Hubpages for DUMMIES

My AHA moment!

Alright you genius of marketing! I bet you didn't think of this one...huh? Well, I want you to know that I have not fallen for your million dollar idea and just because I purchased a "pocket edition" of your book "Cocktails For Dummies" in the dollar isle of Target today does not count! Infact, I even left the "iphone for Dummies" in the toy isle while I was looking for my daughter who stayed home "sick" today and still ate all sorts of junk food even though she promised me she had a stomach flu this morning! I remember the moment that I saw the cover of it and I got a bit annoyed that I had TWO of your books in my basket! So, just know that you only got a dollar out of me today. That is right, your book was in the bargain isle! The world has really changed I tell you and everyone has been affected, even YOU Master Marketeer!

You see I purchased this book so that I can make someone ELSE a drink! Especially after such a terrible 2009, I wanted to ease the pain of some of my close friends and whip up an awesome martini! Even better then the one that the guy makes for 007! "Shakin, not stirred." I want you to know that the main reason you have not made me fall for your really addicting "gimmick" is that it is not for me. That's right....I don't even drink!!!!!

Even when I was walking in a little town in England and your UK editions were featured in the window of the only bookstore for miles, I did not budge! I decided that I would search the web instead of giving into your many little tricks! I have to say when there was a title that had something to do about "Photoshop" updates and I was sick of looking on the web for a couple of days, I was tempted! But NO, I did not give in!

You see you need someone like me to get into the minds of the "smaller thinking population." I have some really good ideas that I would like to throw your way Mr. Genius. You see there is a BIG need for "How to kill a garden snake" and "How to find the right man" for Dummies. I guess it takes an "educated woman" to bring this to your creative flow. This is how I would write that pocket edition for women still looking.

Introduction.......................

So ladies, you better be ready when Mr. Right comes your way and have a good plan. Afterall there are many more good women out there that would gladly beat you to the punch and I'm not talkin about the one with the booze in it. I'm talking about hungry, gorgeous, women that will do anything to get what they want! Are you ready ladies?

I'm A Genius!

So, it is apparent that I am ahead of you this time around rich guy. I mean how the hell would you know about Hubpages? I can't see you publishing "Hubpages for Dummies" hmmm? Well, you don't have to because I'm going to write it here! Yes, that is right....I have the title on this venue Mr. "Know It All!"

You see I can not get in trouble because I'm not SELLING anything under your trademark name. I'm only "promoting" your books which makes me an IDIOT! Where is MY cut of the sales? Hmmmmm? You see this is my "review" of all of your books! GREAT, AWESOME, EXCITING, DU....oops! I mean, do I REALLY have to pay $20.00 for something that I can google or research myself if I was "patient?" OH!!!!!! A HAAAAAAAAAA

I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT!!!!!!! You are selling to LAZY people! Now, I get it! Welldone!!!! Well, let me assure you that I'm not lazy!!! I thought I would give you my example of my new series of books called "IDIOTS AND THE MEN THAT ROLL OVER THEM." 

Idiots And The Men That Roll Over Them

Ok, girls.....get your lipstick on and go to the mirror and say "I'm not an idiot! He has to beg for my presence!" After you say that atleast "10" times, have a drink and whatever you do "relax."

Here are the "3" simple rules to Capture Mr. Right.

1-Do not wear matching underwear (explanation: men will think you show this to everyone)

2-Do not call him after you have a wild night. NEVER CALL HIM! (really, do I have to explain?)

3-Do not show him that you live in a slum.

I hope this easy guide will lead you to success! Good luck ladies!

Hubbing for the Overwhelmed By GPAGE

Welcome New Hubbers! I'm NOT going to call you a NEWBIE because I feel that may give you more "stage fright!" So, here is a few easy steps to get started here on Hubpages.

1-WRITE (please do not bother with anything else until you write atleast "5" hubs)

2-READ MY HUB BELOW CALLED : HUBS HUBBA HUBBA (I wrote this when I first started)

3-WRITE ABOUT SOMETHING YOU LOVE OR JUST WRITE ABOUT THINGS TO SELL

4-INVITE YOUR FRIENDS TO READ WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN

5-THE MORE YOU WRITE THE MORE THINGS WILL FLOW HERE. TRUST ME. 

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Comments 8 comments

habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

Did you write this just for me??


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

ha ha ha habee.......You really made me giggle! VERY funny! Can you imagine how much this brand has made all these years?!! G


Mr Nice profile image

Mr Nice 6 years ago from North America

Hi GPAGE;

Now I know you are one of us...........hahahaha. Thanks for sharing your laugh.


Alan Choi profile image

Alan Choi 6 years ago from NC, USA

very helpful for all


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

Mr. Nice....NICE to see you here......thanks for coming by for a giggle ; GPAGE


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

Alan Choi....thanks for stopping in and leaving your comment. Best, GPAGE


viryabo profile image

viryabo 6 years ago

LOLLLL! my ribs are cracking.

Well done G.


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

viryabo! Glad to make you giggle anytime! ha G

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