Home Owner's Plight (I'm Not Handy)

Mike's Common Sense

I own a house. And like most houses, it occasionally needs routine maintenance. Well routine for most people. However, there is nothing routine about maintenance, when I am involved. Most people think that I am a pretty intelligent person (people who don't know me well anyway), but I just can't seem to get the knack of home repair. No matter how easy the job might appear, I end up making it look like I'm trying to tackle the "Manhattan Project".

So, for me, and all other inept people like me, I've written a song. It is sung to the tune of "I Want Candy" by the Strangeloves.


"I own a house, and things look bleak.

The paint is peeling, and the roof does leak.

Can't change a bulb, without falling off the ladder,

My wife she holds it, but that don't matter.


I'm not handy! I'm not handy!


Got a clogged sink, and the frig. don't work.

I should fix 'em, but I'm a jerk.

I don't know pliers from a wrench,

can't even find my work bench.


I'm not handy! I'm not handy!


Got a bad water heater, and a gutter that dangles,

There's nothing 'round here that I can't mangle.

Got a broken window and a ripped screen

if it gets any worse, I'm gonna scream


I'm not handy! I'm not handy!


No!


If, a wire gets a short,

I'll touch the wrong one get a jolt.

Got hospital bills by the pile,

I keep 9-1-1 on speed dial.


I'm not handy! I'm not handy!"

Comments 4 comments

adnohr 7 years ago

LMAO...actually sang it out loud while reading! What a kool way to keep us entertained while you are on vacation! Thank you muchly, Muley!


trish1048 profile image

trish1048 7 years ago

LOL LOL, loved it! You're so funny :)


muley84 profile image

muley84 7 years ago from Miami,FL Author

Hi adnohr! while on vacation I forgot you stopped by. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!


muley84 profile image

muley84 7 years ago from Miami,FL Author

Hi Trish! Of all the songs I've written (5) this is my favorite...and it pretty much is the truth (sad to say).

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working