Humiliating Moments - Chapter One: The Bridge Story

Chapter One is NOT the Beginning

I don't want anyone to be misled by the name of this story and assume that this event is the first humiliating thing that has ever happened to me. It is FAR from being the first and apparently, it is not even close to being the last. I have shared these stories with my friends over the years and although they love being on the receiving end of the tales, many can't understand why I would tell ANYONE if I didn't have to. My answer is usually, "Why not?"

I find that people are less intimidated and tend to like you better when you show your imperfections and can laugh at yourself. If something embarrassing happens to you, it doesn't define who YOU are. Plus, a good story is a good story.

Demerarra Bridge

Photo taken from the half way point of the bridge.
Photo taken from the halfway point of the bridge.

The Introduction

My husband and I lived in Guyana, South America, for two years working as volunteers on a building construction site. It is a hot and humid country and the work was often physically demanding. About a mile from where we lived and 1/2 mile from the construction site was the great Demerarra River and the Demerarra Floating Bridge. The river empties into the ocean not far downstream, so there is always an ocean breeze. I got into the habit of walking to the bridge, running on the walkway the length of the bridge and back (2 1/2 mi.), and then walking back home. Running the bridge with the refreshing breeze and the sites and smells of the river could relax and clear my mind like nothing else could. This is where the story begins.

The Bridge Story

All week I had been sick feeling, you know the kind that isn't bad enough to stay home, but you just feel lousy half the time? To top it all off, I was constipated as well. Sometimes living in a foreign country can do that to you. After three days I finally broke down and took a laxative on a Saturday morning, but nothing happened. Pretty much slept the whole weekend. Then I decided that I needed to get out of my rut and start exercising again. I hadn't been all week, so I was determined to go running Sunday around 5 pm like I usually did and it started out great. It is important to remember that this is a floating bridge. It is attached to barges in the water, and it is 1.2 miles long. When I was more than half way across the bridge, I started to have a few stomach pains, and I was actually happy because I was thinking that moving was just the cure I needed for my constipation and that maybe now something would finally happen. Well, it did.

The pains started getting a little worse and I was really feeling like I was going to have to go soon. I was considering going to the guard shack on the other side of the river and asking if they had a bathroom I could use, but as I got nearer and looked at the small building they were in, I just couldn't do it. Plus, the pains had resided a little bit. I decided that I could make it back across and I would just walk to the construction site or the small KFC if need be.

I couldn't run anymore because that was too painful, but I was walking fast back across the bridge. Then I was walking a little bit slower. Then I was holding onto the rail and squatting down trying to get that intense urge to go away, but it did no good. I was going to crap myself soon and there wasn't a dang thing I could do about it. I couldn't go back to the guard shack because I had already gotten too far and without knowing if there was even a bathroom there, I couldn't risk giving up the distance I had gained.

Now I had broken out into a cold sweat and I was giving myself little goals to reach.....if I can just make it to the first hill......now, if I can just make it to the stairs...etc.(Explanation: There are two places where the bridge is elevated high over the water to allow boats to pass underneath...one is very high for the larger ships.) I was feeling pretty frantic because no matter how positive my thinking was, deep down I knew I wasn't going to make it. I seriously thought about waving a car down and asking them to drive me across, but I couldn't stop to think too much...I had to keep moving, which makes everything worse, by the way.

The Demararra Floating Bridge

Walkway to the bridge.
Walkway to the bridge.
Small breach in fence.
Small breach in fence.
My view from under the bridge...Please don't let anyone walk by
My view from under the bridge...Please don't let anyone walk by
You can't tell it, but the river was running freely in between these barges.
You can't tell it, but the river was running freely in between these barges.

Giving in was NOT an alternative since I still had a mile and ½ to get home even after I got off the bridge and couldn't bear the idea of #2 running down my legs in front of the hundreds of people I would have to pass. I was looking for a way to climb under the bridge as I walked and thought I knew of a place further up at the lowest spot where I would be able to climb down. Sure enough, when I got to that spot I had a decision to make.

I was in terrible agony by then, more from fear than pain and I sat on the step to see if that would "push" everything back up. I need to add for the record that "sitting" was the worst thing I could have done, but it did help make the decision for me. I squeezed through the fence and onto the barge under the bridge and as the cars bumped along above me, I pulled my shorts down to expose my bare bottom to anyone that may have been passing on the sidewalk and let it go!!

The whole thing took about 15 seconds, being under pressure and all. It just so happened that the MP3 player that I wore attached to my shorts irritated my skin and I had just started putting an old sock between the player and my stomach. That sock was a lifesaver, if you can imagine it's new purpose, and it is now history somewhere in the Demerarra River. I climbed back out onto the walkway and still the coast was clear and I easily walked the rest of the way back. I wasn't too cocky at this point, in fact, I was rather humbled and walked at a slower than usual pace and it was good that I did because as I was coming off the back path to the road by the construction site, I had another attack, albeit much smaller and less intense. I had enough time to walk to the site and had the guards let me in to use the bathroom. Now I really was fine and made it back to our house with no further incidents.

In Conclusion

I feel that I can no longer complain about the color of the water in Guyana as I have made my own small contribution to keeping it brown. What did I learn from this experience? First of all, just because a laxative has not worked yet, does not mean that is NOT GOING to. Second, I learned that I am capable of doing whatever I have to do if I am desperate enough.

So now I need your input as to whether I should continue to share all the humiliating, embarrassing, idiotic things that happen with others or should I bury them so they'll never see the light of day? I would also love to hear any stories anyone else has. It might encourage me to write Chapter Two. Remember, you are not held accountable for the embarrassing things that happen to you, but by how you react to them.

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Comments 58 comments

soyelude profile image

soyelude 8 years ago from Lagos - Nigeria

Nice hub Rhym...most of us have embarrasing moments too and will definitely like to share them too. Please write a lot more...I found this very open and human. It shows we are all human and would re-act in like manner if caught in the same situation. Very nice hub!!


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

I have to admit Soyelude, that I had my doubts and thought about nixing the whole idea. I guess I'll give it a few more days and see what happens. Thanks for the input.


Gerg profile image

Gerg 8 years ago from California

Well, there's no denying it now, Rhym! Interesting and well-written - thanks for sharing.


Hazok profile image

Hazok 8 years ago from Malaysia

Good writing. But it's not so embarrasing in a sense that no one knows about it. Until now. LOL.


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thanks guys, I really appreciate the nice comments.


In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California

Rhym,

As for myself, I always enjoy a good embarrassing moment. It shows that we are all human and can be humbled at any moment. Let me just say, you followed my first cardinal rule to the T, which is, never under any circumstance go in your pants. It simply makes things so much worse, because you not only have to wear them until you can remove them, but you then have a huge mess to clean up later. Frankly my dear, you did precisely the thing I would have done!


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thanks for the affirmation In The Dog House. I always thought I handled it with as much dignity and poise as the situation allowed. I was wondering.....is this seriously so big of a problem that it ranks as your #1 Cardinal Rule? Maybe I should rethink my priorities!


yenseca profile image

yenseca 8 years ago from Canada

As W.H. Auden(1907-1973) an english born american poet/dramatist/editor said:

"you will be a poet because you will always be humiliated". At least you are not afraid of that fact which many people hate to admit or delve into.


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thanks Yenseca. If life didn't surprise us with love, embarrassments, troubles and joys, there wouldn't be much reason to get up in the morning.


In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California

Yes, my friend, if you can follow #1 all the other rules seem to just fall into place. Quite possibly, the true symbolic meaning of the rule is more important however, which is "Beware of Pride." Just spend a few years with IBS and you will understand why it is such a priority, remember you have just walked a moment in anothers shoes. Be grateful for that experience which has now given you much more sympathy I can tell. Peace!


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 8 years ago from Ontario/Canada

I'm sure most have some 'you rather forget moments'. Fun hub. regards Zsuzsy


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

"Beware of Pride" is a rule I can totally get behind. I admit I don't always remember to follow it, but it only takes one good humbling to knock it back up to #1. Sorry about the IBS and Yes, I do sympathize. You have such a great spirit...thanks for letting us share it.


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 8 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

I'd like to join Soyelude in requesting you to write a lot more. You have a wonderful sense of humor, an excellent command of the language, a solid sense of story, and the ability to let your reader "see" what you are writing about. Never in a million words could I have come up with such a brilliant description of that real and pressing need to sit down and push everything back up. Very refreshing. Brava!


jooles01 8 years ago

There's nothing like a good laugh to give you a positive outlook. I love these situations because though they are really embarrasing at the time they really are good to remember and talk about afterwards. You're a great writer - keep them coming.


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

WOW! Can I just say that I am a little overwhelmed with the response this hub is getting? Especially from you, Sally's Trove, as I am sure I don't deserve it. Didn't y'all read that I don't always remember about the Pride thing? Not that I am not glowing with the praise, mind you, just didn't expect it. Thank you very much...you have all made my month.


monitor profile image

monitor 8 years ago from The world.

This is a hoot. Thanks Rhym. I used to run about 100 miles a week when I was running halfs. I have to say. Been there done that but also have to say you were so lucky to have that sock. Please keep writing.

Mon. Your fan.


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thanks very much Mon. I think the boy scouts are really know what they are about with the motto, "Always be prepared".


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

i have a good to tell...but am too shy to do it...will wait for your next one...G-Ma :o) hugs


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

I will get to work on it soon then. I love a good story so don't be surprised if I hold you to it.


Amalche2 profile image

Amalche2 8 years ago

Embarrasing moments always serve the purpose of connecting us to each other. We can all relate. Maybe not in exactly the same way- but you know what I mean. Great story.


MrMarmalade profile image

MrMarmalade 8 years ago from Sydney

I know and understand what you went through.

I had carbon Tetrachloride poisoning, as I had endeavoured to put a fire out.

Result the fire got worst and I had violent runs for 18 months. I got so thin they called me the Belsen Horror.

I still kept on working and some times did not make it to the correct place. I survived.

As for pride I was in hospital once for ten weeks and three operatiions. The first thing that goes when you are sick is pride.

This is a great Hub and as many have said please do keep on writing, Your next one may make me laugh.

I did not laugh here as I had been down the same road.

Thank you


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thanks Amalche2 and welcome. I'll be watching for more from you.


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Mr. Marmalade,

All I can say is "Yikes!" I just looked up a little about Tetrachloride poisoning and it is some serious stuff. If you were sick for 18 months, then you really had a lot in your system. I am sorry to bring up such bad memories and hopefully I will be able to make you laugh in the future. I wish you the best.


Stonecipher profile image

Stonecipher 8 years ago from San Francisco

Haha, that was a fantastic story! It seems as though I agree with most of the otheres here...you absolutely should keep sharing this!


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Glad you liked it Stonecipher. Don't worry....there is a sequel.


Blogger Mom profile image

Blogger Mom 8 years ago from Northeast, US

Can't wait to read more! Great hub!


donnaleemason profile image

donnaleemason 8 years ago from North Dakota, USA

I really needed and appreciate the laugh. It was brilliantly written. Let's have some more.

Donna


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thanks very much Donnalee. I just posted Chapter Two so we'll see how that on goes over.


DJ Funktual profile image

DJ Funktual 8 years ago from One Nation Under a Groove

WOW!  That is a doozy.  First of all, I have to answer your initial inquery about whether or not to publish more of these....YES! 

This was a riveting little story and you are bold to tell as a woman.

I think men tend to find themselvs in these type of public situations more often which made a female's perspective distinctly unique and smelly!

Ha! 

You may have inspired to me to share some embarrassing ones of my own.


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Bring them on....I'll bet you got some great ones.


DJ Funktual profile image

DJ Funktual 8 years ago from One Nation Under a Groove

Oh yeah.... I tend to accentuate the wonderful perks but nobody succeeds in the DJ business without a lot of embarassing failures first. That's why it is so hard to get into. If you fail right away and are replaced you tend to never recover.

If I write an embarassing moment HUB will you sue?


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

I haven't applied for the patent on being a dork yet so I guess you are safe. It is possible to be a cool and a dork at the same time, btw. If your hub is better than mine, I'll just be happy for your success and link to your page. I may need an article of clothing or a lock of hair from you, though. And how do you feel about stick pins?


DJ Funktual profile image

DJ Funktual 8 years ago from One Nation Under a Groove

Make no mistake. We ARE ALL half-Dork!

That's really why i love Funk b/c it's so silly! Can you imagine Cameo or Rick James or P-Funk taking themseves too seriously like these rappers do nowadays?

Long Live the Dinkus inside us!


MommyMandy profile image

MommyMandy 8 years ago from The South

Funny!! I love real people, I almost pooped my pants yesterday! I'm a fan!


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thanks MommyMandy, you'll have to tell us about that one sometime.


Misha profile image

Misha 8 years ago from DC Area

LOL Rhym, you are so cute sharing this. You definitely hit the nail with the story, cause probably everybody had similar experience in their life - so everybody can relate, including myself of course. Thanks for making me smiling :)


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thank you my Russian friend, you always have such nice things to say. With your "need for speed", you probably have a few embarrassing moments yourself from on the road. Glad to be able to make you smile today.


MasonsMom profile image

MasonsMom 8 years ago from U.S.A.

This is so funny, real & refreshing! Looking forward to reading more of your hubs!


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thanks MasonsMom. You probably have great stories all the time with a little one running around. My best friend has kid stories that put mine to shame. I may have to get her permission to tell a few of them.


RFox profile image

RFox 8 years ago

Glad I'm not the only one this has happened to! Lol.

I used to run long distance. My regular run was 12km a day. I lived in the wilderness in Canada at the time and ran along old logging and forestry roads.

I also have a major soy allergy, which I didn't know at the time was causing all my issues and I found out that certain types of soy do to me what that laxative did to you.

I was out in the middle of nowhere when it happened but I had to make it back to my house, which meant seeing other people when I got to town. Luckily I carry tissues in my running belt cause it would have been ugly if I didn't have those! Lol.

The worst thing about having to go in the woods there is that a bear could happen upon you at that inopportune moment. There were lots of black bear there. That's what bothered me the most. Imagine having pants around the ankles, out of control diarrhea and a bear wanders up? :D

Great writing, loved it!


Tater2tot profile image

Tater2tot 8 years ago from ~~~

Keep sharing! Keep sharing! This is hilarious. You are very brave sharing this story on the internet!

RFox, I don't see how it could be much worst if a bear came up on you while you were taking care of business. Because you are supposed to play dead when you see a bear... and the area you have to lay on is covered in your... nasties. Ha-ha.

Tayler!


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Way to go RFox! I knew I couldn't be the only one. I'm glad you didn't get eaten by a bear.

Hey Tayler, thanks for the comment. I don't think I am brave, just honest. There isn't much I won't tell......my husband HATES that!


CJStone profile image

CJStone 8 years ago from Whitstable, UK

Definition, "scatological":

1.the study of or preoccupation with excrement or obscenity. 2.obscenity, esp. words or humor referring to excrement. 3.the study of fossil excrement.

That's us all right.


Veronica Bright profile image

Veronica Bright 8 years ago from Nebraska

Ryme, that was soooo funny! We all have had embarrassing things happen to us, and you were brave enough to put it on the net for all to see. Good for you! I shall have to read the rest of your stories now!

I must have missed something...somehow this was turned into a "scat" story? OMG. lol


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Hey Veronica of the hilarious kitty/cookie pic. Glad you liked it.

CJStone was just commenting on how we both had hubs on this particular type of problem. They are very different but also the same. His is great and can be found at:http://hubpages.com/health/Down-In-The-Dumps... if you want to be entertained.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

Ryme, I was totally feeling your pain. You really have a great way of writing, one that strings the reader along. As mentioned above, this is a situation everyone can identify with. Also mentioned above (no original thoughts today, I guess) is your ability to really "paint" a picture (a little too well in this case: your score is dropping on the Beauty meter!).

Quite funny AND uncomfortable! Good Job!


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 7 years ago from Australia

Rhym, It is only funny in the telling, and you have made it sound very funny indeed.

I have been "caught short " myself and no it is not funny at all?


jeromeo 7 years ago

First commment: Whoooooooooooo. Second comment: Thank God for the sock, the real hero of the story.

Thanks for sharing.


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 7 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Oh agvulpes, you can't believe how unfunny it was at the time, but I had gotten my sense of humor back by that evening and had to tell my friends about it. They were more than happy to have a laugh at my expense even while they cringed. A sign of true friendship, right?


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 7 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thanks for the comment Jeromeo, and I agree with you. The sock saved the day!


Jamie 7 years ago

please continue to share i have never laughed so hard!!! i have a similar story but i could never put in to words as you did!!!! thanks & accuse me for laughing!!!!


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 7 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thank you Jamie. Laughing was the best compliment you could have given.


abcd1111 profile image

abcd1111 6 years ago from Glen Ellyn, IL (Chicago suburb)

Keeping your humor about these moments in your life are what gets you through. I shared a scat story in one of my hubs as well. I'll never be too old to laugh at sh** like this.


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 6 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Why is personal humiliation stories so appealing? I think it's because we all have a doo doo story somewhere in our history. If we can laugh at someone else's story and they are still ok, then we must be alright too. I will definitely scout our your story now. Thanks for your input!


elayne001 profile image

elayne001 6 years ago from Rocky Mountains

Seems everyone likes a good poop story. I have had my share as I too suffer from constipation - the laxatives seem to work when they want to. Thanks for sharing and making us feel so close to you. : )


Chaotic Chica profile image

Chaotic Chica 6 years ago

I am the first to laugh at myself when the occasion arises but I still say that you are braver than I for sharing that one! I'm glad you did, though! Great hub!


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 6 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

I know, right? Life's too short to worry about little stuff. Might as well get some humor out of it.


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

I got here from the link on schatzie's "most embarrassing moments" hub, and am so glad I did! I haven't stopped laughing! You did a marvelous job of *tastefully* describing an experience that most of us would never dream of putting out there for the entire world to read! It could only have been funnier if you'd been forced to lean over the railing at the top of one of elevated parts of the bridge and "decorate" a passing ship! Bravo, Rhym! ;D

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