I Will Be My Victim No More
Anxiety and depression, things that defined me,
Falling into an odd comfort with my mental illnesses beside me.
It was easier to say that it’s just too hard,
I just can’t play a hand after I’ve been dealt these cards.
Ducking responsibilities, running from life,
It was easier to pull up the blankets and hide.
Sometimes the sun just seemed way too bright…
Look out the window and then pull down the shades,
Who cares, I’d think, don’t need to go out there anyways.
It’s easier to just stay in my pajamas and in my bed,
I’ll just watch people live life on TV instead.
Afraid of rainbows that might actually lead to gold,
It was just easier to take the hand I was dealt and fold.
Sometimes nothing I did ever seemed right…
Then, my life changed with the appearance of two little eyes,
The importance of ME hit me by surprise.
It was easy to think, I can’t do this, and it’s too hard
My years of beating myself down had left me scarred.
But something began to happen deep down inside,
It was easy to see, I could no longer hide.
Sometimes you need a push into the light…
His little hand taking mine has launched my desire
To fulfill all of my dreams before I expire,
And develop the means to help him follow his own,
To create a warm, happy home
It is still easy to fall back into depression,
And I still some days have to battle regression,
But I no longer allow myself to fall all the way to the ground,
Because my son makes it easy to want to stick around.
Sometimes, life catches you by surprise...