I Don't Want to Be Your Obligation!

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I don't want to be your obligation

Just another mouth to feed

Nor do I want to be indebted to your good graces

I just simply want to be

I can't always be your source of satisfaction

And a burden is not my desire to be

But neither do I always have your desired reaction

I am not and will never be perfect, can't you see?

It may sound selfish, it may sound wrong

But if I'm not already what you need

Then dammit go write your own song

And let me just be me

……… ♥ ………

In lieu of a video. . .

Since I couldn't find a YouTube video to this song, which is now in my head after writing this, I found a link to listen to it instead.

So. . .if you're interested, it is Reba's "Everything That You Want".


If I don't keep you satisfied

You can't say that I haven't tried

And if I'm not what you want by now

For the life of me I can't see how

I'll ever be

Everything that you want me to be.


https://myspace.com/rebamcentire/music/song/everything-that-you-want-12958-21709

Came across a decent video of the song. . .

© 2014 Shannon

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Comments 32 comments

W1totalk profile image

W1totalk 2 years ago

A reaction and good to know ahead of time. Greta hub.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

Hmm......sound like something inspired this. Very strong and direct poem, clearly gets its message across. Well written. Voted up.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

Hi Shan, yes, you are a very direct person no doubt! No matter how great of a relationship we may be in, there is still only One I know of who can fill that empty hole, and we should not expect our loved ones to be the ones who can do that for sure!

Up and more and sharing.

Blessings,

Faith Reaper


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Yes, W1totalk, probably a good thing to know ahead of time. ;) But, really, who wants to feel like just an obligation to someone else?


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Maybe sometimes I'm a little too direct for my own good, what can I say? Thanks for stopping by, Jodah.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Hi Faith Reaper! I hope all is well with you and yours.

As I said to Jonah, sometimes I am too direct! But, you are right, a person can't fill the empty space of another no matter how close one may be to another. And my affection for others does not take away my affection for one. When someone expects me to react to things in a certain way, do things a certain way, constantly shower affection - basically to always please. . .it just isn't feasible. Especially when those expectations seem to constantly alter. Anyway. . .not sure that made any sense! Thanks for sharing and the votes, though!


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

In my heart I have been touched. They say you are not a surgeon. Then how did you go into my very bowels and heal my heart and soul? In your words you carried me and married me to good. Ah this thing of words, love me and touch me. Never shall I be worthy of your words on print. But I shall do my prison stint just to be touched by your love.

e

( i know a little weird but that poem was awesome and deserved some radical love back at you)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Ha! Eric, you make me smile!


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

Then I am not the empty gong but in some small way good.

You open our hearts and that is the work of angels.


Kathryn Stratford profile image

Kathryn Stratford 2 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

I really like this poem. I have felt this way before in past relationships, so this rings with me in a very deep way.

Thanks for sharing this with us, and have a great day.

~Kathryn


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Eric, you are most certainly not an empty gong. I, however, am not so sure I'm worthy of that compliment. Not sure what to say in response. . .


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Hi Kathryn. Thanks for stopping by. So sorry you have felt that way. It's a frustrating place to be.


Ryem profile image

Ryem 2 years ago from Maryland

I love the strength in the message of this poem. Thanks for sharing it : )


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you, Ryem. So glad you came to read!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 2 years ago from TEXAS

Yes, it’s direct, honest, unambiguous, and real — much like you are, Shan. Well-written, too.

Quite possibly it expresses a ‘place’ many or most of us have been at times, in some way or the other. Obligation is a treacherous reason to be with someone, - whether it’s they who feel it or oneself. It comes with many subsets, including how you’ve described it here in your poem. Yet, however unpleasant it is for the participants on both sides of it, many situations in life seem to involve it in some degree. In a sense, one is born into a kind of obligation to one’s parents, for instance. But whenever that sense of needing to deserve something and having to feel obligated overshadows being able to be oneself or to be seen as oneself, it is painful and usually, disastrous for all concerned in ways ranging from small to large.

I was unable to open the Reba song on her ‘my space’ when I went there. I tried it twice with the same results. Perhaps I can find it elsewhere. But it set me to remembering various songs I have associated with the kind of place your poem depicts. The one I think either may best fit it or will, at least, certainly ring a bell for you is this one, sung by Nina Simone, called “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood”.

http://youtu.be/9ckv6-yhnIY

(Apologies if my comment duplicates. I thought I’d posted it but clicked the song to go hear it and when I came back here, my comment was missing, so I’ve re-written it. If the first one pops up, just delete it. ;) Well, heck. It did pop up when I posted this one. So guess you can take your pick! haha - I can't delete the first one and I like this second one better. But either way. :-)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

I certain hope to be seen as real (as opposed to fake, whatever that means). I don't see much point in pretense, though with poetry or music there is opportunity to vicariously experience various situations and emotions while reading and writing it.

I realized while I was writing that 'obligation' is a word that can have multiple connotations. It can have more a negative context in certain situations than in others. In this case, I obviously (I hope that it is obvious, anyway) mean an unwanted obligation, one that is more of a burden than a duty born of love. Of course even some burdensome obligations are not really all that bothersome if love is the motivation, know what I mean?

I definitely see why you felt I could relate to that song by Nina Simone. I do, and I suspect that you and many others do as well. It is easy to forget that others are only human and to take it personally when anger or frustration is let out. But, that's why people don't belong on pedestals. It isn't often healthy to keep emotions bottled up, but sometimes they are let out in unintended ways.

This is the only video I could find of the song on YouTube of the Reba song. I didn't post it on the hub because it isn't her singing it. It might be hard to find it online to listen to because I don't think it was ever a radio single. Spotify has it, I think, and it is free to use to find just about any song . . .but you have to download the app to use it, I think. Otherwise, here is a link to some random young girl singing the song a capella and she's obviously no Reba: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9itIkrX3SE

As for your comment duplicates, I saved your other one. I just hid it from view for you. ;)


FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

It sounds like difficult circumstances inspired this powerful, direct poem. If life is not treating you well, then I hope you find the strength that you need to make the right choices for you.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

FlourishAnyway, I can't help but smile at your use of 'direct' because it seems I have a theme going on now, at least in the comments of this particular poem. It's rather enlightening to notice a sort of uniform reaction from others.

Life is what I make of it. It may not always treat me "right" and circumstances may not always allow me to change that on a whim, but my overall outlook is what I choose for it to be. Maybe that requires strength, maybe it doesn't - but what other choice is there really? There is certainly not much good in any negative outlooks. Thank you for your well wishes. Much appreciated. :)


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 2 years ago from Wales

If I don't keep you satisfied

You can't say that I haven't tried

And if I'm not what you want by now

For the life of me I can't see how

I'll ever be

Everything that you want me to be.

Love the above words and a great poem Shanmarie.

Eddy.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Those are lyrics to the Reba song, Eddy. They are words that make sense, though, aren't they?


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 2 years ago from Riga, Latvia

A truly wonderful poem. Enjoyed.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you, Gypsy Rose. How nice to see you!


abbaelijah profile image

abbaelijah 2 years ago from Nigeria

Humm!

nice hub. i love the quote

"But if I'm not already what you need

Then dammit go write your own song

And let me just be me".

Thanks for sharing !


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you, abbaelijah. I was feeling a bit agitated, what can I say? haha So glad you stopped by!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 2 years ago from South Africa

I can relate to this poem. I don't want to be seen as a dependant on any level. I am giving my best and if my best is not good enough I want to be left alone.... I can stand on my own 2 feet.... :)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Hi Martie! No, there are certain obligations borne of love that we gladly take on for a friend, spouse, or a loved on, but when it becomes more of a resentment. . . Well, who wants that? To be an imposition is bad enough, but to have to listen to someone make it known I am one. . .then leave me alone an let me stand on my own as I am perfectly capable of doing, and capable of getting back up on my own should I fall. Loving obligations are not really obligations at all, not in that sense anyway.


jhamann profile image

jhamann 19 months ago from Reno NV

I felt the frustration of the narrator of the poem and the strong desire to experience change. Well expressed and moving. Jamie


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 19 months ago from Texas Author

Thank you, Jamie. Strong is a good word for it.


ladyguitarpicker profile image

ladyguitarpicker 19 months ago from 3460NW 50 St Bell, Fl32619

I really understood your poem and believe true love doesn't have resentment. Great expression in your poem. Stella


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 19 months ago from Texas Author

Thanks, Stella!


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 18 months ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Love the uncensored emotion of this poem. We've all had someone in our lives who makes us feel this way. I only hope this was someone you either left behind or set serious limitations on their involvement in your life.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 18 months ago from Texas Author

Isn't it a shame, Kathleen, to feel that way? Love should be about sharing burdens of one another, not resentful about doing so.

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