I STILL LOOK FOR YOU - PART 14

I STILL LOOK FOR YOU – PART 14

Bill stepped away from her, slid the knife under the desk and opened the door to the office.“Yes, Officer, how can I help you?” Lynn slid past him on legs as weak as a new born lamb’s and saw an officer motioning for her to come to the squad car.

“He has a knife – under – it’s under the desk – it’s on the floor.” She deposited her body on the curb by the squad car, drawing her legs up to her chin, her arms encircling them and rocked gently back and forth. A second squad car sped up the drive and two more officers went toward the office. She lifted her head slightly when she heard Bill’s easy laughter float across the almost dawn air, wondering how he could weave in and out of drunkenness so easily. A blanket, stiff and harsh to her bruised skin went around her and a hand encircled her arm, helping her to a standing position and then into the back of the squad car.

“NO, you can’t arrest me I didn’t ….,Lynn’s thoughts cleared enough to know her children were alone, or at least without her, but not enough to grasp fully, the sight of Bill, handcuffed behind his back, being led toward the other car. An ambulance had pulled up now with lights and siren screaming a wake up call to any of the tenants who had managed to escape the early show. “No, OUCH - DAMNIT! No I don’t want to go to the hospital. The attendant was cleaning a cut above her eye. My children, I don’t know where they are.”

“We’re here Mom”, Traci was pushing her way through the ambulance crew. Through the break Lynn could see Tim, dressed in pajamas and coat, staring down at the ground and looking like he wished he could sink right down into it. Jake was beside him speaking to an officer and pointing in the direction of Bobby’s apartment miming a kick to the door and a fist to his face. It was his shoulder, Lynn thought, he broke it in with his shoulder. She had to call maintenance to get the door fixed right away. Did Traci have her coat on? Yes, yes she was dressed and had on her coat too. “No, I said I can’t go to the hospital – yes x-ray my ribs, all right I will later. Yes, thank you. No officer, yes sir – but can you just come to my apartment and I can tell you. I am trying to cooperate, YES I want to press charges I am just trying to”, she lowered her voice, “get this circus out of the parking lot and get my kids in where it’s warm.” She told him the apartment number and refused Jake’s offer to drive them all over to the apartment, “The kids, would you drive the kids please Jake and I’ll be right there.” It was still hard for her to tell what she was saying out loud and what was running loose in her head. Did someone lock the office? “Whisper and stare at me you sons-a bitches and I’ll evict all of you!” Lynn really hoped she hadn’t said that out loud but a few of them scattered like cockroaches startled back to their nest by a bright light.

The officers were waiting outside of her apartment, one shining a flashlight on the door casing. “This door doesn’t look damaged, did you let him in?” Is he your boyfriend? Have you been drinking?”

Lynn walked past them into her apartment picking up things from the floor that had fallen or dropped. Wordless, she filled the pot with water, spooned two heaping scoops into the filter and turned on the coffeepot. She pulled a jacket from the hall closet and handed the wool blanket to one of the officers.

She had noted Jake’s soft voice and the answers of her children and thanked God someone was there to watch over them while she recounted what had started with a key inserted into the lock of her apartment, still smelling of Christmas baking and the echo of a family, laughing together at Freddie The Freeloader. She wondered if Bill could smell the freedom when he opened the door hours before and if it added to his rage.

Comments 18 comments

SomewayOuttaHere profile image

SomewayOuttaHere 6 years ago from TheGreatGigInTheSky

...hmmmmm....no 'victims of violence support team' around then was there....my dad was a cop....he dealt with a lot of intense domestic violence situations...i recall making sense of some of the stories when i got older....and now in the work i do, i'm surrounded by domestic violence stories and the victims....the fallout, families trying to pick up the pieces, the impact on children, etc etc

another big big hug...SOH


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 6 years ago from On the edge Author

Nope, unless you had family or friends that had stuck with you through the crap. There were shrinks but that would come later. I used to cry because I had no father (absent while there and gone when I was young)but then I've spent many more years crying because my children did have one.

Its all good - don't mean nothin'


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 6 years ago from On the edge Author

BTW - I do have happy hubs to write. I may have to take a break here pretty soon just so everyone knows how rich my life is now and how interesting the journey!


Scarlett My Dear profile image

Scarlett My Dear 6 years ago from Missouri

~She wondered if Bill could smell the freedom when he opened the door hours before and if it added to his rage~

These last words sting. Thank you for sharing your story, Pooh. I do hope it feels good to be heard, good to purge the sickness he so willingly shared.

I would love to see a happy ending, where you no longer look for him. ~Love to you. Scarlett


ralwus 6 years ago

I hope he was locked up for a time and then was able to get real help and guidance. Sorry you had to deal with this shyt.


LaurieDawn profile image

LaurieDawn 6 years ago

You are amazing and I am glad that you are sharing your story with us. I hope that it helps to purge it out here, and rid yourself of some of the pain, letting it spill out into this land. You are such a brave woman.

Blessings and hugs Sweet Lady!

Laurie


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 6 years ago from On the edge Author

Laurie & Scarlett, there wasn't a whole lot of brave to it once you set foot outside and smell the clean air and the arm of a friend, there is nothing that makes you want to go back. I think there's a hint of the addicts "hitting bottom" in there too for some women or men subjected to Domestic Abuse. You learn how to function in turmoil and normal doesn't feel right for a long time.

Charlie, He was and didn't but he lives in AZ and I live in IA so as long as he doesn't come into my territory I won't have to shoot him. I replaced that gun a long time ago with a larger caliber. I learned you don't aim unless you intend to shoot and you don't use a pea shooter on a rhino. I forgave him for what he did to me a while ago because that's what God says we have to do and I need plenty of my own forgiving from Him. But for other things he did, God and I are still discussing that.


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 5 years ago

Your words, they are so powerful, they reach a person's soul and then cause the deepest pain ever imagined. We are with you and I am very glad that your life is better now.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge Author

Thanks so much Q, it is much better!


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

This was a tough chapter to read. You are so strong and I am so glad to know you are well and happy in your life today. I despise what this man did to you and your children.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge Author

So do I, MT, so do I ... and there are remnants that linger still today.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 5 years ago from Minnetonka, MN

Poohgranma

I feel so close to you. I love you my friend. One of the pieces of this hub that spoke so clearly was the CHAOS. I am so glad you and I have peace in our lives now.

You need this to be published. You have a gift and it could help help so many women.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge Author

Yes, constant. And when your surroundings are not in chaos, you mind is still. Mine finally broke and stayed that way.

You flatter me. I don't know if I could get things organized enough to publish.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 5 years ago from Minnetonka, MN

Poohgramna

Your so humble. Your gift is to be shared. I am still breathless.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge Author

You know it's odd, I'm one of your followers but I've never seen most of your hubs and I don't remember getting emails that you had published new ones. I didn't know for instance that you work with a violence group and teach all aspects of it. Now THAT is pulling good out of what was meant for evil. My hat is off to you!!!


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 5 years ago from Minnetonka, MN

Poohgranma,

I have now put your link on my violence hub poem. Please feel free to put my link on your last part 14


stars439 profile image

stars439 4 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

Dear Phoenix : Wonderful well writen hub. Powerful and unique. God Bless You Dear Heart.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 4 years ago from On the edge Author

Thanks stars, just some old memories now that can no longer do any damage to me. It took many years to deal with the memories and then dump them, but I finally accomplished it!

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