hands together and said, “Salaam, Krishna”.

Then we left the railways station, and outside the station there was a tonga rank, The tongas were standing there with the horses looking at the ground, or having their dinner out of a bag on their noses. There were Tonga Wallahs; squatting on the ground and talking to each other, but as we came out of the station, they ran up and called out, “Tonga Sahib?” and one Tonga Wallah got up on the front of the tonga and held the whip in the air and called out and was asking us and other people to come to his tonga.

Daddy told Krishna to get a nice tonga and I think it must have been Krishna’s friend, and he came and we all got in. Krishna and I were at the back as we had been in the morning; Mummy and Daddy were inside, and the man started the tonga and we clip clopped along the road. Krishna had Mummy’s parcels in his lap and he had his arm around me in case I fell off. I didn’t mind because I liked it when Krishna did that, and he had a nice smell.

It wasn’t very hot any more, and I could hear Mummy telling Daddy how lovely the sunset was. Mummy loved looking at sunsets and would stand on the verandah and look at them and tell me to look at them too, because they were so beautiful.

We were going along the Bombay-Poona Road, and when the Tonga Wallah arrived at the road where we lived, we turned the corner. I knew we were turning into our road, because that’s the corner with the big tamarind tree is; where my two friends live. We were going along the road and it was beginning to get dark, but instead of going all the way home to our bungalow, the Tonga Wallah suddenly stopped the tonga.

I could feel Mummy and Daddy getting out because the tonga creaked and tilted to the side. They came around to the back where I was sitting with Krishna.

“Come along, Ian-Hugh,” said Daddy. He only called me that when there was something really nice happening, or I wasn’t feeling very well.

I turned to Krishna, but he just nodded his head and smiled a great big smile.

“Come along, Darling,” said Mummy.

I got down from the tonga, and looked at Krishna. I didn’t know what was happening

Krishna put his fingers to his lips, as if we had a secret, yet he didn’t get down. He stayed on the tonga with the Tonga Wallah. The tonga started up again, and went on up the road towards our bungalow. I waved to Krishna and he waved back to me.

When the tonga had gone, I saw the area beside the cinema had changed so much. There were lots and lots of people. It was like there was a big party going on. There were people everywhere. And wherever I looked there were people eating sweets. They were lovely sweets. My favourite; my absolute favourite sweets were Jelabies.

Daddy said, “Shall we stop here or do you want to go home?”

I looked at him and he was smiling and I knew that he didn’t mean it.

“I think I’ll stay,” I said. It was so exciting. Daddy and Mummy walked over to a man and I went with them. I was holding Mummy’s hand. The man was making Jelabies in front of me. There was a big degchi with a fire under it. The degchi was full of boiling gee and the man had a sort of funnel which had lots of little spouts like a comb that he put stuff in; Mummy said it was batter in the little funnels and he drew patterns on the top of the gee and it got fat and made funny shapes. Just like little iron gates but it was made out of bright, bright yellow crispy sweets and it tasted lovely. The funny shapes jumped around on the top of the hot gee. These were Jelabies that he was making. Daddy paid the Jelabies Wallah and he gave me some in paper. I couldn’t eat it straight away because it was very hot and the man put it into little white paper folded up. And some of them he put in pieces of folded Indian newspapers with all squiggly writing on it like Daddy was teaching me how to read.

There was another man selling Gulab Jamin and Barfi but Jelabies were my favourite. Daddy bought some Barfi and Gulab Jamin, bit they didn’t eat them. I think they were for later.

Rama and Sita


Outside the cinema, in the big space between the cinema, where my friend Lal was the projectionist, and the entrance to the swimming pool there was an area which was usually empty and dry and flat, with lots of little stones and white dust. Now it was full of hundred of people doing things; walking around and laughing and having a good time.

There was a tall box and it was a Punch and Judy show, but not Punch and Judy like we had on the boat when we came to India, but it was an Indian Punch and Judy show and they were telling the story of Rama and Sita; when Sita gets captured by a wicked, wicked god but Hanuman the Monkey god, who comes with all of his monkey army and rescues her. It was so exciting and I was standing there with the other children and the grownups and everyone was laughing when the nasty god got beaten and I suddenly felt someone holding my hand and it was Krishna. And that made everything even better.


Hanuman - the Monkey God



When the Puppet show about Rama and Sita had finished, a man’s head came up out of the top of the Punch and Judy show and the man said, “Thank you for watching and could we put some money in the man’s hand?” and another man came and some people put some Pice or Pie in the man’s hand and he said, “Shukria and Salaam Sahib”.

Then we walked on a little bit towards home and there was a man and he was just sitting on the ground and he opened his mouth and he took a big sharp knife and he cut off his tongue; it was horrible. I was watching and Mummy was watching and I could tell she thought it was horrible too. I don’t think Daddy liked it either. The man closed his mouth and he made his eyes go inside out. I couldn’t see the brown part of his eyes; just the white bits and he turned his eyes inside out and then he opened them and then he laughed and he went “Ha ha ha” and he opened his mouth and he waggled his tongue. His tongue was back again, He had cut it off and suddenly it was working again. Then he stuck it out and he licked all the way around and his tongue went all the way around his cheeks and over his nose and it was nasty; but it was funny at the same time.

That was so exciting and people were laughing and having a lovely time. But I think I liked the show about Rama and Sita best… and Hanuman. And the Jelabies.

Then Mummy and Daddy said that it was late and we had to get home. So we walked home and all the way along the road to our bungalow was so beautiful because usually it was dark at night and you would walk carefully and you would have to take a torch so you didn’t trip over things, or walk on a snake. But this time the road was so pretty on either side because every house; every fence; every brick wall; on all the windowsills were tiny little lamps and they were all burning.

They were diwas. Mummy and Daddy were walking along in front and Krishna and I were walking along behind them. Krishna was holding my hand and he was telling me why the diwas were burning. Krishna said that that was because it was Diwali and that is called the Festival of Lights because of Rama and Sita and Hanuman that I had seen at the Punch and Judy show. How beautiful it was.

When we got home, even our bungalow had diwas on it, although nobody was there. Well we didn’t think anybody was there; just the Sweeper and Khansama. Our bungalow was covered in lights as well; from lots of diwas. They were on the railings; on the veranda; on the windowsills; they were on the front wall. They were everywhere. It was so, so pretty. I think Diwali was my most favourite time – ever.


Daddy said, “I know it’s late, but wait and see. There’s a big surprise. Go and put on your pyjamas and you can come out again. But don’t forget your chappals because you don’t want a scorpion to sting your toes, do you?”

There was a surprise for me. Khansama and Krishna and Mali had made a special surprise for me. Mummy and Daddy knew about it, but I didn’t. They had planned a firework display – just for me. I sat on the top step and Mummy and Daddy sat on their chairs on the verandah behind me. We all watched.

There were fireworks that went “Bang” and there were some that made coloured lights go in the air. They were Roman candles. There were skyrockets and they were so beautiful. Krishna and Khansama had bought the fireworks all by themselves, and paid for them themselves and it was a special treat for me. I think the Mali did as well.

At the very end, when we clapped and we laughed, I suddenly realised that the Sweeper and his family were down at the side of the bungalow as well and they were watching. That was nice for them.

We clapped and clapped and clapped and Krishna said, “This is the special one for Chota Sahib,” but it was all special for me, There was a big post near the gate to the compound and there was a round thing on it like a white snake all curled up which he had nailed to the post.. Krishna lit the end of it, and for a little while, nothing happened, but then it started to make a spitting noise fizzing and started to go round and round and it was so beautiful. It went round and round and it made big circles and all different colours. It went round and round; faster and faster and it made lovely colours and sparkly bits. There were colours and bright flashing sprays of light.

Daddy said, “That’s my favourite; my most favourite firework of all”. It’s called a Catherine Wheel. It went round and round and round and round. There was smoke and coloured flashes. And the smell of fireworks as well. In the dark it was so beautiful. Eventually it stopped turning around and there was smoke and we all clapped and Mummy and Daddy said, “Say ‘Thank you’ to Bearer and say ‘Thank you ‘ to Khansama and say ‘Thank you’ to Mali’”

So I said, “Thank you, Krishna and Thank you Khansama,” and I said Thank you to the Mali as well.

Then, before we went to bed, we had a tiny bit of Jelabies and that was the best day of my life - ever.

A Glossary of Words used in this three part Story

Sahib:Used formerly as a form of respectful address for a European man inBritish India

Chota: little

Chota Sahib: Little Sir. Term of respect for a small boy

Memsahib: A married white or upper-class woman. Respectful form of address

Chapplis: Form of sandal with two broad leather straps: left to right and right to left meeting at the heel of the foot with a buckle. Leather sole.

Chappals: Open type of outdoor footwear, consisting of a flat sole held loosely on the foot by a Y-shaped strap, like a thin thong, that passes between the first (big) and second toes and around either side of the foot.

Degchi: A deep round saucepan traditionally made of brass or copper, but stainless steel is also available.

Tonga(Tanga)A light horse-drawn carriage used for transportation inIndia,Pakistan

Khansama: Cook

Bearer: Man in charge of the running of the household; under Memsahib, or Sahib. Also given the responsibility for a male British child.

Mali: Gardener

Poona: (Present day Pune)The eighth largest metropolis in India, the second largest in the state of Maharashtra after Bombay(present day Mumbai).

Sadhu: a holy man, sage, or ascetic.

More by this Author


Comments 156 comments

SilverGenes 5 years ago

The sights, sounds, and scents conjured up in your words carries me off into a time and place that otherwise, I would have no way of knowing. Thank you... I am captivated! Yes, thoroughly!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you for visiting. Please call and call again. I know I am being pushy, but if you like this, you may well like:

http://hubpages.com/literature/are_or_ah

and

http://hubpages.com/literature/Krishna_in_the_Morn


SilverGenes 5 years ago

Pushy? Not at all! Thank you for directing me to more. This is truly an experience for me. I feel as if I can't get enough and could read and read and read... and so I shall :)


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Bless you for being so kind; so encouraging.


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 5 years ago from Texas

I was always fascinated by the religion and beliefs in India. Correct me if I'm wrong, but India has more deities than any other country. I was reading an article about christian missionaries on mission in India. The Indians took to christianity, and accepted the beliefs with all their heart. But then the missionaries were aghast when these same individuals continued to worship their other deities. The reason being that it wasn't uncommon for some to worship multiple deities at once, and that the christian god was just another deity. I read it in an anthropological journal.


Becky 5 years ago

This is fascinating. I have enjoyed this immensely and will get to others.


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

Yes it was a simple day out, but a magical one in its telling. It told us so much about your early life and the mingling of two completely different cultures. The fire works brought back vivid memories of bonfire nights in England, where we would also be captivated by their splendor. A great read Ian. Cheers


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

This is so true, Augustine. If you talk to a Hindu, he/she will refer to God, and I know they are referring to the God that I think is the only god. The Hindu pantheon is made up of a series of gods who are simply facets of that one god.

I wish I could remember the song, but there is one in a Bollywood movie, and it refers to Shiva and Jesus Christ and Love and mixes them all up and it is so refreshingly innocent and FUN.

My parents never insisted that I should follow any religion, and so I could choose whatever I wished to believe in.

Of course I could not be a Hindu; one has to be born a Hindu... unlike Christianity and Islam where one can choose,,, and Hebraic choice which is somewhat different because there is a race issue there.

Here endeth the first lesson.

I hope you liked the story.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Becky. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for your "steadfastness", I am so happy that you have enjoyed what you have found so far.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you, Keith. Yes, the bonfires in the UK and the cold and coming in afterwards to"something warm" and the frozen fingers and toes.

Imagine a lovely warm night and the fireworks and the celebrations of Rama and Sita and the ubiquitous sweets that are part of any sub Continental celebrations.

I am glad you enjoyed our day out.


nidhi.singh profile image

nidhi.singh 5 years ago from Pittsburgh

awesome work! this story reminded me of my childhood days when i used to watch Malgudi Days.

love the words you have used(saheb, chota, chapal).

since today is 4th july , people here(U.S) are super excited about the fireworks.Few people were explaining to me about the crackers and i had to tell them that i am from a land where diwali is celebrated.


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Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

George worked at the City Water Department with a very fine Indian gentleman. He treated us to an Indian meal at Radha Kalachandji, a lovely and highly rated restaurant within his Hare Krishna Temple here in Dallas. The temple area was magnificent with it's vaulted ceiling painted with scenes of the Krishna-god and his blue face. Everything did smell wonderful in there and Suresh's own aroma was delightful, no doubt from his vegetarian dietary habits and life-style. Another time, he invited us to his home, where his wife and daughter made us a traditional meal. They served our meal at the table and ate their own later, when we were done. Suresh "stood up with" George at our wedding in my living room. We both treasured his friendship. Your mention of the way your Krishna smelled reminds me of all this.

Your getting the jelabies treat, hot and wrapped in paper and newspaper also brings back a slightly different treat of my childhood. There were no "ice cream carts" on the streets of Del Rio. Instead there were "tamale carts" - pushcarts full of hot steaming home-made, incredibly tasty tamales. They were a penny apiece and I'd run in the house and ask for pennies to buy some. They're not sweets, but a special meat filling wrapped first in soft corn dough and then in a corn husk to preserve them once the corn dough is cooked. At the ranch, Dominga made them and buried them in the rocky ground to keep for the future. There was no refrigeration there then. The tamales seemed to last, though I only sampled them when first made, before burial. Dominga's sanitation was questionable, at best, but I survived, obviously!

Ugh - the tongue-cutting and recovery! ugh!

Wow - the fireworks display - suits this 4th of July I'm enjoying reading your story!! I was fond of "sparklers". I always had them at such occasions as a kid and George always made sure I had some for New Year's and the 4th.

Indeed you had a magical day and I feel as though I've shared it almost first-hand! What a talent you have! Hugs.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Nidhi, please don't think I am being rude, but I have a feeling that Singh is a Sikh name. Is Diwali celebrated in that culture. Our khansama celebrated Diwali with the fireworks and the sweets, and he was a Muslim.

I love the whole range of celebration... Holi bothered me, because I don't like the mess, but Eid and Diwali I loved.

I'm glad I have brought back some memories.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

This made me so sad: "They served our meal at the table and ate their own later, when we were done." This is a practice that I thought had died out. Upper class Hindus will not eat with a non Hindu in case it should break their caste. Some Hindus will pretend to eat with guests who are not Hindus; out of manners.

When you went out for the meal at the Radha Kalachandji, did he eat with you, or pick at his food (not actually eating)?


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

It saddened me, too, Ian - though perhaps for other reasons. It seemed to be a denial of the women the right to participate with the guests - because of a lower status for them AS women. I knew nothing of a caste connection. I can understand that it would sadden you if it indicated the practice of a retrograde rule of religious belief.

I believe that Suresh was Hare Krishna, which may not be the same as Hindu. (?) At that time, It was being noticed in this country mostly when young Hare Krishna priests with shaved heads and a particular style of clothing - (and attitude) - make their presence known in public. That Suresh, with his sedate and learned manner seemed to turn out to embrace it surprised me at the time. Now that I think of it, though - maybe he was or wasn't of that persuasion. He may just have liked the cuisine! His 'tour-guide' for us of the Temple seemed to indicate he embraced it. I certainly didn't cross-examine him, though I did collect some of the literature on display in the Temple and browsed over it. It seemed too "other" or foreign to me, though - and I didn't pursue it.

Whether or not his womenfolk shared that belief, I definitely don't know.

I do know that he was VERY particular about eating no meat or animal products. At the time, I was a Director in Mary Kay and was always extremely busy with my work, which included many business lunches. Consequently, I didn't always cook much in my preferred way or always stock my preferred foodstuffs. At one time when Suresh visited George and me, I had no vegetables on hand. He couldn't believe it. He would apparently have had no compunctions about eating with us if I'd had anything on hand which he could eat.

Yes - he ate with us at the Radha Kalachandji - though it was back in the early 1980s and I wouldn't have been aware of his holding back if he'd been trying to minimize it to be polite, probably. It didn't occur to me to consider that he might be holding back. He'd been very insistent that we join him for the meal there, as his guests. He recommended entrees for us and explained a lot of the foods. I recall a tasty flat bread he called "dal" or "dahl" - something like that. And I happen to adore curry, turmeric, cumin, cilantro and ginger and use them lavishly for everyday things not usually associated with all those flavors in this country. I loved the flavors of all the food at Radha Kalachandji!! Maybe I was too engrossed in eating to notice his approach to it! ;>


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nidhi.singh 5 years ago from Pittsburgh

singh is a not only a sikh surname but also a hindu rajput surname. i belong to the second category and our rajput king was Maharana Pratap Singh. Diwali is celebrated as a day that lord Ram returned to ayodhya after defeating ravana As lord rama is a hindu god, diwali was basically celebrated among hindus, sikhs, jain, but whole of india gathered during festival of light.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Nidhi, please accept my apology. Now I know about the name, Singh.

I have heard of Pratap Singh. And I do know the story of Rama and Sita and the causeway and Hanuman.

I went to school in Maharashtra and I can remember the teachers handing out jelabies at play time and singing songs and the teachers showing us how to make diwas.

Magical times for a little boy.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

The Hari Krishna crowd are, I believe a very westernised branch of a religious cult that I find very annoying. We have then in London, and they wander around the streets offering gulab jamin and jelabies and looking soppy with their heads shaven and wearing saffron robes.

They are just from the Beetles era and are so Flower Power that I want to smack them. Can you remember the old fake the Maharishi Yogi... same crowd or like them.

Perhaps they have branches in India, but I feel not. But I will be corrected if needs be.

The flat bread you are thinking of isn't dal or dhal, it's nan. If you get the chance to eat it, try peshawri nan... flat bread with all the usual spices but also sultanas. Delicious.

Dhal or dal is lwntil. There are many lentils and I don't know many by name, but love them. Babar, the guy who feeds and makes sure I am taken care of is an exceptional cook, and when he isn't at University he is cooking all sorts of India food for me. He, like I, is a Pakistani.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Dear Ian,

Another beautiful outing full of sights and sounds that made me feel as if I was there with you. Thank you for sharing this wonderful part of your life..Please keep them coming..I love the little boy in you..he seems like such a sweet sweet lad. Of course..I think you stil are..you just didn't have the bugger part back then..lol

Sunnie


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

The bugger part was there under the surface, just waiting to be let out... or at least to be developed.

Ask Steve.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

I can not believe it...not that cute little boy I see in the picture...haha


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

You wanna see cute. I'll do a hub about me when I was in Baluchistan and then I'll show you cute. You'll even see me naked... but I suppose HP police with unpublish it.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

I read in awe of your description of the day. Then as you were concluding, I saw that your ‘Mummy’ and ‘Daddy’ and your beloved caretakers were all cemented in love that revolved around the little child that was you. They brought out a world full of wonder and laid them at your feet. They honored you.


Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie 5 years ago from Euroland

I enjoyed all three parts - they were simply fascinating, and all the while is the thought of the little boy of many years ago. Lovely.


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 5 years ago from India

I promise to get the most wonderful jalebis for you of you come visit :)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Yes, I am sure those are they of whom I speak. Yes, annoying. Oh, yes, I do remember Maharishi Yogi. "Old fake" fits my image of him to a T. Thank you for the information about that flat bread and the recommendation of peshawri nan. Perhaps I need to poke around and see if there are any Indian food stores I might access. I love lentils, too. Do you suppose the restaurant made a lentil bread and called it by that name?

I've had a Pakistani online friend for many years. He lives in Lahore. I'm rather out of touch with him at present, though I did encourage him to join HP, but he's done nothing here of which I know beyond writing a brief profile. If inactivity causes people to be purged in the new HP plan, he may be. He is very literate and knows the English language better than many for whom it's the mother tongue. As a young man, he was taught be an Indian/British lady. This is his HP profile page which is still listed as of now: http://hubpages.com/@advisorytab

Our earlier contact was in the old MSN 'groups', then on Instant Messenger. I just seldom even open IM so that's how I've lost touch with him. We had man a wonderful conversation though.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

"...had man a wonderful..." = "...had many a wonderful..."

Must be past my bedtime! :-)


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Mck, I know there was a lot of love there. But Krishna was the only one who showed it. If I had been treated with overt love by my mother, and certainly by my father, I would not be hard enough to grow up to be as hard and cool to the 'Natives' as so many British termed the Indians,

Even at that stage, the British would not admit that the Empire was finished,


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you, Mark. I am glad you liked it. Did these episodes bring tears to your eyes? I still feel a deep sense of sadness when I think of the little girl in Poona and how she appeared everywhere, and I will never forget her loss of her feet.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you, Shalini, and i promise to eat them when they are still fresh... and warm. The most amazing taste, Right?

Thank you for your visit.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

So your friend is a Lahori. Punjabis are some if the most beautiful people in the sub Continent. The Punjab is in both Pakistan and India.

My friend, who comes from NWFP (North West Frontier province - now Khyber Pakhtunkhwa) has a better understanding of the English language than I.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

That sounded like the best day of your life...ever. I bet it was some fun, quite a change from the everyday.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thanks, Nikki. I thought I was in for a telling off, but you liked it, I hope.


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Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

haha Yep I liked it very much. I felt like a kid again.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Then it worked. I am very old, as you should be able to work out by the lots of little clues, but I am still a very small child at heart some times.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

YES, Ian --- "Tabby" - officially aka: Aftab - is a lovely person. He is a Muslim and very dedicated. He helped me appreciate that the religion is not exemplified in the terrorist activities often seen over here as what it is primarily about. His daughter is a medical doctor in the US, his older son is a technological whiz in Japan. As he says in his profile, the younger one is just out of college.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Of course Islam isn't about atrocities and terrorism any more than some of the far right Christians and their hatred of gays and Muslims and anybody who doesn't subscribe to their way of thinking. All my Islamic friends are horrified by the things that are done in the name of a religion which preaches that all men are equal in the sight of God. There are one or two of the things that I find distasteful, such as the inheritance laws which are biased in favour of sons against daughters, but the family system there (Pakistan especially) and dowries tends to flatten those out.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

Thats good, we should all still have the heart of a child, perhaps it would be a much better world.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Yes, Ian. Again and again in man's history, the most inspired, enlightened leaders are followed by many unenlightened people who just "don't get it" and twist the enlightened messages to fit into their own misshapen agendas.

Even the enlightened ones may be heir to their times, such as providing for the second-class status of women. I suppose that Christ was really ahead of his times in that respect, but still, the followers continued to twist it to fit the male-dominance they favored except in the most spiritual of senses, honoring the compassion of women while denying human rights.

In ways dowries do have an affect on the form of the thing, but the status of the woman is not enhanced by it in a real way. Denying any human group such rights is to basically lower the rights of all members of the society, I think. Look what it does to people as they impose the necessary forces to keep the "others" in their "place"!

Of course it's never been a secret that women wield a quiet power "behind the scenes" anyway. But it's that they are deemed unfree to exercise their abilities anywhere else in many societies that is reprehensible and inevitably boomerangs on those in control in those societies and leads to more atrocities.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Attagirl. Spoken as a true human being, and not as a feminist, Nellie.

Wielding the power? I have taught under four head teachers. Two men and two women.

Give me a woman to work under any day.

When I was a child, I had the example of my mother and father around me as my bench mark. And the officers and their wives who lived in the cantonment. Both my parents were very intelligent, but my mother was incredibly so... I just assumed, in that environment, that all women were intelligent, and all men were swaggering soldiers.

I still am convinced after a lifetime of observation, that women are the intelligent and worthwhile sex. And we men are here just for ballast.


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Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Thank you for noticing, Ian. I am in favor of human emancipation. Wherever there is injustice or its effects, it needs to be relieved.

Men have as many issues as women, regardless of which gender may be responsible for creating them. Until PEOPLE are able to see ourselves as that - people, - though, imbalance will surely continue to flourish and harm our species.

No one really gains an advantage by gaining it. All that's accomplished is more and more convoluted injustice & disadvantage. When will we wake up to the fact that the human species is so vulnerable and that we are all in this together?

Many a feminist has merely exchanged her uncomfortable and unfitting position of servitude for that of oppressor and has become the typical "bitch" which is so hated - even more than her male counterpart of "good ole boy" smug chauvinist. These are not the ways to achieve a better way, neither of them. A new human awareness is needed.

Each gender really does possess seeds of greatness which are unalike. It's not a contest, except to realize that the whole, when in harmony, is so much greater than the parts going off on their own and opposing the other.

I've worked under both women and men and to be honest - neither is necessarily superior in a position of authority, except as he or she surpasses mere gender roles and acts in full capacity as a human being.

I adored both my parents who were each quite intelligent. I was with them and was an observant kid who noticed the differences in their individual intelligence, gender orientation and humanistic applications of each of their different vantage points. Each was quite astonishing.

Yet there was still a prevailing prejudice and aura of old-fashioned gender-roles about them.

I found a lengthy, very well written letter he wrote her just before they married and were planning to set off on a mutual mission which none of their families considered wise. Each had just graduated from universities and Dad was telling Mother that they could "do anything they set their minds to together" and that, with their mutual commitment, that they wold succeed and surpass the critics while their critics were still clucking and saying it couldn't be done. That was in 1917, just before they married in June. But as things moved along, I think he became a little alarmed that she might find her own wings too sufficient and so he somewhat clipped them.

She was a totally vibrant woman, so I guess he had justifiable qualms. But he always adored her and she "got by with" so many things "under his nose". I just have to think how much happier they might have been, had he just let her fly free and BE. - She would always have preferred to be with him and he really had nothing to lose. But the old fears claimed him, I guess. And the old wiles of women came to her rescue. tsk tsp.


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Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

make that tsk tsk. Tsp is the abbreviation for teaspoon in recipes! haha.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Nellie, this is the basis of a very fine and interesting hub. It could be in three parts:

The first more or less as you have written it, perhaps almost as a letter to a friend (as it is). Perhaps based on my statement about preferring to work under women (Remember: I was in Education, and that might be the reason)

The second a pithy and expanded history of your parents and their attempt to fight beyond the scope of the "clucking" others.

The third being a summing up.

If you were to make it into a hub, I would have to delete it first, as the HP Police would notice and say it was a copy and prevent you from publishing it.

I would love others to know what a clever and erudite person you are. I know they do already, but I would love them to know it "in spades".

It is too good to "throw away" on a couple of readers in a comment box


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Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Dear Ian - you are so kind! Thank you. I'll mull it over! But it's just another of countless blurbs I've written on many comment boxes over my time on HP. It's been a blessing simply to have somewhere to share so I never feel a spontaneous outpouring as wasted, really, even if it is just given to and/or seen by one other person - or none, for that matter. But you're right. Some of this stuff probably ought to be better immortalized. I keep copies on my computer of most of the stuff I write. If I gathered them all up, I'd have a mishmash of a huge manuscript, I suppose. But I'm more likely to just start afresh!

It reminds me of other things in my life. I am or was quite a good designer and seamstress of my designs from my early teens all through many years. In fact, even as a little girl, I designed and made doll clothes which were a promise of things to come. Then I studied it and excelled at it in college (as a "minor") and went on to do my own clothes, my children's, my in-laws' and others. I was destined to be a designer, I guess. But as Madame Boger (my design teacher at school) said - if I were serious about it, I shouldn't get married! (and she had no idea what a mistake that would turn out to be besides!)

But when it came to creativity, I didn't/couldn't stint! Someone asked me whether I really "needed" all those clothes I made; - that wasn't the point! I NEEDED to express all those design ideas and see them materialize! At least with writing, the storage space is a lot more modest. :-)

On at least one occasion, one of my best and favorite dresses was literally confiscated. It was beautiful & one I'd spent many hours making, too. Mother was so upset, but I just said "Well, she just has the one of my original dresses. But I have many more, plus those I haven't even designed yet!"

I certainly hadn't been diminished by it, even though it was sad that someone would do that - or need to.

But I know - writing and having the stockpile of story resources to be written and ability to write them is not the same thing as designing lovely clothes. Its reality IS in its more tenuous words on a page, and has possibly more far-reaching influence and value for people one might never know personally. So such words really do need to be more meticulously preserved.

Your marvelous outline suggestions about how this little blurb might be expanded into a viable article - or a chapter in a bigger work - is a point most well-taken and for which I am deeply grateful. You're most generous, my knowledgeable mentor! (And I don't say that casually!)


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I was intrigued by the little story of your wonderful creation being "confiscated". Was it jealousy? Spite? Indifference?

If you ever get around to the expansion of that idea, I would willingly be your "beta reader" is you needed one; which I doubt.


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Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Perhaps it wasn't all that intriguing, really, Ian. But as I was writing you about it here, I began to see the possibilities which - in order to make sense - must be retrofitted into the larger picture and time. So I've decided to use it as a hub, perhaps - or something more in line with what you'd probably advise! :-) There are inter-links in it which matter to the flow, and they require space. I have no trouble writing them, - just in limiting them to a normal comment box! And if I decided to publish them subsequently, then you'd have to delete them from here - etc, etc. :-)

I can say that the motive for the confiscation of my creation in question was not easily defined. A little jealousy, perhaps, plus a major sense of privilege to just take it or any of my creative efforts, which was part of a larger array of attitudes and actions then at play. And it all fits into dramatically interwoven events and relationships which sculpted my life, before, during and ongoing. I guess it really is an intriguing story, at that!

Maybe you should be the 'beta reader"! :-) Thank you.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you. I would live to,

Now I am going to launch into trying to write a bit more to my amazingly sensitive and evocative (also described as "iconoclastic") novella 'Setrag Comes to Tea'.

There are dangers that I may be stoned to death for this one, so don't expect it as a hub.


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Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

WOW! Speaking of intriguing! :-)

(Please don't risk any possible stonings! We're not through with you, you know!)


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Some people would pay well for a well organised stoning... I mean as recipients. These over the top born again chaps.

I still can't get into writing the last couple of thousand word of 'Setrag Comes to Tea'.

I can't remember if it was A.A.Zavala or Mckbirdsks who suggested that I should say, "and then they all fell down a well". A lovely neat way of winding up a story.

I may yet resort to it.


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Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Smiling, recalling the advice I saw to write the ending first. But maybe if one pencil in "and then they all fell own a well" as an ending. I'll bet it would lead to finding the right ending to avoid using it!


Becky 5 years ago

I LIKE that ending. It has a definite comic flair.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Hi! Becky. I left you a small note on the other hub of mine that you commented on when talking about your daughter and the books.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I don't think I'll have to push them down the well. I know it isn't much, but I have just written 322 words, and I think I can develop it a little. I am not the most scrivaceous writer on the planet.

(And don't ask where I got "scrivaceous" from).


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Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Was just about to look it up when I saw the parenthetical phrase! :-)

My - you were literally 'burning the midnight oil' and then some!


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I have always believed that there was a word "scrivaceous". Meaning: "tending to write a lot"... Yes, I know you worked that out, but Google and the OED don't agree with me.

They'll just have to admit that I am right, and they are wrong.

Or, they'll just have to admit that I am write (deliberate Malapropism Ha ha!), and they are wrong.


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Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Then, after that, they'll be "wrung (out" and/or 'their collective necks will be wrung') - with shame and inglory. (Is THAT a real word? Evidently my spell checker doesn't recognize it, but I thought it was!)

;-> hehe


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I like it... unless I'm thinking of ignominy.

I remember, a few years ago when the OED decided to delete "Dorking" the name of a particularly attractive domestic fowl, from its pages. Alan Curran, a very witty intellectual based an article in 'The Times' or 'The Telegraph' on the loss from the English language.

I wrote to Curran, agreeing with him and pointing out that my dog, who happened to be Miss Dulcie Dorking-Dog, was distraught at the loss.

The bugger didn't even reply. And I thought my letter was very witty.

Intellectuals. Pah!


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kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

So, I finished reading (not my paper predicament. I think I have to roll in paper this night).

It is a very lovely story - a special memory from your childhood. Very tender and delicate.

I have never... Maybe I don't remember.

But for Daniel I did something special until he was five - then I got sick and his Dad does not understand that we are responsible for creating memories - this time will never come back.

The 5th, the 6th birthdays were uneventful.

But last year I took Daniel to the Canadian National Exhibition - nasty place if you ask me - but it has plenty of attractions for children. I spent way too much - more than I could afford - but the day was very very special. Daniel does remember - he keeps reminding me this and that and he asks me to do it again - I barely survived that day and Daniel though happy and excited was exhausted to the point of being almost hysterical...

I just let him tell me when it was time to go - if I had a car and could put him in a car and transport home, it would have been easier, but I had to drag him from downtown using public transit.

So, August 21 - I have no idea what to do - but I know and you just proved it again - I have to make sure Daniel has something to remember.

Very lovely, Ian, very touching.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

How lovely if you show Daniel parts of your homeland, and let him see what your early life was like. Maybe you would be able to edit out the parts that would be uninteresting for a child.

Your brief descriptions yesterday made me realise that you have a rich background yourself, yet maybe you are too close to it to realise... yet.

Thank you for the very positive remarks. I'm so happy to have you back.

I am still ploughing through my story writing, so please excuse short responses.

Ian


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kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

I will let you live, Ian, write your story - I hope I have enough time today to start writing "my wonderful brilliant article" - I cannot believe how long it takes me.

Mckbirdbks mentioned that you wrote some trilogy with a punch line at the end - do you know what trilogy he refers to?


mckbirdbks 5 years ago

kallini2010: It was The Well in Pollone, which seems to have a fourth episode. My mistake.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Svetlana, and Mck, I was just going to tell you that there were only three episodes and that "Trilogy" suited it well, and that I hadn't written a fourth.

However, there are five (5). It's a poor parent who does not recognise his child! No wonder I was drummed out of parenting classes. Good thing I checked.

I just noticed, in checking that my "profile score" has gone down from 92 to 89. Maybe I should publish my iconoclastic story and watch it go down to 37 as they boot me out the door.

Here is the first of the 5ology (Ha ha), but do your shredding, young lady, and tidy your room, or you're grounded.

http://hubpages.com/holidays/The_Well_in_Pollone_C...


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Mck, Thanks for promoting my scribbling.


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kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Ian, you made me laugh. Especially, with young lady.

I think it should be pentology (from pentagon) - and five points can make it a STAR.

But your Profile Score - that is hilarious! It does fluctuate and I have no idea what the criteria.

The same was with my "perfect" article - my latest articles are all more or less equally formatted, yet "Am I Beautiful?" hit the nerve. Most people/women are insecure.

And, Ian, you and I should found a club "People that occasionally get kicked out of .... (help me with the word, please. "decent institutions?"). It happened to me a few times. The last time I was invited to some seminar about "wellness" I was sane enough to anticipate that I would not be able to contain my "contempt for ignorance". I learn.

Don't worry about my tidying up - it is work in progress - I have my methodology - it will take time, but then it would be PERRRRRRRRRR-FECT.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

We learn something every day. The word is pentalogy. Wikipedia says it so it must be true.


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kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

yes, you are right

pentagon - pentalogy

In my favourite book "Moscow 2042", they had "Creative Pentagon of Writers".

There was paperless literature, where writers never saw their writings - no screens, only keyboards, but the cable were not attached to anything - so writers just pummeled their keyboards and had absolute freedom to say whatever they wanted.

Literature on paper was trickier - every book was written by a number of people and there was only one subject.

And one of my favourite aspects "there was translation from Russian to Russian" - from normal language to ideological one.

Anyway, the book is hilarious.


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Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Svetlana and Ian. I'm just relishing "ya'll's" marvelous dialog! It needs no comments, just quiet contemplation and appreciation - which it is getting! Hugs to you both.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I just heard the most awful crash and ran to the front of the house. The box sash window onto the street had a gaping hole in I,t and lying on the tasteful blue carpet, none other than a brick, wrapped in a piece of expensive velum note paper.

Someone had written on it, in a careful, cursive script:

"Write anything like that, again, you scourge of the Western World, and there will be more than a brick through you front living room window.

Yours faithfully,

The Calvinist Jihad

This, I thought, rather incongruous, as I would have thought that “The Calvinist Retribution Squad” would have been more appropriate.

It’s all to do with literary standards, I suppose.


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mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

"The Calvinist Jihad", Twilight that is hysterical.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Hysteria sits nicely with me.


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kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

It is the paper that tolerates everything that is written on it (or electronic devices), but not people.

Windows, I suppose, have no tolerance against flying bricks no matter how carefully wrapped.

Nobody can throw a brick through my window - I live on the 20th floor, so I can continue "writing like that".


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

A very tall Calvinist Jihadi could.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Hi Ian,

Just checking on my dear friend..if I haven't seen you in a couple days, I have to see if you are okay! Hope you are doing well..Sending a big hug,

Sunnie


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Hi, Sunnie,

Big Hug received and returned (Not unwanted) just duplicated.

I am trying to balance the writing of two stories right now and suddenly panicked last night because I thought I had something happening at a particular time in one of them. Both stories depend on dates, and you know what I am like for making sure the details are correct.

Then, after the panic, I realised I was thinking of the wrong story... Did give me a fright, though.

Silly old bugger!

I have to catch up with the Train to Nowhere... I haven't read ANY hubs for days.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Good Morning,

I understand..I haven't read as much as I should..I have had this nervous energy so have been writing more just to keep my mind at ease. It really helps..My parents decided to go into an assisted living which is a beautiful place..wish it was Twilight Lawns..lol but anyway..packing, moving, just the whole emotional aspect of it all..it is a good thing for them though..anyway..rambling here..but can't wait to read you new stories..always look for you..miss you when I don't see you..have a great day! Get some rest I know how you are. You start eating out of your car and staying up until three in the morning scribbling..lol

Sunnie


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Hi, Sunnie. I have been to my spiritual home today@ IKEA.

There was a goats' milk cheese and capsicum in super-light pastry with chipped something or other... yellow and orange... might have been carrots and some other root vegetable and chips and as much parmigiana as one wanted.

And a less than interesting carrot and coriander soup, but the goats' milk cheese and red pepper wrap was delicious. I'm eating like a lesbian and loving it.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

lol...I love goat cheese...still working on getting some goats..I don't see it anytime soon..lol...Oh my you must have been in heaven today being at IKEA...for hours I bet..


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Sunnie, my old friend.

A couple of hours at IKEA. I actually went there with a purpose in mind, and one of the things I wanted weren't (wasn't) there. Plastic boxes for the freezer for all the Paki food that my chum cooks for me and makes sure I'm fed while he's at university.

I wrote 800 words on one of my stories today... Yay!!!

Still only 4947 words... the rest are all plans and i don't want to count them.

The other story has about 17,000 but has bogged down again.

They're far too long for HP.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Wow you have been busy..I can't wait to read them..Paki food I bet is so good..lucky you..

Have a good night..hugs,

Sunnie


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Lady Wordsmith 5 years ago from Lancaster, UK

Aagh, I'm so frustrated because I haven't got time to read all of these fascinating comments properly. I was getting into the discussion you were having with Nellieanna - I hope she writes that hub about people being people; I want to read that when it's done, if it gets done.

'I still am convinced after a lifetime of observation, that women are the intelligent and worthwhile sex. And we men are here just for ballast.' Do you really think this? This is not my experience - though, very obviously, we have different experience of the world, you and I :) I have some very precious friends, and some of them are women, but very often the most interesting, enlightening and entertaining conversations I have are with my male friends. Is it because I'm a tomboy, d'you think? But really, people are just people, and I don't really think about which of my friends are male and which are female, until someone talks about the differences between the two sexes.

But to chapter 3. Ah, chapter 3. A beautiful end to a beautiful day, and a beautiful story. I can see why this particular day stayed with you so well. And I like this chapter particularly, and it did make my eyes leak just a little bit :) This sounds like a whole chapter of a book. It flows just as if it had been dictated by a child - which of course, it was - and it focuses solely on the things that a child notices, the sights, sounds, eye-level important things that grown-ups often miss or can't be bothered to pay attention to anymore (although, by the sounds of it, your parents didn't forget how to see the world fully). I don't have any memories this clear yet of my childhood, not clear enough to write about, but little memories do come back to me from time to time; things that happen with my boys trigger images of similar things that happened when I was their age. I hope they'll start to become clearer - I believe it can happen.

Well, this story was a real treat, and I'm glad I managed to catch it in time!

N'night, Ian :)

Linda.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you, Linda. I think I may have said so already, but the more I write about this period, the more fine details come to the fore. There are so many things and words that I remember even more clearly now and my memory of events and smells and tastes has always been acute, anyway.

But ask me about events in a time frame, and I go to pieces. I have very poor concepts of time and date.

This may make you smile; all of you who have followed me to Poona and back:

I was talking to a very good friend of mine, a guy from Pakistan, in the car yesterday.

I was saying that our Khansama didn’t go to the bazaar to buy vegetables, because the Vegetable Wallah used to come to the bungalow with the vegetables and lay them out just in front of the steps to the bungalow and then sit on his haunches with them in front of him. Then Khansama would come out and my mother also, and they would sit facing him, Khansama on his haunches and my mother on a chair.

Khansama would decide which were the best vegetables and my mother and he would then discuss what Khansama would do with them and what meals would be prepared from them. Then there would be a bit of haggling over the prices. My mother never wanted to beat the Vegetable Wallah down, but Khansama would say that he was too expensive. It was all part of an elaborate game, I think.

When I told my friend this little anecdote, he said I couldn’t say “Vegetable Wallah”, because I was using an Urdu or a Hindi word, (Wallah) but with English word (Vegetable).

He said I should have said, “Subzi Wallah” and use the correct Urdu/Hindi word. I can't remember having heard the word before, or perhaps I have forgotten the word, and checked with him how to write it with the phonetic spelling and so forth.

I checked a couple of times, and then he turned to me and said, “I can see another Hub, using the term “Subzi Wallah”.

So can I.


Becky 5 years ago

Hi, checking to see if you are well. Still busy trying to get Katy's school books lined up and re-arranging my office.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you for coming and saying Hello, Becky. Nobody had been here for days and I was wondering whether everyone has fallen over the edge of the earth, or not

Mind you, I have been writing and writing a rather silly little story (Well I like it, or why else would I write it?) but whether it ever sees the light of day/HubPages, is yet to be discovered.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Morning Ian,

Just saying hello and seeing how you are doing..you know if I don'tsee you for a couple days ..I have to check on you..miss you..and wish you well..

Sunnie


mckbirdbks 5 years ago

Morning Twilight. You have written thousands of words over the last two weeks, yet no new Hubs. hmmm Hope you are rested and writing, writing, writing.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Hello, Sunnie. my friend. Thanks for dropping by. The coffee cups are clean. The creamer and coffee are ready to be "Esspressoed" or "instanted", but there have been too few visitors recently. But as you and Mike and Becky have all arrived at once, I'm as happy as a bag of Pakis.

How are the Peeps?


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Hi, Mike. Yes, I have been writing, but it has been so heavy going. I think I am reaching the home stretch, but as the story is 10,446 words at the last count, I think it would be a little too large for HP. I could break it into chapters, but it doesn't have the drive of 'The Magical Victrola' so I wonder if it would be wise. I know that you would give it a try, because you have been very supportive, but I don't expect much response from the Oiks in HP.


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mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Good morning Ian - I try and keep my submissions to between 1000-1500 words and often feel that they are too long and will not hold the readers attention. I read a 8,000 word submission by another writer and will admit it was a tough read, and I'm a reader.

Now that you have it written or mostly written, you have nothing to lose from posting it. What is a bruised ego anyway? They always heal, right?


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Well I would love to sit for awhile and visit...instant is great...my family have asked about my friend from England as that is all I talked about for a long while..I told them you are well... :) The Peeps are doing great...getting big...no eggs just yet...the brown ones got out one day and decided they wanted back in and panicked running the fence line..I finally was able to corral them back in...They are the wonderers the black ones stay close...They follow me everywhere...is so funny.

Have a nice day,

Sunnie


Becky 5 years ago

I am glad you are doing well. I hear thaqt you are writing a long read. Finished mckbirdbks "Braids" yesterday. It is really good. I am always up for a long read. Been pretty busy getting Katy's books lined up. She is set to go with a "For Dummies" math and pre-algebra book, her worst subject. They explain it well. She was mad at her 4th grade teacher for making long division so hard when it isn't really. These just explain things well. I will be back to see when you publish something.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

My ego has never been known to heal, Mike. I am such a sensitive person. If anyone were to say my writing or anything else about me was boring, I think I would go to pieces.

I agree about you submissions being smaller and more manageable. They are a nice length, and I am such a slow reader that anyone who puts a massive amount on a hub, frightens me. I could put it into chapters, but it is amazing how many people who will start something and give up after two or three chapters.

I think I will just write it for writing's sake and finish it, and leave it at that.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Sunnie, I can remember, when we lived in Perth, we had "chooks" (to rhyme with "books") which is the Australian slang for chickens. To see them running backwards and forwards o get back into the "Chooks' Concentration Camp" as I called it (Yeah, I know, politically incorrect, but that was another era) was so funny.

It's like prisoners trying to get back into gaol (jail in US speak) when some one has gone to the trouble of baking a file in a cake and sending it to them and them sawing through the bars and then escaping... and then wanting to get back inside.

Our “Chooks” were White Leghorns… unlike Raj’s Black Orpingtons… or my Dorking Fowl!


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Hi, Becky. Thanks for coming back to me. I have to admit that I have read NOTHING on HP apart from Nellieanna's hub. And I like mckbirdbks' writing, it is real quality. I have been so busy, scribbling my little inconsequential story about... err... nothing, really.

I just think the title if the book: 'Maths For Dummies" is such a mistake. Children (and adults, like me, for example) don't respond well to the "For Dummies" label.

You know, by what I have already said, that I think everyone should do well in Mathematics, but it is frequently the teachers who hold them back, because if ignorance, or a lack of love for the subject.

I'm talking about the basics. Multiplication, Addition, Subtraction and Division.

Some of the silly buggers don't even realise the even those four go in pairs...

Multiplication & Addition,

Subtraction & Division.

Tell your daughter I fully sympathise with her about her maths teacher, There are many algorithms that they could have explored to discover what long division... or ANY division is all about.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Good Morning Ian..I have decided to count to twenty and then you will have to post..something..... anything...I am afraid I have memorized all your stories and I am dreaming of being with you when you were a child..I can not read them once again...Okay here goes...Ready...set...go....

One... two.... three.... four.... five... six,,,, seven.... eight... nine.... ten.... eleven.... tweleve twelve and half...thirteen,,,, thirteen.... thirteen,,,, fourteen.... fifteen..... sixteen..... seventeen...uh..well..hum...Eight....teeeeeeeeeeeennnn

Nin....e.....te.....ennnnn...Twenty...And there it is!!!! I shall return soon...Missing you...

Sunnie


Becky 5 years ago

I agree with your dislike of the title but they are really good. Like I told her, 'you are not a Dummy, but your math is appalling and I can't get through to you. Let's try it'. It is working and now we have gotten the English books and the next level of Math. They are so well explained. Very good writers.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Oh wait let me clairify my statement about dreaming of being with you as a child..haha..I mean...to live in that wonderful enviroment with so much culture..hahaha okay now I feel better...


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I really loved that comment, Sunnie. I am still smiling about it.

That is so funny. Did you say, "Coming, ready or not"? Or is that an English and Australian expression when a child counts?

We must peak soon, i would really love that. I am up to 11,220 words in my story. Hmm! Interesting number.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Hi, Becky. I'm so glad for her. Perhaps she will soon see mathematics as a fun thing to explore, rather than just a subject to be studied, a chore.

I used to be so sad when a new class would come to me and say, "Maths... Eeuch"

But later on when they said, "Maths... Yay" it was so rewarding.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

I think I said "Ready set go" .lol

ANYWAY......it got you to comment so we know you are fine...That is alot of sribbling there..:)


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mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Hello TL. The weekend is coming. If I don't have something to read, then I may be forced to write something. I don't mean to threaten or anything. Just saying!

There is an American game called (i think) Red Rover, coming right over. But I am not sure we are all talking about the same thing.

I've never seen Sunnie so angry, counting to twenty like that - I suggest you listen.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Hi Guys. I am approaching the home straight... (home stretch?) and as I approach the finishing line I can see two figures jumping up and down in the Royal Box.

Is it the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge?

No, I don't think so.

Is it the Duke and Duchess if Cornwall?

No, definitely not.

Is it the Queen and Phil the Greek.

Nah!

It's Mike and Sunnie, and they appear to be somewhat excited about something.

And the something?

11,734 words.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Sunnie, now we've done it! We could sublet some of those words or start a word savings account, maybe collect some interest.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Oh no, in the last scenario Sunnie is in the 'Phil the Greek" slot. I'm not going to even think about where that leaves me.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

...I thought I was the Queen..but if Ian put you in that slot well..maybe we can switch..unless you do not want to and insist on being the Queen..I guess I can be the Greek dude....lol..What exactly does a Greek dude do?

..Hummm a word bank with interest...I am so in...


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

OK you be Queen. I be Phil the Greek. Now we decide if it is a mystery or comedy, since we both dislike drama. The setting could be Monte Carlo....I see TL with a patch over his right eye, carrying a mahogany cane with a silver dragon head handle. Perhaps playing baccarat.


Becky 5 years ago

You two are pathetic. If you need something to read, try reading Indie Novelist. Her writing is really interesting and I think she could be really good with some help.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Thank you Becky. I am now following Indie Novelist. Any other recommendations? Any chance you are going to allow your humble writers a chance to read any of your stories? In the comments sections it is apparent that you have many. Start with flogging chickens.........


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

FLOGGING CHICKENS???? Did I miss something??

Becky please tell me this is not so...

Monte Carlo sounds wonderful..humm since I am the Queen..I think I will need a King..I wonder if A.A. is busy? It must be a comedy..I feel a story coming on Mck just up your alley...The plot?? Ian..are you listening?


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mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Sunnie, in the comments of Hyphenbirds very funny 'Once Upon A Childhood, II-Drunk As A Skunk'


Becky 5 years ago

Now he's telling stories on me.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Becky, you fit in so well here. Just my way of trying to make you feel at home.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

I see you guys are busy. Ian, why are you complaining? You can fill a book with your comments - I bet it will run over 11,999 words...

A bruised ego? "Too much ego will kill your talent". (I am quoting, I am not that clever). I have to remember it myself. But when you get over it - it feels

SOOOOOOOOOOO

AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Kallini2010 - so who are you quoting? The 'so awesome' comment is filled with such joy. That Tango dancing must be working wonders.


Becky 5 years ago

I wouldn't come back if I didn't feel that I belonged.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Mike, it is complicated. I have a little booklet called "Believe" - quotes about self-confidence. I was looking through it and I realized that all of them can be reduced to one. It gets boring at some point - not inspiring at all.

"Too much ego" is like a theme as well - I did not pay much attention to it until I became aware of certain vulnerabilities - but I HAVE to live with them.

"My ego is bruised", but that is precisely the point - get over it, ego is "a false master" - something like that.

And SOOOOOOO ... "things" are so charming in comments - it feels like so much exaggeration - it runs down like, like, like ...

After I kept those buttons pressed and looked at the results - that was the moment when I started laughing. I don't know if I outperformed anyone on HP, but it feels like a good length for expressing excitement.

And tango? No, tango is tomorrow. If I am lucky, I might be able to finish one hub, if not - then on the week-end. After then I can smoke some weed.

Good night,


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

This is a general reply to all of you, in alphabetical order, in case I offend:

Becky

Mike,

Sunny,

Svetlana.

or in reverse alphabetical order in case some of you were always at the end of the biscuit line at school and missed out on the chocolate chip cookies.

Svetlana

Sunny,

Mike,

Becky.

First of all, let me address the subject of “Phil the Greek”. This refers to that much loved and respected (Yeah! Right) member of the British Royal Family, Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, husband of H.M. the Queen, (also known as Brenda in some circles).

Mike, I like the idea of Monte Carlo (drove through there once on the way back from Northern Italy) and thought it was so lovely, clean, well tended, but the idea of me “with a patch over his right eye, carrying a mahogany cane with a silver dragon head handle. Perhaps playing baccarat,” is not how I see myself. I don’t gamble (Only with my good name – what’s left of it, Mike, and I would like to be one of those deplorable old gentlemen being push around in a bath chair, making lewd remarks at any attractive young person who passes (Male or Female, I’m easy. Not too fussy.), and stretching out a trembling old hand from under a plaid knee covering blanket to grope at any young bottom that within reach

They’re not pathetic, Becky, they’re a great percentage of my support group, as are you. I don’t know what I would do without the support of all (!) you guys.

I’m listening, Sunnie, and if Mike is going up the storyline road, I will enjoy reading it. I only mentioned the Queen, my friend, but megalomania seems to have set in. Stick to Texas. It’s bigger than the UK. You can be Queen or Texas on a yearly basis, sharing the Crown with Nellie Anna. And the emblem of this new Kingdom, can be the Chicken Rampant on one side and an Armadillo on the other,

Either Mike or Augustine cam be your consorts, and do a good job of it, I should imagine. Becky can be the Dowager Duchess in charges of Education, and Svetlana can be the political adviser. She will also be in charge of the Numeracy of the Country and the only one responsible for names. Every new child will have to go to her department before they can be issued with a name and Svetlana will be the one to decide.

I must look at Indie Novelist. I hope I don’t like what I read, or I will have to read her … and I need all the time in the world to scribble my own rubbish.

I agree with you Mike; Becky does fit in so well.

Mike, I know she isn’t listening, but I will whisper this anyway… Svetlana is possibly the most intellectual; person on Hub Pages. She quotes from so many sources; she knows what she is talking about; she has depth and insight which astounds me… and anybody else who reads her work. I really think she would make an amazingly successful Print Journalist for the Quality Press. (Psss. Don’t tell her I said so)

Svetlana, I think my ego is my guiding force. I am arrogant, but very, very vulnerable; I take negative criticism badly, and positive criticism from people I respect in a field, causes me to blush like a schoolboy. I am an amalgam of so many differing and usually disparate constituent parts, but on the surface I show a persona that many people perceive as stupid… or at least dim.


Becky 5 years ago

Indie Novelist has a book that she is putting on her site, which she wrote at 14. It is a fascinating read as long as you don't get too OCD about details such as historical and facts. Great misadventure. Suggestions to improve her writing are accepted. Eagerly, which means a lot. I am not a writer, so don't feel qualified to offer much, in that respect.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I'm a bit worried, as one of the things that makes or breaks a book, for me, is historical accuracy. I spend more time researching or delving into personal memories than actually writing.

But I think the reader is the more important, Becky, in judging a book. I don't think writing can be taught... it's either there, or it isn't.

Just a personal opinion.

Ian


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

I just have one question...May I have two kings? SInce I will stay in Texas to help rule my beautiful desert kingdom with chicks by my side..I think I shall need two..Nellieanna will have to be the Queen Bee so I will be like her Queen helper with benefits..

Svetlana is wonderful and smart as they come..She will give it to us straight for sure and lay down the law...

Ian..you old bugger..I am afraid in this story I will have the task of pushing you around in your wheelchair and slapping your hand endlessly as we go about..being the Queens helper..I know I will get stuck with such tasks.There are however restraints..so just something to ponder..

Becky would be great in the educational dept..She will keep us on task and report to Svetliana with any problems that come up..Those two will keep us all in line I am afraid..

Now back to the two Kings..One represents the Chicken and the other the Armadillo..they can hash that one out..I know this is my own thinking..Texas is a big state and will need two kings..There was two Bushes and I think these guys will do such a better job..(hope Nellie isn't a Bush fan) I may have landed myself in jail...so I will close for now..I can't wait to hear from the others...


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

The Kingdom of Texas, with two kings and a Queen. Sounds like a whole new set of rules developing. Where Bushes are banned and books are respected and available.

A land where the characters can pick and choose their height and width. The wit and charm are dished out in generous proportions and the food is tasty but has half the calories. A land so large that egos are free to roam and then return safely home. A land so large that our vulnerabilities are not attacked at every opportunity.

With Becky’s encyclopedic knowledge in a very short time all those annoying problems would have reasonable answers. The problems disappear rapidly when the solution to one problem cures two issues.

Perhaps TL’s bath chair could be replaced with a rickshaw, and rather than the Queens’ assistant pushing, TL hires a suitable motive force with a pleasing view, who is always two steps ahead.

We may have to dump ‘Phil the Greek’ since Sunnie has her eye on two different Kings and a different Queen for that matter, and substitute ‘Jimmy the Greek’. A king known as Brenda just isn’t going to fly here in the Kingdom of Texas.

OK scratch the eye patch, send the mahogany cane back to wardrobe, and scrub the baccarat. I lose the woman in the red sequence dress in the scene but. "C'est la vie. She was only irresistible attracted to rogues with an eye patch and silver handled canes.

With Becky in charge of education, people will actually know useful things when they are through. That instantly changes the landscape of the Kingdom. The Kingdom banned politicians, so Svetlana has a bit more free time to assign names and figure out all those numbers. Especially number 42 that has captivated her imagination.

A.A. can takeover the role of comic because the court jester is always the most clever. And I am a long way from Monte Carlo.

I'm just not sure I can work under these condition...:)


Becky 5 years ago

I know I can't. I believe you have nominated the only one of us that doesn't have a degree to be in charge of education. What is the matter with you people? I am glad you believe I have an encyclopedic knowledge but I sure feel ignorant when present with all of you.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Okay..Mck...I know it seems like a lot..and if you truly want to be King and A.A as the Jester I am okay with that..I do agree with the decesion to hire a sexy nurse for Ian..that should make my job so much easier..It is not that I would not like to be Queen but Nellie is class all the way..and she would be so much better at it than I...I do better on the sidelines..sort of like a substitute Queen..I can just step in when she needs a break..Thats all I got..Ian must have had a late night..I see he has not got up yet..IAN WAKE UP!!!!I guess we will have to stop writing on his comment section soon and wrap this up..so I will say good bye for now..unless he summons us upon waking..:)


Becky 5 years ago

Sunnie, He was commenting just 2 hours ago. He is already awake.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

I’d trade a gallon of education for a quart of common sense any day of the week. No degree here.


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mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

We will have to find a suitable King. As the narrator I will be just so busy. I'll run a want ad on Craigslist.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Ladies & gentlemen:

Queens & Kings (regardless of the mode of transportation):

"I demand ATTENTION!" (I am quoting Mike)

I am listening, but I am also trying to publish a second hub in a month. I do hope I will be able to overcome certain difficulties I have been having lately.

I do quote many sources, but I do pay attention to what all of you say.

Please do not appoint me to such high posts such Commanders in Chief, Political Advisers as I am clearly ill-suited...

I would gladly be "Che Guevara" - in a peaceful setting with a battalion of brave soldiers just in case.

"At ease!"

I can take a role of unisex dancer - I started leading in Rumba - and the trouble was not in leading those insufferable women that do not understand what following actually means (I can understand them better because I am usually a follower), but men who cannot lead.

I was given one chance to dance with a man and he did not do his job properly so I ended teaching him:

1. You don't step to the side.

2. You don't brush your feet through the base.

3. You don't shift weight therefore you don't know what foot you will be stepping with.

4. You leave me on a wrong foot.

5. You signal the turn too late.

I was telling him "as a man to a man" - by the end of it he was so glad to get back to his wife - you see the advantages of "rotation"!!!

It was really funny. The other lady, when I said "I'll be a man" said "I am not sure, you are wearing a dress."

But what difference does it make? It is not what I wear...

"It's not how it looks, it is how it feels".

Ok, you guys keep writing "the play", I am going back to my misadventures.

Good luck,

General Che


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mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Right you are General Che, write.

He thought, ‘This is going to be tougher than anticiapated at first glance, General Che with a battalion of loyal soldiers on a unisex dance floor...and the music, what will we do for the all important music?’


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

This is a strange world:

Generals write, soldiers dance, sing and ... it is a circus - what I love - gymnasts - I wish I could see "Cirque de Soleil"...

Some day...

Did you know that the Russian male dances (the high jumps and other elements that require strength and skill) originate from ancient Russian Martial Arts? It is less of a dance and more of a training for combat?

I think men always dance better, they have more physical strength (it is more apparent in figure skating, women can never get to the same level of performance. I only watch men and pairs, not women).

I thought "Rumba is Spanish" stood for "path/way"; but it is a slightly different word

"rumbo" - Perderá su rumbo en tu mirada - losing my way in your looks - when I look at you I forget where I was going...

Maybe it was the destination.

========================================================

"Looking into your eyes my why's are answered.

I become inspired in your words and my home ....

What tender love, my devotion,

you came to be my religion,

My sweet emotion,

I regret nothing.

=========================================================

It was worth it,

what was necessary to be with you, my love.

You are a blessing.

The hours and the life by your side, girl (Che),

Are there to be lived but by your way.

Congratulations,

Because it was worth it, it was worth it...

=========================================================

What a good ending to a hub (a month of torture)!

Did you know that "Che" means "eh" in Argentina. Argentina... Silver... Second, never the first...

Argentine Tango...

As always, Mike, you are an inspiration.

Salut, c'est encore moi, // Salut, this is me again

Salut, comment tu vas? // Salut, how are you?

And then it goes, he was traveling and came back... to tell the story.

I may not make any sense - but I am in my "thinking" mode.

Adios, amigas y amigos, camarades, los soldados del soviet

"soviet" is not a bad word - it means "advice" and "council".

Diving back again in deep troubled waters.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Sunnie, I'm sure Nellie isn't a Bushite... but if she is, I will still love her and forgive her.

Mike, I love you comment, but sentimental fool that I am, the second paragraph brought tears to my eye. That is beautiful writing, my friend. I repeat it here, because it is worth reading again:

"A land where the characters can pick and choose their height and width. The wit and charm are dished out in generous proportions and the food is tasty but has half the calories. A land so large that egos are free to roam and then return safely home. A land so large that our vulnerabilities are not attacked at every opportunity."

Wow! And thank you.

Becky, when I was teaching there were only two teachers in that school who didn’t have a degree. I was one of them. I wonder about degrees myself. They just prove that you have the capacity to study… and as I don’t (and never have) had the capacity to study, I am afraid I am one of the Oiks.

Thanks for observing that I am up and about, Mike. In fact, Sunnie,, if you had looked closely, I was on Streatham Common this afternoon, scribbling… by hand… on paper… with a ballpoint pen which wouldn’t realise it WAS a pen… and I managed about 600 words, because Mike said if I didn’t he would come and teak my boiled eggs and crisps…and Red Bull.

Svetlana, I doubt if you would look in a Che Guevara beard. You are too attractive. I don’t think you could grow one anyway – with all the will in the world.

My goodness, you don’t take prisoners do you? I suggest that you are now to be in charge of everything Latin American. You now have the portfolio for Terpsichore. Wear you badge with pride, my friend… and woe betide any man who doesn’t lead when he should or steps left when he should be resting on the back foot.

Eek!

Yes, and I did know that “Che?” Means “What?”


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Canadians say "eh", like "ah"? "Che" is Argentinian version of "eh"? It means nothing. Suits me.

Good heavens, what prisoners? Everyone creates his own prison.

I would rather take the role of the liberator

my first words in Spanish were

"patria or muerte!" (fatherland or death)

"no pasaran!" (they won't go through!, same as "We cannot retreat, Moscow is behind us, when the crucial fight was won with Germans).

luchadora por la libertad (she-fighter for the freedom)

I don't want dead bodies. I want people...

I will tell you my dream in a couple of hubs - I think you will like it.

I am off to my tango - I will be commanding (?) the Parade (awkward translation, but it is one of the most famous Russian quotes - humourous).

Cheerio,


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Have a great time... at Tango... you deserve it.

But take no prisoners.


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Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Sunnie, Becky, Svetlana and Mike (Ladies first, Mike),and Augustine... and Nellie Anna, if you are available to give support and advice, as you have in the past.

I have finished my story and wondered what you thought would be a reasonable chapter length. I personally feel daunted when I see a hub stretching into infinity. But would people (I said, "People", Sunnie, not "Peeps") read more than a certain amount of chapters?

I haven't read anything on HP for weeks, and have to get back into the swing. I know that there must be several hubs which I have not read, yours included (I would read yours, Becky, if you were a Hubber).

You suggested between 1,000 and 1,5000 words, Mike.

Remembering that there are 12,874 words, here are some of the options.

13 chapter would have 990 words

12 chapter would have 1,072 words

11 chapter would have 1,170 words

10 chapter would have 1,287 words

9 chapter would have 1,430 words

8 chapter would have 1,609 words

7 chapter would have 1,839 words

6 chapter would have 2,145 words

5 chapter would have 2,574 words

4 chapter would have 3,218 words


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Good Morning Ian..This is just my thoughts..I think once the reader is hooked in the beginning then the chapters may take on more but saying that evenly distributed is good too..Becky would be a good one to advise on this since she is the ultimate reader..When I look at a story..if it has caught me by the first chapter I do not mind reading the longer chapters..I have always been alittle perplexed by this too..as I wrote a couple stories since our adventure but they were pretty short hubs..as you know I am learning to be more wordy..but you have that gift already and have a way of keeping your audience entertained..So my thought is to start out slow, draw them in, and then add more as you go..but someone may have a better idea..

Can't wait to read this Ian..Congrats for sure,.

Hugs

Sunnie


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Good morning everyone. The story should dictate the length of the chapters. Can't be done with a calculator. I am happy that you decided to proceed. It is so important to tell your stories. And just for comparison sake, this comment section is 13,000 words.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Hello, my friend. Thanks for getting back to me. I am going to try to cut down on the pictures. as you did in your 'Train to Nowhere'. If the writing is good, then who needs a lot of pictures. With my 'Poona' one, I just indulged myself, and it was easy to write the three chapters, because ot was in three definite sections. This story rambles along with no definite chapters.

I don't think the average hubber reads much. There are a hell of a lot who scan, and although that may be OK for informative text, it is hopeless for story-lines with style. I personally read for style.

Beck might be the one, but all contributions gratefully received.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

13,000 words. Eek! I wouldn't read all that... I would try, but I would be swamped under a pile of words. I love reading comments in small sections, but I simply do not have the courage to embark on a whole section. Lady Wordsmith, one of my favourite hubbers, will read all the comments as well as the hub... Brave, and very bright lady!

By the way, the two of you, it is really cold here today. My little hands are frozen. Hmm! I could write a story using that line... or something like it.

Or an Opera.

Can either of you sing?


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

And this isn't one of my cathartic unburdening of the soul stories. It concerns a certain establishment called

Twilight Lawns plc, in Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey.

A retirement Home for Persons of Class.

You may have read about Twilight Lawns in the story, 'Coping With The Snow'


fashion 5 years ago

wonderful hub.I really got a lot information here.

Thanks for sharing.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

I DISAGREE!!!!!!!!!!

I was singing. I mean "I disagree" line - this is the first one I usually shoot out.

It is not the length of the story - it is formatting. Therefore I suggest pictures - they anchor and break down text visually - we are turned away from too many words - you confirmed it yourself.

Just the sheer number 13,000 is enough a sign to stop anyone from reading.

Mike, how can you count the words on the page?

Children... remember children have a very good taste - they don't like - huge slabs of texts - adults don't either.

Invest the time in formatting and spacing out - most people forget that presentation weighs as much as content. When I say spacing - it is not too much effort to press "space bar" twice - it make all the difference.

Your imagination is held in suspense and awe with visual effects, too.

(It is my opinion, cue:

here you can scream "I DISAGREE!")

It is your work, so you will be doing with it whatever you want.

When I read and I am interrupted (happens often) for me to scroll back - it is a pain in the ... (use your imagination) and I always wish there was a picture serving at least as a bookmark.

Mr. Happy never uses pictures (terrible formatting) and his hub on philosophy was so long - I read it - but you can try it yourself - how long can you manage? You lose your whereabouts in the story and you go back and forth like a lost child in the forest.

The length, for me - 3,000 is acceptable. Fewer longer chapters are even better than 13 smaller chapters (13!!!) - I can make a decision and commit time to one chapter. But don't publish them day after day - it creates "Niagara Falls" effect.

Anyway, Ian, all the decisions are yours, I have mine to deal with. I have embraced my fundamental principles - Art is "selective recreation of reality according to MY metaphysical value-judgments." I would not publish anything without pictures - I am too visual for that and I don't like poor formatting either. I feel like an editor - people! what are you doing?!

Even though, the "fundamental question of audience is settled", it is myself, I believe it inconsiderate if I don't do my personal best presenting my work in its best light for the readers (imaginary or not). "Reading" is a tough job, so you have to respect your readers to give enough time to make your work as pleasant as you can.

I am sorry, Ian, I don't have time to formulate "my rules for formatting" at the moment.

But you get the idea. I should really formulate it better - but that is the nature of comments - rush, rush, rush - that is the result - tumbling over my head - that is why the hubs should be pieces of ART. You have the time to do your best.

And I am sure, your story and your style deserve a good frame. It is the light that can make it sparkle or sit in the dirty and dark attic.

Good luck,

Back to singing "Prisionero de tu amor" - speaking of prisoners -

"Impatience is the worst of sins..."

Besides, for those who say "awesome" - it can always be "awesomeeeeeeeeer!" and they don't really care. These words lost their weight long time ago.

It's like - I got "A+". So, are you happy? Do you want another "A"? Take it, it is yours. Another "Plus"? Take all the pluses "++++++++++++" you want. Happy?

Are YOU happy with the result? Have you done your best? Every child knows how much effort went into studying and how much he/she did and whether there is room for improvement. "A's" are demotivators - they are "STOP" signs - "good enough". The goal is not to get an "A". Creativity is not about "A's" or "Pluses" or "Minuses" - you create "Art", you write "Yourself".

Do your best. You can. You are your own (best/worst) judge.

Others don't like it? Tough luck. Frankly, I wish people had the courage to be honest - we could get so mush better. It's hard to improve when ... Frankly "soooo awesoooome" feels like disrespect. "Give me a break, I know it is not awesome".

Creating dependencies is your own creation, as well. But what does it create? Pain?

Ian, I am an expert in creating dependencies. Learn from my pain. It is not worth it. You know that all of us will read your story. How much truth will we share?

You know the answer as well. Truth is silence. Nobody is ever telling all the truth. "Lies when unchallenged..." Half-truths... I don't want to say that this club of your supporters is a club of liars, I am drawing your attention to what you KNOW. We cannot say everything that is on our minds. The only thing that you know is what is on YOUR mind.

I don't know whether I managed to convince you that you should rely on your OWN barometer, compass and speedometer - creativity-measuring devices and "quality control", I really tried.

I want YOU to be happy.

I have managed to drown myself (and probably everybody else) in words.

I should go back to my own suffering - I can't push out my own first hub.

Good luck again. And take your time, don't stress over it. You should enjoy a process. (Somebody, take this woman away from the Court Room).


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

By the way, the "fashion" user is a spam - it takes you to his web-site. So you can block him as a spammer.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

939 words. Written quickly. Words flowing, thoughts compounding, expressions rendered. Good morning Svetlana. You have just commented at a length of one of my typical Hubs. How long did it take? Not very long I'll venture.

I AGREE, song loud, the neighbors dogs have joined in as they always do when I raise my voice.

Your Hubs become works of art. I AGREE. You meld picture and song and word, then polish.

Where did I get the impression that you were near completion of a Hub? I've checked a couple of times.

Oh, you asked a question, which allows me permission to comment. "Cut and Paste", then ask the software to count the words.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Thank you, Mike.

I agree - I produce way too much. If I have anything, I have FLOW.

However, my comment reflects my recent work - the upcoming hubs are about FLOW, ART, value-judgments, choices, formatting as well...

So,

if you can make dogs happy with your singing - all the better,

the best singer is the happiest, even if it is a dog. Singing is good for you.

Rule: in doing anything, doing it badly comes before doing it well.

The ability to sing out loud outweighs the pains of being terrible at the beginning.

My music teacher assured me that EVERYBODY can be taught to sing decently. Not to be an opera singer, but sing decently. I wish he did that. In the absence of the proper training - I sing indecently and make myself happy. As a ... (pick an animal...) in ...(pick circumstances or activity).

Making a commitment: publish a hub before Monday.

Enjoy the week-end,


Becky 5 years ago

I have found that a story which is not spaced out with proper paragraphs will turn me away from it. It is too much text without a break. If you break it up into paragraphs and double space between or put a picture, it will be easier to read and focus on. Small titles between also work. I am not sure how to explain it but I will try.

When you change subjects put a subject caption in larger or bold type. This gives an eye break, or a stopping point for those with limited attention span. (Potty break, coffee) Similar to a commercial in that respect.

Generally, if the story is interesting and gets my attention in the first chapter, I will continue. Curiosity factor. I think this can be done, if properly handled.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you for the information, Svetlana. I thought that fashion's comment didn't fit the hub.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Svetlana, I have spent several hours in my car on the Common with a printout of the story on A4 12 point. There are 26 pages and believe it or not there is at least one typographical error or sequential error or adjusstment I want to make on each page.... and I have only managed to check 17 pages yet.

I find it virtually impossible to edit on the screen.. I have to read hard copy and then make notes and then bring it home to edit on the computer.

I haven't even started to look for pictures yet.

Aweeeeeeeeesommmmmmmmmmme.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thanks, Becky. I had thought that for this story, which is very light, and could use the little chapter or even incident titles.

Sometimes it would't work. I also find great blocks of text very daunting. Conversation helps. clarity and spacing between paragraphs seem to work well on HP, but are certainly wrong for the printed word.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Ian, the best way is look at work of others - figure out what works for you as a reader and what doesn't.

Imitate.

You are not only a writer, but a reader as well. If anything drives you up the wall when you read, don't do it.

You know it perfectly well without me: you copy what you like, you leave out what you dislike. It has to work for you.

If you could see how much "crap" I produced and still no closer to publishing. I have imprisoned myself. Behind the fence of high standards, I see nothing. But it is just me, the less it is happening, the more determined I become.

Too analytical. It will happen.


Becky 5 years ago

HubPages don't read like a book, so we have to change things a little to make it easier to read. Glad to help any time I can.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Svetlana, this is so true. I sometimes start reading something, and if i find something that I dislike, like convoluted sentences or strings of negatived or inaccuracies of historical fact (when they should be relevant) or spelling and or grammatical errors.... and so the list goes on, I find myself turning to the cover of the book (Don't ask me why), if I am reading a book, and pausing and musing, and then if I try a bit more and it doesn't improve, I simply stop reading.

But wait. This doesn't happen with books very much, if at all, but it does happen with deplorable regularity on HP.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you, Becky, for your encouragement and support. Not being a Hubber, you don't get brownie points for that, so it's worth a lot.

Thank you.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Svetlana, way on back up in this comments discussion, I noticed you asked, "How can you count the words on a page?" - I'm not sure, first of all, whether you meant actual numbers of words or if you meant more, 'how does it matter how many - as opposed to content?" - But I'm not sure whether you got an answer if you were wondering about actual numbers on a hub. So, just in case you wanted that information, here is how:

On your own published hubs, you can check the number of words in each one by clicking "Stats" at the top of the page, and looking under the "Hub Metrics" tab. It's kind of handy if you need to check, though that isn't shown till a hub is published. When in serious doubt, I've published, then unpublished a hub if I needed to check and decide about length. When writing prose, I tend to go on and on. I laugh and say that's how I can distinguish between my poetry and prose! hehe


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 4 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Ha ha! I wonder how i missed this helpful comment from you, Nellieanna.

I select, copy and paste into a word document, and that checks the spelling and word count and makes sure I am writing in English UK or Englsih US.

It's also easy to make sure that I have no silly spelling and/or typographical errors, but as the Lovely Nellieanna willingly does my double check for me, I'm on a double winner.


Surabhi Kaura profile image

Surabhi Kaura 4 months ago from Toronto, Canada

Dearest Ian,

How I wish that I had met you! We have a lot in common here. You know, it brought chuckles after reading the sentence, “I didn’t mind because I liked it when Krishna did that, and he had a nice smell.” Ha ha. Such a sweet simplicity… charisma… and most of all, your innocence.

My heart is so full of love today. I am thankful to you for sharing this third part of the series. By the way, high five! Jalebis are my favourite. Though I am a 23-year old, but it still brings a wide smile on my face when I hear my parents calling my name with delight, “Surabhi! Come along. Look what we have got for you!” What a lovely moment! In fact, I had Jalebis last night. You missed it, Ian. Would you like to read my poem on my Mother? Here is the link: http://hubpages.com/literature/Poem-Mother-O-My-De...

You will catch a glimpse of my chapter (smile). Sending you love and lots of love.

Surabhi


Storytellersrus profile image

Storytellersrus 4 months ago from Stepping past clutter

Hello, Twi. I was pleased to see your name under my Hubpages notifications, regarding a comment you made on the first of this series. Sometimes it pays to "Follow" a hub. Pleasant messages pop into email inboxes, reminding me of days long past and friends who once made me laugh.

This hub brings to mind friends Jaspal, Shalini and Feline Prophet who reside in India. I have received Diwali greetings from them year after year, which is very fun.

I thought of you a few months back, as I listened to my first Alexander McCall Smith novel called Many Uses For Olive Oil or something along those lines. The humor was so similar to yours, I found myself reflecting on your work and remembering how much I had enjoyed following you. This was pre- granddaughter, when time belonged to me and me alone.

I send you my heartiest hello and hope all is well in your Brexit land. We are experiencing wildfires here as well. Your old pal, Story


junko profile image

junko 4 months ago

Welcome back Story


Storytellersrus profile image

Storytellersrus 4 months ago from Stepping past clutter

Junko ! Not sure I am back, but I am appreciating hearing from old friends!!!

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