I Will Be My Victim No More


Anxiety and depression, things that defined me,

Falling into an odd comfort with my mental illnesses beside me.

It was easier to say that it’s just too hard,

I just can’t play a hand after I’ve been dealt these cards.

Ducking responsibilities, running from life,

It was easier to pull up the blankets and hide.


Sometimes the sun just seemed way too bright…


Look out the window and then pull down the shades,

Who cares, I’d think, don’t need to go out there anyways.

It’s easier to just stay in my pajamas and in my bed,

I’ll just watch people live life on TV instead.

Afraid of rainbows that might actually lead to gold,

It was just easier to take the hand I was dealt and fold.


Sometimes nothing I did ever seemed right…


Then, my life changed with the appearance of two little eyes,

The importance of ME hit me by surprise.

It was easy to think, I can’t do this, and it’s too hard

My years of beating myself down had left me scarred.

But something began to happen deep down inside,

It was easy to see, I could no longer hide.


Sometimes you need a push into the light…


His little hand taking mine has launched my desire

To fulfill all of my dreams before I expire,

And develop the means to help him follow his own,

To create a warm, happy home

It is still easy to fall back into depression,

And I still some days have to battle regression,

But I no longer allow myself to fall all the way to the ground,

Because my son makes it easy to want to stick around.


Sometimes, life catches you by surprise...


My son venturing into the world to explore...
My son venturing into the world to explore... | Source

Comments 23 comments

billybuc profile image

billybuc 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

And that was simply beautiful! The first time I held my son I knew that life would never be the same...and it hasn't been. :)


bizarrett81 profile image

bizarrett81 3 years ago from Maine Author

= ) Same here, Bill . Before my son, I let the atrocities of life get me down instead of trying to drive me.


SMonaghan119 profile image

SMonaghan119 3 years ago from PA

Beautiful poem, beautiful picture, very nice. Yes, a child can truly change your life around, when the birth of my son came it turned me around as a person, opened my eyes, and gave love a new tab of definition. :)


bizarrett81 profile image

bizarrett81 3 years ago from Maine Author

Oh my goodness, yes, children truly change your entire universe. I had always heard people say that but you just don't truly know until that little one is first placed in your arms and they look into your eyes.

Thank you for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it and have a little boy of your own. Aren't they fun!


SMonaghan119 profile image

SMonaghan119 3 years ago from PA

They are great when they aren't throwing temper tantrums :)


bizarrett81 profile image

bizarrett81 3 years ago from Maine Author

oh boy do I know alot about THAT right now. My son thinks he can Hulk out or something when he's mad if he just clenches his fists and roars.


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 3 years ago

You bring back many memories of my niece and nephews when they were small.I have no children of my own but they kept me busy until they had to go home.I am so glad you found it in yourself to bring out the best of life and then anything else that brings you down let it go down ,down , the drain with all your pain.


bizarrett81 profile image

bizarrett81 3 years ago from Maine Author

Kids can definitely be the sunshine through the rain = ) I am glad you enjoyed and even though you don't have children of your own, i'm glad you could experience the bond and joy they can bring throug your niece and nephews. I have a few of my own and having them all togther are blessed times = )


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 3 years ago from Close to Heaven

Amazing poem I felt like that many times. I am glad you found your sun. Great writing. :)


bizarrett81 profile image

bizarrett81 3 years ago from Maine Author

Thank you so much Caroline. I am glad my son found me = ) Thank you for reading!


wildove5 profile image

wildove5 3 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

Beautiful! My daughter suffers from both depression and anxiety, she also has a 3yo son. I have tried to force her into the light, yet she prefers the darkness! I pray one day she looks deep into the eyes she made and realizes the reason he chose her!


bizarrett81 profile image

bizarrett81 3 years ago from Maine Author

I am sorry to hear that. I hope she can find herself, because thats where the answers really are... I hope your grandson can help her realize her worth. Thank you for reading, I am glad you enjoyed it.


Crystal Tatum profile image

Crystal Tatum 2 years ago from Georgia

Very inspiring Elizabeth. I love the line, "Sometimes you have to be pushed into the light." I am so glad your son did that for you. Sharing, voting up and more.


rebeccamealey profile image

rebeccamealey 2 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

Very very cool! Such great expression. This is a gteat share!


bizarrett81 profile image

bizarrett81 2 years ago from Maine Author

Thank you so much, Crystal. My son saved my life and gave it meaning, and I am also glad for that. Thank you for reading and sharing!


bizarrett81 profile image

bizarrett81 2 years ago from Maine Author

Thank you rebeccamealey!


jhamann profile image

jhamann 2 years ago from Reno NV

what a perfect last line. Your poem has touched me deeply, thank you for sharing. Jamie


bizarrett81 profile image

bizarrett81 2 years ago from Maine Author

Thank you so much, Jamie. I am glad you liked it


wildove5 profile image

wildove5 2 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

I just shared this with my daughter,,,,she has battled with both depression and anxiety and has only recently realized it! Thanks for sharing your sometimes painful journey into the light!


bizarrett81 profile image

bizarrett81 2 years ago from Maine Author

Wildove thank you for sharing. It is always my hope that someone can feel comforted by my words, knowing you're not alone in your feelings. I hope she can defeat her demons.


Johny Dumbrocyo 23 months ago

That was Beautiful. Really Great poem.


Ginny 21 months ago

This was awesome! I loved it!


bizarrett81 profile image

bizarrett81 21 months ago from Maine Author

thank you so much, Ginny!

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