Holding my head up

This is just how I feel sometimes

You wouldn’t believe me if I told you all the things I’ve been through

The heartbreaks and betrayal couldn’t all possibly be true

The let downs and set-backs, disappointments that keep coming everyday

Well not everyday, I have some good days I guess it only seems that way

But even the good days when I think everything is so wonderful and awesome to behold

Later I find it was all just a fantasy promising an end to the trials but really just another lie I was told

But I hold my head up cause I know I’ve got to be strong!

I can’t fall again! I was down last time for way too long!

That time that I slipped, that time I was found wanting will never happen again

I lost focus on the promise I forgot about the Son and just gave in to my sin

It took me years to recover from that mistake I thought I would never find my way back

Had to lose everything and go to prison three times before I even thought about getting back on track

But now I’m different, now I want to change, I wanna get back my life by doing things right

So I stopped giving in, I stopped getting high, I work a program and I try to follow the light

So everything is supposed to get better now I shouldn’t have to worry about any more heart break

I’m a good man again, at least I try to be but I still slam into walls how much more of this can I take?

Whatever happens I have to be a man and face whatever comes my way

Accept the things I can’t change and just get through one more day

I wanna say I’ll always stand strong but I know not to make myself a liar

Been holding my head up for so long not gonna lie homie my neck is getting tired

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Comments 9 comments

mkrandhawa profile image

mkrandhawa 5 years ago from India

Great hub.

you are a Good natured person.keep going.Best of luck

Jack West profile image

Jack West 5 years ago Author

Thank you mkrandhawa. I will keep going. I was just dealing with something but writing a depressing poem and putting my feelings in rhyme for some reason always snaps me out of it. I'm better now. :-)

me 5 years ago

it's always nice to know I'm

not the only one that has gone

through the same thing!

Jack West profile image

Jack West 5 years ago Author

Silly girl why do you always sign your comments to my hubs "me?" Like I dont know who that is. LOL You know I love you though stay silly.

Silly Me 5 years ago

Cuz I am me

afro's mistake profile image

afro's mistake 5 years ago from dorothys kansas

Voted up! lol

Jack West profile image

Jack West 5 years ago Author

Thank you Elijah :-)

Nicole 5 years ago

Keep on keepin on. Remember, we all have another relapse in us...but do we all have another recovery? Worst day in recovery is better than my best day of using. And when your neck gets tired...theres always a hand to help you hold it!!

Uncle Dwain 5 years ago

Could relate to all you wrote Jack, been there so many times myself and the last time needs to be my last. Don't know how many more times I got in me, getting to old for the game. I am very happy you are in a recovery program, a few years back I remember you didn't like that I was going to AA but time has changed and you are a smart man that can see the light in a lot of things now. As far as getting tired holding your head up, that's what is cool about the program of recovery. There always someone around that can help hold it up for you if you just ask. Love you Jack.

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