I Remember Why I'm Here
Each new day my feet hit the floor,
each weary hour I'm reminding myself
just what I'm doing all of this for.
Fighting fatigue and mental fog
that notorious heart killing stress
problems hang in my mind like smog
My feet guide me on the balance beam
somehow I'm still moving forward
slowly stepping toward my dreams.
Pushing on each side, pessimism of the future
stresses of today, nightmares of my past,
that finally I have sutured.
At least, I fucking hope.
Some days I feel so much despair,
That smog of stress leaves me winded
I just don't think, I will ever get there.
Haunting me, anxiety and fear
that I will just be a failure,
that I will always be stuck here
Then, I see his face, look to me for love
with pure, unconditional affection
the one sure thing that I can be proud of.
A bright light burns through the haze
It beams from his raw, happy smile
And lights up the worst of my days.
I remember why I'm here
I'm a role model to a brand new human being
for the past two wonderful years now
I've been explaining everything that he is seeing
I've taught him to sleep, eat, talk, and walk
and now HE, this person, is emerging
This little guy has no clue that he is my rock.
I must be on guard for him, must be my best
I must be on top of my game,
even when all I feel is stressed.
I must keep focused, stay on track
I must forget all my past mistakes,
Forgive myself, for there is no going back.
I will do everything to preserve his smile
Even if I have to walk to hell and back
barefoot, every single mile.
I work my hours and collect my checks
I go home and cook dinner
put him to bed and then study for tests
Its a life I had never envisioned,
but I'm proud of what I'm doing,
I let out part of me that had been imprisoned.
A motivated person with insatiable dreams
buried by those damn fears and anxieties,
Emerged when I first heard those newborn screams.
I'm not sure I was truly alive before this.