I Have My Fathers Eyes

Little Girls Love Their Daddy's

I am glad you are my dad.
I am glad you are my dad.
You never let my head go under the water.
You never let my head go under the water.
Even I know, I sometimes deserved to be shipped off...Thanks for never doing so
Even I know, I sometimes deserved to be shipped off...Thanks for never doing so
I know now, it wasn't me against the world- you always had my corner.
I know now, it wasn't me against the world- you always had my corner.
Even when I crashed- You were there to pull me out of the wreckage.
Even when I crashed- You were there to pull me out of the wreckage.

I would not be who I am...


In the eyes of a little girl,

There is nothing more frightening than being lost in this world.

Father's teach their daughter's to be strong

And show them the difference between what is right and what is wrong.


Without my father, I would not be me.

And although we haven’t always gotten along,

Because of his teachings I have learned how to stand strong.

He hasn’t always done, or said the right things.

But just like being a child, being a parent comes without instructions and a warranty.


Yesterday I learned some news that took my breath away.

My father has prostate cancer and I am lost with what to think or what to say.

I have my father’s eyes, and he has taught me how to see.

When the world tells me I can’t do something- he showed me how to become me.


Although my life has been touched by death before

This is a different pain, which I must endure.

I regret each moment that I have let pass,

In which I didn’t stop to think-these moments won’t last.


The mistakes he’s made are forgiven; they were forgiven many years ago.

I realize his frustrations when he looked at me and said, "I just don’t know".

I have broken my dad’s heart and he said he would let me do it again.

Because that’s what dad’s do when they see that their little girls are lost or frightened.


He told me once; it’s not my job to keep you from making mistakes,

It’s my job to pick you up and help you fix what breaks.

He said I never listen when he has told me no,

And sometimes even when he shouldn’t the only choice he had was to let me go...

And even though I never understood why he was always so tough,

I now know he pushed me, to make me realize all that I am capable of.


I have my father’s eyes-and he has taught me how to see.

I would not be who I am if he didn’t believe in me.

He hasn’t always said nor done the right things.

But he is my father and I fear the day when he leaves me.



-For my father, I love you. Thanks you so much for everything you have taught me, through much of my struggles. Thank you for always scaring away the Boogie Man and The Monsters that I swore were in my closet and under the bed. Thank you for sharing with me your experiences and telling me about Grandpa. Thank you for showing me Photography and letting me mess up your darkroom when I was in High School, and thank you for staying up late with me and talking to me about life, love and the mistakes people make-that we don't have to understand- to be able to forgive. I hope that I can teach my children half as much as you have shown me. I do not blame you nor do I still harvest anger for words spoken in the past. Now that I am a mother, I have come to realize that raising children isn't easy, and you and mom raised five. I know that you have always loved me and I will love you, always.

On Tuesday March 9, 2010, I learned that my grandmother has brain cancer. On March 11, 2010, I learned that my father has prostate cancer. It is Friday March 12, and I wish I was still naïve and didn’t learn so much within those 72 hours.

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Comments 46 comments

Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 6 years ago from Houston, Texas

Best of wishes to you, your grandmother and your dad as you all go through this next stage of life. Keep them close and hug them tight.

I just lost my last remaining immediate family member (my mother) in January. My Dad died many years ago...and like yours...he was strong and always looked out for us. I miss them terribly. Both of my brothers have also passed on to the next life.

I also have my father's eyes...the same color...and like you, can see the values taught through them. Both of my parents taught good, upstanding values.

Poignant hub! Bless you and yours!


lmmartin profile image

lmmartin 6 years ago from Alberta and Florida

Life can be so cruel, especially when we are forced to face the mortality of our parents, grandparents and ourselves. May God give you strength for the days ahead.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Peggy W and Immartin,

Thank you both for your comments and for your thoughts. Life can surely throw some curve balls when you are not looking and expecting. Thanks again :)

hc


ralwus 6 years ago

My thoughts and prayers are with you honey. yes, I can see you have your father's eyes, of wisdom. You were a cute kid. Bless you and your loved ones always. CC


Putz Ballard profile image

Putz Ballard 6 years ago

Great tribute to your father. He has taught you well and my thoughts and prayers are with you.


Veronica Allen profile image

Veronica Allen 6 years ago from Georgia

H.C. you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I just hope that the fact that there are so many that are concerned and who geniunely care will help you cope. You know how to reach him if you need a shoulder to lean on or a listening ear. While I may not always know the right thing to say, please know that I care.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Ralwus, Thanks for your thoughts- I have many of my dads personality traits, which is why he and I tended to clash so much through the years... Two very head strong-determined people. :)

Putz Ballard,

Thank you as well for taking the time to read and comment. He has taught me well.

Veronica,

Thanks for the shoulder. :) and for caring. It means a lot.

HC


April Van Loan 6 years ago

I think this is beautiful. Parent/child relationships are almost always complicated but your article shows that the love's always there, even if it's somehow hard to find. I'm sure your dad will love reading your words about how he's impacted your life.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Hi April :) Thanks for reading and commenting. You are one of the few people that actually know me as well as know my family pretty well, so you know how my relationship with him has changed over the years-so thanks for letting me know what you think, I really appreciate it :)

hc


Ken R. Abell profile image

Ken R. Abell 6 years ago from ON THE ROAD

HC - Thank you for sharing from your heart. Your honesty is riveting. My prayer for you & your family in these difficult days is simple: May the God of all grace, the One who created the universe out of nothingness, hold you close & grant you peace & strength. Blessings & encouragement to you.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK

You have knocked me over. No sentiment, irrespective of how deeply it is felt, can be expressed is this inimitable way without ingrained, unique talent.

Your words have touched me deeply because I am a father and that is to be expected. But they have also touched me as someone who likes literature and who has read thousands of books.

I am sorry for your pain, but I am glad that it has found such a way to expressed itself. Your father will know that his life was not wasted, when he reads this. Well done.


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago

H.C. - Your poem is brilliantly honest and spoken from the heart. I can hear your heart wrenching pain in your words. Your recollections are beautiful memories that will always be there. You are fortunate to have such beautiful pictures of you with your dad.

I can't imagine receiving such bad news like this two days apart. Thank you for reaching out and sharing in this difficult time. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs and white light,

Sage


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Ken,

Thank you for reading and commenting on my poem for my father. Although our relationship had been rocky for awhile, the past few years have been blessed. I wish I would have grown up-and he would have opened up a long time ago-but I am glad that I have been able to get to know him better and come to respect and admire him more from our talks together. With Gods grace-I pray that every daughter knows her father the way I have come to know mine.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

De Greek, Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. I hope that you are right, and my father enjoys this poem, and knows that I love him very much. I have never given my father a poem or any of my writing before, but I cant imagine buying him a generic card with someone else's thought and words (it wont be as real). Thank you again

HC


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Sage,

Your comment is very kind, I appreciate your prayers and thoughts. Although I have a collection of great memories, happy thoughts and uplifting conversations with my father, the mere thought of not having hundreds more is gut wrenching. I suppose it is human to not be satisfied with memories, because they are not everything-because they are not the real thing right here and right now.

Although the news of my grandmother was heart breaking- I realize that she is 85 years old and would not live forever. As silly as it sounds-I have never really considered not having years more with my parents and cant imagine them not being there-if nothing else to hug me, and tell me everything will be okay. Not sure what I will do without that. I feel as if my thoughts are somewhat childish, being that I am a grown woman with a family of my own.

Anyways, thanks again for your thoughts and leaving such a nice comment.

hc


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

HC, thanks for sharing this. You have my sympathies and best wishes for your father and your grandmother. What a shock this week has been for you.

My parents are still around--my father is 90 and my mother is 81. I know they are closer to the end of their journey than the beginning, and sometimes it is hard for me to enjoy each moment with them for exactly that reason, but I try to.

Something you said that touches my heart is that you clashed when you were younger, but now you can forgive and be closer. The mistakes are forgiven. I have a half-sister who clashed with my father when she was young. My father reached out to her in reconcilliation repeatedly over the years, but she could never get passed her pain. She hasn't seen my father in over 20 years because of that pain.

I am glad you are able to see things in a way my half-sister could not.

Mike


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Mike,

Thank you for commenting. Maybe someday your half sister will be able to see around the past and reconnect with your father. It makes for a happier life and more positive outlook. Holding grudges is cause of too much pain. Life is short as it is- why be mad about things that you can not change?

Thanks again for your thoughts and I hope you do enjoy the moments that you are able to spend with your family :)

hc


hypnodude profile image

hypnodude 6 years ago from Italy

What a wonderful example of love. It seems that you've learned a lot from your father, this hub is really special. I'm very sorry for your family's problem. I guess your father is pretty proud of you; thanks for this beautiful hub, I'll bookmark and stumble it, and obviously is rated up. Really a heart touching hub.


Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 6 years ago from Upstate New York

I'm very sorry for your father and grandmother, and wish you and yours all the best. This was a very beautiful and loving tribute.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

hypnodude,

Thank you for your kind words and for stumbling and rating this up. I hope my dad is proud of me- I will be giving him this tomorrow and am kind of nervous, hopefully he will appreciate it :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Paradise7,

Thank you for your comment, and compliment- I appreciate you saying so :)

hc


Richieb799 profile image

Richieb799 6 years ago from Cardiff, Wales UK

I don't see eye to eye with my dad, Ive been a bit of a b***ch alot of the time, but I had to be who I want to be.. and he's a great dad, I just want to make him proud being who I am instead of what he wants me to be..I can't be someone else.. i worry incase anything happens to him and we haven't settled our differences by then :-/

I love your poem, it shows great respect


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Thanks Richie,

You really should try and come to terms with the differences between you and your father. It would be a shame if you never had a chance to settle things and never really told him what you feel. Thanks for commenting and reading


Ben Zoltak profile image

Ben Zoltak 6 years ago from Lake Mills, Jefferson County, Wisconsin USA

All my best H.C. for your Father and Grandmother, you did your Dad justice in your poem and thanks. I'm not a big praying kind of guy, but I will say a few words to the Great Spirit for you and your family. Chin up, every day alive is still a blessing, thanks for the reminder for the rest of us.

Ben


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Thanks Ben, You are very kind. I hope everyone comes to appreciate the ones that they love and are able to let go of what does not matter before it is too late to say I am sorry or I love you...


nadiaazhar profile image

nadiaazhar 6 years ago from kuwait

H.C, sorry to hear about your grandma and dad,i know it's really a tough time for you and your family,May GOD be with you and shower his blessings n mercy.

I always have been an obedient child, always accepted all the wrong or right decisions that my parents made for me,but now i've asked them to let me live the life that i want to live and they have no objection.i dont regret for any of the bad choices that had been made for me,because i think they were just meant to happen.Maybe the tough time that i have faced has given me an urge to be a better person.I think one should have children if he or she is capable of giving good to his/her offsprings,I often see kids suffering because their parents are not happy with their lives.

All my prayers are with you and your family.Your poem has touched me n Do tell me about your dad's reaction to this poem.

Best Regards,Nadia


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Thank you Nadia for your comment. My father really enjoyed the poem. He teared up while reading it :) He said that he is glad that I have been able to see through all of the things I have been through in life to become such a well rounded woman with such a big heart. He said that he is glad that he had a little something to do with who I have become, and that he is sorry that for so many years he did not understand me-he always wanted to and has always been proud of me-just never knew how to say it to me/ but often says it to others.

He told me that out of all my siblings- I am the one he knows he doesn't have to worry about, because I have always proven that I can make it-even when the odds are against me. That even though I sometimes doubt my strength-he doesn't, and there is absolutely nothing that this world can throw at me that will ever break me-because even as a little girl, I have always seen the light at the end of a dark road, and as I travel through the darkness, I always make the effort and time to help anyone and everyone that I come in contact with by showing them that it isn't the world that determines who you are it is the way you view the world that does. He said that he admires my kindness, compassion and love for others, and that I can teach many about what caring truly is-because I care without wanting or needing anything in return.

This conversation was by far the most touching conversation my dad and I have ever had- he has never told me so many nice things about how he views me. I am glad that I have a father that views me as someone who possesses so much strength and compassion. Hearing such things from a parent- is the best compliment any child (even when an adult) can receive.

Thanks for reading and for commenting :)

hc


pinkhawk profile image

pinkhawk 6 years ago from Pearl of the Orient

awesome..a very touching piece! :)...thank you for sharing! :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

pinkhawk,

Thanks for reading and commenting. Your compliment means a great deal :)

hc


nadiaazhar profile image

nadiaazhar 6 years ago from kuwait

so nice to hear that you and your dad had a heart to heart talk, i don't know why we take a life long journey to express our inner feelings. but that's so good that your dad strongly belive in you and your abilities.i'm so happy for you:) May GOD be with you and bless you with all the happiness and peace.

Best Regards,Nadia


Mikel G Roberts profile image

Mikel G Roberts 6 years ago from The Heartland

It sounds to me like you have your Father's Heart.

Mikel


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Nadia,

Thanks for coming back-yes it was a great talk-that I am thankful we shared

Mikel,

Thanks for stopping by and reading my poem. I think I do, I also have his temper and drive...But that is for another poem and another time :)


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

He told me once; it’s not my job to keep you from making mistakes,

It’s my job to pick you up and help you fix what breaks.

that's sweet HC< I remember the good old days now, take care, maita


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

prettydarkhorse,

Thanks for reading and commenting. I am glad that so many people decided to read and leave their comments, it always helps to know that something is relatable.

HC


Moulik Mistry profile image

Moulik Mistry 6 years ago from Burdwan, West Bengal, India

Sure, you are your dad's and it is your lovely tribute, very well done...


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Thanks Moulik Mistry- for taking the time to read this and for commenting :)


Cagsil profile image

Cagsil 6 years ago from USA or America

Hey H.C., my dad had a lot to do with who I am too. He was my teacher too. I did love him for everything shared with me. I am also a much stronger person. I have my own hub dedicated to my dad. I didn't make it a poem, but more less a true story about my life. I'm glad you shared your thoughts of your dad, just as much as I am to learn about your feelings for him. Thank you so much. :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Hi Cagsil-Thanks for the comment. I believe that if each of us really sat down and thought about the people in our lives-we would appreciate more the people that have been there and gotten us through the desperate times we encounter. It took me growing up and experiencing life before I really appreciated my father and mother, and all that they have done and all that they tried to do for me when I didn't want their help with anything. Sure they have made mistakes, but I am not an angel either-mistakes are all forgiven and replaced with mutual respect-better understanding and great appreciation for our differences. Thanks again for the comment :)


ThoughtfulSpot profile image

ThoughtfulSpot 6 years ago from PA

An absolutely beautiful tribute H.C. The respect and love you have for your father shine through. I wish you and your family the best that can be in these trying times.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

thank yo so much for your kind words- they mean a lot... thanks for reading and commenting


lemmyisgod 6 years ago

H.C.

I too love my father - there are many similarities in your poem to the observations I make about my own father on one of my hubs. Like you I only grew up when I understood him and my realtionship to him. A very enjoyable hub.

Thanks

Mike


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Mike,

Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to read this hub. I think that many of us don't fully embrace our loved ones until we take the time to try and understand where they were coming from and why they took the stand that they did during our lives and development. I am glad that you enjoyed this hub, thanks again for your comment


SummerSteward profile image

SummerSteward 6 years ago from Duluth MN

HC, this brought on tears, as you know I just lost my father. I pray you spend every moment with him you can, create memories, remember memories, and soak up all the love and lessons you can. Stay strong and embrace. My heart goes out to you. Lovely poem.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Summer, I can only imagine your heart ache-I wasn't sure if I wanted you to read this or not. I am glad that you enjoyed it, and thank you for your words of encouragement.

Stay Positive with not forgetting the good memories you have.


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

I lost my daddy when I was 8 years old, and H.C., I know the importance of that relationship-since I didn't have it. But I do remember his love and his lap!

The memories will always remain.

Lovely hub.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Lorlie6,

thanks hun for your support- I am so sorry for the loss you have suffered. I suppose that memories that are dear to us dont fade and to remember means that we will never forget what they meant to us and all we pulled from their love.

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