I Am Numb
What's The Thrill
I must be missing something
I have heard one reason people have turned to drinking and doing drugs
Is they try to escape the real world
They keep on doing it and go back to that special place
It becomes home away from home
A secret hide away
They black out and don't remember a thing
Well I can honestly say I have felt just a taste of what they get
My thoughts were in a fog
Every time I tried to think of something
Another emotion would take over
But mine was for different reasons
I went a little to far
I should known better
I kept on pushing my limit
Now I pay the pipper
It happened early one morning
I happened to look at the clock
The time was 11:35 and I had second thoughts
An old expression popped in my head
You can't kill a dead horse
I tried to do things but my mind kept doing a full circle
I couldn't even do what I love to do most
That is write
It happened not because I wasn't thinking
It happened because I had faulty thinking
I went out into my car early in the morning
I decided to clean it out
There was old newspapers in the back seat
Candy wrappers tucked under the seat
Some summer clothes and books tossed in the trunk
Some gifts that we recently bought left in a bag
Then some car stuff we don't use any more
A few empty water bottles tossed in the back
It didn't take long
When I brought the stuff into the house
I knew then it was colder than I thought
I moved quickly while I was cleaning the car
Everything I did could of waited
I was stubborn and foolish
My hands were numb
I could of grabbed gloves from the house
It would of only taken a few minutes
That would of been too easy
Sometimes the weather is so cold and it doesn't take much
When I came in I tried moving my fingers and getting the circulation going
They were still numb
It took awhile and I said how stupid would that of been
Getting frostbite and having to deal with a bigger problem
The rest of my life
I know a friend who not only did the same thing
But did something so much worse
He was at a job and kept working outside in the bitter cold
Taking off his gloves occasionally finishing up some roof work
Then sure enough he paid the price
Three of his fingers were numb
After carefully doing whatever he could to save them
He was lucky two of his fingers came back to normal
They had to cut off half of his middle finger
Stopping the infection so it wouldn't spread to his whole hand
I seen him the other day and he has a sense of humor about it
He told me
What are you going to do
Things happen
I got to thinking these things don't have to happen
He made light of a bad decision
That cost him plenty
Now he says if somebody bothers me a little I give them the little finger gesture
If somebody bothers me a lot they have earned the big finger
Well now my fingers are o.k. and I got a pretty good scare
I have learned my lesson and my friend had to learn the same lesson the hard way
Now life goes on
The same for all those people who have stopped drinking and doing drugs
They now make a better decision than they have made in the past
To put their old bad habits behind them
Finding better things in their life
That create good and not bad
Make them happy naturally not in need of any artificial stimulants
There will be days that are not the best
There will be times you will be tempted
I can only pray you make the right choice
Then sometime later you will realize
Life has it's struggles and troubles
We all face
It is how we handle them that counts
Sticking them out when it is really hard
You might think nobody understands what you are going through
You might be surprised they have done it too
Sharing their story and reminding you they made it and so can you
Do what it takes to survive
That's what makes people great
We learn to adapt and change
Maybe you could even take the time to tell your story
Hoping someone else may be spared
A life of trouble and heartache
Life can be tricky and it can also be filled with unlimited joy
Let's make it a life to remember
Instead of one we try to forget
