Looking Back...And Now

Well it is Mother's Day today and I have been here many years before just like you. Celebrating the "love" and looking back at all the fond memories and reflecting on them as we grow older. Love starts with "motherhood." Even with the good and the bad (and I'm sure there is a lot of "bad" just as much as there is "good" mothers or experiences), we try to find a way to think of the "good parts" because afterall why dwell on the negative? Especially after so much time has passed. As the years go by it gets easier to take those "not so good memories" and make them into "better ones." And although some memories can not be made better at all, it gets easier to forget them. But, some memories we just don't forget and that is why I'm writing this today.

The love that has stuck with me most throughout the years has always been "subtle." In the things people have said, done, how much they have shown their love, being there for me. Respect. Love. The love that has touched me most has always come from something as simple as a "sigh." Growing up in a world full of materialism and people living someone else's dreams has brought me to a very simple conclusion. A "sigh" would have been better.

My fondest memories of the simple acts of love came from my grandmother who always showed me that I was in her thoughts, her moments, her sighs. The little notes or articles she would cut out and mail to me to inspire me or to show that she thought of me. Not an e-mail, not just a phone call, but something else and it cost nothing but her heart and time. She would listen to me and this was a precious gift. I once asked her about sex and she got very embarresed but she tried so hard to give me an answer. And when I asked her really intimate questions, she would giggle, blush and her big and beautiful blue eyes would sparkle before she finally gave me my answer that I desperately needed. This was that "sigh" because I took that as a gift because I knew that it was really hard for her to go there. But she did just for me. I will never forget that. The day I took her to get chemo a few years before she died, I held onto her tight as we walked from the doctors. She was so weak but we laughed when a crazy man walked by us and shouted obsenities. We were in Santa Monica and it was just one of those moments where after we laughed, we both held on to eachother and just "sighed." I can write so many more memories when those precious moments imprinted themselves deep inside my heart, but I want to mention something else.

Love. Love. Love.
Love. Love. Love.

What Is Love?

After being in quite a few longterm relationships in my life and finding myself in an amazing place right now where my heart is open and those "sighs" happen every day, I can honestly say that I finally understand what love is. A few years ago I went to see someone very special from my past who I felt very strongly about in college but was not emotionally mature enough to take the relationship further. I knew when I went to see him after so many years that he was in a very loving relationship for more then 20 years and I asked him to explain what "love is" and he did. I listened to him very carefully as the words fell from his mouth while we ate at a local cafe. Out of all the men I knew in the past, he seemed most in touch with his emotions, his feelings and his heart. I wanted what he had, that absolute devotion and freedom that he spoke about and showed me in his words when he spoke about his wife. His heart was full and I knew it. It was in his eyes. It was in his "sighs."

When I look back now, my relationships lacked many moments and sighs and now that I'm in my mid 40's, I have realized that not many were actually right for me. There were snippets of love, some romance, some passion, some sighs but when it came to my heart, they were seriously lacking. My first love was the closest that I ever felt to love, but I was too young to actually understand my really deep feelings at the time. I guess with maturity comes understanding and a very deep level of self awareness.

For You xxx
For You xxx

Love Today and Everyday...

So here I sit on this day where everyone is celebrating love for their mother's and I'm reflecting on the love I have felt throughout my life and the woman that gave me so much of their heart. I'm a devoted and loving mother to my two young children and we celebrated the love and had a lovely time this morning. But the best moments with my children and everyone in my life from my past and who surrounds me now will always be those special "sighs." The thoughts, the moments, the care, the respect, the love and the devotion (and the extra posts on facebook on my wall when I least expect it! ha). My friends who reach out to me in little ways, the extra effort, the trust, the laughter.....the "sighs."

Thank you for the love.......

More by this Author

Comments 18 comments

MG ZONE profile image

MG ZONE 5 years ago from Wales

Well I don't have a facebook account. But I sure as hell know how to make you sigh!..and gasp... and moan... and I always deliver in person!!! Can I bite you?

SIGH... love u xxx

P.S. Thanks for the flowers Twitch.

GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

Well lovey...leave it to you to "wind this party up!" ha

I can see you found your "biro!!!!.." No need to have a facebook account lovey..

You are mine. Sigh....love u xxx

p.s. glad you liked the flowers......

viveresperando profile image

viveresperando 5 years ago from A Place Where Nothing Is Real

:) v esperando

IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 5 years ago from Hawaii

I love it! Sigh! What is life without love? Love, life, they are connected, intertwined, mixed, no good without the other. We give some, we receive some, however we get it, we savor every inch and sniff of it. You are love G! Lovely hub too. Sigh!

dilipchandra12 profile image

dilipchandra12 5 years ago from India

Love Today and Everyday... :) :) beautifully written...

GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

IV...True. Love is everything!! Thanks for the love! ; G

GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

dilipchandra12...thanks for stopping in and leaving your lovely comment. GPAGE

Seafarer Mama profile image

Seafarer Mama 5 years ago from New England

Hello GPAGE. Thank you for a very eloquent and beautiful hub! Brought back some lovely memories for me. Voted up and beautiful!

GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

Seafarer Mama...Thank you so much for your lovely and kind comment. It is so nice to see you here! Best, GPAGE

prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 5 years ago from malang-indonesia

Beautiful, Gina. Sorry, for late to share my comment related this topic. I can't say anything. You have done a great job as a mother, a great business woman and a writer as well. Personally, I can't repay what my mom gave to me. She is so special. This is the best time for me to say "I love you" to my mom and to all mothers in the world, including you Gina. I really love all stunning pictures above. You deserve to get my "VOTE". God bless you. Cheers....


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

Wow just how special and beautiful this is! I am so pleased that I found you!

howcurecancer profile image

howcurecancer 5 years ago

I hit the useful button for this hub.

GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

prasetio!!!! Thank you for your lovely words! I love that you are so appreciative of your mother! I remember reading a hub that you dedicated to her. What a lovely son you are! AND friend too!! Thank you always for being here to support me. I'm always so happy to see you!!! G

GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

acaetnna..thank you so much for your lovely comment!!!!

GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

HCC...thank you for stopping in!!! GPAGE

Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 5 years ago

Just found your hubs by chance, is 1.33am and there is so much to read and relate to. Seems that Love is what makes you write, and love is what became an image of yourself. Love..love. We can write so many hubs in the name of love. But real love is like a 500 dollars bill, hard to find and hard to let go..!


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

LORD de cross....thank you so much for your very LOVEly comment. Everything you say is true. I'm so happy that you stopped by. I LOVE to write about LOVE! I'm looking forward to reading some of your writing. Best, GPAGE

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article