How to Become the Perfect Grandparent

Rush to get a wetwipe?  (1 point); Stroll over to get a dry napkin? (3 points); Pull up her shirt and wipe it off?  (5 points); If you bought the cupcake and left before it was eaten?  (10 points)
Rush to get a wetwipe? (1 point); Stroll over to get a dry napkin? (3 points); Pull up her shirt and wipe it off? (5 points); If you bought the cupcake and left before it was eaten? (10 points)

What Makes a Perfect Grandparent?

  • All grandparents want the world to see them as Perfect Grandparents. When they make posts about their grandchildren on Facebook, they want to imagine all of their friends and family gushing about how wonderful they are.
  • But (and I speak from personal experience) the journey to become the perfect grandparent is not an easy one. There are things you must do that seem to be above and beyond the call of grandparenting.
  • Luckily, you have run across this article, and I have devised a method of determining how close you are getting in your quest for perfection. I have developed a scoring system of sorts, and the higher you score, the better you are at grandparenting.
  • This is just my own personal testing system, but I'm willing to share it with each and every one of you.


You Can Score Yourself From 1-10

  • The first step is to ask yourself the following question: How much does the baby puke that is constantly on your shoulder really bother you? If, when the baby spits up on you, you go running to the shower and put on a whole new outfit, give yourself 1 point (not good). If you change your shirt immediately, but don't take a shower, give yourself 5 points. If you are completely oblivious to the puke and you go to Wal-Mart without so much as wiping the puke off, you can give yourself 10 points (it may bother the folks at Wal-Mart, but not the perfect grandparent).
  • The next step is to ask yourself this question: When you find your hairbrush in the toilet, how do you react? If you go immediately to the drug store to buy a new one, give yourself 1 point. If you take it immediately to the kitchen and put it in boiling water for 10 minutes to kill any and all germs, give yourself 5 points. If you just put it under the hot water in the bathroom for a second or two, then dry it completely with a clean bath towel, give yourself 7 points. If you grab it out of the toilet and shake it a few times before you put it in the drawer, give yourself 10 points.
  • The last step is to ask yourself another question: Does your constant bad breath (because you keep finding your toothbrush in the dog's water bowl) bother you? If, every day (that's how often my granddaughter puts mine in the dog bowl), you throw it immediately in the garbage and rush out to buy a new one, give yourself 1 point. If you put it in a pan of boiling water for about 10 minutes before you put it back in the bathroom, give yourself five points. If you go and brush your teeth with it and put it BACK in the dog's bowl so your grandchild won't have to bother, give yourself 10 points.
  • I have taken the test outlined above and scored perfectly. I am, therefore, the perfect grandparent.


How would you score yourself after being subjected to this without completely freaking out?
How would you score yourself after being subjected to this without completely freaking out?

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Comments 4 comments

Bail Up ! profile image

Bail Up ! 5 years ago

Here I thought I was the perfect grandparent, LOL, I have much to learn! Pretty entertaining hub :)


Casey White profile image

Casey White 5 years ago from United States Author

You WILL be the perfect grandparent. Thanks for stopping by!


Traqqer profile image

Traqqer 5 years ago from Atlanta, GA

With a rowdy 5-year old, this article could apply to me as well (could apply to parents). Man oh man, it can get really tough sometimes. Overall, I think I'd make a great grandparent as I can go home and let the real parents take care of the kid.


flipu4it profile image

flipu4it 5 years ago from Washington

good job

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