How To Get Yourself Robbed
Are you a thrill seeker who enjoys intense situations? One who loves being forced to hand over money and/or valuables under the threat of direct violence? Here are some simple ways to make one’s self more appealing to those looking for their next victim. In some cases, it won’t even take much work on your part,
Be it the economic climate, or just a decline in civilization, it seems that today more than ever, people can be trusted to do the wrong thing. Included here are several easy ways to ensure getting yourself robbed. Think of it as a backwards PSA.
*If one does not want to get robbed it is suggested they do the exact opposite of the tips listed below.
Carry cash and count it in public – Riding the train or walking down a busy street, one sure fire way to attract the attention of those with less than noble intentions is to pull out a wad of cash and start counting. Let’s see $35…$40….$41…$42…say was I at $41 or $42? I’m sure you can find someone to help you out.
Pay no attention to your surroundings – While walking to the ATM, be sure to pay absolutely no attention to what’s going on around you. Concentrate on pulling out your wallet, and if you want to go the extra mile, start chanting your pin code.
Avoid well lit areas - Whether you are out for an evening jog, or just taking an after dinner stroll, be sure to avoid streetlights. Take a shortcut through an unknown part of town, cut through back alleyways, or maybe even park your car in a dark creepy back lot. Have Fun!
Show off that Ipad! – If you have an Ipad, nook, kindle or some other cool gadget, show it off. Use it on public transportation or if you drive, just leave it on the passenger seat when you go shopping! Trust that your fellow citizens will take care of the rest.
Social Media– This one makes it easy. Before you go on your summer vacay, announce it to the world via Facebook or Twitter. Better yet, make sure there are photos of your house and/or address posted on your profile and that all privacy settings are off or set to default, which is off. New tv? Facebook it! Brand new laptop? Ditto! Or better yet, send out public invitations on fb for the next party at your place! Social media makes everything easier, including getting robbed!
Craigslist– If you buy or sell anything on Craigslist, be sure to arrange the purchase at your home address. If you are selling electronics, invite the potential buyer inside to case the joint--err- see the newer television you just bought. Sure, you've never met Shadycat666 in person, but that doesn't make him a bad guy now does it?
Do not use common sense -This is crucial. If you're out in the city, having a good time, disregard all common sense that you may otherwise use. Drinking at the bar? Leave that phone on the table. Need some cash? Dart out by yourself to that atm you saw several blocks down the street. Nothing says safe like a drunk out-of-towner with lowered inhibitions!
At the ball game – You're probably thinking, at the ball game? I can't get robbed there, it's a family atmosphere! And you would be wrong. Today, many ball games are packed with drunk people looking for trouble. To increase your chances, visit the restroom wearing the opposing team's jersey, be loud!
These simple, easy, everyday tips should help you find it easier in your quest to get robbed. Getting robbed or burglarized is easier than ever, requiring little effort on our part as our society never ceases to amaze and astound us with new lows. With a lack of regard or concern about others, your chances of experiencing a theft have greatly improved over the years. So remember, head down, eyes closed, and wallet open! Good Luck!