Hotel Room...A vampire poem

 

The bloody twisted sheets

The shattered glass mirror

Bathed in the red flickering light of the street

The flimsy curtains try and hide the horror

 

High heels and torn stockings

Ripped clothes thrown from the bed

Her painted lips desperately gasping

Her eyes full of fear and dread

 

 

Trapped alone in darkness

Drunken laugher all around

She lay’s broken and helpless

Hardly able to make a sound

 

Spilt white wine

Drowning the hundred dollar bills

The chilling touch of death down her spine

 Onto the floor her lifeblood slowly spills



A bloody grin

A flash of soulless eyes

Cold fingers now warm against her icy skin

Watching each tortured breath as she slowly dies


The hum of traffic fills the air

The lights of the city beckoning

Closing the door behind him without care

He moves on his hunger never ending


© K.A.E Grove



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Comments 28 comments

vietnamvet68 profile image

vietnamvet68 5 years ago from New York State

yet the vampire strikes again. you painted a perfect picture.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 5 years ago from UK

Your lines:

=

The flimsy curtains try and hide the horror

Drowning the hundred dollar bills

Cold fingers now warm against her icy skin

=

show that you have tremendous talent. I envy you :-)

Marked it owesome!


LedToolZ profile image

LedToolZ 5 years ago from Memphis, TN

i love your writing!! it all just flows so beautifully. :)


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

very descriptive, it painted a scene. a bloody, horrific one, but a scene nonetheless. i love vampire stuff just as much as zombie stuff. :)


4elements profile image

4elements 5 years ago

very cool, loved it


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

Oh so cool, totally brilliant.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

Wow, I could see her painted lips. Loved it.


nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia Author

vietnamvet68,

Thank you so much, I was afraid it was a bit short so I am thrilled that you liked it.

De Greek,

*Blushing*

wow, thank you so much a compliment coming from a writer such as yourself means so very much... thank you


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

Oh man, I wasn't prepared for that. I was like turning the channel and falling into an in progress horror flick... but I could quite bring my self to turn the dial. Creepy good.


nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia Author

LedToolZ ,

I couldn't ask for a nicer comment, thank you so much, I am very glad that you liked it

Nikkij504gurl

I am so glad that you liked it, I'm trying to expand my use of description within my poetry. I find it hard to resist the vampire stuff, its a reoccurring theme in my writing :) glad you enjoyed


nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia Author

4elements ,

Glad you liked it thanks :)

acaetnna

thank you so much, I am thrilled that you liked it so much :)

always exploring

So glad to hear it, I wanted it to be a quick visual snapshot, so I am so glad that you were able to envision this. thanks :)


nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia Author

Randy Behavior,

Creepy good is a great compliment, thank you so much I am thrilled it drew you in :)


Midianite profile image

Midianite 5 years ago from Australia

nice poem - only recommendation I could make is to change 'white wine' to 'red wine' - it just seems more fitting.


DexisView profile image

DexisView 5 years ago from New England

Wow!...chilling


Johnny Love 5 years ago

Might be short, but it leaves the mind open for dreams and new paths in the night. Lovely in my eyes. Thank you.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

I had to come back to read this again. Your descriptions are so vivid. Hum of the traffic, lights of the city beckoning, then him leaving, This is soo good. It gave me a creepy feeling, but it was a thrilling creepy. Thank you. More please!!


nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia Author

Midianite

Thanks I am glad you liked it, I know red wine is the more fitting almost expected in a scene like this, but I personally cant stand the stuff, so I couldn't add it in... but if others agree that red would suit the verse better I will happily change it, thanks for the comment and the critique both are always welcome :)

DexisView,

thank you I am glad it make an impact


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

De Greek state it very well. You are a gifted writer and poet, you can live in the moment of your darkness and combine the imagery to master it well.

This is a bloody mess, in a great way. Blood and drugs, the vampires thirst for blood never ending. She is another victim of the night's banquet. Bravo/applaud, voted UP


nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia Author

Johnny Love

thank you so much, Coming from a dark poet such as yourself that means a lot to me...

always exploring

I am so so glad that you liked this enough for a revisit!

I will do my best to create more, if the muse within lets me :)

saddlerider1

between you and De Greek I am feeling very flattered, to have such great writers be so complimentary of my work leaves me a little speechless.

Thanks heaps for your comment and the vote up, I am so happy that you liked it!


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

Creepy cool. It's funny, for all of the fine sinister imagery, the line that jarred me the most was "spilt white wine". Sometimes, especially in a tense poem like this, it's surprising what sets off the trigger.


nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia Author

glad you like it, that stanza is my favorite in this short poem, which is odd, because when I started writing it I was so focused on the first few lines which had been in my head for days before putting pen to paper. I think its because it speaks of a relationship even short between the victim and vampire. for whatever reason I am glad that you liked it :)


MrDSpade2 5 years ago

A supernatural crime scene in a poetic sense, brilliant, nighthag.


nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia Author

Thank you, as a fan of yours I am thrilled that you liked it :)


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

..well hot damn - writing like this .... gets me all excited - and I don't know who is darker - me or you - maybe we should collaborate on something 'black' - lol lol - and when I have the immense pleasure of reading you - I really want to explore some really deep places in the back of my mind ........


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 5 years ago from India

You bring the scene to life so brilliantly!


nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia Author

epigramman,

I am thrilled that you liked this(I was hoping you would ) I have no idea which one of us is darker, I simply find it marvellous that we can inspire each other so much here on hubpages. but be careful where the mind takes you, dear sir sometimes it doesn't want to let you free

Shalini Kagal

Thank you I am so very glad that you liked it, thanks for stopping in :)


IamMaster profile image

IamMaster 5 years ago from USA

Such beautiful, dark imagery! I can see the horror in that hotel room, its brutality occurring unnoticed by the city outside the door. Very descriptive, captivating, and simply wonderful. I loved it!


nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia Author

wow... thanks so much for such a wonderful compliment... I am thrilled that you liked this so much :)

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