A long time ago
Hé I'm Dutch. And who can tell you more about cows than the Dutch. Oke, maybe there are some people from other nations who can tell you something about the cow too, but the holy cow?
Did you know that the first holy cow ever seen was in the Netherlands? It all started back in the 16th century. In the 16th century, there were just cows. Imported from Switzerland and Australia. Ore stolen, who cares.
A Dutch farmer got his hold on some cows. He and his seven sons started breeding them. But son number 7 had a problem. At least that‘s what his father told him. Not a drinking problem, like most farmers had, no; this son had a different problem. He fell in love with one of the cows. Probably caused by smoking the marihuana he was growing illegally, but who cares. He fell in love. People in the village started to talk about the strange behavior of son number 7. And they made it difficult for him to hide his feelings. So he ran away and took his lovely cow with him.
He went to the west. And at the beach, he and mss Cow had long walks. Normally spoken, that wouldn't be a problem. Who cares if someone wants to walk at the beach with his cow by his side to see the sunset. But there was a problem. That problem was the English. They found it necessary to start a war at sea with the Dutch. You know the drill, big boats with sails, big cannons and big cannonballs. And back in 1653, these were really big cannonballs.
While son number seven, Mr. Cowlover was walking with Mss Cow on the beach, he saw that two big boats were shooting at one another. It was a great scene. Something that Gore Verbinski could use in one of his Pirates movies, but he wasn't born yet and this wasn't the Caribbean so...
Back to the English at sea. They weren't the best cannonball shooters (they didn't lose that war for any other reason, duh) .Some stupid blind Englishman fired his cannon the wrong way. The soldiers on the Dutch boat started laughing. Instead of shooting at the Dutch boat in front of him, he shot towards the beach were Mss Cow was a nice target.
She got hit. Right into one or two of her stomachs. She instantly fell down on the beach, letting go all of her milk, but she survived because of the gentle care by son number seven. The English were astonished by seeing the cow standing up on her four legs and leaving the beach, supported by her caring and loving farmer boy.
Since that time, everyone spoke of the holy cow. And now, every time something astonishing happens, you hear people say: "Holy Cow!"
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