I Am Home
The Heart Is Home
It has been a while...It has been a while since I have felt this at peace. Three weeks ago I was working in a metal fabrication shop in Pennsylvania, the air filled with the smell of oil and chemicals. The deafening sound of metal shears, punch presses, chemical coaters, and an old hot oil system that sounded like a freight train, shaking the oil filled pipes above my head and drowning out my thought as the solvent adhesives and thick air had slowly been coating my dreams of moving to the only place that has felt like home since I was a young boy.
As I stood there listening to my co-workers complain about their jobs and how much they wanted to work somewhere they were appreciated, I said to them, "One night you go to bed and wake up the next morning and two years have passed you by". I realized that I had been working their for two years and my words had not been offered up for their sake but rather for mine. I am thankful for that job because it came in a time of great necessity but it was not where i was supposed to be. I had become dependent on the safeness of it and was slowly losing my true self. It was the safe job. It was the safe place. It was also a spiritually lost place.
As I looked back to My Journey and the happiness my soul felt even after my return, I noticed a sense of emptiness in comparison, constantly looking for someone or something to help fill the unexplainable "thing" that was missing. This "thing" was the self I had found in Colorado.
It has only been three days but it feels as if I have always been here or at least a part of my soul has. Every morning looking up at the snow capped mountains, I watch as the brilliantly clear stars of the nights sky are peacefully enveloped by the morning sun. I can see my breath in the cold November air and it serves as a wonderful reminder of how lucky I am.
My heart, my Spirit, my mind are on fire and burn bright for this life.
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After my divorce I lost all hope in right and wrong. None of the principles I was brought up on mattered and no one could convince me this life was worth sticking around for.
Don't be me. Follow your emotions and live them. Do not squander the finite time we have in these bodies.