Guy Holding Aces

Guy Holding Aces, rickzimmerman 2010
Guy Holding Aces, rickzimmerman 2010

Poker face — n. 1. A blank expression that does not reveal anything about the cards being held. Usually said of a poker player, but also used outside the world of poker to refer to any non-revealing facial expression.

Poker face — n. 2. What this guy clearly isn’t wearing at the moment. Actually, this is no ordinary guy holding aces. No, this is ordinary Guy holding aces, Guy Ambrose to be exact.

It’s not for nothing that Guy Ambrose’s initials are GA (Get it? GA: Gambler’s Anonymous?). For Guy is anything but a stellar poker player — he didn’t win those chips you see in front of him; he actually bought in with about three times as many — a little over 18 minutes ago! And the loser’s luck is not much better with ponies or lotto or sports books.

So this poor Guy is about to get a lot poorer very quickly. He has effectively telegraphed the aces he’s holding to every other playa at the table, the dealer, the kid running smokes and cocktails to the game, me, you, and your Aunt Sadie back in Poughkeepsie.

Will somebody please call Mrs. Ambrose and tell her that her Guy will be home soon, and he’ll be in need of some bicarbonate (and she’ll be in need of a third job!).  

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