Ground Hog Life
Warnig Possibly Inappropriate
Today, okay it was yesterday, but still, isn't that close enough to Christmas to bother just about anybody? Well it was for me.
Being away from the shit long enough and believe it or not, you start to really not miss it.
Its December 24th. Christmas Eve 2010 but who cares right?!? I'm recalling this cruising I did, you know just riding down the street, and just before we pull in to get some gas at the world renowned Quick Trip. Okay we'll just say my favorite gas station, hands down and everybody elses just as soon as they experience the luxery of this wonderfull midwestern masterpiece of a gas station.
To my suprise just before my eyes was... one of my old dope connections? Weird, I thought to myself? The down and out looking chap almost made me feel as if he would be unapproachable due to his demeaner, or lack there of I should say.
The parallel of me seeing him this day and actually noticing him, as well as his deep routed desire for his obvious position to be overlooked was insurmountable. He is exactly in the same mind state I was in when he noticed me once upon a bad moment of my own past.
I read very well, and he was a open book to me, with easy to read sentences that formed my quick conclusion of how shitty his life has gotten since our last encounter.
This is recovery.
This is the final nail into the coffin of my past struggle with meth. I'm not letting my guard down but something tells me I know I'm done.
Running across the street to where his silver Ford Focus is reluctantly parked, with his hazards flashing just as quick as his head is bobbing from window to window, and I notice the discerning spirit within me was right on the money. This kid's a mess!
I get to his car and knock on his passenger window to roll it down. He doesn't even recognize me? I have to remind him, Hey Lee, remember... We did some time together in Waseca?
He remembered, but I could tell, He didn't really want to. The conversation with him was like awkward four play with a girl you really wasn't in to. It was uncomfortable daunting and thankfully short.
Lee, sitting across from a great gas station, out of gas? He acted scared to get out of his car when I offered to help push his car to the station. He just laughed and gave me an under confidant look. After the lack of sense I encountered I made the decision to grab a small gas can from the station to get him over there.
I filled the gas can which was about three dollars then emptied it in his vehicle. He didn't even give me much of a thank you. It was more like a fuck you for helping me as he drove off in the opposite direction he said he was going?
Oh yeah, I asked him how his Uncle TK was before he motored off, he laughed nervously and said, " He's got a restraining order against me, can you believe that?!"
I just said, "Yeah, see you", and thought, I remember those days.
Every day the same, until death.
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