Her Premonition of Dread







The image of Little Red fogged out and was replaced by grinning reality. A shadow of a wolf on the wall was roiled about, as if fighting the darkness for existence. The old woman stood amidst it, her mind burning, waiting for death to call. She inhaled, and the shadow was inside her, searing her lungs like fire. The agony was intensifying, but she endured it, refusing to collapse or even scream. The visit from Little Red was still fresh on her mind.

Suddenly she realized why the shadow had paid her a visit. It was a distraction; she was not to think of her granddaughter.

The old woman screamed. The shadow and its fury vanished, and there was only the darkness. She was shuddering with worry. She had a premonition about a wolf attacking her granddaughter, and her premonition of dread had a stinging feeling of reality.

Little Red! Little Red!

The vision she had of losing Little Red was such a foreign concept. She had banished the thought of it from her head, but it came rushing back like a tidal wave.

Then she heard a scream. She jumped. That scream was her granddaughter, and it came from the direction of the woods. Horribly alarmed, she rushed outside and ran as quickly as her legs would take her through the winding path that led into the woods. It was no surprise to her to see that the darkness was still patrolling the skies.

The only thing on her mind was her granddaughter’s safety, and she could feel a considerable heat climb her neck and rise into her cheeks. Suddenly she stopped running as if to listen for her granddaughter’s breathing. She watched the shadowy faces of her past loved ones as they were urging her to move on. For a moment, she allowed the images to sink in, and then she nodded obediently.

Her premonition of dread had full strength. It weakened her stability and was trying to take control. It kept playing over and over in her head like an echo. In her premonition of dread she saw Little Red’s body down by the river next to the old weeping willow. Her little body was on the dark lower side of the river where the gloom was stronger. Little Red was half in the river, her body smudged with dirt and blood. The old woman quickly ran as fast as her frail strength would take her. Little Red had her face down, and blood welled from two large canine marks on her back and neck. She was unconscious, but her heart was still beating. Slowly, but still beating.

The old woman snapped out of her daydream and turned at the sound of footfalls. Standing, almost frozen in place, she looked across the darkness and the trees that separated her from Little Red.

A Moment later, she found herself face to face with her dear departed husband. His eyes narrowed as he pointed toward a small unused path leading to the river. He did not speak but his actions were clear. She paused; gathering herself for what she knew would not be a pleasant journey. It was very good to see her husband, but she had no more time to waste. She had to save Little Red.

There it was the beginning of her premonition of dread, and as clear as the moon in the sky. Little Red shivering beneath the monstrosity that drifted steadily toward her without actually moving. The haunting of the wolf was like a river flowing by. She blinked and blinked again only to gather the reality of what was happening.

“Satan!” She screamed.

The wolf slowly turned to face her.

“You need a life, take mine!”

The prospect of taking an older woman’s life that seen so much of God’s earth, fancied him. Her age was not perfect for soul claiming, but her history was. She was a good hearted woman that commanded so much respect. Although she did violate God and Satan’s Covenant of old that no mortal would interfere with the operations of good and evil. It was Little Red, and there was no way in Hell that she was going to let the monstrosity steal her soul. She’d die first.

There was a search party and dogs combing the area. The wolf smiled as he turned toward Little Red. The old woman understood that the only way her granddaughter was to be found by the search party was simply to let go.

There was a thin fog that enveloped her briefly. Finally it started; her soul was separated from her body. She closed her eyes as the rush of pain filled her heart; she knew she was never going see her past loved ones again. Perhaps that was the reason they came to help her save Little Red.

Little Red opened her eyes and screamed.

“Over this way,” shouted the search party leader.

The old woman knew that Little Red was going to be rescued. Her sacrifice assured that, and she would do it over again for any member of her family. She was pure love, and she proved it.

A strange sensation washed over her as she floated toward the sky. She looked down and saw her past loved ones standing guard over Little Red until the search party arrived. Then she saw a crumbled body near the weeping willow and realized that her mortal flesh had not left the world, only her spirit.














#

© 2013 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 69 comments

LaThing profile image

LaThing 3 years ago from From a World Within, USA

I am at 'awe', Frank! Incredible story line, and your fascinating way of telling a story totally grasp the attention of the reader..... I always forget that I am reading a story. You make it look so real! Wonderful work.....

Now, Little Red Riding Hood will never be the same!!

Voting up and everything :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much Lathing :)


Marlin 55 profile image

Marlin 55 3 years ago from USA

Nice twist Frank for making this story your own. I like the wolf, it reminded me of a Hell Hound. Good job building the tension and holding the pace until the end!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks fortaking the time out and reading my Little Red :) Marlin55 bless you


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 3 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Interesting twist to this story.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

Stunningly enthralling write here, dearest Frank! It really pulls one in and keeps one reading on in anticipation of what is to come next! I think you have nailed the character of most women, that they will sacrifice their own life to save that of their loved one, especially a child or grandchild. Satan does indeed come to kill, steal and destroy no doubt about that fact. If only she had told the enemy to leave in the name of the Lord, he would have no choice but to do so, as His name is powerful, and even the demons shake in fear when they hear it!

God bless, Faith Reaper


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Becky...:) and yeah maybe I should have used that for my ending always Faithful.. Faith bless you too child :)


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 3 years ago from California

I love your stories Frank!!


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

I meant to add, it is almost as if this is the original long lost piece to the story "Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf". Seems like this should have been the original and then someone wrote the children's version of your version. :)

Had to come back to share (forgot), so I thought I would add that here.

God bless, Faith Reaper


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

You gripped my attention from beginning to end. I also enjoyed the other Little Red Riding Hood story you wrote a while back. nicely done frank


BlossomSB profile image

BlossomSB 3 years ago from Victoria, Australia

Wow! That was a different take on the Little Red Riding Hood story. Quite gripping, too.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much Audrey.. and Faith just bless you, although I never heard anyone tell the red story from the grandmother's point of view..LOL again thanks Faith, bloosoms always good to see you and Lovedoctor926 what a good memory.. I did write a poem on Little Red.. over two years ago I think..:) bless you all


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

Oh how I loved that twist;you ahve set your standard pretty high as a story teller Frank but not once have you disappointed.

Have a great day.

Eddy.


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 3 years ago from Houston, Texas

Wow Frank! This was so powerfully written and made for an edge of the seat reading experience. The images that you conjure up in one's mind are so much better than anything that could be presented in film form. That is why reading books will always be better than watching films. You are a master when it comes to fiction writing! Up, interesting and will share.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you Eddy for stopping by .. and Peggy W thank you for that wonderful comment bless you


Seeker7 profile image

Seeker7 3 years ago from Fife, Scotland

Well Frank, this is an incredible take on the dark fairy tale and I loved it! The story creates incredible and powerful associations both emotionally and imagery!

I love the hero/heroine so realistic, earthy and gutsy - not like the women/men macho no brainers we've come to expect in stories and movies. But the story is more than that, it's for me a real dark and dangerous journey in the sub-conscious. We all have there a 'little red' a 'grandmother' and a 'beast' continually bargaining and fighting. This story goes straight to heart of this conflict and reminds me very much of Edgar Allan Poe - Frank, my friend, you are the 21st century Poe!

This was a dramatic, scary, deep and brilliant!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Seeker7 thank you so much wonderful comment :) Im pleased


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up. This was one fantastic tale about Red Riding Hood. Your a marvelous story teller. Enjoyed. I agree with Gwen tales like this remind one of the tales of Poe.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Gypsy for stopping by


tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

Simply blooming brilliant!...A clever, gripping roller coaster.

Well done.

Have a great weekend.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you very much tobusiness


Valleypoet 3 years ago

A great imaginative take on Little Red Riding Hood....well told...and quite a twist...great writing Frank:-))


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

Well Frank I've been a good alter boy lately at my Hub but your latest masterwork (my favorite writer here at the Hub) is not going to help my new image as the resident angel at the Hub, lol, no siree bob, lol.

I love this title - it's to die for . I think titles are very important - don't you? I love your dark side too - until I met you I only saw the light side, lol, now I want to want on the wild side with you (sorry Lou Reed)

You are a writer's writer and can pack an entire novel into a short story and you always make me dream cinema - always. And usually in black and white too.

Sending you my warmest wishes from the birthday boy - I am 29 again this Sunday

lake erie time 4:15pm


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Thank you so much Valley.. Ill stop by to see if you have anything new :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you 29 year old Epi from lake eerie.. and happy birthday to you this coming Sunday.. bless you and your cats :)


MrsBrownsParlour profile image

MrsBrownsParlour 3 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

Dramatic and creative take on this story! ~Lurana


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you once again MrsBrownsParlour :)


wayne barrett profile image

wayne barrett 3 years ago from Clearwater Florida

Wow Frank! Kicking it up a couple of notches...to say the least. This was a brilliant example of creative liberty. Way to step out of the box on this one my friend!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much wayne barrett :) bless you


Sueswan 3 years ago

Hi Frank,

Now we know what really happened. ;-) Awesome !!

Voted up and awesome

Have a good day. :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks for the visit Sueswan :)


Ariel 3 years ago

Great tale!!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Thank you for reading my premonition of dread :)


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 3 years ago from Central Florida

Wow Frank, so hauntingly beautiful. I remember a time that I had wished that these spiritual bonds existed but I learned that they don't. Not for me anyway and still I foolishly hang on to the hope that if it could exist for me it would with my daughter...


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much dear sweet Moms-secret :)


LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 3 years ago from Somewhere in the West

LOL franky , what a twist on little red riding hood the funny thing is I know the story but kinda forgot it lol. I know little red was going by grandma to drop things in a basket lol and the wolf was marking her etc. It's a shame I am only 25 years and have already forgotten the fairy tale.

Thanks for sharing your version


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you 25 year old Lady..:) bless you


B. A. Williams profile image

B. A. Williams 3 years ago from USA

I started to read this yesterday and got sidetracked and came back this morning to finish it. I was pleasantly surprised by the outcome of the grandmother, and its very nice to read a story with a justified ending.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks BA for visiting :)


Storytellersrus profile image

Storytellersrus 3 years ago from Stepping past clutter

Frank, I think this is the very best hub I have ever read of yours. It is passionate and insightful and grabbed my attention. In short, I loved it. Thank you!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much Story :)


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

Loved your story Frank, only you could put a good twist on this story, lol. Well maybe LadyFiddler too! Up and sharing.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

Hi Frank, don't know how I only became aware of this story now, but thoroughly enjoyed your new twist on Red Riding Hood. A wonderful tale as only you can do. Voted up.


Barbara Kay profile image

Barbara Kay 3 years ago from USA

Excellent story with a strange ending.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much Jackie, you too Jodah, and Barbara, thanks for the visit :)


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 3 years ago from California

Really an excellent read Frank. Sending this around again!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks again Audrey :)


LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 2 years ago from Somewhere in the West

WAW! Frank are you trying to steal someone's head with this twist of little red riding hood? Hmmmm i did not know here granny had pep in her step that she could run through the woods looking for 'Red" lol.

Thanks for sharing this twisty twirly piece.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

no thank you Lady :)


rebeccamealey profile image

rebeccamealey 2 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

Cleverly written, and like how you used the name Little Red, making it a twist on the fairy tale.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you rebeccamealy :)


tsmog profile image

tsmog 22 months ago from Escondido, CA

Loved it Frank. A door of least for me . . . my mind, my heart, and my soul. Thank you for sharing this story.

tim


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 21 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you tsmog.. i think lol


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 21 months ago from sunny Florida

Giving oneself for another...what greater love can their be.

Just as Jesus gave His life to set each of us free....beautifully written.

Shared and voted up++++

Know that Angels are on the way to you this morning ps


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 21 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much PS for reading my dread :)


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 19 months ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

Ah what a tale indeed..............This is the type of story one does not dare to read before falling asleep........Who knows what is lurking about............


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 19 months ago from Shelton Author

hey thanks gmwilliams good seeing you again :)


anemixflarie profile image

anemixflarie 15 months ago

As always Frank! great writing! :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 15 months ago from Shelton Author

thanks anemixflarie


Missy Smith profile image

Missy Smith 13 months ago from Florida

I have to say, I really like your way of telling the classic fairy-tales more than the originals. However, that could just be because your version is more for adults. It's like you take the childhood stories we all enjoyed as children, but you make them into adult versions so we can still enjoy them. Bravo!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 13 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much Missy Smith :)


cat on a soapbox profile image

cat on a soapbox 10 months ago from Los Angeles

Good morning, Frank! This is a so well developed from start to finish- one of your best and certainly my favorite:) Your descriptive opening paragraph is brilliant!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 10 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much Cat,,:) Happy New Year


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 10 months ago from Close to Heaven

Wow. This is great writing Frank. A creative take on Little Red Riding Hood. :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 10 months ago from Shelton Author

thanks Carolinemd21


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 7 months ago from london

Beautiful, Frank! Artistry in death. Simply beautiful!!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 7 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you manatita..:) Frank


johnmariow profile image

johnmariow 3 months ago from Connecticut

Excellent! This story is a page turner. It grips the reader immediately and does not let go. Great story telling!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 2 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much John

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