"How Ironic"

Its like this undeniable little piece of irony...
It just sits on the tongue,
in the back of my mind...
and I just don't understand it.
Are you lying to yourself?
Are you lying to her?
like you did to me.
When I see you say "Ditto"
instead of "I love you too."
You gave her a second chance,
and I guess she was better than me,
at least better for you.
When my second chance didn't amount to anything.

And I get it.
I do.
No matter what feelings I had for you,
You just could not feel the same.
I understand that part.
and I understand why.
But you lied about her,
and told me not to worry,
and you pushed me away for being too jealous,
when I had every right to be.
I guess she doesn't get jealous, does she?

Its just so Ironic,
how someone with "no heart"
can love all of a sudden.
and I hope she is good to you
because I would have been good to you.
I hope you can trust her
because you could have trusted me.
and I hope she is everything you were looking for,
everything you want,
because apparently I wasn't.

She won.
And her prize...you.
But I don't regret any of our time together,
no matter how forced.
I don't even regret the heartache I endured.
We had some good times,
I could have handled things a lot better,
but I guess I scared you off,
got too close too fast,
and you weren't ready for that.
Well, I guess you are ready now,
and see you lied to me again.
You said that when you were ready,
I'd be the first one to know.
But that's ok,
our second chance had come and gone,
and I believe everything happens for a reason...

See, I don't regret any of it
because through you, I met your brother.
And he is the best thing that has every happened to me.

Its just so Ironic,
that he happened to be the one who saved me
from my own entrapment over you.
I wonder if things would have ended up the same,
had I met him first,
but if I had never been with you,
I don't think I would have ever met him.
Do you see the Irony here?
Because once upon a time,
I loved you, so much.
I really did,
it wasn't just infatuation.
and for so long I couldn't get over you.
I watched you fall for girls who would only hurt and use you.
Well, I hope she's not one of them.
I hope she's just like me and more.
Truth is, I don't think you could have handled me.
He has stuck by me and put up with my shit,
as I have stuck by him and put up with his.
You and I, it wouldn't have lasted,
no matter how much I would have wanted it to.
I know that now.

You were just a brief part of my life,
memories in passing,
meant to bring me to something better.
You see, I have won too.
My prize...something greater than you.
I just hope that your prize will be just as good.

© Copyright NMJ 2011

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Comments 9 comments

damian0000 profile image

damian0000 5 years ago from Belfast

Hey Nikki,

I love this... especially the start of second verse

"And I get it.

I do.

No matter what feelings I had for you,"

Brilliant --- great stuff! :-)

Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

thank you damian. "isn't it ironic? dont ya think? just a little too ironic..." lol

Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

"But I don't regret any of our time together,

no matter how forced.

I don't even regret the heartache I endured.

We had some good times,"

Very beautiful! I guess true love does not seek reciprocation.

Astra Nomik profile image

Astra Nomik 5 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

When we love someone we expect them to love us back. When they choose someone else, it's so easy to be angry and frustrated with them. Wondering why they didn't pick us in the first place. We end up feeling like a garment that was discarded, or used and cast off. Oh that is a bad feeling to get, Nikki. I hope this is from long times past and not the present.

And anyway, you met his brother. Yaaay. LOL. Good for you, Nikki. :)

Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

na i just find it ironic is all. I dont hold any anger or hate towards him except that I dont trust him around his brother. because he screws him over all the time. Thanks for commenting everyone. the moral of this poem is, that things dont always happen the way you'd like, but better things do fall in place. and you cant force someone to love you. love isnt forced, it just happens.

northweststarr profile image

northweststarr 5 years ago from Washington State

I admire how you really put youself out there... As a married woman with 3 kids I'd have to say though, sometimes you have to work at love. If you expect everything to come up roses throughout an entire relationship, you're never going to find anyone you can put up with and who can put up with you permanently. Because in the end, that's what love is... Findng someone you care enough about to stick with throughout the insanity and hubris that is life... Good for you for not holding a grudge! i'm certainly not that big a person. I cheered when i heard my college sweetheart/fiance was getting divorced from the woman he left me for.

Is it your theory then that everything is fated to be? It's not you know. Our fate is determined by our own choices... and those of the people we choose to let into our lives. Someone who gets hit by a bus wasn't fated to die, she just made the choice to not pay attention when she stepped off the curb. In fact, we all have a destiny, yes, but it's changeable and defined by our own self-image and Kharmic choices.

Sorry if I sounded preachy just then, you didn't ask for my opinion.

This was a very personal poem, but it seems more like a journal entry to me. Maybe if you gave it some better form or more imagery?

Thanx for a thought-provoking hub!

Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana Author

its just something i needed to get off my chest. and idk how much i believe in fate and so forth, i just believe that everything happens for a reason. we make the choices we make...for a reason. and whatever outcome that happens, whether it is the outcome we wanted or not, it is the outcome for a reason. even if that reason is just cuz that is the choice we made. idk its hard to explain, but my experiences has taught me that things dont just happen randomly. every piece is a part of a puzzle and we are continuously putting the puzzle together. sometimes the pieces dont fit but they lead you to the pieces that do. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Cheeky Girl profile image

Cheeky Girl 5 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

I liked the moral to this hub. And yes, it can be ironic. :)

PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

great work, Nikki. Honest. Like a journal entry

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