Her Words...

Their relationship was blindly visible, but dead,

Her words stung him like wasps,

And they rattled around in his head,

Buzzing like strange insects,

His heart pounds,

And her words kept making

Slapping of the face sounds,

His mouth would twitch like a coil,

And his eyes would boil,

Her words would not stop,

They kept spinning in his head

Like a child’s top,

Even after they’ve been spoken,

His heart remains broken,

Her words were filled with disgrace,

Clearing his head

And tightening the skin across his face,

Breathing the air in deeply,

He felt as if he’d regain

Some semblance of his senses,

But her words still maintained,

And they were guarded up like fences,

She was a liar,

And his eyes flashed with equal fire,

Her words were said,

And that was it,

Their relationship was dead.

© 2013 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 50 comments

Theater girl profile image

Theater girl 3 years ago from New Jersey

I like how you perfectly express difficult emotions and moments. Great job!


wayne barrett profile image

wayne barrett 3 years ago from Clearwater Florida

Two great pieces of advice in this life: Think twice before you speak, and...If you don't have anything good to say, don"t say anything at all!

Great poetic example of the product of harsh words


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

I second wayne's comment, as my mother used to say that last part about "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all!"

Whoa, yes, that relationship is deader than dead, especially being that there was lying going on, and that will kill it every time!

Excellent and very descriptive poem here.

Voted up +++ and sharing

God bless, Faith Reaper


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 3 years ago from San Francisco

This was a good story. I had a singer like her. As I learned about her I also learned to avoid. So we got along.


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 3 years ago from North Carolina

Your really becoming a master with the lyrical poetry, Frank. This one flowed like liquid gold to it's Rhett- Scarlett like ending in that movie. Bet he goes back to Charleston.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Thank you so much Theater Girl and wayne Barrett for visiting my words :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Faith always good to see you thanks for popping on by


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much Mhatter and Alastar for stopping by and checking out my words...:)


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

Wow Frank! This was really good. wonderful imagery! "Her words stung him like wasps." I voted up.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thnaks so much lovedoctor926 for the up vote!!! :)


kkingcrabb profile image

kkingcrabb 3 years ago from Georgetown, S.C.

Cool poem dude, I write a bit myself come on over and check out some of my stuff and see what you think. Voted up


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 3 years ago from Houston, Texas

Words can be powerful when used as weapons. You portrayed this vividly and well. Voted up.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks again kkingcrabb will check out your stuff and thank you Peggy w good to see you again :)


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 3 years ago from West Virginia

Voted up, awesome, and interesting Frank. I agree with Peggy, very powerful words stated in this poem. Always well worth the read Mr. Frank. Gripping, emotional, and straight forward. Thumbs up.


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 3 years ago from California

Frank--a little different write for you--loved this totally!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Lyric and Audrey for visiting my words :)


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up and awesome. So true that lies and relationships don't mix.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks for visiting Gypsy


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

Another wonderful gem from you my talented friend. Great work as always.

Have a wonderful day Frank.

Eddy.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Eddy thanks :) God bless you


MrsBrownsParlour profile image

MrsBrownsParlour 3 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

I echo the comments about powerful imagery and great lyrical poetry---very strong writing!! ~Lurana


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you MrsBrownsParlour..:) bless you


LaThing profile image

LaThing 3 years ago from From a World Within, USA

Frank, what an excellent detailed expression of emotion for a single event! You described everything that goes around a person's heart and mind with such detail AND in a poetic form, WOW!

It's always a pleasure to read your work, Frank! Thanks for sharing.....


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Lathing thank you so much for the kind words..bless you


VictoriaBash profile image

VictoriaBash 3 years ago from Los Angeles

I just loved this so much! I enjoy reading this poetry. Just amazing, beautiful, and wicked all in one. Thank you for sharing, always a pleasure for me(:


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you VictoriaBash..:)


Valleypoet 3 years ago

I love the way you have created an imagery of words invading the mind and causing untold havoc...a great piece, thank you Frank :-))


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

hey thank you Valley...:)


Stolas profile image

Stolas 3 years ago from Midwest

chilling, I very much enjoyed the symbolism. It put me in that place as many of us have been, and as my eyes drifted off the bottom it was like walking out of a shadow. thank you.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks stolas again :)


Lisawilliamsj profile image

Lisawilliamsj 3 years ago

This was amazing, as usual! I have been there before. Word's can be like weapons, sometimes!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you lisa for popping by :)


Sweet Epistles profile image

Sweet Epistles 3 years ago from From the Heart of God

I love every words in it...very Powerful words.

Thank you for sharing this.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much Sweet Epistles for stopping by :)


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

I love the imagery in this poem! It's dramatic and creates a very effective description.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you Alicia


Canscorpion profile image

Canscorpion 3 years ago from Steel Town

Oh My....your words were so strong, the way you painted the whole scenario, portrayed his feelings, described her words.... very profound and heartfelt. This is one of my favourite poems, i must say Frank.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you Canscorpion :)


B. A. Williams profile image

B. A. Williams 3 years ago from USA

I like how you do the play on words in your poetry, it was poignant and had a justified ending. Well done!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you BA Williams


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 3 years ago from Lagos

Yeah I know that feeling...

Even the lines, i once chewed,..

Awesome write!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Uban for visiting Her Words :)


Anna Haven profile image

Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

Nothing wounds like words.

Great use of similies and evoked imagery.

Anna


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Anna


kkingcrabb profile image

kkingcrabb 3 years ago from Georgetown, S.C.

Words are very, very powerful and can cut deeper than any knife,

And leave scars that will haunt you for the rest of your life.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you kingcrabb :)


Ranzi profile image

Ranzi 3 years ago from All Over

Wow you have a way with words. Excellent and so well written.

btw there are so many of your hubs I want to read, but I do have a fear of flying and have a fear of ghosts.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Its ok Ranzi I do enjoy your hubs anyways..LOL bless you :)


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

Really engaging one here!

Smiles, FR


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks again F R.. you r too good to me :)

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