I Tried To Warn You

 

I am being called a female devil

‘Cause my thoughts are far beyond your level

My intentions are not filled with lies

Watching your pride as it sit ‘n cries

 

You pushed me up against a wall

Kicking and screaming I made this call

I warned you about this day

I told you no more games I’d play

 

It isn’t about you and me

It’s out of your hands can’t you see

If only you would have listened to me

Handcuffs wouldn’t have been placed like a detainee

 

Witnesses all around watching us

3 patrol cars and 6 suited men fuss

A scene I did not want to cause

I left you dazed and paused

 

A situation that you could have prevented

But egotism is all I scented

A feeling of guilt settled on my chest

Never in your life would you have guessed

 

That this day would come and have you distressed

I have said it once too many times I couldn’t have stressed

The many times I’ve giving you

To walk away from all you have put us through

 

I hang my head with sadness to prove a point this way

No longer will I postpone your consequences or delay

The reactions to your actions they just don’t fade away

I wish no longer to sit and watch and stay

 

The most important part is that I hope you now learn

A lesson taught for the sake that a father you return

I only ask that your time is spent and dedicated to them

And given the opportunity for your love to stem

 

Woman are a dime a dozen but a mother

Is a token that will spread its meaning and cover

With this now said I hope you understand

That I only wanted you, for your children to be a man

 

Time will travel and allow all to heal

Only to let you see and how it feels

To miss someone and appreciate their lives

Bea protector not an abuser who causes misery and strife

 

 

bellawritter23(copyright)2011

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Comments 31 comments

The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas

Wow! This is so real because it is... this is the best kind of writing because you brought us into your living room to watch your life unfold... you have much courage; it's amazing how much stress comes with doing the right thing for your family...


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

Poet, thank you I appreciate the comment and outlook on this poem. Yes stress settled but a relief arose and filled the mind and heart!

smiles :)

bella


bbnix profile image

bbnix 5 years ago from Southern California

It's like a cold misty morning. The sun's not yet risen. All is dark and quite. You look down a cobblestone street at a street lamp's distant glow where everything glistens but nothing is there.

You feel a chill at the back of your neck and a heavy heart, for little seems warm, less seems to be strong.

But as you stand there, you feel something in your stomach beyond the endless emptiness, as if something is changing.

You watch as the mist swirls and spins in the distant light, and you watch as a light melody now dances in the air. The mist spins oddly and a dark shape appears in the light - stepping towards you, stepping light, stepping in rhythm, coming closer.

You want to run, to hide, but your frozen, fixed, and you wait.

Slowly the shape steps up to you, and you've stopped breathing. "What has life brought to me, do I cry, do I run - I have no hope, I have no more tears."

But slowly the shape steps up to you, unknown dark eyes meeting yours, "do I cry, do I run" - your mind races, your heart waits, yet all pain has subsided - "do I cry, do I run" .

Seconds seem like hours - but the shape comes closer, you can feel his breath as he leans into you and kisses your cheek, touches you hand, and wraps his arms around you. Time stops, it's been so long since you felt strong arms holding you, enveloping you, lifting all the weight from your shoulders. You feel the tender strength - it flows through you to your toes, your stomach, your shoulders, your neck, and your heart. You feel warm once again, flushed, happy, loved. It's been too long, been too long.

That's how I feel for you, my dearest sweet friend...


vietnamvet68 profile image

vietnamvet68 5 years ago from New York State

Your poem is so heart touching, I can almost feel your pain as you describe the scene.May God Bless you for the courage you have to write your thoughts down.

God Bless


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

No more chances. Brilliant and moving piece of writing. Up and awesome.


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

billy, Thank you. YOu always manage to make things better and easier to think. You always manage to make my heart feel better thank you!!

Viet, Thank you it tugged at my heart to while writing it. I had to push my limits to prove my point my intensions are never to make a human hurt but how can I not when the person has to learn enough is enough. I never wanted to see this day come but it did and I am sorry that it did but hopefully this is a wake up call and reality checked in and approached with force. Thanks Viet for your comment!

smiles :)

bella


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

Pop, No more, I couldn't I tried being nice but I couldn't bare to continue a life of mass destruction for my childrens sake!!

smiles :)

bella


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago

As only You my friend, can say it. Wonderful Piece, so rich and strong...keep it that way! up and Awesome!


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

B., thank you yes stay way up up high in the sky I will fly like a kite :)

smiles

bella


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

You have great courage and always wear your heart on your sleeve. Take care Bella I do hope you're not letting him back into your life again. You will find love else where.


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

Ace, I have found love and can honestly say that I have moved on unfortunately he had to see this side of me and realize he doesn't have any more chances and we are through. I have a man who can love me in all I do with out a doubt. And I am happy with him. My ex is so gone....

smiles :)

bella


bbnix profile image

bbnix 5 years ago from Southern California

We're so proud of our Bella...


Richawriter profile image

Richawriter 5 years ago from On Top of the World

Nice poem Bella, I really enjoyed reading it and getting a glimpse of your experiences and innermost feelings and thoughts. That's why I love poetry so much, it allows you to see into the heart of the person writing it.

You have turned a negative experience into a positive result by writing your book and continuing to produce these great poems. I am inspired to use my own experiences in the same way.

Thanks for that.

Take care. Rich :)


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

Well done Bella, it's not easy is it ? I think that as we have started moving along our road it is alright to stay in the same place for a time but we never ever go back !!

You are a true star Bella and I am honoured to follow you on here.

Take care my friend,

Eiddwen.


Radioguy profile image

Radioguy 5 years ago from Maine

Your poem is a learning lesson for all. I'm deeply moved by your experience.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 5 years ago from United States

This poetry was very moving and I imagine it took a lot of courage to write it. I hope you will never have to see him again so that you and your children can heal.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

Walking away is very difficult, but as time passes you know it was the right thing to do. Reading your comment, i see that you know that. YEA

Great poem.

Hugs


thebluestar profile image

thebluestar 5 years ago from Northern Ireland

you are very brave Bella to wear your heart on your sleeve. Tender hearts bruise easy but with every bruise comes an inner strength and you are a strong lady. Thank you for sharing.


Fossillady profile image

Fossillady 5 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

You're showing your children that it's not okay to abuse another, that it's not okay to take the abuse from another! You are teaching them self respect by example and that's the best way! You did all you could in that situation, let go of any guilt and keep celebrating life my friend!


Truckstop Sally profile image

Truckstop Sally 5 years ago

Your other followers have conveyed so many important messages. You are a rock. Your children will find that solid foundation over time. Hopefully it will help AND heal AND provide a foundation to build upon.


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland

Bravery unfolding in the writing...


samiaali profile image

samiaali 5 years ago

Very well done bellawriter23! Whatever was lacking in the father, I would say that you more than make up for it as a very strong woman and mother. :)


Tankadin profile image

Tankadin 5 years ago

You are obviously a wonderful mother. Happy Mother's Day. :)


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

Hi Bella, it's sad that things have to get that bad, you will come out a stronger person because of it, but why does it have to be this way? Good luck with your life and your writing.


shanaya profile image

shanaya 5 years ago from Living in my Own Dreams:)

I am honoured to follow you on here..

Your HUB is a learning lesson to all of us.

Am glad that you found LOVE again.

:) KEEP SMILING :) GOD BLESS YOU:)


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

You always take off the gloves and let your feelings fly. I commend you for that.


tnderhrt23 profile image

tnderhrt23 5 years ago

bella, doing the right thing is not easy, sometimes...but I am with Fossillady on this one. You are teaching your children one of the most important things they need to know in life, by taking a stand. Hard stuff. I commend you, for being strong and brave, and committed to the well being of yourself and your children. You are a good mom, and a heck of an example and inspiration to us all! This is a strong write and testament to your heart and spirit! I applaud!


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

Rich, I tend to allow others into my life as they were to be living it I set forth a feeling that comes from my core which is my stomach I know others use heart but I use gut lol. I am happy to know that I can touch a few people with what I feel, think, and say. Thank you for the comment!

Eid, No it isn't I find it very hard watching him get handcuffed ripped my heart to shreds but at that moment his heart dropped to I know it did I have never in 11 years had him arrested and by doing so he now knows its beyond personal we are now on a level where its beyond repair. He now knows it and is eating at him. He may deny it but I know that man I know everything about him. Thanks for reading as always!!

Radio, A lesson that states ENOUGH!!!! No woman, man or child should be threatened or feel threatened. It concerns me that many will not make that call and I was guilty of it! Thank you for stopping by.

Pam, It took a lot of strength to write this and swing my words the way I did. For the time being no we will not see him and we will heal and become stronger in faith, Only time can heal and me and our children needed that. As for him I am not sure but I really do hope so!! Thank you again :)

Always, Walking away from dysfunction is not easy staying is always easier. I hope on day he realizes that it wasn’t because I hated him I just needed to rebuild from the ground up for my children and me!! Thank you...

Blue, Scared tissue never heals I can iron out all the creases but if you look closely with a magnifying glass you will find baby wrinkles. I will make it through the rain I know I will I have and I am living proof!! Thank you...

Lady, I did I did and I did!! And I am proud that I did. I have showed them that love is the way not violence. I hope they foster these traits that I am trying to instill. Thank you...

Sally, A rock I must you can't beat water out of a rock. My kids are starting to show change. My boys are very aggressive and angry and they are in their child developing years if I had stood and allowed all the arguing and abuse they would have figured it out to be a normal life. I had to stop it and seek help and guidance I have had my run in life but not them I want them to grow happy and in love. Thank you for your supporting comment as always!!

Ch, I try I must say I try!! Thank you, you are truly a kind soul!!

Sami, that means a great deal I could never replace their father but I will sure stand in place of and keep pushing them forward and supplying and protecting!! Thank you...

Tank, Thank you I hope so they may not see it now because of the age but they will one day!!

Attempted, yes the big question WHY?? I say because it had to happen everything happens for a reason a season or a lifetime. Nothing is coincidence. I find it normal to struggle and achieve goals and stumble and fall. Thank you for the kind wishes and thoughts!!

Shan, Yes a lesson I hope Love is wonderful and yes it has found me once again and at the perfect timing I could not ask for anyone better he is my support!!

Dougy, My gloves my hat my clothes oh wait take that back my shoes my socks lol thank you I try my best!! >_<

Tnder, I do it for them my feelings are no longer affected but I see my children struggling with the demons that have been passed on through our battles as humans it is imperative to demonstrate and facilitate positive traits for them and to dictate discipline and structure for them thank you M I appreciate your thoughts always good to see you within...

smiles all :)

bella


JadedLove 5 years ago

A woman may be, but a Lady is so much more. Some reasons now i feel like calling my mother. So lovely Bella, truly you are a gem.

Johnny Love


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 5 years ago

Do not know what to say except that the poetry is beautiful.


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

Jaded, Woman are misused every day but it is because we allow ourselves to be used. Unfortunate but very true Johnny! Thank you for the kudos and yes please call the moma they are important as to so are you!!

Qud, lol yeah I know not really much to say after everything I said here but I appreciae you and the visits you pay to my hubs its deeply welcomed!!

smiles :)

bella

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