I Foregive You

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I forgive you, I forgive you

I swear to god I forgive you

so why forty years later I still cry

four fuckin' decades and I still get that

rock in my throat


like secrets stored under my bed

even now when pulled out

still holds its potency

like the seeping of formaldehyde

stings my eyes


you are a crumpled rose of a woman

I tower over you in life and in love

clinging at my leg, smiling that

"we're all good, right" kinda smile

now fearing me and my rejection


your sharp fingernails now stubs

mane of chocolate locks, ashen

once huge brown eyes protrude fish like

you still got style though

your cane matches your designer bag


I will not cater to your longing to be loved

you have been released of guilt

the ghosts of the treacherous things you've done

buried deep... I think

I swear to god I forgive you


Comments 28 comments

Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Wow can I ever relate to this poem. It is how I envision myself with my step-mother if she were still in my life.

Awesome write!


Field-Of-Flowers profile image

Field-Of-Flowers 5 years ago from Midwest, USA

This is an incredible poem! I too like Just Ask Susan can relate to this with my step-mother. I have forgiven her of all of the abuse she poured out on me. But, that doesn't mean I have to associate with her. No thank you on that one!

Very well done poem! I voted it up and awesome!

Have a great day and God bless! :-)


Binaya.Ghimire 5 years ago

So beautiful. Very few can dare to forgive, you are very brave.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Just Ask Susuan & Field-Of-Flowers, its interesting that we all share this wicked stepmother. I reconciled with mine but the foregiveness didn't "take" as well as I thought it had.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Hi Binaya! I believe we take back our power when we can forgive. Its a selfish thing I do when I forgive. :)


graceomalley profile image

graceomalley 5 years ago

Powerful poem. Last line very effective.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thank you graceomalley. I was trying to convince myself.


Claudia Schönfeld 5 years ago

a raw and honest poem....i always found that i myself benefit most when i manage to forgive others because not forgiving makes us bitter and ruins our lives. forgiveness is like closing one door and opening another....but i know that it's easier said than done...so thanks for the reminder..


stestifie profile image

stestifie 5 years ago from Sin City

I am usually a very good forgiver, but your poem made me glad to be a forgiver. Awesome hub and voted up!


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks Claudia. Yeah this one was written in the height of the emotion.

Hi stestifie. Thanks for the great comment!


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 5 years ago from United States

Powerful poem, driven by vivid images that hint at the magnitude of the need for forgiveness.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thank you Tom. I thought I had, but I overestimated myself I guess.


fatgrammy profile image

fatgrammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

I loved this, it reminded me of many reason to forgive. Very hard to do. Awesome!


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thank you fatgrammy. Practice makes perfect.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

To err is human, to forgive divine. “Randy Divine”, has a nice ring to it.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

When I was in my first year in High school (junior high for US), mom gave a singing teddy for my bday. My best friend asked to borrow it and I never saw teddy again.

Do you think teddy has forgiven me?


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Hey McB! I actually like that a lot :D

Perhaps Cardisa, the other girl needed him more?


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

hmm this is powerful stuff here, very descriptive and meaningful. forgiveness is everything. how can we expect others to forgive us, if we cant forgive them, or even forgive ourselves? Life is too short to hold grudges and anger in your heart, but to be angry at someone even after forgiving them is acceptable. you may have forgiven them but your anger still needs time to vent and get over it, its more your still angry at what they DID rather than at the person.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

You are wise beyond your years Nikki! By the time you're my age you will be a sage. :)


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

Emotionally juicy stuff here, but also image-evoking. I pictured a stubborn old woman with a child clinging to her legs, wanting her attention but being snubbed. As brutally honest as life itself...


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

It's a rainy Tuesday morning and I felt like hearing a little spoken poetry so I dropped in. Always fun, despite the fact that this poem is quite serious and wrenching. The line "I forgive you" reminds me of the John Waitte song: "I ain't missin you at all / Since you've been gone / I ain't missin you" -- since both you and John aren't being exactly honest with us.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Oh Doug how did I miss the earlier comment? Sorry. I was only fooling myself believing I had forgiven her two decades ago. Perhaps forgiveness must be re-upped yearly. I have lots of fun stuff to listen to Doug you don't have to read the darker stuff. Look up "Lust" in my soundcloud, its not so serious. :)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota

This is very moving Randy- I think most of us has someone in our life that makes this poem come to life. I am glad you are able to forgive because it will help you stay healthy. It doesn't mean you have to forget-Forgetting and being in denial about it, would be unhealthy. Right on girl~


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 4 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks MT! This woman was scripted as the protagonist in my life for sure. Its a balance I'm finding between love, forgiveness and distance.


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago

Randy , There is so much power in this write ....awesome . And awe inspiring !


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 4 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Hello old friend! Thanks for the sweet comment.


sonison profile image

sonison 4 years ago from Heaven 7

Great work


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 4 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thank you sir.

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