How To Tell If Your Neighbor Is Crazy

Most of us have had our run-ins with a few crazy members of society. But what happens when these “crazies” live next door. I have compiled a list of obvious signs that your neighbor has gone off the deep end. How do you tell if your neighbor is crazy?


1. Your neighbor has “crazy eyes”. He either has shifty eyes, or he just stares at you wide eyed and expressionless.


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2. Your neighbor answers the door in his boxers with a beer can in one hand and a remote control in the other.

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3. Your neighbor has crazy animals. They usually have cute names like “Fluffy” or “Scooter“, but take cautions, these animals have been schooled in crazy.

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4.Your neighbor owns 5 or more cats, and call them his/her “best friends“. You may have a potential animal hoarder on your hands.

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5. Your neighbor stands outside their house and talks on the phone so loudly, you can hear every word of their conversation from your living room.


6. When visiting, your neighbor won’t leave for five hours even though you’ve given every social cue, that they’ve worn out their welcome.

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7. Your neighbor wears little to no clothes in public. This is very disturbing to say the least.

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8. Your neighbor talks to much, mostly nonsensical babble. You nod patiently, but you have no idea what they’ve just said.


9. Your neighbor doesn’t talk enough. When you try to start up a conversation they stare at you blankly like they’re stoned. This is a good time to politely back away.


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10.The police are at your neighbors house at least twice a month. You’ve even had to call the police on them.

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11. Your neighbor plays their music extremely loud. But its not your typical party music. Its usually Kenny Rogers or The Sound of Music soundtrack.


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12. Your neighbor starts arguments with you, usually about something stupid, like “We don’t like the flowers you’ve just planted, the colors clash with our patio”.

13. Your neighbors yell at each other in the front yard.



14. Your neighbor wears socks with sandals, Enough said.

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15. Your neighbor never returns borrowed lawn equipment, and when you ask them aboutit they claim you gave it to them.


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16. When talking your neighbor constantly invades your personal space. When you try to back away they move even closer.

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17. Your neighbor has a habit of giving “too much information”. they want to tell you every detail of their visit to the proctologist.

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18. Your neighbor seems to know everything about everyone else on the block. Its not normal gossip. Its borderline stalker information.

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19. Your neighbor constantly takes your mail as an excuse to talk to you.

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20. Your neighbor is a member of the NRA, and owns several guns.


If your neighbor is displaying 1 or all of these signs, you might want to think about moving. Or just avoid them as much as possible. This list is just for fun, if you find yourself meeting a few of these criteria, don’t worry there are lots of crazies out there just like you.

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Comments 6 comments

nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia

this was a fun read thanks


Gabby G profile image

Gabby G 5 years ago from USA Author

I'm glad you liked it :)

I was inspired by my neighbors

They're pretty wacky.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

OH my this was hysterical! Well, up until you started talking about me hahaha.. :) Ok I'm only #10, but I don't advertise it. I currently live alone, and have the other 9 neighbors! LOL.

I just totally cracked up about "Crazy Eyes" because I could not think of a good gift for a friend.. she's a hard person to buy for! I know she LOVES the dollar store (she has "dollar store parties" which are so funny, people get the kookiest things, they really are fun) so I went through and thought, well, she said no more than $10. for her birthday, so she was getting 10 Dollar store items! LOL.. Ok, I got the normal, a few hair things as her hair is long, a silly cup it was a hand or something goofy.. but then I seen thing plastic thing, it was the only one! It looked like a plastic perogie! LOL! With eyes pasted on it! Ok, it went in the bag. So with my 10 silly items I just put a ribbon around the top of the bag and since she's a "no frills" type person just plopped it on the gift table and she eyed it until it was gift time! Wouldn't you know, the first thing she picked up when it was gift time, and she looked inside, and her eyes got "crazy eyed"LOL she got a big grin and pulled that silly perogie thing out and said "I LOVE THIS, IT'S NAME IS CRAZY EYES" hahaa... Well, later as time went on, I was thumbing through her face book photos, only to see that Crazy Eyes HAD A LIFE! So funny! She'd taken it on vacations and set a drink in front of it with a straw lol, had things inside it, oh the story goes on! Then I saw it on her friends page! SHE TOO took it on a vacation! I tell you that is the most fun I've ever seen anyone have with a DOLLAR store item in my life! Just too funny! 2. Big Simsons fan!

I'm the one who fits 12. My neighbor came over about a week ago to tell me because my yard isn't like they want it to be, that I am not a Christian! Um, I think that one pretty much makes everything else seem normal! LOL!

Thanks for the giggle! I'm wondering if I should just shoot (ooops pun intended hehe) over to your YouTube for fashion tips and we'll leave it at that LOL! V-up and Funny!

p.s. lala.. not leaving heh.. just kidding. Sorry about your wacky neighbors! :)


Gabby G profile image

Gabby G 5 years ago from USA Author

Katharella that's so funny. Yeah I think everyone knows people like this.


sherryboom profile image

sherryboom 5 years ago from Georgia

Awesome read! Also, a perfect check-list for those times I need to make sure my neighbor is crazy.


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 22 months ago

Even though there is a perfectly good dog run across the street, my neighbors still seem to insist on having their dogs use my front yard as a toilet.

And as for those who prefer dogs to people: No human being has ever taken a crap on my front lawn in full view of God and everyone.

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