I Still Look For You – Part 15

`She had found an Ace wrap and Traci helped her put it around her wrist but she knew she would have to go into the doctor on Monday. She showered, put on sweatpants and a sweatshirt needing the comfort and warmth of them. Looking in the mirror, a face swollen from the cut above the left eye and bruising that make-up was not going to conceal, stared back at her. The face twisted in disgust at a tear that started to form and she brushed it away and combed through her hair finding a hidden spot that hurt like Hell. The kick to her face and bouncing down the stairs must be causing most of the pain other than the punch to her side. She only had to draw one deep breath to know not to attempt that again. Her thoughts took a couple of hours to clear and Traci had needed to discuss what happened again and again to help herself resolve the matter in some form or fashion. Lynn would have preferred to put it out of her mind, at least for a while, but she knew it was important for her daughter to get this out so she listened and tried to be supportive, thanking her repeatedly for her bravery and help. Tim listened to the first recounting, hanging back and refusing an offer to sit by her and went to his room where he stayed until a friend came over with the offer of playing at his apartment. Traci finally exhausted her vocabulary to express her fear and anger then wanted to know if her step-father was in jail, for how long and would she have to testify? Lynn explained that she would find out more on Monday but that she had called and found out the charges were two counts of Burglary, Assault and one of Domestic Abuse. She knew it was enough to keep her from looking over her shoulder for awhile. Bail had been denied.

Bobby came alone to return her keys late that afternoon. Lynn was laying on the sofa with an ice pack on her side and one on her face. Expecting to be held gently and comforted she was stunned at his remark that the door of his apartment had been fixed but looked like shit. He also said that Jake’s eye was completely black now and he would probably lose hours at work unless he could come up with a satisfactory answer for the boss who wouldn’t want him on the sales floor looking like that.

“Have Jake tell them he was in a car accident”, Lynn offered. “I’ll have Maintenance look at your door again on Monday, they did a quick fix to secure it, I’m sure they aren’t done.” He told her to take care and left.

That was when the tears flowed, when the emotional hurt far outweighed the physical. Did he think she was to blame for this? Why was his tone so reserved and where was the compassion and caring he usually showed toward her? Of course he’d be angry. His friend, who had no involvement, was attacked, his home invaded by a lunatic … but she and her children had been terrorized and suffered too.

Kurt showed up early the next day and sat at her feet as she lay on the sofa. She was hurting more today than yesterday, in places she never expected to hurt. He refused Tim’s offer to play video games and told Traci to leave her Mother alone when she asked for breakfast.

“Pour yourself a damned bowl of cereal, all right?” Kurt was a bull dog, her protector and confidant. The protecting was sweet, if a bit harsh, but what he confided explained a lot. He might be going to live with his Mom he told her, clear across the country, out West. Chris, his Mom and her boyfriend, Bobby, Kurt and a mess of social workers and counselors held a Family Meeting while they were visiting. It was looking like the consensus was a two parent home, no matter how unproven, was favored over Kurt living with his brother alone. None of the improvement he’d shown in school, not the fact that Bobby had been steadily employed and provided all that Kurt needed, including discipline, seemed to outweigh the Mother’s appeal for her son’s placement. There had been more social workers than you could count coming and going he complained and there were more coming next week. But Bobby had it figured out. Kurt grinned when he told her he knew why Renee’s Mom had come up a while back and she and Bobby went off together. She had co-signed at a jewelry store and Bobby had bought an engagement ring and was going to ask Renee to marry him on Christmas Eve. This was a surprise he warned her and she wasn’t to tell anyone. Yeah, Bobby was a pain in his butt, but sometimes he could be pretty smart. That would make a two parent home on this end too and the social workers would have to let him stay right where he was!

“Here,” he tried to fluff up her pillow a bit, “you’d better take a nap. You don’t look so hot and I’m not going anywhere. Where’s that remote?”

Comments 14 comments

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ralwus 6 years ago

I'm not too sure about this Bobby feller. Gee, where is everyone tonight? Thank god for Kurt.

Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 6 years ago from On the edge Author

I was just thinking the same thing - about where is everybody!

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ralwus 6 years ago

Must be shopping. Payday?

Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 6 years ago from On the edge Author

Not for us...LOL Comes once a month and it had better last. I remember when shopping was my favorite "sport." Now it makes me cringe. I just said to an old guy in the grocery store about a month ago that there are just too many brands and choices - thinking he's understand being about in his eighties - he just looked at me like I was a nut and kept searching...LOL

SomewayOuttaHere profile image

SomewayOuttaHere 6 years ago from TheGreatGigInTheSky

...guess my take on Bobby is that he was going to do whatever he could to be able to take care of his bro?...and not showing any emotion or displaying affection, i'll give him the benefit of the doubt - had his own problems too that appeared at the same time...no excuse for him tho; but he was a young one...his focus was his bro i guess....he can't multi-task? (ha ha) j/k...

Wish it was payday yesterday and i was out shopping for motorcycle parts...ha ha..j/k......spent most of the afternoon preparing a nice dinner for family and friends to celebrate my good friend's passing.

Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 6 years ago from On the edge Author

I think you've nailed it SOH because he was going to be floating around without a family without Kurt and he knew what living with his Mom had done to him. I never have figured out the lack of compassion which he did eventually show but maybe he was plain scared about what could have happened to him and Kurt if they had been home - don't know.

I had read about your friend's passing and so admire the way all of you are honoring her life. A big hug sent your way!

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Scarlett My Dear 6 years ago from Missouri

Pooh, I can't say I was shocked about Kurt, but I am disappointed the way he seemed to handle it, young or not.

Shell shocked comes to mind, the way you must have been feeling. So much trauma to have this 'one good thing' to disappear when you could have really used the support.

Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 6 years ago from On the edge Author

Yes, Bobby could have provided me with some much needed comfort and support right at that moment - from my point of view, but from his, with social workers coming that next week and a split door frame and all that trouble hanging around, well it threatened his hopes to hold on to Kurt.

Of course what hit me harder than Bill ever could have was the news about the engagement ring and upcoming proposal. He was becoming, more and more, a walking contradiction. Maybe he was all along but in comparison to what I was used to, he had seemed to be the genuine article.

Ah - we all fall short - especially when we have so many needy people around us.

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Scarlett My Dear 6 years ago from Missouri

*Big smile* Must have had 'Kurt' on the brain. Bobby is of course who I was referring to.

~Ah - we all fall short - especially when we have so many needy people around us.~ Very wise, pooh.

QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 6 years ago


stars439 profile image

stars439 6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

Oh my goodness. I need to go back and read some parts again. Did someone beat up poor Lynn ? If this is the case then someone needs a real good education by some really good teachers. God Bless You Dear Heart.

Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 6 years ago from On the edge Author

Thank-you for reading, stars. It is always an honor to have you stop by!

Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

Oh wow pooh-You must have felt so abandoned by Bobby. He isn't compassionate after your violent attack and beating and then you hear through Kurt that he's got an engagement ring for Renee. I wonder if this was just so he could get custody. I will coninue to read this amazing memoir tomorrow. Your my hero, my strong friend. HUGS HUGS and more HUGS....

Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge Author

Yes, get some sleep now and tell your sis to do the same ... she says she doesn't want to stop reading and she's only on part 2 or 3...lol You two sure know how to make a lady feel special. I'm so glad I wrote this.

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