I Am a Harsh Master

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The journey is what brings us happiness, not the destination from Cornelia Kopp flickr.com

I Am a Harsh Master

By Tony DeLorger © 2014


Intensely driven to restore my grace,

I find myself grasping at shadows

in the darkness of my thoughts,

and in the end realising my fall a judgement,

something I myself contrived

in my grandiose expectations,

and knowing this I can't help but feel,

I am my own worst enemy,

a nemesis in waiting,

for me to fall short of what I deem proper

for myself and my life.


How harsh I am to myself,

pressuring me to succeed or whatever,

based on a subconscious reckoning of wanted results,

a imagined line to crossed in triumph,

and awarded to myself,

in the knowledge that I have meaning,

and at the core of me, a justification,

within a miraculous life,

one given in love,

by the omniscient,

and me, a mere pawn of circumstance.


How often I fall to myself,

not up to this unrealistic image I drag around,

so often bleeding me to weakness,

where I lose all standing and feel failure,

not at all reconciling true life, achievements and experience,

rather glass half empty pity,

depths of solitude and rejection rampant,

within a soul brimming with life,

and suddenly I see what I have done and find confusion,

for my duality tricks me into thoughts,

far from logic and explanation.


I look back over my life and I see great accomplishment,

yet I invest in that 'falling short' perspective,

and have to reel myself in,

redefine my purpose

and again and again utter the words that centre my being,

'Life is all about the journey'.


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6 comments

Tony DeLorger profile image

Tony DeLorger 2 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia Author

That was such a kind and meaningful compliment. I really appreciate your feedback and support, John. Take care my friend.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

I don't think I have ever read any of your poetry that didn't make me reflect on my own self, life, and feelings, Tony. Your poems challenge me to evaluate these things and what is important. Well done Mate.


Tony DeLorger profile image

Tony DeLorger 2 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia Author

Thanks Carolyn, for dropping by and taking the time to comment. Glad you enjoyed it.


Tony DeLorger profile image

Tony DeLorger 2 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia Author

Thanks Linda, glad you appreciated it. Take care.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 2 years ago from Minnesota

Such a soul searching narrative poem. Your not alone in feeling this way as I think we all put pressure on ourselves to become what we deem successful; forgetting that where we are is just as good. Love how you end this by reminding yourself that it's the journey that is important. Nicely penned Tony.


injoy1947 profile image

injoy1947 2 years ago from Mojave Desert, AZ, USA

Brilliant! So insightful & evocative. Thank you.

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