Honey I'm Home

Many of my poems are lyrics to songs I have written, some still awaiting a tune.This is one of them.

Truck driving songs are a genre of their own, and this one smells of diesel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 


Lock up the lab

And lick my lap

Slap the sap silly

And cut the crap


Get rid of the kids, the pets and the chores

Pull all the shades and lock all the doors

You know when I get home that I've got the urge

So check oncoming traffic and signal to merge


Flip off your slippers and zap down your zippers

Take the curlers from out of your hair

Remove all that cold cream be quick or I might scream

There isn't a minute to spare


My head is near reelin' with feelings I'm feelin'

I've been on the road for a week

I've got a rocket right here in my pocket

And you are the heat that I seek



©  Copy right CPrice  2010.  All rights reserved.

Comments 60 comments

alternate poet profile image

alternate poet 6 years ago

Nice raunchy truck 'em poem :D


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Thanks A Poet,

I felt it time for some lighter fare.

CP


dianeaugust profile image

dianeaugust 6 years ago from Tennessee

Well, that says it just like it is--and it rhymes, too. Fun, funner, funnest. Love it!


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Diane.

Glad you liked it. I was seeking smiles rather than sighs.

CP


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa

Uhum, I guess this was ‘for men only’. So I’m fading back to my safe corner.....


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 6 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

So long as it is not a case of "Wham Bam! Thank you Mam.


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Au Contraire Mon Cher!

Like Penelope awaiting Odysseus, the joy of lovers united is a rapture meant to be shared.

Be cautious of the corner, it can get lonely there.

Smile!

CP


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

Well not speaking for the Rawlus however I got your message loud and clear and a big 10-4 on getting our Big Rigs parked and home to Mama. After six days or more on the road that air seat we sit on does mighty strange things to the lower body parts and it's bout time to get that rocket home 10-4....

Yup the heat that we seek and leave our rubber ducky's in the sleeping berth and deflate our inflatable Barbies:0)))) time for the real thingy:0))) You had me laughing out loud with this one Chris. Well done, cute poem..no go back to sleep, you were dreaming:0)0


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

CA,

Not unless the kids get home early!

After a week away, once is not enough.

I find it funny, the assumptions that the love and lust of two lovers deprived of one another would be felt by just one of them.

Perhaps I'll have to pen a poem on this scenario from the woman's point of view. Excuse me while I consult with my wife, and plumb the mysteries of her jumping into my arms and unbuttoning my shirt...

Uh, excuse me...I lost my train of thought...!

CP


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Ken,

I knew we'd be simpatico on this one!

The life of a trucker includes many deprivations and sacrifices. Coming home to the ones you love is the greatest reward.

And the ability to love and laugh are the greatest gifts.

Catch ya on the flip side.

CP


Robwrite profile image

Robwrite 6 years ago from Bay Ridge Brooklyn NY

None too subtle but fun.


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Rob!

I thought I was being quite delicate and demure...relying on innuendo and double entendre for risque results.

I so shun the bold and brazen!

CP


carolina muscle profile image

carolina muscle 6 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

Hahahaha.. this is great. I'm gonna commit this one to memory!!


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Hey Chris,

Work me up a catchy tune and we'll take this sucker on the road! Or at least across the street.

CP


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 6 years ago from Australia

There's ten thousand recipes on hubpages and room for one well written bloke's lament, so leave Chrissy boy alone, please.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

I believe you have what 95% of people wish they had. I won't covet but there is a splash of envy! This is so good! Sometimes you just need to "rush" a bit! Like that Saddleriding Dude- 10-4!


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

attemptedhumour,

Thanks man. Seems whenever I write something a little tongue-in-cheek some folks just think I'm sucking a gumball...don't get it.

I can't deny my oral fixation!

Thanks dropping by.

CP


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Mickey,

Sometimes I envy the young guy I was then and the passionate moments snatched from the long days of separation.

Yeah some things had to be rushed into, but like I always told my lady, "I'm quick on the draw...but slow on the trigger".

A big 10-4

CP


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

OHMYGOSH, Christopher - that is the cutest thing I've read in awhle! You are indeed a darling man.


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Miss Nellie,

I am so glad you took this in the manner I intended.

I seem to have a knack for skirting the boundreys of propriety and prompting the prim and pious to react with recriminations.

I was sure you would not be a member of that constipated congregation

I think you know I am a mischievous rascal who finds pleasure and amusement in the surprized smiles of my audience.

I so love that you consider this "cute". That is a response I shall treasure.

You, are a treasure.

CP


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

awgeewillikers. Thank you. It was my honest response to it as I was reading it. Nothing wrong with being a fully alive good specimen human being of whichever gender. The ones I'm concerned about are those who feel cut off from their natures or insecure so that only crudity will make up for the lack of self-assurance.

Anyway - this is a delightful thang and I just got another chuckle out of reading it!


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Nellieanna Darlin',

I am so happy you were tickled...twice.

That's better than a return engagement at Albert Hall, or more appropriately The Grand Ole Opry.

CP


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK

A bit X rated, what? :-)))


Stan Fletcher profile image

Stan Fletcher 6 years ago from Nashville, TN

Loved it man. Tell it like it is I always say.


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 6 years ago from Arizona

Good fun! I voted up, it's a fine change from all the heavy hubs I've read, a feller needs a laugh every now and again, even if it's a sin...Ha! enjoyed it, 50


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Dimitri~~Stan~~50:

Welcome Gents!

Just gotta kick back and do my torn T-shirt, Stanley Kowalski thing now and then..."STELLA"!

How's about gettin' me a brewski while yer up?

CP


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 6 years ago from South Africa

Brewski comin' up! You earned it with this one! Great work.

Love and peace

Tony


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Thanks Tony,

Be sure to get one for yourself too.

Cheers.

CP


Jeremey profile image

Jeremey 6 years ago from Arizona

Great poem. I aspire to write half as well! On to read some more.........


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Thanks Jeremey,

I read in your bio that you too are a truck driver. I suspect there are other things we share.

Please look around, browse and let me know what you think.

Thanks for pullin' over long enough to comment.

CP


Jamiehousehusband profile image

Jamiehousehusband 6 years ago from Derbyshire, UK

My wife says the same, albeit for the pocket rocket! (that's mine). By the time my lovely wife gets home, the kids have been fed, bathed and while she does the story (after a big welcome from all of us), I have my clean clothes on, the ambience set for dinner and relaxation and we first catch up on our respective days (we've texted all day though) and then ......Great poetry - love it!!


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Jamie.

I love the role reversals per you and your wife. I hope this will curtail further criticisms about the Neanderthal male point of view some readers have chosen to attribute to this poem. Of course nothing could be further from the facts!

Sounds like you have a good routine and a healthy relationship.

Glad you liked this.

CP


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 6 years ago

I liked this HUb...it's the first I've read of yours...But as a woman... I'd just like to say

make sure you're a good lover...with a slow hand.

I will enjoy following you...hope you will come in my direction and read some of my hubs... and find me worthy.


Doug Turner Jr. 6 years ago

Comedy injected into a song: nicely done. I laughed and enjoyed reading this.


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

b. Malin,

Like I said earlier, my philosophy has always been "Quick on the draw...slow on the trigger".

I also used to say "A quickie is a three day weekend".

When it comes to things I love, I rush to 'em not through 'em.

I am anxious to read your hubs, and will stop by your pages very soon.CP


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Doug,

Thanks for multi-tasking. I'm glad when these lyrics are recognized as a lighthearted ramble strung together just for the fun of it.

It was fun to write too.

CP


Granny's House profile image

Granny's House 6 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

My husband sings that to me every other week when he is on his way home. LMAO


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Granny,

Tell him "Atta boy" for me, and let me know if he makes it to Youtube. I wanna hear this.

Thanks for the chuckle.

CP


ralwus 6 years ago

LOL there's a message in there somewhere. Rocket? Heat seeking I suppose. hahaha


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Hey Charlie,

When I first published this I included a mention of you and Ken in the intro. I figured you truckin' boys would relate to this one. Glad you finally pulled over long enough to give it a read.

CP


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas

YOWZA!!! Nice poetry I would hope that my husband would be that enthusiastic about seeing me after being away....now how to get him out of the house for a week?? LOL just kidding, I enjoyed your poem. Cheers.


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Ladyjane, I find it hard to believe your husband would leave you alone for long.

Thanks for your comments.

CP


Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

Oow! LOL! What music to go with it? Rock and roll?


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

I'm thinking Country Rock would suit it best, but I'm open to suggestions.

CP


richtwf profile image

richtwf 6 years ago

This one gave me a little smile and a laugh so thanks for sharing that. Appreciate the humour fix for my health! Look forward to reading another one your little treats and good health to you!


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

rich, glad you were tickled.

Feel free to browse. I hope you find more to like.

CP


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

My favorite line is the last "You are the heat that I seek". Earthy fare and a driving force that everyone understands. It's real and I like it!


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 5 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Amy,

I really like that you like it.

Thanks for visiting and leaving a such an enthusiastic comment.

CP


Granny's House profile image

Granny's House 5 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

Hi Chris, I had to come back and read again. Still love it

TIna


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 5 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Tina,

Glad you came back and haven't changed your mind. You're welcome anytime, and bring your friends!

CP


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana

Ok, so you've got a great sense of humor as well!

I'm glad I stopped by. Nice rhyming there, too.


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 5 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

sueroy:

I feel like a late night infomercial..."but wait, there's more"!

Truth is, about the only sense I can lay claim to is of the humor variety. Glad you dropped by. :{)

CP


Genna East profile image

Genna East 5 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Well, this may be for "men only" but I thought it was honest, funny, and an enjoyable read!


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 5 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Genna-

It has always been lovely ladies like you who prompt lusty lyrics such as these.

Thank you!

CP


sligobay profile image

sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

Following you back Christopher. Great lyric. Now I understand why 18 wheelers are always clamoring by in the fast lane. This is a great lyric without needing to know the slang.


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 5 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Thanks sligobay. I thought I was already following you, probably because I have seen you comments on the work of other hubbers I follow.

I look forward to enjoying one another's hubs.

CP


imranhaider 5 years ago

nice poems collectin


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 5 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Thanks Imran. Welcome aboard!

CP


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 5 years ago from Portland, Oregon

great work... and delightfully naughty!


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 5 years ago from Vermont, USA Author

Sorry I haven't replied to your welcome comment until now, but I hadn't been alerted to its existence. I'm very glad you liked this. Truth is, I do sometimes delight in naughtiness...especially my own!

CP

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