How To Get Yourself Robbed

Are you a thrill seeker who enjoys intense situations? One who loves being forced to hand over money and/or valuables under the threat of direct violence? Here are some simple ways to make one’s self more appealing to those looking for their next victim. In some cases, it won’t even take much work on your part,

Be it the economic climate, or just a decline in civilization, it seems that today more than ever, people can be trusted to do the wrong thing. Included here are several easy ways to ensure getting yourself robbed. Think of it as a backwards PSA.

*If one does not want to get robbed it is suggested they do the exact opposite of the tips listed below.

Carry cash and count it in public – Riding the train or walking down a busy street, one sure fire way to attract the attention of those with less than noble intentions is to pull out a wad of cash and start counting. Let’s see $35…$40….$41…$42…say was I at $41 or $42? I’m sure you can find someone to help you out.

Pay no attention to your surroundings – While walking to the ATM, be sure to pay absolutely no attention to what’s going on around you. Concentrate on pulling out your wallet, and if you want to go the extra mile, start chanting your pin code.

Avoid well lit areas - Whether you are out for an evening jog, or just taking an after dinner stroll, be sure to avoid streetlights. Take a shortcut through an unknown part of town, cut through back alleyways, or maybe even park your car in a dark creepy back lot. Have Fun!

Show off that Ipad! – If you have an Ipad, nook, kindle or some other cool gadget, show it off. Use it on public transportation or if you drive, just leave it on the passenger seat when you go shopping! Trust that your fellow citizens will take care of the rest.

Social Media– This one makes it easy. Before you go on your summer vacay, announce it to the world via Facebook or Twitter. Better yet, make sure there are photos of your house and/or address posted on your profile and that all privacy settings are off or set to default, which is off. New tv? Facebook it! Brand new laptop? Ditto! Or better yet, send out public invitations on fb for the next party at your place! Social media makes everything easier, including getting robbed!

Craigslist– If you buy or sell anything on Craigslist, be sure to arrange the purchase at your home address. If you are selling electronics, invite the potential buyer inside to case the joint--err- see the newer television you just bought. Sure, you've never met Shadycat666 in person, but that doesn't make him a bad guy now does it?

Do not use common sense -This is crucial. If you're out in the city, having a good time, disregard all common sense that you may otherwise use. Drinking at the bar? Leave that phone on the table. Need some cash? Dart out by yourself to that atm you saw several blocks down the street. Nothing says safe like a drunk out-of-towner with lowered inhibitions!

At the ball game – You're probably thinking, at the ball game? I can't get robbed there, it's a family atmosphere! And you would be wrong. Today, many ball games are packed with drunk people looking for trouble. To increase your chances, visit the restroom wearing the opposing team's jersey, be loud!

These simple, easy, everyday tips should help you find it easier in your quest to get robbed. Getting robbed or burglarized is easier than ever, requiring little effort on our part as our society never ceases to amaze and astound us with new lows. With a lack of regard or concern about others, your chances of experiencing a theft have greatly improved over the years. So remember, head down, eyes closed, and wallet open! Good Luck!

More by this Author


Comments 28 comments

spartucusjones profile image

spartucusjones 4 years ago from Parts Unknown

The other day I was thinking to myself that I was never robbed before. Now I know why. By implementing your tips I am sure of being robbed in no time. Thanks for the practical assistance.


YenzDaSynthKiller profile image

YenzDaSynthKiller 4 years ago from North Carolina

HA HA, too funny. Great Hub overall. Nice format as well, Keep up the Great Work!


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

spartucus, I'm glad I could be of some help, if this hub can just help one person get robbed, my work is done. Thanks!

Thanks yenzDaSynthKiller, glad you enjoyed it!


alipuckett profile image

alipuckett 4 years ago

HA! Great tips. I love the idea of standing around in public counting cash! I'll try that one today!


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks alipuckett! That one will work every time!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Funny stuff, but it's also sad that you are describing the new reality in the US. Fifty years ago, you could have done all of that without worry, as long as it wasn't in a known bad neighborhood. Today, danger is everywhere.


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

I hear ya WillStarr, I would like to think the good still outweighs the bad, but I may be fooling myself! Thanks for reading!


gabgirl12 profile image

gabgirl12 4 years ago

Wow...very tongue and cheek here. I also am reminded of the fact that being a 'woman' its also easier to get robbed and worse even to be raped. Sad but true. Also being elderly is another factor, but lately you have been hearing about older folks defending themselves. I think especially you should never announce you're going to retire to too many people. Even if it's a great thing, I think it puts you at risk.


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

That's all I know gabgirl, thanks!


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 4 years ago from New York

A humorous way to make a serious point. You've done a great job. There are lots of people out there that should read and heed this hub! Especially the FB fans who give out details of their every journey.

Voted up and useful.


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks tillsontitan, it is amazing what people will post on fb!


jainismus profile image

jainismus 4 years ago from Pune, India

Great tips for getting robbed easily.....


singhrakeshs profile image

singhrakeshs 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

Useful hub and nice tips you have sharing...

Voted up ++ Useful ....


Electro-Denizen profile image

Electro-Denizen 4 years ago from Wales, UK

Beautiful hub! Great ideas on how to aid robbery. Will take less care next time. Voted up!


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks jainismus!

Glad I could help singhrakeshs, thanks!

Thank you Electro-Denizen, you can never be too carelesss!


ib radmasters profile image

ib radmasters 4 years ago from Southern California

Good one

Did I miss the one where you are in the mall parking lot, thinking that it is safe with all the cameras, and security. This is how car jackers go car shopping but don't know how to break into a car, and hot wire it. But, wait you have the keys.

Thanks


Rock_nj profile image

Rock_nj 4 years ago from New Jersey

Another way to get robbed is to leave your purse or personal belongings unattended in a store, including a grocery store, while you think deeply about whether or not you want to make a purchase. While you think about it, a robber may act on taking your purse or personal belongings.

The social networking one is important. People updating their status all of the time are letting the bad guys (and gals) know that they are not home and their home is available to be burglarized.


rahul0324 profile image

rahul0324 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

Will do exactly the opposite my friend!

Great Scribe LOL!


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Great points Rock_nj, thanks!

I would recommend that rahul, Thanks!


Angela Brummer profile image

Angela Brummer 4 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

My kids and the ipad left on the park bench everywhere... UGH! Thanks so much... great informaiton!


michael veto 3 years ago

I live in spfld mass im getting one hundred and sixty dollars after christmas i wanna get robbed wat do i do


weestro profile image

weestro 3 years ago from Virginia Author

Not sure. That may take some work. But you're on the right track by posting it...


michael veto 3 years ago

U know ppl in the spfld area that will rob me? Wat will happen if i flash my money in public? By posting it would get me robbed?


michael veto 3 years ago

Today i have $47 and i counted it and no one approached me saying they wanted to rob me so wat do i do to get robbed?


Michael veto 3 years ago

Is there anyone from spfld mass that will tell to run my pockets i wanna get robbed


weestro profile image

weestro 3 years ago from Virginia Author

Michael, it sounds as if spfld is a very low crime locality, but at the same time I feel as though you are not fully committed to getting jacked. Keep at it my friend. Find the nearest liquor store or cash advance business and continue your efforts. Good Luck!


michael veto 3 years ago

Thanks for the tip i just got robbed i flashed my money and someone told me to run my pockets and i handed the money over he said thank you to me for flashing my money he alao sais i was an easy target


michael veto 2 years ago

Last week I flashed my miney and a 15 year old kid told me to run my pockets it was exciting

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working